He Followed Her Friend On Social Media, Petty Betty Or Nah?

Which is it?

  • Petty

    Votes: 10 55.6%

  • Concerned

    Votes: 8 44.4%
  • Total voters
    18
The only thing I would say is that social media sites do a lot of auto-follow requests and prompts to add people who you share mutual connections with. I know I somehow synced my FB to Instagram and it automatically sent follow requests to everyone on my friend list who has IG. It was embarrassing if only because I had no desire to follow any of those people, really, nor to allow them to think that I was interested in doing so. Still haven't figured out how to just delete the account entirely.

He may be interested in her. He may have just clicked follow without thinking about it. Not everyone takes social media that seriously. Either way, I doubt their relationship hangs on this particular thing. Maybe she should focus on what is really bothering her about him.
 
Mortons said:
Men follow pretty women who post themselves on social media. It's to be expected
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Exactly. I'm a NBA fan so every time I post something on FB related to that I get a lot of random male FB requests. I don't delete them but I don't accept either I just let ignore them and they pile up.

It is unsettling to think of my SO befriending random pretty women. I actually don't have a SO but my girlfriends with SOs, their SOs don't seem like they'd befriend attractive women on social media just because. It sounds like this woman has some insecurities about herself that go beyond her SO's social media friends.
 
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In this hypothetical situation, that he doesn't treat me like a queen would be the biggest concern for me (and would be a reason to bail). I imagine if this person finds the follow problematic it's because they are unhappy in other aspects of the relationship in general. Irritation at the follow is just a diversion away from addressing whatever the real problem is.
 
Obviously he was going through her friend list. Why? And friending her friend which he hasn't met. Why? If it's because she's pretty...ok, got it. But surely there are a million other random pretty women he could follow. Why her friend? And didn't friend anyone else on her list, just that one pretty lady. Oh ok. He ain't slick. He was probably hoping that friend would open up the door with a conversation. Boy bye!
 
I'm sorry but I'm really struggling to care. At this age, they need to let it go. Her issue is with him not treating her the way she feels she deserves. So everything else he does irritates her as well. Sounds like it's time for a new boo
 
Why would she address her friend girl!? No! Any issues she has with him should be handled with him. She should drop him. Oh a loser finds your friend attractive so you think its appropriate to address her? Nooo. And I've been that friend girl but it wasn't on social media :look:. So it being in social media is neither here nor there. Women just need to stop dealing with scum and stop being delusional. *shrug*.
 
Zaynab said:
Yea and I was a bit irritated that she actually took time out of her day and texted me yes. And it was like "girl I just peeped that __ is following you, did you know that"? I was like following me where? IG. I said oh, then he must like nails, me trying to blow it off. She came back like I don't get why he would follow you when he doesn't know you and we've never had pics together on IG. I said maybe he's trying to get his follow count up. That happened ALL the time when I was on FB.
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Cringe!!!! I am embarrassed for her!!
 
MariposaSexyGirl said:
And I vote petty because she concerned about the wrong thing. She need to be concerned of why she is allowing a loser do as he wishes and still have her stick around. In my most polite tone since this is your friend :look: but I talk to my friends very frankly lol
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It's crazy, I've told her many times that he's luke warm about her and it's not a good thing, I don't think men grow to fiery love. Women need to be with men that are crazy about them, to where petty stuff like this won't bother them.

I would never stay with a man that's "meh" about me, what?! That doesn't even make sense.

She really thinks her friend should've given her a heads up for the sake of transparency..I think if anything she should mention something to him.
 
I have no idea who my SO follows. I have better things to worry about. I don't think I've ever even gone through a friend list. I really could careless about social media like that. I am friends with friend's husbands, ex boyfriends, children and so on. I never take friending that seriously. I mean half of my sister's friends who I have never met, male and female, have sent me friend request. I think nothing of it.
 
Men that are big social media users are a turn off to me. They are going overboard these days, posting more selfies than the average woman, pressed for likes and followers, constantly in your inbox or trying to add/follow you....very unattractive behavior. Women on this fb group I'm on are always trying to get with dudes in the group that display the above behavior...like really?

Not sure what I would do in the scenario in the OP...I wouldn't like it but I'm not sure I would speak on it...might just look at the relationship overall and see if that is part of a larger picture. Not because I'm insecure..just don't think that kind of behavior is attractive.
 
MuziqizLyfe said:
Not sure what I would do in the scenario in the OP...I wouldn't like it but I'm not sure I would speak on it...might just look at the relationship overall and see if that is part of a larger picture. Not because I'm insecure..just don't think that kind of behavior is attractive.
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There's a word for this in my country : "laddish". I've never dated or had a relationship with a guy like that.

Honestly, I know my FH would side eye me if I added/followed hot friends of his when I hadn't met them yet :look:. He finds things like that potentially dodgy and doesn't act like that either. If his friends SO's add him without knowing him he rejects it. I'm not sure if he tells the friend though.
 
FemmeFatale said:
It's crazy, I've told her many times that he's luke warm about her and it's not a good thing, I don't think men grow to fiery love. Women need to be with men that are crazy about them, to where petty stuff like this won't bother them.

I would never stay with a man that's "meh" about me, what?! That doesn't even make sense.

She really thinks her friend should've given her a heads up for the sake of transparency..I think if anything she should mention something to him.
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They don't. If he's blah about her now, what would sustain a relationship during the tough times and not so fun times? He's probably looking for a better opportunity honestly.

@ the second bolded. What if the friend didn't know? I think that's what bothered me about it, I didn't know. My page is open, I have random followers all the time.
 
Zaynab said:
Yea and I was a bit irritated that she actually took time out of her day and texted me yes. And it was like "girl I just peeped that __ is following you, did you know that"? I was like following me where? IG. I said oh, then he must like nails, me trying to blow it off. She came back like I don't get why he would follow you when he doesn't know you and we've never had pics together on IG. I said maybe he's trying to get his follow count up. That happened ALL the time when I was on FB.
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What a 'tarded arse conversation.

Like how can anyone take women like this seriously
 
My sister's bestie since grade school im me on fb asking where my husband was from. I had not spoken to her in decades and she lives in another country. I told her and sent a friend request to her.

She never accepted my friend request but sent one to DH.

He asked me if i knew her because she did not look familiar to him (he hardly goes on fb and when he accepts requests it is only his or my family, his friends and former school mates).

I told him i did not know her and he blocked her.

I thought i was being mean...
 
FemmeFatale said:
She really thinks her friend should've given her a heads up for the sake of transparency..I think if anything she should mention something to him.
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Ugh! So she hasn't bothered to address it with the boyfriend but expects her friend to keep track of every person following her and then notify friend if friend's boyfriend happens to be following her? When a dude acts up why must the burden always fall on a woman? And then if the friend did tell her she probably wouldn't do anything about it as far taking action with the boyfriend and likely would get an attitude with the friend. I swear its so draining being a woman sometimes. Will men ever have any accountability?
 
Kalani said:
Ugh! So she hasn't bothered to address it with the boyfriend but expects her friend to keep track of every person following her and then notify friend if friend's boyfriend happens to be following her? When a dude acts up why must the burden always fall on a woman? And then if the friend did tell her she probably wouldn't do anything about it as far taking action with the boyfriend and likely would get an attitude with the friend. I swear its so draining being a woman sometimes. Will men ever have any accountability?
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Welp from what I understand, she really believes that the friend is his type and the better catch. It's almost like she's not faulting him for wanting to follow her. She's faulting the friend for not blocking him and telling her even though I don't think the friend knows, especially with the open page and all.
 
FemmeFatale said:
Welp from what I understand, she really believes that the friend is his type and the better catch. It's almost like she's not faulting him for wanting to follow her. She's faulting the friend for not blocking him and telling her even though I don't think the friend knows, especially with the open page and all.
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Wow, so she's okay with her boyfriend actively going after someone who is more his type. What if he goes after someone that is not her friend and she has no control over the situation at all? She needs to just save herself the anxiety over the inevitable and let him go so he is free to seek out his greener pastures. Its a shame she doesn't think more highly of herself.
 
Im not on social media...but i always found men on social media to be odddd....it just seems off..like society is tipping into another area..

i guess im old school im use to men not being so visible and expressive with their thoughts and i like it that way :look:
like a man should be working and if ya not at work you should be maintaining the smile on my face and keeping your family happy...tis all

MuziqizLyfe said:
Men that are big social media users are a turn off to me. They are going overboard these days, posting more selfies than the average woman, pressed for likes and followers, constantly in your inbox or trying to add/follow you....very unattractive behavior. Women on this fb group I'm on are always trying to get with dudes in the group that display the above behavior...like really?

Not sure what I would do in the scenario in the OP...I wouldn't like it but I'm not sure I would speak on it...might just look at the relationship overall and see if that is part of a larger picture. Not because I'm insecure..just don't think that kind of behavior is attractive.
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MariposaSexyGirl said:
Why would she address her friend girl!? No! Any issues she has with him should be handled with him. She should drop him. Oh a loser finds your friend attractive so you think its appropriate to address her? Nooo. And I've been that friend girl but it wasn't on social media :look:. So it being in social media is neither here nor there. Women just need to stop dealing with scum and stop being delusional. *shrug*.
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I never get why women do this!?!? I am not gonna lie it has happened to me. My friend's ex "friended" me and I accepted. They dated years ago and she still asked me to unfollow him. :spinning: Which I did because I thought it was too petty to make a big deal over even though we were all mutual friends at one point and they didn't breakup on a bad note.

If you think it is disrespectful or if it bothers you that your man followed your friend on SM then you need to address him not the friend.
 
lux10023 said:
Im not on social media...but i always found men on social media to be odddd....it just seems off..like society is tipping into another area..

i guess im old school im use to men not being so visible and expressive with their thoughts and i like it that way :look:
like a man should be working and if ya not at work you should be maintaining the smile on my face and keeping your family happy...tis all
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Yessssssss!!!!! I don't mind a fb page that's not really updated much but that's it.
 
FemmeFatale said:
She really thinks her friend should've given her a heads up for the sake of transparency..I think if anything she should mention something to him.
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This is what your friend is petty for. However, her boyfriend is petty for (1) going through her friend list and (2) friending her girlfriend. It seems like he was hoping to get a reaction out of her or her girlfriend. Either way, I can't be bothered with simple or immature dudes like that. It's such a waste of energy. I honestly wouldn't bring it up to either of them and just kick him to the curb for the other things you mentioned about him.
 
MariposaSexyGirl said:
And I vote petty because she concerned about the wrong thing. She need to be concerned of why she is allowing a loser do as he wishes and still have her stick around. In my most polite tone since this is your friend :look: but I talk to my friends very frankly lol
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:yep:
I personally don't think it's petty, but I think she is dealing with a loser. You're right.

In my opinion it's a red flag about him. She should take heed and ditch him. I say that her feeling about it isn't petty because I think the fact that he did that is indicative of shadiness.

She shouldn't approach the friend about it though.
 
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