My Boyfriend told me he wants to be a porn star

[Bellamystic]

He told me that if we break up he wants to be a porn star. This hurts me because this means I would have to break it off, but I haven't told him yet. He knows I disgust porn. Today, after he left I searched my iPod and he was looking up all kinds of nasty sites. I hit the back button and every site/youtube video made it so painful for me. He is obsessed and it seems everytime I turn my back, he's at it again. On my computer or on my iPod.
It's just hard for me to accept how someone can be so addicted. We have a good sex life (to me anyways), so I don't understand. I think it starts at an early age. He may be so used to watching porn that it's hard to break that habit. Before he met me, that's all he used to watch, he never really had a REAL, STEADY sex partner until me. So, I have to suffer and it's sad.
I have to let him go. I have never experienced anything like this, so it's so shocking to me. Also, for him to tell me he wants to be a pornstar is just too much. I could NEVER be with someone who thinks like that. He is screwed somewhere in the mind and I wish I would have caught this sooner.

 

[Spin]

Wow...

I wouldn't be surprised if he already started auditioning. Get out of that as soon as possible. There is really nothing good that can come out of this situation.

 

[LivingDol1]

seriously?

this reminds me of an MTV True Life episode.

he's not just joking?? he's really serious about becoming a porn star?

i'd dump him. even if it were a joke that's pretty obnoxious esp when he knows you don't like it.

 

[hopeful]

I'm so sorry. (((((hugs))))). I think the sooner you move on the better.

 

[Guitarhero]

So, I have to suffer and it's sad.

No, you don't.

I have to let him go.

Yes, you do.

I have never experienced anything like this, so it's so shocking to me.

I'm sure it would be.
Also, for him to tell me he wants to be a pornstar is just too much.

I could NEVER be with someone who thinks like that.

That's just the spirit you need! I hope you take the plunge and dump him.

He is screwed somewhere in the mind and I wish I would have caught this sooner.

An unintentional pun. Love it! You can find someone better!

 

[NYAmicas]

I'm sorry you're going through this but if he refuses to change then you should explore your option and look out for you.

 

[Bellamystic]

Wow...

I wouldn't be surprised if he already started auditioning. Get out of that as soon as possible. There is really nothing good that can come out of this situation.

Well, I hope he has good luck with his audition being he is overweight and they probably would make him use a pump if he did have the body. I'm pretty sure if he really wants it he would find some bum porn company who will accept him to do low quality porn. I do care about him even though we can't be together, I hope he doesn't catch AIDS. It will break my heart.

 

[VelvetRain]

Have you discussed with him the possibility of getting some help for his sexual addiction? Just when you think you really know someone they come out of the blue with some crazy off the wall stuff.erplexed

 

[song_of_serenity]

I know many guys like to look at porn but wow, it seems like a genuine addiction, not even taking his "porn star" suggestion into consideration.
...I hate to ask but are you sure he hasn't been stepping out? Sexually addicted people (which it seems like he is, given the frequency, seriously every second? Even on YOUR stuff not caring that you'll see it and knowing your dislike of it?) often go elsewhere to quench that "thirst" so to speak (not the Tiger variety, I still shake my head at there being such a thing)

You're not happy, it's not a healthy thing (I bet someone will say it's fine but...no. That...no) and I wish you the best. Hope he stays safe.

Also since you say you're his first real partner, and porn was all he really watched, the fantasy may be more than the reality and he may want to get in that lifestyle because he may be conditioned into thinking that's how sex REALLY is (not even thinking about editing, scene takes, fake props, fake women, fake penises etc)

 

[Bellamystic]

I know many guys like to look at porn but wow, it seems like a genuine addiction, not even taking his "porn star" suggestion into consideration.
...I hate to ask but are you sure he hasn't been stepping out? Sexually addicted people (which it seems like he is, given the frequency, seriously every second? Even on YOUR stuff not caring that you'll see it and knowing your dislike of it?) often go elsewhere to quench that "thirst" so to speak (not the Tiger variety, I still shake my head at there being such a thing)

You're not happy, it's not a healthy thing (I bet someone will say it's fine but...no. That...no) and I wish you the best. Hope he stays safe.

Also since you say you're his first real partner, and porn was all he really watched, the fantasy may be more than the reality and he may want to get in that lifestyle because he may be conditioned into thinking that's how sex REALLY is (not even thinking about editing, scene takes, fake props, fake women, fake penises etc)

@the Red highlight... Honestly, I don't think he's stepped out. Although I can't watch him 24/7, but we are Always together and when I used to work he was always available at his aunt's house and I think it would be pretty hard for him to get it on over there. Also, he's the type that likes to give confessions, so I think if he has ever stepped out, he would tell me because he likes that talkshow type crap. Just like he ends up confessing to me about him being on porn when sometimes I don't catch it and the time he rented $20 worth of porn on our DVR.

 

[Bellamystic]

Have you discussed with him the possibility of getting some help for his sexual addiction? Just when you think you really know someone they come out of the blue with some crazy off the wall stuff.erplexed

I really want to get help for him, but I don't think he will change. I am a skeptic of all that stuff. I think if one person has an addiction, one day they will return to their old behavior. I just believe this, even with drugs.

 

[deltadreamland]

I'm probably the lone ranger on this one, but I don't see a man's love for porn as a deal breaker, unless he's obsessed with gay porn. However, if he seriously wants to be a porn star, that is definitely a deal breaker.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Well, I hope he has good luck with his audition being he is overweight and they probably would make him use a pump if he did have the body. I'm pretty sure if he really wants it he would find some bum porn company who will accept him to do low quality porn. I do care about him even though we can't be together, I hope he doesn't catch AIDS. It will break my heart.

Hold up...wait a min *lights a newport one hunnit*


did u just say he's a chubby chubsta (a fatty) n has to use a penis pump? GTFOH!!!

ain't nobody gonna phuck him....das two strikes in da porn industry. Now if he was fat, but he had a large penis, den dats different. But dayum, u fat and u gotta little azzz penis?

chile puleez, i would drop him off da strength dat he would even think he could git dat off....a porn star.....

git da phuck outta dodd wif dat bu'shyt....i woulda laughed in his face

 

[awhyley]

^^^ This especially said it all right here, but I wanted to add that you may think that you're with him all da time, but men find the oddest times and places to skip out on you. Please get yourself tested, just in case. That would be the final step in getting rid of that loser, (who will probably call you in order to get back in your good books after he's rejected by porn companies - leave him right where he's at. He's a grown man, making his own decisions, you can only hope for the best).

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Wow. This guy sounds both addicted and incredibly immature. ITA about getting tested, but back in my pre-marriage days I stayed getting tested anyway, regardless of what I *thought* my BF was doing/not doing.

I'm so glad that you already know you can't persuade him to stop or convince him that being a pornstar is unrealistic. I mean for god's sake, men in pornos make like $50 to $1000 that women make.

 

[FlowerHair]

That's your cue, my friend.

Your cue to get out of the relationship.

 

[ArrrBeee]

Hold up...wait a min *lights a newport one hunnit*


did u just say he's a chubby chubsta (a fatty) n has to use a penis pump? GTFOH!!!

ain't nobody gonna phuck him....das two strikes in da porn industry. Now if he was fat, but he had a large penis, den dats different. But dayum, u fat and u gotta little azzz penis?

chile puleez, i would drop him off da strength dat he would even think he could git dat off....a porn star.....

git da phuck outta dodd wif dat bu'shyt....i woulda laughed in his face

Where do you come up with this stuff?

OP- Your situation is not going to get any better. When people show you who they are, believe them.

 

[myronnie]

seriously?

this reminds me of an MTV True Life episode.

he's not just joking?? he's really serious about becoming a porn star?

i'd dump him. even if it were a joke that's pretty obnoxious esp when he knows you don't like it.

I don't think it was on MTV True Life (or was it..) but there was a couple who were married and they were both porn stars but the husband was addicted to porn. Actually, now that I think about it this was on a show called Intervention on A&E. He was addicted to porn and a drug.
I personally wouldn't date a guy that wanted to be a porn star (and I mean actually acted upon it..not fantasized like most guys do)..too many fish in the sea..

 

[Black Ambrosia]

How old is your boyfriend? This sounds like something every guy probably fantasizes about as a teenager, maybe even as a young man, and then grows up.

 

[Sasha299]

Sorry honey but you need to save yourself - get out of that sinking ship. don't get dragged down with him.

 

[shenitab]

I'm with Black_Ambrosia - was dude serious or was he just talking. How old is he? How is he in other areas? What are his good points/other issues. I take it that you think he is really serious. Is this something that he is planning on acting on? Is he testing you out to see what you would say?
I think that dudes watching porn is not unusual. I think that young dudes watching a little too much porn is not unusual. However, I think that it can be addicting and I think that it can be indicative of other addicting behaviors. Have you talked about how you feel about the porn issue and what you feel is acceptable and not acceptable? What kind of porn is he watching? What is it about the porn that he is interested in? Is there something that he likes//watches that he does not think you would be interested in and the porn thing is a way for him to get on that topic.
Now you don't have to answer these questions on the forum, just some things to think about.
Alrighty, I've gone back and reread your posts. You are totally against porn and he has been hiding the fact that he has been looking at it. Did he tell you that he was going to stop but didn't? If you are totally against it, I don't think the relationship would work (whether he was watching sometimes or if he was really addicted).

 

[poookie]

Well, I hope he has good luck with his audition being he is overweight and they probably would make him use a pump if he did have the body. I'm pretty sure if he really wants it he would find some bum porn company who will accept him to do low quality porn. I do care about him even though we can't be together, I hope he doesn't catch AIDS. It will break my heart.

iDied

girl let him go out & get an STD with his trifling self! that way, you can make room for someone who's much better for you.

he sounds very immature. that, plus the fact that he has no problem he wants to go into porn, knowing you have an issue with it, says he has no regard for your feelings. dump him, & find someone that'll treat you right.

 

[Filmatic]

I thought I replied to this thread. I have a ex who was addicted to porn. He was white and only addicted to porn with black women with big butts. It really was a cover to deeper issue I found.

Run girl! Save yourself!

 

[Bellamystic]

I'm with Black_Ambrosia - was dude serious or was he just talking. How old is he? How is he in other areas? What are his good points/other issues. I take it that you think he is really serious. Is this something that he is planning on acting on? Is he testing you out to see what you would say?
I think that dudes watching porn is not unusual. I think that young dudes watching a little too much porn is not unusual. However, I think that it can be addicting and I think that it can be indicative of other addicting behaviors. Have you talked about how you feel about the porn issue and what you feel is acceptable and not acceptable? What kind of porn is he watching? What is it about the porn that he is interested in? Is there something that he likes//watches that he does not think you would be interested in and the porn thing is a way for him to get on that topic.
Now you don't have to answer these questions on the forum, just some things to think about.
Alrighty, I've gone back and reread your posts. You are totally against porn and he has been hiding the fact that he has been looking at it. Did he tell you that he was going to stop but didn't? If you are totally against it, I don't think the relationship would work (whether he was watching sometimes or if he was really addicted).

Was dude serious or was he just talking? Is this something that he is planning on acting on? Is he testing you out to see what you would say? -I have no Idea.

How old is he? 22 years old

I take it that you think he is really serious? A side of me does, but I also believe if he really wanted to do porn, he had the opportunity to have done it before he met me and even now. I don't think he actually would do it, but I don't put anything past anybody. He probably thought about it, but I have also thought about alot of things I would never do.

How is he in other areas? What are his good points/other issues?

• In other areas he has never given me a reason to despise him, other than the fact he has low self esteem and he loves talking about other people to feel better. I think he grew up in a household like that.

Have you talked about how you feel about the porn issue and what you feel is acceptable and not acceptable? Yes I have and his response is always: "So." Then, he'll blame me for something I did to try and make up for him doing it.

What kind of porn is he watching? He watches all types. Mostly black and white girls with big boobs and arses. I don't get it because I have the same bodytype.

What is it about the porn that he is interested in? He is interested in the arses and breast. He loves the Buffy the Body type women and he thinks that's how all women bodies are meant to be or he thinks you are "bad built" if you don't have that body type.

Is there something that he likes//watches that he does not think you would be interested in and the porn thing is a way for him to get on that topic? Honestly, I don't know, but he has asked me to watch it with him, but I always refuse. I don't get aroused by porn.

Did he tell you that he was going to stop but didn't? One thing he never did was tell me he was going to stop, but he did admit to me that they have some harsh stuff on porn. I'm glad he is showing some form knowledge on porn. He actually said it in a nonadmiring way. I think that's a good sign that he isn't totally mesmerized by the scenery of it all.

 

[Lenee925]

Don't make this an issue about porn. Don't try to make him 'see the light' about his obssession either. This usually backfires into them jerking off to the worst porn 5 times a day than the standard 3. If it wasn't porn honey, it'd be something else. The things people will fixate on could shock even the most jaded person. I'd dump him and dump him quick. No regrets, explanations, or trying to be the nice girl. You can find someone else who doesn't always need to get fluffed before knocking your socks off and has a bigger wang.

 

[cocoaluv]

Run.....run now. He sounds like a loser AND he is very stupid if he thinks that he will make it as a porn star being that he is fat and needs a penis pump.

 

[Bellamystic]

Run.....run now. He sounds like a loser AND he is very stupid if he thinks that he will make it as a porn star being that he is fat and needs a penis pump.

LOL

 

[suburbanbushbabe]

Why is he using your iPod? Seems like he doesn't care what you think. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

 

[abcd09]

I don't think it was on MTV True Life (or was it..) but there was a couple who were married and they were both porn stars but the husband was addicted to porn. Actually, now that I think about it this was on a show called Intervention on A&E. He was addicted to porn and a drug.
I personally wouldn't date a guy that wanted to be a porn star (and I mean actually acted upon it..not fantasized like most guys do)..too many fish in the sea..

Wait,the guy was addicted to porn and his wife was a pornstar? Howd she feel about that?

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

I thought I replied to this thread. I have a ex who was addicted to porn. He was white and only addicted to porn with black women with big butts. It really was a cover to deeper issue I found.

Run girl! Save yourself!

What were his issues?