More Black Women Consider 'Dating Out' (article)

[JamericanGurl]

No they are not, they are showing that Black women are starting to be able to free themselves from burdens, taboos and stereotypes just like Black men have.

Black men dating out is in many cases an openminded action whereby they see someone they like and go for it. With Black women and sexism that hits all females, we dont get those same privilages of openmindedness without iminent threat of the Black card/Black loyalty/backbone to the Black race being revoked.

Even as a person who grew up around all White people I had some serious guilt issues with IR, sometimes you dont even know until you are in the situation.

Happiness is paramount, I still love Black men and I dont think that will ever change. Thats why I dont tell Black women to go out with White men, its about trying to find someone who you feel compatible with but if you dont come into contact with the desired dont be afraid to accept love from other races.

I'm sorry but what?
All this article did was reinforce the negative about black males. I could give a rat left nut about some sorry *** excuses as to why you date or marry. Cuz quite frankly there should be no excuse for falling in love. You love who you love spare me the BS. because you don't need to defend or validate who you love.

So, in closing I'd like to say if your having a problem finding something...that's anything in particular...Maybe the problem is you!

 

[seraphim712]

I don't think is is healthy or productive for us to blame the demise of the black family on slavery. IMO, the last thing black people need to do is look for an excuse. We are way to good at that.

It's not the slavery that the blame should be put on (unless out of nowhere it starts to happen again...)

Honestly I think that black people should blame themselves for giving up so quickly during the civil rights era. It seemed as if after Dr. King was assassinated, and the government started hollering peace (just so there wouldn't be a huge racial war here) was when that generation of black people started getting 'too' comfortable instead of picking up where Dr. King left off. JMO

 

[hennagirl]

It's not the slavery that the blame should be put on (unless out of nowhere it starts to happen again...)

Honestly I think that black people should blame themselves for giving up so quickly during the civil rights era. It seemed as if after Dr. King was assassinated, and the government started hollering peace (just so there wouldn't be a huge racial war here) was when that generation of black people started getting 'too' comfortable instead of picking up where Dr. King left off. JMO

Thank you seraphim. As I stated in my original post I think our foremothers and forefathers weep for the educational opportunities we have thrown away. In the times of slavery, they risked their very lives to learn to read and someone born to mandatory education actually stated that both parents were more likely to be with the child during slavery. My people, my people, the library is free.

 

[UmSumayyah]

You're absolutely right, it shouldn't be.

If I'm the first casualty that's fine, I'll take my bullet unblindfoled. All I know is I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life and he treats me like a princess.

Fire when ready.

Like anybody here is stupid enough to step to you. At least, in real life.

 

[UmSumayyah]

I wish they would stop telling people thar IR relationships are this easy. WTF? You're not just balancing two cultures, you're balancing two different races... hello???

I'm not understanding this statement.

 

[UmSumayyah]

By the way....

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I'm not understanding this statement.

Its hards to focus on your relationship, and deal with the everyday pressures of being a couple. Then, you have to factor in race relations, society's viewpoints, your family's viewpoints. It can get very exhausting, but these articles only show you the pretty picture wrapped in a bow. If you think that its all rosy and flowers, all day long, and its easier to function with a white man than dealing with the disgruntled black man.... dead wrong. There will be moments when you, as a partner in an IR couple, will have to question your own understanding of your partner's race and vice-versa. Its not a quick fix like the articles portray it to be.

 

[JamericanGurl]

By the way....

Take it a step further and place a personal ad for his arse

 

[naijamerican]

The point im trying to make is if yes, good balck men are scarce, but at the same time, find love first in whoever it is regardless of color cuz from what i see alot of people get with other races cuz they are sick of their own, have complexes, see that one is easier than the other, or want their kids to look a certain way. I just wish for once i oculd hear, I love this man/ woman and shes is great for (insert personality reasons here) and not all the other bull crap.

*steps off soap box*

Kurlee (and Honey on page 5, #44), I totally and completely agree. If every Black man is locked up, I will not weep for my future because this is a glorious time to be a Black woman. Twenty years ago we would not even be debating the issue of interracial dating. Yeah, that's not that long ago, but it's true. We can go to school, get degrees, be with whoever we want.

Hence, if I choose to date a White man or an Asian man it will surely not be because it's the last resort; it will not be due to the dearth of eligible Black men. What saddened me about this article (and the underlying sentiment that I see a lot of times in discussions about BW dating outside of the race) is that the women interviewed were like, "Well, Black men don't want me. Guess I'll start checking for Todd." No way Jose, I'm not going out like that. I refuse to date/marry for such reasons - I refuse to be enslaved to the notion that I HAVE to expand my horizons JUST BECAUSE Black men are rejecting me. Why? Because God has already expanded them by virtue of allowing me to live in this day and time and providing me with options, by showing me that real men come in all shapes and shades and sizes. Don't get me wrong: I haven't given up on Black love for me, and frankly, my prince charming does have dark skin, but I refuse to be wedded to any ideals of who I should or shouldn't be with because the quality of a man is more important than the inside.

I know that one day I will have to face God and be accountable for my decisions. I strongly suspect that the last thing He'll be asking me is whether I liked my man White or Dark chocolate. I sometimes wonder, does this even matter in the whole scheme of things?

 

[mahogany]

I'm sorry but what?
All this article did was reinforce the negative about black males. I could give a rat left nut about some sorry *** excuses as to why you date or marry. Cuz quite frankly there should be no excuse for falling in love. You love who you love spare me the BS. because you don't need to defend or validate who you love.

So, in closing I'd like to say if your having a problem finding something...that's anything in particular...Maybe the problem is you!

I agree wholeheartedly! I am getting so damn tired of seeing articles like this!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I've been saying this much all along, but noooooooo, they said there are not alot of BM's like that. When in fact there are. FAR to many. They severly overwhelm the suitably postured .

1. Black men are QUICKER than any other race of men, to date someone outside their race. "...Nearly three quarters of the 403,000 black-white couples in 2006 involved black husbands." That means that of all the interracial marraiges, black men married to someone other than us black women, make up 75%. Now, I wonder the number of WHITE men that are married to BLACK females? Exactly. They stick by their own mostly.
2. Black men have a high rate of unemployment. "....They're nearly seven times more likely to be incarcerated than white men and more than twice as likely to be unemployed." Were not talking our fathers and uncles, they came from the admirable breed. I'm talking our age BM's. To many of them are lazy and create a negative stigma on the few who accomplish and work hard. The lazy,smokin crack, watchin you're house while you're at work type is messing it up for alot of us.
3. Black men are not reaching for achievement or goals. "...low rates of black men in college." "...In 2004, 26.5 percent of black males ages 18 to 24 were enrolled in college versus 36.5 percent of black women that age, according to the American Council on Education's most recent statistics." If there are 2.65 million BMs in college and 3.65 million BW's in college, that yields 1.00 million Black females without a financially compatible mate(in most cases). Thats alot of girls.....something to think about........that leads to.....
4. "Black women are refusing to comply with that message about just find yourself a good blue-collar man with a job, or just find a black man," Some BM's have decided not to settle. They dont want to get married to the guy who's 40 yrs old and lived with mama since birth. Or the guy practicing Buidism and she's a Christian. Or the guy who's known for being a classic, well seasoned ho around town. Or the one with 3 kids by 11 baby mama's, who wants him? When he comes to your table, he brings to many ppl !
5. There are few decent BM's worth dating or marrying. "...If I was only meeting one guy a year, or every few years, that wasn't going to happen." The Alabama author eventually married white. "I think a lot of black women are realizing or feeling that the pickings are slim," she said. They're made even slimmer, grumble many black women, by
6. When BMs who are decent and aspire for greater attainment, become rich or famous or a certain "status", they reach for what they feel is better than their counterpart, the BW, they reach for anything NOT Black. I wanted to get married (and) have children," she said. "...high rates of successful black men choosing blondes. For some, they argue, white wives are the ultimate status symbol."

You guys know I tell the truth. It's just the thruth. And Black women are so used to sticking by their men, most didnt want to admit to alot of what I've said. But hey, stick your head in the sand. Being in denial about reality have never a success make. Success in acquiring a relationship, getting married, having the kids or the white picket fence.

As Oprah so eloquently and ..."cautiously"...put it, "....the numbers are off. For my friends who have been waiting to date a black men, and they continue to wait, the numbers are off." 70% -75% of Black females are not married. And of the ones I KNOW that are ? Only about 2% have males that are worth it. The rest have either settled with anything (OH the DRAMA !) a few have left their husbands (even with 3 or more KIDS!!!) b/c he became to unbearable with the cheating and disrespect.

Sad.

I will be hated for what I'm about to say, but you speak the TRUTH, ThicknLong! You truly do. People who will read the above points will deny this TRUTH or make accusations of self-hatred. I am 35 years old, going on 36. I refuse to spend the rest of my life searching hopelessly for that black man who will:

1. Treat me right, not has his slave but as his equal; 2. Not want to date outside his race; 3. Won't have a problem with my education, status, salary and think that I'm trying to emasculate him just because I'm successful; 4. Take care of his child(ren); 5. Is NOT in jail or involved in the justice system in some way, shape or form; 6. Is NOT gay or on the DL (D.C. ladies you know what I mean!); 7. Is romantic; 8. Has a decent job and is financially secure; 9. Is spiritually sound; 10. Wants to be married and have a family...is not a commitment phobe.

I will not give up on black men, but I refuse to sit around waiting for one with the aforementioned qualities (not exactly in order). If I date outside of my race (white, Hispanic, Asian, etc.), he must demonstrate that he has these qualities as well. But no, I cannot and refuse to put my life on hold waiting for that magical black man that may or may not exist, come into my life...or any man for that matter.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

This makes me sad too. But I think there is some truth behind it. The way black men and women seem to openly argue about the 'state of the black union/family', it sure points to us being sick and tired of each other and looking elsewhere for love.

For the most part, we can blame the White Power Structure and this institutionalized system of racial oppression and bigotry. "The Man" has succeeded in diving black families, whether he realizes it or not--whether intentional or not. This had been the plan all along and it has succeeded. But some of the responsibility lies with us...the black community. The black man has been demonized and castigated since the beginning of our existence. The black women has been denigrated to the lowest levels of human experience. But we've fed into that and have perpetuated this problem with how we treat one another. Why can't the black community be strong enough to address these problems openly and honestly and begin the healing between black women and men? And now the fact that there seems to be this lopsided situation with successful black women seeking like partners but there not being enough of black male counterparts, is now the reality we face. But that's the reality. And black women like me who want families, who want to be married in healthy, loving relationships are choosing to open up their options and look elsewhere. I don't have a problem at all with this article. It speaks truth to power, and as long as we do not face that truth, then we are doomed to make things worse.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I agree that the negatives associated with blacks always receive media attention - this is the US. However, just because the issues get more media attention doesn't mean they are false. There are problems in every community. The problems in other communities do not receive the same attention. So what, we need to stop with pointing out that Todd and Becky have problems too and look at Tyrone and Ruby.

Reminds me of that Chris Rock joke when he was saying that we can't allow ourselves the excuse of being "fucced up" just because whites are "fucced up" too. According to Chris, "we need to do our own thing and not give a fucc about them." He is right. I get tired of hearing white women complain about how there aren't any good men around and trying to compare their situation with mine. The experiences are totally different. For every social problem that the white community experiences, that same same social ill is magnified tenfold in the black community.

 

[Lebiya]

Kurlee (and Honey on page 5, #44), I totally and completely agree. If every Black man is locked up, I will not weep for my future because this is a glorious time to be a Black woman. Twenty years ago we would not even be debating the issue of interracial dating. Yeah, that's not that long ago, but it's true. We can go to school, get degrees, be with whoever we want.

Hence, if I choose to date a White man or an Asian man it will surely not be because it's the last resort; it will not be due to the dearth of eligible Black men. What saddened me about this article (and the underlying sentiment that I see a lot of times in discussions about BW dating outside of the race) is that the women interviewed were like, "Well, Black men don't want me. Guess I'll start checking for Todd." No way Jose, I'm not going out like that. I refuse to date/marry for such reasons - I refuse to be enslaved to the notion that I HAVE to expand my horizons JUST BECAUSE Black men are rejecting me. Why? Because God has already expanded them by virtue of allowing me to live in this day and time and providing me with options, by showing me that real men come in all shapes and shades and sizes. Don't get me wrong: I haven't given up on Black love for me, and frankly, my prince charming does have dark skin, but I refuse to be wedded to any ideals of who I should or shouldn't be with because the quality of a man is more important than the inside.

I know that one day I will have to face God and be accountable for my decisions. I strongly suspect that the last thing He'll be asking me is whether I liked my man White or Dark chocolate. I sometimes wonder, does this even matter in the whole scheme of things?

**ITA!!!!!**

 

[JamericanGurl]

Okay then take a looksey at these #'s
http://www.oas.samhsa.gov/2k5/menDualTX/menDualTX.cfm
http://www.oas.samhsa.gov/NHSDA/A-11/WrkplcPlcy2-17.htm

The serial killer statistics -​

• The USA has 76% of the worlds serial killers.​
• Europe in second, has 17%. England has produced 28% of the European total; Germany produces 27%, and France produces 13%.​

• California leads in the US with the most Serial Homicide cases that have occured. Texas, New York, Illinois, and Florida follow shortly behind.

• Maine has the lowest occurence of serial murders - none. Hawaii, Montana, North Dakota, Delaware, and Vermont each have had only one case of a serial murder.

• 84% of American killers are caucasian.​
• 16% are black.​
• Men make up at least 90% of the world wide total of serial killers.​
• 65% of victims are female.​
• 89% of victims are white.​
• 44% of all killers start in their twenties.​
• 26% start in their teens.​
• 24% start in their thirties.

• Out of all the killers, 86% are heterosexual

Do you think this make white women give up on there own?

I've yet to see one Becky use any of this as an excuse for why she's dating Tyrone

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Hmmm, I guess I didnt make my point well. It's not about who's lonely. It's about the state of our men and the community. I know I will voice my opinion bout how triflin I see some of our men act as long as I keep seeing them act triflin and not doing any better. I for one, cant make a grow black man do better. Can you? Maybe you can, but I cant change him.

He has to want to change himself.
I only speak of what I see. And the sad part is the stats say the same. But some of the single black women who dont want to face it, will not agree, ignore it or state something against it.

As another thread so correctly stated, some of the MARRIED black women will make allusions to what the single or lonesome black women should do. KNOWING they see many black females alllllll around them, all day errday, single because of how the men have let the community down and not played their part. And of MANY who are married, well, they come on here on the REGULAR, so it cant be on and poppin THAT well.

Again, just telling it like i see it.

But...but, its all fine in the black community. All the problems and pitfalls are no ones fault. Its the lonely womans fault, thats it. Not the men. Or better yet, no ones fault.

I think that's a much more "likeable" answer. And since its no ones fault, we dont need to discuss it. Or if we do, and it's no ones fault, we will come up with no answers.

You know why? Because the root of the problem has not been identified. And the issue, has been swept under the rug, ala "....how many times can we say its their fault"...."...if u keep finding bad black men, its you"...know MOST of the females on LHCF and most black women have found almost ALOT of bad black men...that's one reason why they are single. They dont wanna settle and I KEEP going back to Oprah.."they are waiting on black men and they will keep waiting...". I know Lady O aint wrong.

But, all is well within our community.

That mentality got us to where we are today.

Dying. And dead.

Girl, you better speak on it!

Listen, I know many black women (including myself) who did EVERYTHING right by society's standards. We stayed in school. Did well. Didn't become a statistic by having kids out of wedlock. Some of us worked very hard to earn advanced degrees. We own homes. And on top of all that, the most important thing are that we are GOOD women! We do things for ourselves, too. We hang out with family and friends. We are active in our communities. We travel. We read. We cook. And we look after the family. Many of us have remained single for a long time. I myself have been single for over 7 years. So, tell me again why that's MY fault? I really hate it when black women are blamed for their plight in life. It's certainly not fair to us, especially when we did all the right things. All we are asking for is the happiness that we seek and deserve. We all know how to be single. We know how to date. What's wrong with wanting a wholesome relationship with a kind, loving man to share in our successes and to make our life partners? It's true that I hear a lot of the chastizing coming from women who are either dating or married. They simply do not understand the things that we single women go through. Sure, I'm happy with myself. I love myself. But I see nothing wrong with wanting to be married with children, a family.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Okay then take a looksey at these #'s
http://www.oas.samhsa.gov/2k5/menDualTX/menDualTX.cfm
http://www.oas.samhsa.gov/NHSDA/A-11/WrkplcPlcy2-17.htm

The serial killer statistics -​

• The USA has 76% of the worlds serial killers.​
• Europe in second, has 17%. England has produced 28% of the European total; Germany produces 27%, and France produces 13%.​

• California leads in the US with the most Serial Homicide cases that have occured. Texas, New York, Illinois, and Florida follow shortly behind.

• Maine has the lowest occurence of serial murders - none. Hawaii, Montana, North Dakota, Delaware, and Vermont each have had only one case of a serial murder.

• 84% of American killers are caucasian.​
• 16% are black.​
• Men make up at least 90% of the world wide total of serial killers.​
• 65% of victims are female.​
• 89% of victims are white.​
• 44% of all killers start in their twenties.​
• 26% start in their teens.​
• 24% start in their thirties.

• Out of all the killers, 86% are heterosexual

Do you think this make white women give up on there own?

I've yet to see one Becky use any of this as an excuse for why she's dating Tyrone

Nah, they say stuff like "white guys are boring," and that they've been oppressed by white males whereas black guys understand oppression, having also been under the rule of white men, so black guys treat them better.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Nah, they say stuff like "white guys are boring," and that they've been oppressed by white males whereas black guys understand oppression, having also been under the rule of white men, so black guys treat them better.

I've witnessed this kind of sentiment straight from the mouths of white women who actively seek out black men. It's funny because black men think that white women will inherently treat them better (i.e., let them get away with all kinds of shyt), while black women won't. And the white women I know who actively pursue black men do tend to feel that white men aren't virile, masculine or exciting enough (read: sexually speaking). Just as many of them give in to the stereotypes about black men as the other way around. In my experience, I hear nothing about love or the act of falling in love. It's generally about the "excitement" of being with a black man, and oftentimes to defy their family. Again, this has been my experience.

 

[JamericanGurl]

Nah, they say stuff like "white guys are boring," and that they've been oppressed by white males whereas black guys understand oppression, having also been under the rule of white men, so black guys treat them better.

do they usually look like her?

 

[seraphim712]

I'm really confused about the whole situation:


I'll give a scenario:

My SO (who is black) and I were coming out of the mall going to the car. As we were heading towards the parking lot, a well dressed IR couple (white man and black woman) steps out a nice SUV/ Escalade I think it was. The white man didn't pay us no mind, but I noticed the black woman kept staring at us, her eyes darting back and forth between us. She kept staring at my SO and then me and turned up her nose ( I guess she didn't know that we saw her do that since we don't stare at people like she was). I don't know if it was because we were holding hands or if we didn't look as fabulous as she and her SO did (I know that probably sounds rediculous...)

I happen to notice this time and time again: Why is it everytime a nice black couple strolls by somewhere, negative comments and looks are made. From my viewpoint and experience, these negative comments targeted toward the black couple (esp. the woman in that relationship) are made by other black women. Like I said, I witnessed this myself. I'm not saying that men don't do the same thing, but it seems like when a single black mans sees a black couple going strong it gives them motivation and encouragement to do the same; they give encouraging comments and ask how they can go about doing the same thing. It just seems like when a black relationship is going strong a stronger force tries to break it up...

 

[lexi08]

I'm really confused about the whole situation:


I'll give a scenario:

My SO (who is black) and I were coming out of the mall going to the car. As we were heading towards the parking lot, a well dressed IR couple (white man and black woman) steps out a nice SUV/ Escalade I think it was; was a white man and a black woman. The white man didn't pay us no mind, but I noticed the black woman kept staring at us, her eyes darting back and forth between us. She kept staring at my SO and then me and turned up her nose ( I guess she didn't know that we saw her do that since we don't stare at people like she was). I don't know if it was because we were holding hands or if we didn't look as fabulous as she and her SO did (I know that probably sounds rediculous...)

I happen to notice this time and time again: Why is it everytime a nice black couple strolls by somewhere, negative comments and looks are made. From my viewpoint and experience, these negative comments targeted toward the black couple (esp. the woman in that relationship) are made by other black women. Like I said, I witnessed this myself. I'm not saying that men don't do the same thing, but it seems like when a single black mans sees a black couple going strong it gives them motivation and encouragement to do the same; they give encouraging comments and ask how they can go about doing the same thing. It just seems like when a black relationship is going strong a stronger force tries to break it up...

I have noticed that I get those looks also from time to time, when I am with my SO. He is black. They start grinning or staring at him and I get the sly sneer or that I don't know why he is with her look

 

[seraphim712]

I have noticed that I get those looks also from time to time, when I am with my SO. He is black. They start grinning or staring at him and I get the sly sneer or that I don't know why he is with her look

That is exactly what I'm talking about!!!!

I just don't get it. And even one time when my SO and I were at the college we go to holding hands, a random black girl said to my SO "can I hold your hand too?" while grabbing for his hand. My SO was looking at her like she was crazy.

The reason why she was doing this is another story for another time though. But it all falls in with what I said earlier.

 

[thatscuteright]

I agree wholeheartedly! I am getting so damn tired of seeing articles like this!

I could not care who or what people date but I really wish they would stop the black male bashing and pitting of black women against black men.
Is it really necessary?
I am so tired of these useless marketing/propoganda articles.
To me that all is they are. These articles are not insightful, or even usefull.
They are useless and only exist to glorify the white race, like everything else.
From its inception, this country has never cared for the black man or black women, nor has it done right by them.
Time and time again, these sort of articles are printed to manifest and show "the troubled black race" and the white saviors, from the school systems to intimate relationships and marriages, black people are seen as a sad lot. According to these articles Black people can't get right unless white people are involved.

When will this rubbish ever stop??????

 

[seraphim712]

I could not care who or what people date but I really wish they would stop the black male bashing and pitting of black women against black men.
Is it really necessary?
I am so tired of these useless marketing/propoganda articles.
To me that all is they are. These articles are not insightful, or even usefull.
They are useless and only exist to glorify the white race, like everything else.
From its inception, this country has never cared for the black man or black women, nor has it done right by them.
Time and time again, these sort of articles are printed to manifest and show "the troubled black race" and the white saviors, from the school systems to intimate relationships and marriages, black people are seen as a sad lot. According to these articles Black people can't get right unless white people are involved.

When will this rubbish ever stop??????

I definately cosign with this.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I might be in the minority but I really do not think that it was the intent of the article to bash black men or make black women feel as if they have no choice but to settle for a white man. One could conceivably read the article in the different way, perhaps to suggest that white men ought to feel bashed because black women would be settling for them; or, possibly that white men are second best only to black men. Afterall, both white and black women desire black men, right? So I suppose that the knife could cut a different way.

I just don't think that there's a conspiratorial effort to diss black men or women. I just think that the article was pointing out what seems to be an alarming phenomena. Bottom line for me: I have to work within the parameters that are given to me. For instance, the fact that there are no professional black men who work with me. The fact that I hate going to bars and meeting people that way. The fact that the neighborhood where I live, there are no black men. And the fact that I live in Washington, D.C. where, regardless of this being a Chocolate City, the odds of me meeting a black man who is single, STRAIGHT, share common interests, have similar lifestyles, etc. are slim to none.

Yes, my eyes and heart are still focused on black men, but because those parameters are already set, the chances are far greater that I will come across men of other races who are in similar circumstances. That's just the reality of it, and I am a realist. If a black man comes along who meets certain qualifications, I'm down for it, but I refuse to put my life on hold waiting hopelessly for him to show up. It's probably not the most popular stance for me to take, but oh well, it's my life and I will do everything possible that's the best for me, including not limiting myself to only dating black men to make others feel more comfortable.

 

[UmSumayyah]

do they usually look like her?

It's just stuff I've read online here and there. I think one may have had a photo but IIRC she was average weight.

People are all kinds of weird. Then there was that woman that published an article on the subject. The interesting thing about her was that she just had to take a dig at "jealous black women," and that she didn't start dating black men until she got older.

 

[cocoberry10]

I'm really confused about the whole situation:


I'll give a scenario:

My SO (who is black) and I were coming out of the mall going to the car. As we were heading towards the parking lot, a well dressed IR couple (white man and black woman) steps out a nice SUV/ Escalade I think it was. The white man didn't pay us no mind, but I noticed the black woman kept staring at us, her eyes darting back and forth between us. She kept staring at my SO and then me and turned up her nose ( I guess she didn't know that we saw her do that since we don't stare at people like she was). I don't know if it was because we were holding hands or if we didn't look as fabulous as she and her SO did (I know that probably sounds rediculous...)

I happen to notice this time and time again: Why is it everytime a nice black couple strolls by somewhere, negative comments and looks are made. From my viewpoint and experience, these negative comments targeted toward the black couple (esp. the woman in that relationship) are made by other black women. Like I said, I witnessed this myself. I'm not saying that men don't do the same thing, but it seems like when a single black mans sees a black couple going strong it gives them motivation and encouragement to do the same; they give encouraging comments and ask how they can go about doing the same thing. It just seems like when a black relationship is going strong a stronger force tries to break it up...

Honestly, I’ve never experienced the bolded. If I’m out with a Black guy, I find other Black people are extremely nice to me and my date/SO. I’ve even had Black people come up to us and say “it’s always nice to see Black love, etc.” And when I see an interracial couple with a Black woman, I’ve never found the woman to give me/my date/SO an attitude. Maybe it’s different ‘round these parts!

 

[cocoberry10]

I have noticed that I get those looks also from time to time, when I am with my SO. He is black. They start grinning or staring at him and I get the sly sneer or that I don't know why he is with her look

That is exactly what I'm talking about!!!!

I just don't get it. And even one time when my SO and I were at the college we go to holding hands, a random black girl said to my SO "can I hold your hand too?" while grabbing for his hand. My SO was looking at her like she was crazy.

The reason why she was doing this is another story for another time though. But it all falls in with what I said earlier.

Okay, Seraphim, I get it now. Yes, I’ve had crazy women do crazy things. But trust me, this isn’t just attributed to a color: I believe this is a woman thing. This happens to my non-Black friends all the time too. It will happen especially if the guy is: (1) good-looking; (2) successful; (3) popular or any combination of the three!

 

[cocoberry10]

I might be in the minority but I really do not think that it was the intent of the article to bash black men or make black women feel as if they have no choice but to settle for a white man. One could conceivably read the article in the different way, perhaps to suggest that white men ought to feel bashed because black women would be settling for them; or, possibly that white men are second best only to black men. Afterall, both white and black women desire black men, right? So I suppose that the knife could cut a different way.

I just don't think that there's a conspiratorial effort to diss black men or women. I just think that the article was pointing out what seems to be an alarming phenomena. Bottom line for me: I have to work within the parameters that are given to me. For instance, the fact that there are no professional black men who work with me. The fact that I hate going to bars and meeting people that way. The fact that the neighborhood where I live, there are no black men. And the fact that I live in Washington, D.C. where, regardless of this being a Chocolate City, the odds of me meeting a black man who is single, STRAIGHT, share common interests, have similar lifestyles, etc. are slim to none.

Yes, my eyes and heart are still focused on black men, but because those parameters are already set, the chances are far greater that I will come across men of other races who are in similar circumstances. That's just the reality of it, and I am a realist. If a black man comes along who meets certain qualifications, I'm down for it, but I refuse to put my life on hold waiting hopelessly for him to show up. It's probably not the most popular stance for me to take, but oh well, it's my life and I will do everything possible that's the best for me, including not limiting myself to only dating black men to make others feel more comfortable.

I do. I definitely find it interesting that these interracial programs or articles never emphasize finding love with other races besides white. It’s like no matter what, white is right. Now, black women are in a situation where they may have to open their options, but this doesn’t necessarily have to be with white men.

 

[delp]

Okay then take a looksey at these #'s
http://www.oas.samhsa.gov/2k5/menDualTX/menDualTX.cfm
http://www.oas.samhsa.gov/NHSDA/A-11/WrkplcPlcy2-17.htm

The serial killer statistics -​

• The USA has 76% of the worlds serial killers.​
• Europe in second, has 17%. England has produced 28% of the European total; Germany produces 27%, and France produces 13%.​

• California leads in the US with the most Serial Homicide cases that have occured. Texas, New York, Illinois, and Florida follow shortly behind.

• Maine has the lowest occurence of serial murders - none. Hawaii, Montana, North Dakota, Delaware, and Vermont each have had only one case of a serial murder.

• 84% of American killers are caucasian.​
• 16% are black.​
• Men make up at least 90% of the world wide total of serial killers.​
• 65% of victims are female.​
• 89% of victims are white.​
• 44% of all killers start in their twenties.​
• 26% start in their teens.​
• 24% start in their thirties.

• Out of all the killers, 86% are heterosexual

Do you think this make white women give up on there own?

I've yet to see one Becky use any of this as an excuse for why she's dating Tyrone

You got to look at the conditional statistics. Of the amount of white males,.... have commited ..... YOu have to consider proportions when making a comparison.