Married Ladies Random Thoughts

CurliDiva said:
We recently suffered a miscarriage and me being me wanted (rather needed) to talked about it. But DH was like "we'll try again and so let's not dwell on this". Plus he tried to celebrate my b-day the following day to cheer me up, and I just wanted to be left alone. Maybe he just doesn't get how traumatic this was for me - emotionally and physically. He doesn't get it....
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Hi @CurliDiva! Just wanted to check in on you and see how things are going? I hope you are doing well.
 
I feel like I've been giving my DH a hard time lately, and I'm not quite sure why. I mean, I have an idea. I've been a little stressed with work and the kid's appointments lately, and now school on top of it, but I feel like... he just annoys me. And he hasn't really done anything. I guess I resent him a little bit because I have so much more going on than he does (and I have to hear him complain about sleep again, I am going to scream). But I also know I wouldn't be able to do these things if he didn't support me. I should be grateful, right? So why do I feel like I made a huge mistake marrying him?
 
(and I have to hear him complain about sleep again, I am going to scream).[/QUOTE]

You ain't never lied! Please don't talk about your lack of sleep - DHs have no idea.

You didn't make a mistake by marrying your husband @Miss617. It just sounds like you are overwhelmed and may have a little anxiety going on. We often feel resentment towards the ones we love, even when they do nothing to provoke it. Just them being there can trigger it. Wives do have a lot on our plates and then we seem to pile on even more at times. You just need a breather. Work, school, kids, household responsibilities, a DH, and who knows what else, is a lot to balance. Are there some responsibilities that you can give to DH? Maybe he can do all the errands, prepare meals and have a nice bath ready for you at the end of your day? Even the smallest gesture of an added responsibility may make you feel better.
 
Hi @Bad&Bougee Yes, I'm definitely a little overwhelmed. I mentioned the sleep thing because I'm fully aware of his schedule, but he never lets me forget that he works overnight and only sleeps for maybe three hours before he goes to work, and maybe a nap with the kid in the afternoon. I said once DS starts school he can either get a new schedule or keep the one he has but be able to sleep during the day. But he'll kind of throw it in my face that he sacrifices sleep so I can go to work, study, etc.

He does a lot of the household stuff like cooking, dishes or laundry since he's home and is just very clean and tidy in general and loves to cook. He doesn't like staring at piles of clothes or anything and it frustrates him if they don't get done within a certain time period and he knows that I don't always want to cook when I get home and have to take over DS. I literally can't ask him to take on any more of that stuff because I don't do it and would kick and scream if I had to lol. But I manage all of our son's appointments and keep track of his schedule and that's like a full-time job itself. I actually made a separate calendar within my calendar so I could share it with DH so he wouldn't keep asking me what he had any given week. But it's like... his workday ends at 7 am, even though he calls watching DS his "second shift. " Like, no, watching your child is not a job or chore, and you sound ridiculous. I check work email for at least an hour after I get home because someone almost always needs me, work on my freelance articles and now do my school assignments - and yeah I choose to do these things, but I feel like he thinks I don't "work" as much because I do almost everything on the computer. But I I also have to deal with my writers, my editor, interview subjects... that gets mentally taxing. I don't know, I guess I just feel like he could be a bit more understanding about everything that I deal with.

I guess I'm just venting now. I don't know if this is really what I was upset about it or if I just worked myself up lol.
 
@Miss617 sounds like you both are super stretched. I have to say the night shift sucks on a whole nother level that can't be explained. I'll never do it again.
I do think maybe he just needs a bit more empathy shown and the way he's asking for it seems like complaining to you since you're also stressed. Wish you the best and hope you sort it out :)
 
My husband passed on 10 Sep 17 and will be buried on 16 Sep 17. I'm so heartbroken yet relieved he's not suffering any more. He and I started dating in middle school and have been married for 19 years. In total, we've been together for 28 years. I miss my best friend so much. Thank you in advance for the condolences.
 
divachyk said:
My husband passed on 10 Sep 17 and will be buried on 16 Sep 17. I'm so heartbroken yet relieved he's not suffering any more. He and I started dating in middle school and have been married for 19 years. In total, we've been together for 28 years. I miss my best friend so much. Thank you in advance for the condolences.
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Oh honey I am so so sorry to hear this. May God give you peace. Can we send gifts? Flowers? Donations? Let us know.
 
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