More Black Women Consider 'Dating Out' (article)

I do. I definitely find it interesting that these interracial programs or articles never emphasize finding love with other races besides white. It’s like no matter what, white is right. Now, black women are in a situation where they may have to open their options, but this doesn’t necessarily have to be with white men.

Point well taken. If the article had been about black women marrying outside the black race, which also includes Hispanics, Asians, and so on, the bottom line is that more black women are dating/marrying outside their race. And more often than not their partners are Caucasian/European rather than Hispanic, Asian, or American Native. I do wish that more mainstream articles would emphasize love relationships within the black community, but look at the statistics. If only 30% of black families are intact and together, the natural inclination is to want to understand why that is. Sure they could highlight that 30%, but for me as a researcher I would want to know why that 30% exists. Pointing out these statistical trends is not inherently racist. The facts remain, and we should be appalled by the fact that more black men/women aren't marrying. We should be equally appalled that the majority of IR are black men/white women. That's not the White Man's fault.

A few weeks ago I sent the following article from the Washington Post. Apparently many of our black children are succumbing to the view that marriage is for white people. This isn't some conspiratorial message planted in their heads by The Man. Rather than blaming the mainstream media or The Man for our woes, we need to delve deeper into why this mentality exists. There's a reason why nearly 70% of black women will never marry. Rather than shunning the facts, let's talk about why...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/25/AR2006032500029.html

As for me, I want to be in that 30% whether I marry a white, black, purple, green or blue. Why should I have to remain in the 70% waiting on a black man who may not want me anyway? To me, that's absurd.:wallbash:
 
I could not care who or what people date but I really wish they would stop the black male bashing and pitting of black women against black men.
Is it really necessary?
I am so tired of these useless marketing/propoganda articles.
To me that all is they are. These articles are not insightful, or even usefull.
They are useless and only exist to glorify the white race, like everything else.
From its inception, this country has never cared for the black man or black women, nor has it done right by them.
Time and time again, these sort of articles are printed to manifest and show "the troubled black race" and the white saviors, from the school systems to intimate relationships and marriages, black people are seen as a sad lot. According to these articles Black people can't get right unless white people are involved.

When will this rubbish ever stop??????
No it will never stop as long as there is a thirsty women out there who are willing to put down her own and not man up as to her real reason for being in a IR :look:
Many of the women in these relationships are happy and don't need to justify or explain their choices! Cuz they don't owe any of us a got darn thing.....But these article writing website chicks:perplexed
 
No it will never stop as long as there is a thirsty women out there who are willing to put down her own and not man up as to her real reason for being in a IR :look:
Many of the women in these relationships are happy and don't need to justify or explain their choices! Cuz they don't owe any of us a got darn thing.....But these article writing website chicks:perplexed

ITA.
Find love and be happy, but where is your damn sense of pride and esteem that you have to put down your own and praise others.
They will never in a million years do the same for you.
I have yet to read one major news source for white men or men of other races touting the perils of Black women, and putting them above thier own and yet these foolish women allow others to disrespect, insult and embarass their own, without an ounce of shame. You should be ashamed of yourself.

If God has blessed you with a man from another race, then you should simply say that that is who God has chosen for you and leave Black men and the Black race out of your mouth.

These articles are for the birds.
 
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ITA.
Find love and be happy, but where is your damn sense of pride and esteem that you have to put down your own and praise others.
They will never in a million years do the same for you.
I have yet to read one major news source for white men or men of other races touting the perils of Black women, and putting them above thier own and yet these foolish women allow others to disrespect, insult and embarass their own, without an ounce of shame. You should be ashamed of yourself.

If God has blessed you with a man from another race, then you should simply say that that is who God has chosen for you and leave Black men and the Black race out of your mouth.

These articles are for the birds.
In my Angela Davis voice "tell it sistah!
 
Point well taken. If the article had been about black women marrying outside the black race, which also includes Hispanics, Asians, and so on, the bottom line is that more black women are dating/marrying outside their race. And more often than not their partners are Caucasian/European rather than Hispanic, Asian, or American Native. I do wish that more mainstream articles would emphasize love relationships within the black community, but look at the statistics. If only 30% of black families are intact and together, the natural inclination is to want to understand why that is. Sure they could highlight that 30%, but for me as a researcher I would want to know why that 30% exists. Pointing out these statistical trends is not inherently racist. The facts remain, and we should be appalled by the fact that more black men/women aren't marrying. We should be equally appalled that the majority of IR are black men/white women. That's not the White Man's fault.

A few weeks ago I sent the following article from the Washington Post. Apparently many of our black children are succumbing to the view that marriage is for white people. This isn't some conspiratorial message planted in their heads by The Man. Rather than blaming the mainstream media or The Man for our woes, we need to delve deeper into why this mentality exists. There's a reason why nearly 70% of black women will never marry. Rather than shunning the facts, let's talk about why...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/25/AR2006032500029.html

As for me, I want to be in that 30% whether I marry a white, black, purple, green or blue. Why should I have to remain in the 70% waiting on a black man who may not want me anyway? To me, that's absurd.:wallbash:

I agree with this, but there are a few things I disagree with. I also want to add some thoughts.

You said: We should be equally appalled that the majority of IR are black men/white women. That's not the White Man's fault.

I say: It's not the White Man's fault...Directly. But trust, the White man has planted a seed that Black is not beautiful or enough. So over the time since we've been here, we've always tried (as a people, not individually) to be enough, and for some, that's with white!

You said: If only 30% of black families are intact and together, the natural inclination is to want to understand why that is. Sure they could highlight that 30%, but for me as a researcher I would want to know why that 30% exists. There's a reason why nearly 70% of black women will never marry. As for me, I want to be in that 30% whether I marry a white, black, purple, green or blue. Why should I have to remain in the 70% waiting on a black man who may not want me anyway?

I say: I agree that there's a huge problem with the fact that only 30% of black women are married, and only 30% of black families are intact. However, I think the answer to this has less to do with race, and more to do with values. We live in a country where more than half the population that marries will divorce (no matter what the race of the spouses are). That's just not happening everywhere in the world. And there's a reason for it. Our society does not value marriage and family like it used to, and Blacks are the hardest hit by this reality. Likewise, there could be more Black marriages, IMO, if people were more willing to marry. Some of the black men who could marry don't, b/c they don't have to. Instead of SOME of them having the attitude, "let's make it better for the generation ahead," they have an "I'm the man, and I don't have to settle down attitude," and this hurts everyone in the end. I'm not blaming Black men for all of the race's problems, but the "all about me" attitude is what harms the modern American family, Black, White, purple or green, IMO!
 
do they usually look like her?

FatGirl.jpg

LMAO! Now you know that's wrong...LOL!
 
I'm really confused about the whole situation:


I'll give a scenario:

My SO (who is black) and I were coming out of the mall going to the car. As we were heading towards the parking lot, a well dressed IR couple (white man and black woman) steps out a nice SUV/ Escalade I think it was. The white man didn't pay us no mind, but I noticed the black woman kept staring at us, her eyes darting back and forth between us. She kept staring at my SO and then me and turned up her nose ( I guess she didn't know that we saw her do that since we don't stare at people like she was). I don't know if it was because we were holding hands or if we didn't look as fabulous as she and her SO did (I know that probably sounds rediculous...)
QUOTE]

Personally, I think that if someone can't date outside their race without scoping out other people's reactions, they're not as comfortable with it as they claim to be, IMHO. I mean, come on now...if this is the person they're supposed to be love with and they're really digging this person, one would think they wouldn't have time to even care who's looking or what people think.

I know I wouldn't, but maybe I'm strange..LOL.
 
My response in bolded red:

I agree with this, but there are a few things I disagree with. I also want to add some thoughts.

You said: We should be equally appalled that the majority of IR are black men/white women. That's not the White Man's fault.

I say: It's not the White Man's fault...Directly. But trust, the White man has planted a seed that Black is not beautiful or enough. So over the time since we've been here, we've always tried (as a people, not individually) to be enough, and for some, that's with white!

My response: Indeed the white power structure and the lingering effects of white priviledge, discrimination and bigotry has definitely had a detrimental, nearly catatrosphic impact on the stability of the black family. I think the economic structure has contributed to this indirectly. However, what conditions existed during one of the most turbulent times in our history--the 1950's and 1960's--that explain why, despite these trying times, black families remained intact? The breakdown of the black family after this period is indirectly related to the loss of manufacturing and semi-skilled jobs that left the cities in the '70s and into the '80s. But mental slavery that affects ideals and standards of beauty still doesn't answer the question for why black families remained pretty much intact, with two-parent families until perhaps the 70s and 80s. My guess is that both economic and cultural impacts were prevalent even during those times. But there is something much deeper at work here than just saying that beauty concepts has gotten us to this point. I think some of that definitely is happening. But I also think that many of us have grown in our awareness of these issues that we would be able to pinpoint cultural racism enough to combat it. I don't think black men necessarily find white women more physically beautiful. There's some of that, but another aspect is that in my experience, black men who want white women see some economic and cultural advantage for pursuing them. Quite frankly, in my discussions with black men, many of them see the white woman as an escape from certain personal responsibilities, i.e., the white woman's tolerance for black male self interests. As I understand it, there are black men with white women who will break their necks to check out an attractive sister or find black women attractive.

You said: If only 30% of black families are intact and together, the natural inclination is to want to understand why that is. Sure they could highlight that 30%, but for me as a researcher I would want to know why that 30% exists. There's a reason why nearly 70% of black women will never marry. As for me, I want to be in that 30% whether I marry a white, black, purple, green or blue. Why should I have to remain in the 70% waiting on a black man who may not want me anyway?

I say: I agree that there's a huge problem with the fact that only 30% of black women are married, and only 30% of black families are intact. However, I think the answer to this has less to do with race, and more to do with values. We live in a country where more than half the population that marries will divorce (no matter what the race of the spouses are). That's just not happening everywhere in the world. And there's a reason for it. Our society does not value marriage and family like it used to, and Blacks are the hardest hit by this reality. Likewise, there could be more Black marriages, IMO, if people were more willing to marry. Some of the black men who could marry don't, b/c they don't have to. Instead of SOME of them having the attitude, "let's make it better for the generation ahead," they have an "I'm the man, and I don't have to settle down attitude," and this hurts everyone in the end. I'm not blaming Black men for all of the race's problems, but the "all about me" attitude is what harms the modern American family, Black, White, purple or green, IMO!

My Reponse: On this we wholeheartedly agree! :clapping: Again, I gave the example of the Washington Post article that I posted earlier. It does point out that there is an overall shift in the paradigm on the value of marriage. People are prolonging marriage for whatever reason. Perhaps that affects the value we place on it. In this materialistic, capitalist society, everyone is out for themselves and this is a dog-eat-dog world. But like I said earlier, the problems of the larger, mainstream society, affect minorities to a much greater extent. Someone once said that when white society catches a cold, the black community battles the flu. So now we have this crisis of declining black family and what are we going to do about it? Blame it on the larger societal structure or begin to reexamine our own role in this madness? There is something really wrong when young black children believe that marriage, education, the American Dream is reserved for whites. I'm not sure if I can or want to blame that mentality on mainstream society.
 
Educate me. not being sarcastic, what do you mean? How to analyze?
Thanks

I didn't take it as sarcastic. Is the statistics taking into consideration population size.


The disproportionate representation of black Americans in the U.S. criminal justice system is well documented.17 Blacks comprise 13 percent of the national population, but 30 percent of people arrested, 41 percent of people in jail,18 and 49 percent of those in prison.19 Nine percent of all black adults are under some form of correctional supervision (in jail or prison, on probation or parole), compared to two percent of white adults. 20 One in three black men between the ages of 20 and 29 was either in jail or prison, or on parole or probation in 1995.21 One in ten black men in their twenties and early thirties is in prison or jail. 22 Thirteen percent of the black adult male population has lost the right to vote because of felony disenfranchisement laws.23

Admissions to Prison

Racial disparities in incarceration increased in the 1980s and 1990s as the number of blacks sent to prison grew at a faster rate than the number of whites. 24 Between 1979 and 1990, the number of blacks as a percentage of all persons admitted to state and federal prisons increased from 39 to 53 percent.25 Although the admissions for both races, in absolute numbers, rose sharply, the increase was greatest for blacks (Figure 1).

Human Rights Watch has been able to analyze state prison admissions based on raw data on 37 states gathered by the Bureau of Justice Statistics of the U.S. Department of Justice through its National Corrections Reporting Program (NCRP) for 1996, the most recent year for which this data is available. In 17 of these states, blacks constituted more than half of all prison admissions (Table 2). Maryland had the highest percentage of black admissions, 79 percent, followed by Illinois with 74 percent, Louisiana with 73 percent, and New Jersey with 72 percent.

Overrepresentation of Blacks in Prison

In every state, the proportion of blacks in prison exceeds, sometimes by a considerable amount, their proportion in the general population (Figure 2). In Minnesota and Iowa, blacks constitute a share of the prison population that is twelve times greater than their share of the state population. In eleven states -- Kansas, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Utah, Washington, Wisconsin, and Wyoming --the percentage of the prison population that is black is more than six times greater than the percentage of the state population that is black.

Rates of Incarceration

Racially disaggregated incarceration rates that measure the number of confined blacks and whites per 100,000 residents of each racial group yield another perspective on the extent of racial disparities in imprisonment. Nationwide, blacks are incarcerated at 8.2 times the rate of whites. That is, a black person is 8.2 times more likely to be in prison than a white person. Among individual states, there are even more extraordinary racial disparities in incarceration rates (Figure 3). In seven states -- Connecticut, Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, New Jersey, Pennsylvania,

and Wisconsin -- blacks are incarcerated at more than 13 times the rate of whites. Minnesota has by far the highest disparity -- blacks in that state are incarcerated at 23 times the rate of whites. In the District of Columbia, blacks are incarcerated at 34 times the rate of whites. Even in Hawaii and Vermont, the states with the smallest racial disparities in incarceration rates, blacks are still incarcerated at more than twice the rate of whites.26

Blacks are incarcerated nationally at a rate of 1,547 per 100,000 black residents. In some states, the black rate of incarceration reaches extraordinary levels (Table 3). In Alaska, Arizona, Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Texas, Wisconsin and the District of Columbia, blacks are incarcerated at rates that exceed 2,000 per 100,000. The lowest incarceration rate for blacks, 570 in North Dakota, exceeds the highest rate for whites, 440 in Arizona.

These rates of incarceration reflect a marked increase since the late 1980s. Although rates increased for both whites and blacks in most states between 1988 and 1996, the black rate in most states increased more than the white rate. The national black rate of incarceration increased 67 percent, from 922 per 100,000 black residents to 1547, while the white rate increased 28 percent, from 134 to 188 per 100,000 white residents (Table 4). In nine states --Iowa, Kentucky, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, West Virginia, and Wisconsin -- the black rate of incarceration doubled. In another twenty-six states, the rate increased by fifty percent or more. In contrast, the white rate increased by fifty percent in fifteen states; in only two states (South Dakota and Washington) did the white rate double. As a result, the ratio of the rates of black to white incarceration increased from 6.8 to 8.2.

Rates of Incarceration of Black and White Men

Since most inmates are adult men, an even more significant measure of the extent of racial disparities in state prison populations and of the sheer magnitude of black incarceration is obtained from comparing the racially disaggregated incarceration rates of men over the age of eighteen.27 In no state are black men incarcerated at rates even close to those of white men (Figure 4). Nationwide, black men are incarcerated at 9.6 times the rate of white men. In eleven states, black men are incarcerated at rates that are twelve to twenty-six times greater than those of white men (Table 5). Thus, in Minnesota, the state with the greatest racial disparity in incarceration, a black man is 26.8 times more likely to be in prison than a white man. In Connecticut, Illinois, Iowa, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin, a black man is more than fifteen times more likely to be in prison than a white man. In the District of Columbia, black men are incarcerated at 49 times the rate of white men.

The rate at which black men are incarcerated is astonishing. There are 4,630 black men in prison nationwide per 100,000 black men in the population, whereas the rate for white men is 482.28 In ten states and the District of Columbia, black men are incarcerated at staggeringly high rates that range from 5,740 to 7,859 per 100,000. In contrast, the range among the ten states with the highest rates of white male incarceration is 620 to 1,151. The highest rate of white male incarceration (1,151) is lower than the lowest rate of black male incarceration (1,195). According to Department of Justice calculations, if current rates of incarceration remain unchanged, 28.5 percent of black men will be confined in prison at least once during their lifetime, a figure six times greater than that for white men.29

Because of their extraordinary rate of incarceration, one in every 20 black men over the age of 18 is in a state or federal prison, compared to one in every 180 whites. In certain states, the incarceration of black men reaches devastating levels: in Oklahoma and Iowa one in every thirteen black men is in state prison; in Rhode Island, Texas and Wisconsin, the figure is one in every fourteen (Table 6).

17 See generally, Marc Mauer, Race to Incarcerate (New York: The New Press, 1999) pp. 118-142; David Cole, No Equal Justice. Although racial bias may play a role in individual cases, most researchers believe racial disparities in the criminal justice system are primarily the result of indirect discrimination; the impact of race-linked (e.g. poverty, education, neighborhood of arrest) disadvantages compounded through out the criminal justice processing system; specific "social structural contexts;" and such legally relevant race neutral variables as the existence of prior records. See, generally, Robert J. Sampson and Janet L. Lauritsen, "Racial and Ethnic Disparities in Crime and Criminal Justice in the United States," in Michael Tonry, ed., Ethnicity, Crime, and Immigration, (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1997).
http://www.hrw.org/reports/2000/usa/Rcedrg00-01.htm
 
I agree with this, but there are a few things I disagree with. I also want to add some thoughts.

You said: We should be equally appalled that the majority of IR are black men/white women. That's not the White Man's fault.

I say: It's not the White Man's fault...Directly. But trust, the White man has planted a seed that Black is not beautiful or enough. So over the time since we've been here, we've always tried (as a people, not individually) to be enough, and for some, that's with white!

You said: If only 30% of black families are intact and together, the natural inclination is to want to understand why that is. Sure they could highlight that 30%, but for me as a researcher I would want to know why that 30% exists. There's a reason why nearly 70% of black women will never marry. As for me, I want to be in that 30% whether I marry a white, black, purple, green or blue. Why should I have to remain in the 70% waiting on a black man who may not want me anyway?

I say: I agree that there's a huge problem with the fact that only 30% of black women are married, and only 30% of black families are intact. However, I think the answer to this has less to do with race, and more to do with values. We live in a country where more than half the population that marries will divorce (no matter what the race of the spouses are). That's just not happening everywhere in the world. And there's a reason for it. Our society does not value marriage and family like it used to, and Blacks are the hardest hit by this reality. Likewise, there could be more Black marriages, IMO, if people were more willing to marry. Some of the black men who could marry don't, b/c they don't have to. Instead of SOME of them having the attitude, "let's make it better for the generation ahead," they have an "I'm the man, and I don't have to settle down attitude," and this hurts everyone in the end. I'm not blaming Black men for all of the race's problems, but the "all about me" attitude is what harms the modern American family, Black, White, purple or green, IMO!


I understand your point that the white man has planted such a seed, but I beg to ask, why are the black men so highly effected by this and black women are not. This being displayed in the stats of IR's.

Second, I understand also that black people are effected more by the problems which hit America holisitically. But still, we never get to the why? Why is there an "it's all about me" attitude that you say black men possess? That question was never really answered.:nono:
 
Educate me. not being sarcastic, what do you mean? How to analyze?
Thanks

Example:
Suspose we have 100,000 people in prison: 80% white and 20% black.
Suppose that the blacks make up 10% of the U.S. population (1,000,000).
Then 80,000 of 900,000 whites are in prison and 20,000 of the 100,000 blacks are in prison.
.08 of whites
.20 of blacks
1 out of every 5 blacks are in prison.
1 out of every 11 whites are in prison.
This says blacks are more than twice as likely to go to prison than whites.
THese are all fake figures. I wanted to show how population size is important when making comparisons.


Yes, the seed was planted long before I was born. What to do? What can we do? We can support and build up our black males? (oh, we are already doing that) We can pray and fast and accept/adopt lower standards? (oh, yeah, we are already doing that. I really don't think there is anything a woman can do. Men have to lead this movement to save other men.
 
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Example:
Suspose we have 100,000 people in prison: 80% white and 20% black.
Suppose that the blacks make up 10% of the U.S. population (1,000,000).
Then 80,000 of 900,000 whites are in prison and 20,000 of the 100,000 blacks are in prison.
.08 of whites
.20 of blacks
1 out of every 5 blacks are in prison.
1 out of every 11 whites are in prison.
This says blacks are more than twice as likely to go to prison than whites.
THese are all fake figures. I wanted to show how population size is important when making comparisons.


Yes, this is something we def. need to take into consideration. That gets me to thinking, if they say white couples are more likely to marry without taking into consideration that there are more white people, then the stats aren't going to be equivalent. If there are more white people, there will be more white marriages.

Example. There are 100,000 white people and 50,00 are married. The percentage is 50%. Then, there are 50,000 black people and 25,000 are married. A person wishing to create fallacies would run with these numbers, saying that black people are less likely to marry.
 
Yes, this is something we def. need to take into consideration. That gets me to thinking, if they say white couples are more likely to marry without taking into consideration that there are more white people, then the stats aren't going to be equivalent. If there are more white people, there will be more white marriages.

Example. There are 100,000 white people and 50,00 are married. The percentage is 50%. Then, there are 50,000 black people and 25,000 are married. A person wishing to create fallacies would run with these numbers, saying that black people are less likely to marry.

Could be. There are many ways to lie with Statistics.
 
Example:
Suspose we have 100,000 people in prison: 80% white and 20% black.
Suppose that the blacks make up 10% of the U.S. population (1,000,000).
Then 80,000 of 900,000 whites are in prison and 20,000 of the 100,000 blacks are in prison.
.08 of whites
.20 of blacks
1 out of every 5 blacks are in prison.
1 out of every 11 whites are in prison.
This says blacks are more than twice as likely to go to prison than whites.
THese are all fake figures. I wanted to show how population size is important when making comparisons.


Yes, the seed was planted long before I was born. What to do? What can we do? We can support and build up our black males? (oh, we are already doing that) We can pray and fast and accept/adopt lower standards? (oh, yeah, we are already doing that. I really don't think there is anything a woman can do. Men have to lead this movement to save other men.
I appreciate everything you broke down for me cause I'm a statistical idiot:lachen: I do agree to some extent.

However, as a mother of a son; I think it's very important that mothers instill pride to their children. I really do believe that black males have it a lot harder:yep: I just do! I can be wrong and I'm open for debate...But it's how I feel. Men don't give birth to men they only plant the seed. While they share responsibility of their seed....Every time I see a young boy in trouble...the next comment is where's your mother:lachen:

I'm not arguing you Delp; but I think overall as a community we need to do better. The articles and talk shows just reinforce the negative. I'm sorry there's and Old Jamaican saying "Wash your Clothes At Home"...Which basically means don't air your dirty laundry in public.
Now should we be silent...NO! Because we do need more honest discussions, but I'm tired of the public lynchings of the black male by a select few black women.
 
I'm tired of the public lynchings of the black male by a select few black women.

I’m confused about how these women are “lynching” black men. Can you state what you are referring to specifically? Because I’ve only heard black women in the media complain about the following:

1)The fathers of their child/children are not involved. Guess what? Statistics affirm that the majority of black children are daddyless. About 70 percent of all African-American births are out of wedlock and over 85 percent of African-American children will spend some years of their childhood without a father in the home.
2)There are too many black men in jail. Guess what? At the end of 2002, blacks constituted 45.1 percent of the total prison population (with an incarceration rate more than seven times greater than whites)
3)Not enough black men are in college. Guess what? Black Women are Earning College Degrees at Twice the Rate of Black Men

Like Judge Mathis says,” it’s not slander if what you are saying is true.” I don’t believe it helps to sweep issues in the black community under the rug. “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.”
 
I’m confused about how these women are “lynching” black men. Can you state what you are referring to specifically? Because I’ve only heard black women in the media complain about the following:

1)The fathers of their child/children are not involved. Guess what? Statistics affirm that the majority of black children are daddyless. About 70 percent of all African-American births are out of wedlock and over 85 percent of African-American children will spend some years of their childhood without a father in the home.
2)There are too many black men in jail. Guess what? At the end of 2002, blacks constituted 45.1 percent of the total prison population (with an incarceration rate more than seven times greater than whites)
3)Not enough black men are in college. Guess what? Black Women are Earning College Degrees at Twice the Rate of Black Men

Like Judge Mathis says,” it’s not slander if what you are saying is true.” I don’t believe it helps to sweep issues in the black community under the rug. “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.”
Well? While it may be true. Is it something we need to discuss amongst ourselves to enact positive change? Or do we continue to open the door for whites to put us further under the microscope to dissect us?
I always thought black women out numbered black men, which is why college enrollment was higher for black women?

Lynching of the black man to me is when we sit up on national TV and make claims that these are the reasons we decided to look elsewhere for a mate. So my question is if black mean ain't shyt what does that make you (not you specifically)?
 
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I understand your point that the white man has planted such a seed, but I beg to ask, why are the black men so highly effected by this and black women are not. This being displayed in the stats of IR's.

Second, I understand also that black people are effected more by the problems which hit America holisitically. But still, we never get to the why? Why is there an "it's all about me" attitude that you say black men possess? That question was never really answered.:nono:

Are you questions addressed to me? Not sure. I want to know the "why" as well. Why is it that black women--who I think are even more affected by mainstream standards of beauty--generally still stick by black men and want to have healthy relationships with them, while black men stray? The "all about me" exists in society as a whole, but I think as men, black men have never really attained a level of authority or status as the white man. Perhaps it is because, for some reason, black men haven't been the heads of households and black women have. The pursuit of materialism gets them on par with white men in that they have attained that status. A relationship with white women also says to white men: "see, I am equal to you. I even have your women." I think this process is highly psychological. Why black women have not been affected in similar ways I'm not entirely sure. Note: I'm not saying that ALL black men who are with white women think this way, but I do wonder if some of that psychological processing takes place.
 
Well? While it may be true. Is it something we need to discuss amongst ourselves to enact positive change? Or do we continue to open the door for whites to put us further under the microscope to dissect us?
I always thought black women out numbered black men, which is why college enrollment was higher for black women?

Lynching of the black man to me is when we sit up on national TV and make claims that these are the reasons we decided to look elsewhere for a mate. So my question is if black mean ain't shyt what does that make you (not you specifically)?

I see what you’re saying. But to be honest black men have been disgracing black women in the media for years. Calling us all kinds of b#tches, h#es, and gold diggers (which is ironic considering we make more money, and are more educated). What have black men in this country been doing to change? I haven’t seen any dialogue about the statistics since the Million Man March. And the numbers aren’t getting any better. They have to want to change. Black women can’t do it for them.
 
Example:
Suspose we have 100,000 people in prison: 80% white and 20% black.
Suppose that the blacks make up 10% of the U.S. population (1,000,000).
Then 80,000 of 900,000 whites are in prison and 20,000 of the 100,000 blacks are in prison.
.08 of whites
.20 of blacks
1 out of every 5 blacks are in prison.
1 out of every 11 whites are in prison.
This says blacks are more than twice as likely to go to prison than whites.
THese are all fake figures. I wanted to show how population size is important when making comparisons.


Yes, the seed was planted long before I was born. What to do? What can we do? We can support and build up our black males? (oh, we are already doing that) We can pray and fast and accept/adopt lower standards? (oh, yeah, we are already doing that. I really don't think there is anything a woman can do. Men have to lead this movement to save other men.

You're right. We must always go beyond the numbers to ask why. In proportion to our population numbers, far too many of us are jobless and poor, on welfare and have child(ren) out of wedlock. While it is true that there more white people on welfare, in poverty, etc., there is also too many of us in the same boat which is far too high a rate for our population.
 
I see what you’re saying. But to be honest black men have been disgracing black women in the media for years. Calling us all kinds of b#tches, h#es, and gold diggers (which is ironic considering we make more money, and are more educated). What have black men in this country been doing to change? I haven’t seen any dialogue about the statistics since the Million Man March. And the numbers aren’t getting any better. They have to want to change. Black women can’t do it for them.
Why you bring up the million man march? Gurl Gurrrl:rolleyes:
Thankfully I have to change my son's poppy diaper...Which kinda reminds of of that march

Later
 
I see what you’re saying. But to be honest black men have been disgracing black women in the media for years. Calling us all kinds of b#tches, h#es, and gold diggers (which is ironic considering we make more money, and are more educated). What have black men in this country been doing to change? I haven’t seen any dialogue about the statistics since the Million Man March. And the numbers aren’t getting any better. They have to want to change. Black women can’t do it for them.

I agree. I'm so tired of people (even black women themselves) placing the FULL blame on black women for our social and economic problems. For the most part, black women have always held down the family. We have always been at the forefront of political movements, yes, including both the Civil Rights Movement and the Women's Rights Movement. However, we NEVER received the accolade and recognition that we rightfully deserve. And then what? Despite the way we are continuously portrayed in the media, despite being blamed for the entire black community's problems, despite being disrespected by some hip-hop artists, and despite being ignored and virtually made invisible concerning our problems and needs...we STILL remain loyal to black men! We blame Anita Hill. We blame Desiree (Mike Tyson). We blame all the black women and point fingers at ourselves when black men get into trouble. And yet, despite all of our loyalty and dedication to black men, they can't wait to run off to Becky and Sarah! NOT ALL BLACK MEN DO THIS!! NOT ALL BLACK MEN ARE BAD!! NOT ALL BLACK MEN ARE TRIFLING!! NOT ALL BLACK MEN ARE SHIFTLESS!! NOT ALL BLACK MEN WANT WHITE WOMEN!!

But please...let's be honest, we have failed as a community to school and educate our black men on how to properly treat the black woman. How to respect the black woman. How to honor the black woman. That is the God's honest truth. But some of us are so blinded by their loyalty to black men that they can't wait to place the blame at the feet of black women and the white society at large that they have forgotten about OUR needs!! I swear, black women are the hardest on other black women... Black women have needs, too! We have wants! We want to be loved and respected, too!! We want to be desired and to feel sexy. We have feelings, too! But all too often we are willing to give up our needs and wants to serve and be loyal to black men. There's nothing wrong with that, but dayuumm...can we give ourselves a freakin' break?! Four hundred years of taking care of our families. Don't ya'll think that we deserve a break?

I think that's the piece in this entire thread that's missing. The discussion always turns to badgering black men or heralding white people. What about the needs of black women? Isn't that what this discussion is about??!!?? I don't care what anyone says: if a man happens to come into my life who treats me with love, honor, respect...and he just happens to be white...I'm not going to dump on him just because he's white. I'm out for my own happiness. If he happens to be black, it's all good, too! :yep: But I'm not going to just settle for some guy who treats me like shyt just to say that I have someone in my life. There are too many lovely black women who settle because they don't want to be alone. That is a tragedy on so many levels.
 
Why you bring up the million man march? Gurl Gurrrl:rolleyes:
Thankfully I have to change my son's poppy diaper...Which kinda reminds of of that march

Later

I was there at the Million Man March in D.C. in 1995. It was a gorgeous day. White people lost their minds. My evening classes were canceled because my white professors didn't want to come to the city. Racist f*cks! I thought that the guys weren't going to allow me to join them, but they did. I've never seen so many gorgeous black men in one place in all my life...well, except for Freak Nick in Atlanta in the early '90s. But after that day, sadly, we went back to black on black crime. We back to the regular disrespect of black men, themselves and their families. Nothing really changed after the MMM. And they tried to do a 10 year anniversary last year and the number of men who showed up was pathetic.:nono:
 
I was there at the Million Man March in D.C. in 1995. It was a gorgeous day. White people lost their minds. My evening classes were canceled because my white professors didn't want to come to the city. Racist f*cks! I thought that the guys weren't going to allow me to join them, but they did. I've never seen so many gorgeous black men in one place in all my life...well, except for Freak Nick in Atlanta in the early '90s. But after that day, sadly, we went back to black on black crime. We back to the regular disrespect of black men, themselves and their families. Nothing really changed after the MMM. And they tried to do a 10 year anniversary last year and the number of men who showed up was pathetic.:nono:
I was one of the smart arse nay sayers of that march that wanted to know what the hell they were going to do after the march? Or did they all want a reason to take a road trip:perplexedThat march was a sham. The premise wasn't, but the lack of participation later:perplexed

I use to work heavily in my community setting up science and math camps vs. BB camps and such. I haven't been up to much lately too busy, but it just makes me wonder?
 
Example:
Suspose we have 100,000 people in prison: 80% white and 20% black.
Suppose that the blacks make up 10% of the U.S. population (1,000,000).
Then 80,000 of 900,000 whites are in prison and 20,000 of the 100,000 blacks are in prison.
.08 of whites
.20 of blacks
1 out of every 5 blacks are in prison.
1 out of every 11 whites are in prison.
This says blacks are more than twice as likely to go to prison than whites.
THese are all fake figures. I wanted to show how population size is important when making comparisons.


Yes, the seed was planted long before I was born. What to do? What can we do? We can support and build up our black males? (oh, we are already doing that) We can pray and fast and accept/adopt lower standards? (oh, yeah, we are already doing that. I really don't think there is anything a woman can do. Men have to lead this movement to save other men.

Let's look at these numbers again in your example:
US population 1,000,000
Whites 90% of population or 900,000
Blacks 10% of population or 100,000
Incarcerated population 1% or 100,000
80% or 80,000 of incarcerated are white
20% or 20,000 or incarcerated are black

20% of the black population is incarcerated
8% of the white population is incarcerated

Delp, I don't know what you mean about fake figures. The issue here and in the real US statistics is that blacks make up 10% of the total population and 20% of the incarcerated population.
 
Let's look at these numbers again in your example:
US population 1,000,000
Whites 90% of population or 900,000
Blacks 10% of population or 100,000
Incarcerated population 1% or 100,000
80% or 80,000 of incarcerated are white
20% or 20,000 or incarcerated are black

20% of the black population is incarcerated
8% of the white population is incarcerated

Delp, I don't know what you mean about fake figures. The issue here and in the real US statistics is that blacks make up 10% of the total population and 20% of the incarcerated population.

I was just trying to show how population size is important when making comparisons. I used some fake numbers to illustrate the point. Nothing more, Nothing less. Anyway, I am tired of seeing treads like this. I wish there was something I can do. I feel soo powerless. I hate that feeling. I feel for mothers raising black boys. What do you tell them? I was just reading JamaicanGurl's post and I honest don't know what to say. I agree with her but I, like many women, am disgusted with the plight of the african american family unit. Maybe I have to give up such ideas (maybe african american families are a thing of the past-soo passe). Yes, we can blame "the man" (social structure ) but black women seem to be more resilient than black males. Why so? Is it true that the male strength come from women and women are innately stronger. I don't like bashing men nor women. I consider myself a nurturer but something is wrong here. :wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash:
 
My response in bolded red:

I agree with this, but there are a few things I disagree with. I also want to add some thoughts.

You said: We should be equally appalled that the majority of IR are black men/white women. That's not the White Man's fault.

I say: It's not the White Man's fault...Directly. But trust, the White man has planted a seed that Black is not beautiful or enough. So over the time since we've been here, we've always tried (as a people, not individually) to be enough, and for some, that's with white!

My response: Indeed the white power structure and the lingering effects of white priviledge, discrimination and bigotry has definitely had a detrimental, nearly catatrosphic impact on the stability of the black family. I think the economic structure has contributed to this indirectly. However, what conditions existed during one of the most turbulent times in our history--the 1950's and 1960's--that explain why, despite these trying times, black families remained intact? The breakdown of the black family after this period is indirectly related to the loss of manufacturing and semi-skilled jobs that left the cities in the '70s and into the '80s. But mental slavery that affects ideals and standards of beauty still doesn't answer the question for why black families remained pretty much intact, with two-parent families until perhaps the 70s and 80s. My guess is that both economic and cultural impacts were prevalent even during those times. But there is something much deeper at work here than just saying that beauty concepts has gotten us to this point. I think some of that definitely is happening. But I also think that many of us have grown in our awareness of these issues that we would be able to pinpoint cultural racism enough to combat it. I don't think black men necessarily find white women more physically beautiful. There's some of that, but another aspect is that in my experience, black men who want white women see some economic and cultural advantage for pursuing them. Quite frankly, in my discussions with black men, many of them see the white woman as an escape from certain personal responsibilities, i.e., the white woman's tolerance for black male self interests. As I understand it, there are black men with white women who will break their necks to check out an attractive sister or find black women attractive.

You said: If only 30% of black families are intact and together, the natural inclination is to want to understand why that is. Sure they could highlight that 30%, but for me as a researcher I would want to know why that 30% exists. There's a reason why nearly 70% of black women will never marry. As for me, I want to be in that 30% whether I marry a white, black, purple, green or blue. Why should I have to remain in the 70% waiting on a black man who may not want me anyway?

I say: I agree that there's a huge problem with the fact that only 30% of black women are married, and only 30% of black families are intact. However, I think the answer to this has less to do with race, and more to do with values. We live in a country where more than half the population that marries will divorce (no matter what the race of the spouses are). That's just not happening everywhere in the world. And there's a reason for it. Our society does not value marriage and family like it used to, and Blacks are the hardest hit by this reality. Likewise, there could be more Black marriages, IMO, if people were more willing to marry. Some of the black men who could marry don't, b/c they don't have to. Instead of SOME of them having the attitude, "let's make it better for the generation ahead," they have an "I'm the man, and I don't have to settle down attitude," and this hurts everyone in the end. I'm not blaming Black men for all of the race's problems, but the "all about me" attitude is what harms the modern American family, Black, White, purple or green, IMO!

My Reponse: On this we wholeheartedly agree! :clapping: Again, I gave the example of the Washington Post article that I posted earlier. It does point out that there is an overall shift in the paradigm on the value of marriage. People are prolonging marriage for whatever reason. Perhaps that affects the value we place on it. In this materialistic, capitalist society, everyone is out for themselves and this is a dog-eat-dog world. But like I said earlier, the problems of the larger, mainstream society, affect minorities to a much greater extent. Someone once said that when white society catches a cold, the black community battles the flu. So now we have this crisis of declining black family and what are we going to do about it? Blame it on the larger societal structure or begin to reexamine our own role in this madness? There is something really wrong when young black children believe that marriage, education, the American Dream is reserved for whites. I'm not sure if I can or want to blame that mentality on mainstream society.

Serenity, I love your mind!!!! I agree with your post in total. I would only add that I think integration was a variable that led to the disintegration of the intact black family and community. Pre-integration, black-owned businesses were a necessity. The strong black-owned business infrastructure slowly crumbled as we progressed through integration and entree into previously restricted employment. We no longer sought entrepreneurship, we wanted to work for IBM and Ford and Chrysler.
 
I was just trying to show how population size is important when making comparisons. I used some fake numbers to illustrate the point. Nothing more, Nothing less. Anyway, I am tired of seeing treads like this. I wish there was something I can do. I feel soo powerless. I hate that feeling. I feel for mothers raising black boys. What do you tell them? I was just reading JamaicanGurl's post and I honest don't know what to say. I agree with her but I, like many women, am disgusted with the plight of the african american family unit. Maybe I have to give up such ideas (maybe african american families are a thing of the past-soo passe). Yes, we can blame "the man" (social structure ) but black women seem to be more resilient than black males. Why so? Is it true that the male strength come from women and women are innately stronger. I don't like bashing men nor women. I consider myself a nurturer but something is wrong here. :wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash::wallbash:

Delp, I feel your frustration. I was just a little confused because you correctly posted the cite that detailed the issue which is one of proportion. We constitute X% of the population and Y% of the incarcerated population which is the problem. I don't get where you are going with population size in this instance but since you posted the real stats and the issue for the ladies who wish to read it, no need to beat it to death.
 
My response in bolded red:



Serenity, I love your mind!!!! I agree with your post in total. I would only add that I think integration was a variable that led to the disintegration of the intact black family and community. Pre-integration, black-owned businesses were a necessity. The strong black-owned business infrastructure slowly crumbled as we progressed through integration and entree into previously restricted employment. We no longer sought entrepreneurship, we wanted to work for IBM and Ford and Chrysler.

You sound like my father. Born and raised in Atlanta. Marched as a young man with MLK and was very active in the Civil Rights Movement (sit-ins, boycotts, etc.). But he became disillusioned after the 60s. We talk a lot. (YES, HE'S A WONDERFUL BLACK MAN AND I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE HIM AS A DAD!!! :clapping:.) He always said that the worst thing for the black man was integration. When we were segregated as least we looked out for one another. We had a strong community of doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc. They were just as good...even better...than the white communities professionals. That social network was intact. But when integration came along, the black community adopted this "looking out for me" attitude. No other ethnic group has attained status and success, leaving the lesser of their communities behind. The Jews come to my mind. The black community is the ONLY ethnic minority that--when a few made it big--left the rest of the community behind. It's so sad. And according to my father, integration did more damage than it did good.:nono::wallbash:
 
I was there at the Million Man March in D.C. in 1995. It was a gorgeous day. White people lost their minds. My evening classes were canceled because my white professors didn't want to come to the city. Racist f*cks! I thought that the guys weren't going to allow me to join them, but they did. I've never seen so many gorgeous black men in one place in all my life...well, except for Freak Nick in Atlanta in the early '90s. But after that day, sadly, we went back to black on black crime. We back to the regular disrespect of black men, themselves and their families. Nothing really changed after the MMM. And they tried to do a 10 year anniversary last year and the number of men who showed up was pathetic.:nono:

I remember my elementary teacher was like, "There wasn't even a million men." I guess he was trying to devalue the fact that black men came together like, "See, you can't even do this right.":nono:
 
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