Most Interesting Date Ever

TinyBlu

TinyBlu

Well-Known Member
So after being single and taking care of me for about a year, I've decided to "test the waters" and get back out there with the overall attitude that if I meet someone with whom I connect, wonderful, but if I don't, my life is quite fulfilled being a "me" instead of a "we".

I don't have much opportunity to meet someone organically due to my work schedule and work environment, and since I have a few acquaintances that have had success with online dating, I decided to give it a shot (again).

It's not for the faint of heart, that's for sure! I haven't received many responses to my profile due to its brutal honesty, but I emailed back and forth with a guy for a few weeks and decided to meet for a drink last night so I could escape easily if it wasn't a match.

I'm SO happy I did that. He seemed to be quite surprised that I was 40 with no children and had no desire to have any which seemed OK at first, but then the questions started...

HIM: "So just because you've never HAD a child doesn't mean you have never CARRIED one" Ummm, though I'm Pro Choice, I have never terminated a pregnancy...

HIM: "So you're one of those career women that just doesn't have time for children?" Not exactly. I do love my job, but children are a HUGE responsibility, and I didn't want to parent alone. I just never came across anyone with whom I'd like to co-parent so I took the proper precautions...

HIM: "So, are you able to reproduce?"

At this point, I decided to end this way-too-personal third degree by asking him if he took issue with the fact that I was single, black and 40 with no kids. His response:

"No, I just find it odd that a BLACK woman your age has never been pregnant and doesn't want to be..."

CHECK PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

I know it shouldn't bother me, but I felt SO judged, like I should apologize for my life choices. Why does it have to be something WRONG with me if I'm at this age with no children and no desire to pull a Janet Jackson (50 with a newborn? No Thank You!!!).

I absolutely adore children, but don't any of my own. Are women still judged by 1950's standards in 2017? WOW...
 
When I first joined the board I was replying to a topic that I was over 30 with no children and someone being snarky commented that "some chicks wombs are graveyards" meaning that I must have aborted the equivalent of a softball team in order to be childfree because birth control doesn't exist in this dimension.
 
How old is he? Does he have children? Does he know how contraceptives work? (rhetorical)

People are weird. Why is he worried about your reproductive system? Where would the conversation go if you said you terminated a pregnancy? Like "Oh ok. That makes sense. At least everything works." :drunk:
 
Crackers Phinn said:
When I first joined the board I was replying to a topic that I was over 30 with no children and someone being snarky commented that "some chicks wombs are graveyards" meaning that I must have aborted the equivalent of a softball team in order to be childfree because birth control doesn't exist in this dimension.
Click to expand...

:eek: that sounds like a LSA response not LHCF lol
 
Wow- my guy friend recently out with a tranny before - he had no idea. So he is overly critical of older women who don't have kids either. But either way the conversation was over the top.
 
Do you think he was interested in having more/children and wanted to know if you were able to?

Eta: I'm only asking because his line of questioning was so odd... I'm just trying to make sense out it. But then again maybe there is no sense to be made
 
Last edited:
Crackers Phinn said:
When I first joined the board I was replying to a topic that I was over 30 with no children and someone being snarky commented that "some chicks wombs are graveyards" meaning that I must have aborted the equivalent of a softball team in order to be childfree because birth control doesn't exist in this dimension.
Click to expand...
I hate when women make remarks like this to and about other woman. Some women actually practice birth control and care who they let ejaculate in them.
 
This conversation was about power and control. He saw you as a strong minded female. The only way he could establish his Manliness or control is to make you feel worthless or less than. If you had allowed him, he would have continued this abusive tone to keep you in check and him in control. You did well to leave. Women who see you as strong will use the same tactic to demean you and make themselves feel superior.
 
TinyBlu said:
So after being single and taking care of me for about a year, I've decided to "test the waters" and get back out there with the overall attitude that if I meet someone with whom I connect, wonderful, but if I don't, my life is quite fulfilled being a "me" instead of a "we".

I don't have much opportunity to meet someone organically due to my work schedule and work environment, and since I have a few acquaintances that have had success with online dating, I decided to give it a shot (again).

It's not for the faint of heart, that's for sure! I haven't received many responses to my profile due to its brutal honesty, but I emailed back and forth with a guy for a few weeks and decided to meet for a drink last night so I could escape easily if it wasn't a match.

I'm SO happy I did that. He seemed to be quite surprised that I was 40 with no children and had no desire to have any which seemed OK at first, but then the questions started...

HIM: "So just because you've never HAD a child doesn't mean you have never CARRIED one" Ummm, though I'm Pro Choice, I have never terminated a pregnancy...

HIM: "So you're one of those career women that just doesn't have time for children?" Not exactly. I do love my job, but children are a HUGE responsibility, and I didn't want to parent alone. I just never came across anyone with whom I'd like to co-parent so I took the proper precautions...

HIM: "So, are you able to reproduce?"

At this point, I decided to end this way-too-personal third degree by asking him if he took issue with the fact that I was single, black and 40 with no kids. His response:

"No, I just find it odd that a BLACK woman your age has never been pregnant and doesn't want to be..."

CHECK PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

I know it shouldn't bother me, but I felt SO judged, like I should apologize for my life choices. Why does it have to be something WRONG with me if I'm at this age with no children and no desire to pull a Janet Jackson (50 with a newborn? No Thank You!!!).

I absolutely adore children, but don't any of my own. Are women still judged by 1950's standards in 2017? WOW...
Click to expand...

My SO's sister told me that men had the nerve to ask her that question about carrying children before and how she thought it was so rude...

I couldn't believe that someone asked her that...but she tends to deal with low rent men so I figured it came with the territory...

I don't have children either but no one's ever asked me that...that's crazy. I think I would have cussed him out...
 
sgold04 said:
Some people just can't believe we would willingly avoid pregnancy all these years smh. I want children, but I want to be married first....so I take necessary precautions to not get pregnant, like why is that a shocker?
Click to expand...

Girl because people in general won't use birth control..like it doesn't even occur to them .. they're like my cousin..my mother said she over heard my cousin (3 kids) and her sister in law (4 kids) discussing how they hated taking birth control cause they couldn't stand swallowing pills...my mother said it's easier to swallow a pill than push out a baby....
 
I get it all the time.

No babies, never been prego, not having kids unless I have a ring on my finger.

I saw a guy I attended HS with not too long ago, when he asked all of those questions and he got the above responses, he looked so shocked! This reminds me that he texted me but I never responded....hmmm prob for the best :lol:
 
@mzpurp I agree with this 100%

I promised myself I would never get pregnant before I got married and if I never got married I wasn't having kids. I meant that and kept that promise. I have strong respect for all women who set standards early that they commit to as they build a pattern of responsible choices no matter the underlying reasons.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Danene5
Blind Date
Replies
4
Views
110
Bublin
B
F
  • Poll Poll
He Followed Her Friend On Social Media, Petty Betty Or Nah?
2 3
Replies
67
Views
2K
InchHighPrivateEye
InchHighPrivateEye
TinyBlu
The Motherhood Cliche... In 2019?
2
Replies
35
Views
1K
Sosa
Sosa
Eclass215
  • Poll Poll
Does anyone NOT want to get married?
2 3
Replies
76
Views
2K
nappystorm
nappystorm
jeanghrey
Gay, straight, or undecided?
Replies
18
Views
853
CharlieEcho
CharlieEcho
Back
Top