Men Like women who Like themselves

[tiara76]

I've decided after reading this book I have to write something for the wholistically whole woman...becoming, being and dating/loving/relating as a whole being...and for all of those who don't really realize just how super uber important it is to work on the self first and foremost....

This book states alot truths, still some generalizations and some stuff I don't agree with because grouping and generalizing the whole can be more destructive than instructive.....

I will list a few that are more common sense truths..however we all know that common sense is not so common to alot of people, and I added my own perspectives as well solely from my pov, its not the gospel truth so its not necessary to agree if you disagree

The smartest woman knows
Alot about men, even more about herself....
(A woman has to know and love herself, accept herself, understand herself, learn herself, respect herself, trust herself, honor herself, value herself, forgive herself, appreciate herself before she will ever fully be able to do the same for anybody else)
If you want to be successful in your personal life you have to come to your senses...you need
A sense of balance, worth, values, priorities, self and humor...
Men need to listen to women, women need to listen to men and all of us need to listen to our inner voices, which are sometimes the clearest voices of all....
(I stress the importance of developing and listening to intuition, remove the veils, remove the extra baggage and let your heart speak to you and don't ignore it)
How to take care of herself without sacrificing her partnerships
How to take care of herself without sacrificing her soul
(I never use the word sacrifice when it comes to love, if you are not giving freely you are not loving freely...when u sacrifice u give up something, when u give u gain something)
At the beginning of the relationship she stays awake, she's cautious, conscious and considerate and clear...she doesn't lapse into total illusion, delusion, and fantasy, don't get so swept away you can't tell the difference between love and lust, love and neediness, love and insecurity, love and image issues, love and money issues, love and status issues or love and lonliness ...she stays true to herself, she is who she is and doesn't want to behave in ways that compromise her essential self
(of course this is if true love is your true motivation for finding somebody...alot of women have alterior motives including all of the listed above and try to pass it off as love or convince themselves it can turn into real love...if your actions and motives are inauthentic so will your love be and you won't fully experience the wonderful, fullfilling blissful experience true love is meant to be...you may be settled and convinced you are okay, and if okay is good enough for you then thats all that matters....if okay isn't good enough and grand is what you seek to experience become authentic and genuine and honest with yourself and others and love for love's sake and not for any other sake)
You don't need a pyschic to tell you whats good for you, you just need to pay attention
(when you stop dilluding yourself others will not be able to dilude you either)
Men like women who build bridges not walls
Know all men are not the same, if you do you need a stronger microscope
(grouping all men together, holding onto bitterness and negative assumptions of the male species reflects negatively off of you and its felt and its not cute and men especially don't like it...bitter women are a turn off)
Men like women who are so confident of what they have to offer that they never have to try to hard
(women who try to prove themselves or convince anybody of who and what they are about are more so trying to convince themselves more than anything because they are not it yet....don't talk the talk, walk the walk and if they like the walk they will follow you)
Doesn't walk away from the things that make her feel special
(if you are feeling and experiencing genuine actions from a male that make you feel good respond back to them, don't play games with him...again when developing self, intuition and knowing it will become easy to detect who is genuine and who is not....women who respond to things that make her feel like crap respond to them because she feels like crap)
If you don't value who you are and what you have to offer, please don't expect anybody else to....
Knows how to say no without saying never, isn't afraid to say Im not ready, not yet, we need to talk, I need to know you better and more importantly you need to know me better....
(I am an adovocate of freedom of expressing sexuality and self and enjoying it, however women must know who they are and what sex is to them....if you think you are a walking sex box, you will get treated like a walking sex box, if you think you are a beautiful being occupying the physical manisfestion of yourself and that your body is to be admired, appreciated and loved then you will start to get very picky about who you let enter it...you will let others treat it how you treat it yourself, and just like you are what you eat, you are who you have sex with....another person's energy can feed you and grow you healthy or be toxic to you...take into very careful consideration this person you may allow into your body and it doesn't matter if its within the first week, month or year of dating....you will and can know what type of person you are associating with)
She can embrace her sexuality without ever feeling pressured to embrace a stranger...
(I live my life embracing, expressing and living in my sexual freedom..so many people have the misconception that since I am so open and free in my expression and because people may be attracted to me sexually that that somehow either makes me a person who allows any and everybody to have sex with me just because they think it or want it...or that I WANT to have sex with all these people who may want to have sex with me...neither is true and I don't ever feel the need to close myself off because people think other people make it hard on me....they don't...I already know from experience that no matter what preconceived notions a male has about me, he treats me in accordance to how I treat myself and those notions go out the window and I pick and choose who I let into my temple, not the other way around)
Just because you said yes in the past doesn't mean you can't say no in the present
(Many men think that if they had the pleasure of having sex with you before that its always an open door for them...no its not...if you don't want it to be...)
She doesn't need an excuse to say no to sex
(I will tell a man in a heartbeat...I don't feel like having sex with you..not in a mean way but in the literal sense of I AM NOT FEELING YOU, my body isn't responding and this isn't what I want...there isn't a better or more good enough reason to not do it than you are not feeling like it)
Doesn't treat her life like an open book, although she's willing to share some of the pages..
Doesn't treat her life like an open book until she's sure he wants to keep reading...
(So true....my life is an open book, however only for those who are truly interested in knowing..with a man I have no interest in providing all the details of my life unless he takes a genuine expressed interest...what gets me in trouble is that for me I may not be as into a man as he is into me and since I don't hold back when inquired about....its turns into you are the one on his end, and Im like..well I just think you are cool..ehh....but still, I've had to come to a balance in life of fully being myself and not getting men caught up and purposely closing off in hopes to not lead anybody on, but if he's expressing interest in you he wants to know..the only thing that will turn him off is if he doesn't like what he's reading...in that case its not you its him....and he's doing you a favor by closing the book everybody's pages and words in their book don't resonate with another, however thats your book and at the present moment its who you are....if you think the pages are dull, uninteresting, depressing, etc...rewrite it)

 

[tiara76]

continued

The smartest women know:
Neediness will turn the good guy off and the bad guy on
(there is a difference between appreciating time and energy spent on you and enjoying vs needing it)
Knows the difference between the man who likes women and the man who takes advantage of women
Knows when a man wants her in his life vs for the night
(Again these knowingness comes into play once veils have been removed from ones own face...they can see and feel the real of another...no matter how smooth he is or what he says....when u follow your feelings and allow yourself to sense what you are getting from the other person you will know sincerity from insincerity)
Never thinks she's lost the connection when the line goes dead
(you can feel a person even if you are not talking to them 24/7, around them 24/7 or hounding them 24/7...if you are paranoid there is no connection you are probably right, when you know there is one you won't be paranoid about there not being one)
KNows how to let go and move on
(Theres a good section in the book why its good to do it for yourself not for him....if its not working its not working, rejection and disappointment is never fun, however it may be necessary to endure for the sake of your own personal well being and growth..what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger)
KNows the difference between being manipulative and being magnetic
(Coming from a woman who knows both ends of the spectrum....a former master manipulater my intentions weren't genuine with men and I more so misused my own feminine power at a point in time...true essence and spirit are drawing and magnetic and when operating from that true essence you will know that your purpose is not to overpower anybody but to empower yourself and others...I only need to be myself...I will attract those who will reflect me back onto myself
KNows how much she can give and how much she can put up with
(broken women no matter how much she disguises and tries to tell herself she is loving and fixing a man is only breaking herself down more.....if she can't fix herself she can't fix anybody else.....know exactly what you are capable of and not capable of dealing with at the present moment....the boundaries and capabilities of each woman are very different what one can handle can destroy another...know thyself)
1 woman + 1 rigid set of expectations = Guaranteed diaster..
If you need formulas you can count on, become a mathematician
Even if you are dreaming of forever you have to live one day at a time or else you are not living
(as I tell anybody holding people to their word and not their actions and holding them to expectations will lead to alot of unnecessary pain, frustration and negative energy)
Never gives in order to get something back, she gives because she can and she wants to
(again, falls into line with appreciating vs needing...when u feel u need something from somebody it means u don't have it..and if u dont have it u wont ever have it till u cultivate if from within.....when u don't need anything from anybody you give authentically and natural laws of the universe is what u put out u get back..its not a coincidence all this conditional, i only love you except when, only if, as long as that people gives to "others" which equates to giving nothing at all feels like they really don't get anything back at all...hence the frustration of I give and give and give and get nothing back...you aren't really giving anything real..you can't expect anything real back)
If you love a man who isn't good for you the hardest thing to do is turn around and walk away, its the smartest thing in the world
(when I let go of my ex who i still to this day love dearly it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in life....i didnt' want to, and I tried not too...but as usual that soft inner voice that always calmly speaks sense into me always guides me....you don't want to leave, but you have to...not only for you but for him....thats how much I love myself and him....we would only be going in circles for me to have stayed and for him making an enemy out of love Im not here to make things hard on people and I since I represent love to him I didn't need to set myself up to be the one he was fighting.....fear holds on, love lets go)
A man likes a woman who can tell him whats wrong without blaming it all on him
(tactfullness and love go a much longer way than anger, blaming and pointing fingers)

The time to talk about problems is when you first notice them...
A problem is like a weed, its most easily stopped when you nip it in the bud...
(all the women who think its okay to instead of help a man or themselves work a seemingly small issue out but just try to appease will grow big very fast....ie...the woman on this board who has the husband who has trust issues and he takes her glancing at people as her wanting to be with other men....the worst thing she could do is to try to change her behaviors when she KNOWS thats not what she is doing to appease and keep him at bay instead of urging him to come to terms, accept himself and his problem and then see if he has any interest in changing it or not..because what somebody feels in side they will create outside of them and the creations will get bigger, grander and worse)
She knows nobody wins unless everybody wins..
(if somebody has to be right, then they will make somebody wrong, if somebody has to win, they will have to have somebody to lose....this will lead to misery)
No matter how well you communicate, its still never smart to listen to anyone more than you listen to the voice of your own spirit)
There are only two times when you can issue an ultimatum...When you are prepared to back it up, and when you are prepared to back it up
(Dont talk about it, be about it...say what you mean, mean what you say, do what you say)
Women think that if a man spends his money on her he really cares about her....the truth is if he spends his time and energy on her he really cares about her(I have been exposed to a world where there are lots of men with money and I see so many young women become impressed because a man will drop some on her, esp these athletes, and I know some that treat money just as obsolete as they treat trash....so they can buy you a purse or a plane ticket for the weekend to come have sex with them but when you understand that if the money means nothing to them, there is a good chance you don't either....when a man gives you his time and energy and makes efforts to be in your presence and give of himself thats when he cares....whether he spends money or not...know the difference)
Men like women who know what intimacy is before they ask for it.....
(women say they want true intimacy, true honesty, true connections but yet are deathly afraid to be open to it...can't even open up to themselves much less anybody else....what you can't do for yourself you can't do for another, much less expect from another)



[/I]

 

[Demi27]

I've decided after reading this book I have to write something for the wholistically whole woman...becoming, being and dating/loving/relating as a whole being...and for all of those who don't really realize just how super uber important it is to work on the self first and foremost....

This book states alot truths, still some generalizations and some stuff I don't agree with because grouping and generalizing the whole can be more destructive than instructive.....

I will list a few that are more common sense truths..however we all know that common sense is not so common to alot of people, and I added my own perspectives as well solely from my pov, its not the gospel truth so its not necessary to agree if you disagree

The smartest woman knows
Alot about men, even more about herself....
(A woman has to know and love herself, accept herself, understand herself, learn herself, respect herself, trust herself, honor herself, value herself, forgive herself, appreciate herself before she will ever fully be able to do the same for anybody else)
If you want to be successful in your personal life you have to come to your senses...you need
A sense of balance, worth, values, priorities, self and humor...
Men need to listen to women, women need to listen to men and all of us need to listen to our inner voices, which are sometimes the clearest voices of all....
(I stress the importance of developing and listening to intuition, remove the veils, remove the extra baggage and let your heart speak to you and don't ignore it)
How to take care of herself without sacrificing her partnerships
How to take care of herself without sacrificing her soul
(I never use the word sacrifice when it comes to love, if you are not giving freely you are not loving freely...when u sacrifice u give up something, when u give u gain something)
At the beginning of the relationship she stays awake, she's cautious, conscious and considerate and clear...she doesn't lapse into total illusion, delusion, and fantasy, don't get so swept away you can't tell the difference between love and lust, love and neediness, love and insecurity, love and image issues, love and money issues, love and status issues or love and lonliness ...she stays true to herself, she is who she is and doesn't want to behave in ways that compromise her essential self
(of course this is if true love is your true motivation for finding somebody...alot of women have alterior motives including all of the listed above and try to pass it off as love or convince themselves it can turn into real love...if your actions and motives are inauthentic so will your love be and you won't fully experience the wonderful, fullfilling blissful experience true love is meant to be...you may be settled and convinced you are okay, and if okay is good enough for you then thats all that matters....if okay isn't good enough and grand is what you seek to experience become authentic and genuine and honest with yourself and others and love for love's sake and not for any other sake)
You don't need a pyschic to tell you whats good for you, you just need to pay attention
(when you stop dilluding yourself others will not be able to dilude you either)
Men like women who build bridges not walls
Know all men are not the same, if you do you need a stronger microscope
(grouping all men together, holding onto bitterness and negative assumptions of the male species reflects negatively off of you and its felt and its not cute and men especially don't like it...bitter women are a turn off)
Men like women who are so confident of what they have to offer that they never have to try to hard
(women who try to prove themselves or convince anybody of who and what they are about are more so trying to convince themselves more than anything because they are not it yet....don't talk the talk, walk the walk and if they like the walk they will follow you)
Doesn't walk away from the things that make her feel special
(if you are feeling and experiencing genuine actions from a male that make you feel good respond back to them, don't play games with him...again when developing self, intuition and knowing it will become easy to detect who is genuine and who is not....women who respond to things that make her feel like crap respond to them because she feels like crap)
If you don't value who you are and what you have to offer, please don't expect anybody else to....
Knows how to say no without saying never, isn't afraid to say Im not ready, not yet, we need to talk, I need to know you better and more importantly you need to know me better....
(I am an adovocate of freedom of expressing sexuality and self and enjoying it, however women must know who they are and what sex is to them....if you think you are a walking sex box, you will get treated like a walking sex box, if you think you are a beautiful being occupying the physical manisfestion of yourself and that your body is to be admired, appreciated and loved then you will start to get very picky about who you let enter it...you will let others treat it how you treat it yourself, and just like you are what you eat, you are who you have sex with....another person's energy can feed you and grow you healthy or be toxic to you...take into very careful consideration this person you may allow into your body and it doesn't matter if its within the first week, month or year of dating....you will and can know what type of person you are associating with)
She can embrace her sexuality without ever feeling pressured to embrace a stranger...
(I live my life embracing, expressing and living in my sexual freedom..so many people have the misconception that since I am so open and free in my expression and because people may be attracted to me sexually that that somehow either makes me a person who allows any and everybody to have sex with me just because they think it or want it...or that I WANT to have sex with all these people who may want to have sex with me...neither is true and I don't ever feel the need to close myself off because people think other people make it hard on me....they don't...I already know from experience that no matter what preconceived notions a male has about me, he treats me in accordance to how I treat myself and those notions go out the window and I pick and choose who I let into my temple, not the other way around)
Just because you said yes in the past doesn't mean you can't say no in the present
(Many men think that if they had the pleasure of having sex with you before that its always an open door for them...no its not...if you don't want it to be...)
She doesn't need an excuse to say no to sex
(I will tell a man in a heartbeat...I don't feel like having sex with you..not in a mean way but in the literal sense of I AM NOT FEELING YOU, my body isn't responding and this isn't what I want...there isn't a better or more good enough reason to not do it than you are not feeling like it)
Doesn't treat her life like an open book, although she's willing to share some of the pages..
Doesn't treat her life like an open book until she's sure he wants to keep reading...
(So true....my life is an open book, however only for those who are truly interested in knowing..with a man I have no interest in providing all the details of my life unless he takes a genuine expressed interest...what gets me in trouble is that for me I may not be as into a man as he is into me and since I don't hold back when inquired about....its turns into you are the one on his end, and Im like..well I just think you are cool..ehh....but still, I've had to come to a balance in life of fully being myself and not getting men caught up and purposely closing off in hopes to not lead anybody on, but if he's expressing interest in you he wants to know..the only thing that will turn him off is if he doesn't like what he's reading...in that case its not you its him....and he's doing you a favor by closing the book everybody's pages and words in their book don't resonate with another, however thats your book and at the present moment its who you are....if you think the pages are dull, uninteresting, depressing, etc...rewrite it)

I have that common sense quote on my wall at work. It's the truth.

I've glanced through this book before. Thanks for posting it.

 

[Makenzie]

Bumping so I can read later from my laptop.

 

[Allandra]

Another nice read. Thanks.

 

[phynestone]

What is the name of this book?

 

[tiara76]

men like women who like themselves is the title......

its not really a dating book vs a book more on relating to men and yourself....some of the advice is subjective and relative to the people involved, but is stated as generalizations of the whole.....along the lines that "all men" will act like this if a woman acts like that....just like for women......its easy to say that men who call us all the time are really annoying....unless of course we really like the guy then we smile everytime we see his name across the caller id, so for all the 50 11 other guys who were bugaboo central making u want to go jump in lakes for their pestiness, this certain one makes u feel completely different.....they do go into being intuitive, dropping dillusions, knowing who u are dealing with so it was a decent read

 

[Highly Favored8]

Great Post thank you =)

 

[Nefertiti0906]

Subscribing to this thread

Thanks for posting!

 

[Radianthealth]

Dlewis said something to that affect in another thread...I totally agree

 

[Flourishnikov]

bumping...

 

[londontresses]

I used to really like this poster. Thanks for bumping.