Men and being 'Friends'.

vevster

vevster

Well-Known Member
I have a relative that is delusional about men wanting to be platonic friends.

I'm like whatever....

Like for example a guy I have known since I was a kid started texting me out of the blue.... at first he kept referring to me as his little sister...

Now, I've progressed to "beautiful" and "babe".

Plus, I invited he and his wife to eat and he says he refuses to bring his wife..

Ohhhhhh wellllll...
 
Wrong forum Vev. This should be in the relationship or off topics forum.

This is the makeup, skincare, and nail forum.
 
*CherryPie* said:
Wrong forum Vev. This should be in the relationship or off topics forum.

This is the makeup, skincare, and nail forum.
Click to expand...

Uh yeah, I JUST realized this.... I need to ask Allandra to move this to the relationship forum.

I didn't even realize that I posted to this forum until just now looking for the post.....
 
So you don't believe that men and women can be friends I take it? Join the club guuuurl!
The progression is funny.
 
vevster said:
I have a relative that is delusional about men wanting to be platonic friends.

I'm like whatever....

Like for example a guy I have known since I was a kid started texting me out of the blue.... at first he kept referring to me as his little sister...

Now, I've progressed to "beautiful" and "babe".

Plus, I invited he and his wife to eat and he says he refuses to bring his wife..

Ohhhhhh wellllll...
Click to expand...

Whoa. Stop.

Wife?!

:lachen:
 
And that's the thing- people think they can stop themselves assuming they recognize the physical attraction. Then there are those that pretend they are NOT attracted. Smh
 
I think when a man hunts down my friendship usually there's some attraction there. Although to be real for a second, the more attractive I became,(effort put into appearance), the more this occurs. :perplexed

I have seen men having to reject their female friends advances because they simply don't find them attractive, even for sex. Also seen unrequited love from woman to male friend. It does happen where the man is not interested in anything more than friendship.

I think it can happen if you're not at all attracted to each other.
Click to expand...
I have a newish (maybe a year) platonic male friend at the moment that I initiated. He likes completely different type of women to me and has never said anything remotely dodgy. I also don't find him attractive in that way at all. Works well. Last time I had someone like this was about 4 years ago so its definitely few and far between, but possible.
 
I'm not saying it can never happen(friendship) I just don't think it happens just like that.

This same relative met one of her exes because she thought he wanted to be FRIENDS he saw she gained weight and never called her again....

So much for FRIENDS.

I met a guy and his girlfriend at a wedding. The guy texted me the next day, my stupid relative said he wanted to be FRIENDS. He invites me to dinner at his hse. Why would I do that? I'm not putting myself in a potentially bad situation....
 
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vevster said:
I have a relative that is delusional about men wanting to be platonic friends.

Plus, I invited he and his wife to eat and he says he refuses to bring his wife..

Ohhhhhh wellllll...
Click to expand...

Any reason from him as to why she's not invited? (Like I have to ask :rolleyes:)
 
awhyley said:
Any reason from him as to why she's not invited? (Like I have to ask :rolleyes:)
Click to expand...

We were texting..... let me check my phone.... :)

"As far as dinner over your house I will be bringing someone else, not my wife".

That is basically what he said.
 
Then again, maybe his wife doesn't want to go or another non-shady reason. Just because he's married doesn't mean that he must ONLY bring his wife when invited out.
 
Fine 4s said:
Then again, maybe his wife doesn't want to go or another non-shady reason. Just because he's married doesn't mean that he must ONLY bring his wife when invited out.
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I'm not having a guy over for dinner and not inviting his wife whom I know.
 
vevster said:
I'm not having a guy over for dinner and not inviting his wife whom I know.
Click to expand...

iTA you should invite the spouse especially since he doesn't seem like a friend friend of yours and even so....
its not that the invitation wasn't extended rather she didn't accept or couldn't come which could be for many many reasons.
If an invitation was extended to both and the wife couldn't come and the husband was bringing someone else in her stead like another mutual friend etc. that's not so bad.

But in this situation it sounds like several assumptions are being made like: he's been inappropriate with you (progression or adjectives), bringing another woman to a dinner at your place etc. all of these IF true, sound dodgy (teehee) Do you have private convos with her too?

For the reasons mentioned above, I prefer the approach of always making plans like this with the wife especially if you know (don't know how well) her and have access to her. If the dinner is contingent upon her being there maybe arranging it with her would have been best. I can see why he would assume its about him (if how he's being portrayed in this post is accurate). Arranging dinner with someone else's husband whom you feel made you uncomfortable probably was an opening for him to continue to be creepy IMHO. Any home visit convos would have to be with her. Or if he became inappropriate before the dinner invitation, maybe he shouldn't have been invited at all. Not worth being in your company....
 
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He is worthy of my company, but not one on one. Because it looks as I'm trying to lure him into something inappropriate. It just is not proper social protocol.

Plus, I didn't say he was bringing a woman, he said a guy, actually. If he brought one of his kids, I would be all for it.
 
He actually isn't being creepy, just starting to slide down the slippery slope and I am responsible for putting a stop to it.
 
10 years ago I would say that men and women could be platonic friends but now I'm not so sure.

If either person is remotely attractive, the potential for something else to happen is always there.
 
deltagyrl said:
10 years ago I would say that men and women could be platonic friends but now I'm not so sure.

If either person is remotely attractive, the potential for something else to happen is always there.
Click to expand...

That is my point-- especially if you are bored in your marriage or just bored in general.

It is easy to just call up an old friend and "kick it".

Especially if she lives alone.

I've been in bad situations in the past. I'm too smart to go into something( e.g. the guy from the wedding) that just doesn't sound right.

Protocol exists for a reason. You break it, well, for some it works out. I haven't found that to be the case.
 
Update: several times he has told me I need a lover, I need someone for fornication etc.. Please.
 
I saw this coming. But you said, he was a family friend and then minimized his comments by saying you're interaction was via text. If it's wrong no matter how it's communicated it's still wrong mainly because he's married. I'm unclear about how you really feel about the things he says to you.

If you don't put a stop to it, you kind of contribute.
 
Fine 4s said:
I saw this coming. But you said, he was a family friend and then minimized his comments by saying you're interaction was via text. If it's wrong no matter how it's communicated it's still wrong mainly because he's married. I'm unclear about how you really feel about the things he says to you.

If you don't put a stop to it, you kind of contribute.
Click to expand...

:yep::yep::yep::yep::yep: :perplexed
 
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