Married Ladies Random Thoughts

Taleah2009 said:
DH and I have been arguing for the past 3 days. I look over last night and he is sleeping so peacefully. Like the how the hell are you sleeping so peacefully when we are going through this mess. The pettiness in me woke him up like dude, I need more answers because I am still feeling unresolved, angry, and confused.
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Men compartmentalize so they are good and definitely do not loose any sleep. Kudos for waking him up! Talk it out, resolve it and move on to the next. If it isn't resolved, wait until he goes to sleep again tonight, wake him up and talk it out some more. Going forward he will ask, "Are you good?" before going to bed after an argument :drunk:. As I'm sure you've heard 10 million times, "It's not good to go to bed angry because tomorrow isn't promised to you."
 
Taleah2009 said:
DH and I have been arguing for the past 3 days. I look over last night and he is sleeping so peacefully. Like the how the hell are you sleeping so peacefully when we are going through this mess. The pettiness in me woke him up like dude, I need more answers because I am still feeling unresolved, angry, and confused.
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My type of petty is that I'll take two benadryl and sleep like a baby like I don't give a care.
 
Bad&Bougee said:
Men compartmentalize so they are good and definitely do not loose any sleep. Kudos for waking him up! Talk it out, resolve it and move on to the next. If it isn't resolved, wait until he goes to sleep again tonight, wake him up and talk it out some more. Going forward he will ask, "Are you good?" before going to bed after an argument :drunk:. As I'm sure you've heard 10 million times, "It's not good to go to bed angry because tomorrow isn't promised to you."
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I just don't even know if this can be resolved with through conversation. But I for sure know he will hate me if I wake him again in the middle night, which makes me want to do it even more :look:
 
Taleah2009 said:
I may have to do this. How long does it knock you out for?
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Just the regular sleep time. I still get up fine for work the next morning if it's a weeknight. It's just the normal 2 pill dose I take if I've been around flowers too much.

The Benadryl solution is probably a horrible suggestion, but I'm the type of person whose mind will just keep rolling instead of resting. I can have too much work stuff going on and take a benadryl to force a full night of sleep. I don't mess with sleeping aids because I don't want to become dependent and Benadryl works just fine for me lol.
 
Dee-Licious said:
Just the regular sleep time. I still get up fine for work the next morning if it's a weeknight. It's just the normal 2 pill dose I take if I've been around flowers too much.

The Benadryl solution is probably a horrible suggestion, but I'm the type of person whose mind will just keep rolling instead of resting. I can have too much work stuff going on and take a benadryl to force a full night of sleep. I don't mess with sleeping aids because I don't want to become dependent and Benadryl works just fine for me lol.
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You don't wake up irritable?
 
Dee-Licious said:
More irritable than normal? :look: nope

If it's too late at night when you take it, you'll be drowsy the next day. I have time guidelines (10 pm or so) where I won't take it after if the next day is a work day.
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Maybe that's the problem. I don't take it early enough for it to work through and out of my system. I need to do something because I hate being awake all night thinking about work - looking like an extra on Walking Dead Monday through Friday. Thanks!
 
Dee-Licious said:
Just the regular sleep time. I still get up fine for work the next morning if it's a weeknight. It's just the normal 2 pill dose I take if I've been around flowers too much.

The Benadryl solution is probably a horrible suggestion, but I'm the type of person whose mind will just keep rolling instead of resting. I can have too much work stuff going on and take a benadryl to force a full night of sleep. I don't mess with sleeping aids because I don't want to become dependent and Benadryl works just fine for me lol.
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I'm like that as well. I already have trouble staying sleep through the night
 
Miss617 said:
@Bad&Bougee I walked by a body contouring place today and thought of you (I hope that isn't rude). Have you and your DH gone to a consultation yet?
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Not rude at all. Our consult is in 2 weeks. He said my cousin sent him a FB message asking him why was he tripping (she and I are really close and knew I was upset). He assumed I was getting implants and dislikes the idea of me having something fake. I showed him a You Tube video of a similar procedure - he got a little queezy and could only watch a couple of minutes.
 
Ladies, question for you.

If someone tells you some hearsay that they heard from someone about your husband, and this person wouldn't even tell you who the original source of the information came from, when you confront your husband, do you reveal your source??? Even if not revealing the source is causing sooo much strife and contention with your household?
 
Bad&Bougee said:
Not rude at all. Our consult is in 2 weeks. He said my cousin sent him a FB message asking him why was he tripping (she and I are really close and knew I was upset). He assumed I was getting implants and dislikes the idea of me having something fake. I showed him a You Tube video of a similar procedure - he got a little queezy and could only watch a couple of minutes.
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Men are such punks LOL. I'm glad he's come around. How strange that he assumed you were getting implants though!
 
Taleah2009 said:
Ladies, question for you.

If someone tells you some hearsay that they heard from someone about your husband, and this person wouldn't even tell you who the original source of the information came from, when you confront your husband, do you reveal your source??? Even if not revealing the source is causing sooo much strife and contention with your household?
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I'm terrrrrible with biting my tongue even when I try so so so hard to bite my tongue. I would confront because it would be on my mind constantly until I did. I'd look for other ways to corroborate the info before confronting, but I definitely would confront and IN PERSON. I don't believe I would reveal my source. I'm 99% sure that I wouldn't if it's a source that asked me not to.
 
The source didn't ask me not to reveal, but I am pretty sure they wouldn't want me to tell that they told me. But now DH is mad at me because I won't tell him who told me. Four days of this mess, but I know if I tell him, then it will be even worse. UGH. I am just tired of fighting, arguing, and just being plain mad. We have been barely speaking to each other. He is mad because I won't tell him who said it and feels like I am protecting someone over our marriage. I am mad about the situation over all. IDK how much longer I can put up with this anger between us.
 
Taleah2009 said:
Ladies, question for you.

If someone tells you some hearsay that they heard from someone about your husband, and this person wouldn't even tell you who the original source of the information came from, when you confront your husband, do you reveal your source??? Even if not revealing the source is causing sooo much strife and contention with your household?
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Eh... if my source won't reveal their source, how can I be sure their information is legit and they're not just trying to screw with my marriage? That seems kind of shady, so I'd be very skeptical of the validity of the hearsay. I wouldn't confront DH until I knew where the information came from.

ETA: Just saw your other post. I think preserving your marriage is more important than protecting the source's identity.
 
Taleah2009 said:
The source didn't ask me not to reveal, but I am pretty sure they wouldn't want me to tell that they told me. But now DH is mad at me because I won't tell him who told me. Four days of this mess, but I know if I tell him, then it will be even worse. UGH. I am just tired of fighting, arguing, and just being plain mad. We have been barely speaking to each other. He is mad because I won't tell him who said it and feels like I am protecting someone over our marriage. I am mad about the situation over all. IDK how much longer I can put up with this anger between us.
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Well, was the info they provided true of false?
If it was true, he's deflecting. If it was proven false, I can see where he is coming from.
 
Dee-Licious said:
Well, was the info they provided true of false?
If it was true, he's deflecting. If it was proven false, I can see where he is coming from.
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I thought about the deflecting thing, but I am pretty sure it was false, but I can't really prove it. The story just sounds sooo outlandish and so out of character for my husband.

ETA: but that is why I am soo torn, could he be deflecting, or is really as upset as he says he is that this stuff is being spread about him. He already hates people being in his business. But none of my family/friends was at this event. Only his people. So I told him, look at your family. True or not, it came from someone in your camp.

ETA again, the only way I would really know if its true is to start asking family members who were present, like his dad and uncle. But I don't want more people involved.
 
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Miss617 said:
Eh... if my source won't reveal their source, how can I be sure their information is legit and they're not just trying to screw with my marriage? That seems kind of shady, so I'd be very skeptical of the validity of the hearsay. I wouldn't confront DH until I knew where the information came from.

ETA: Just saw your other post. I think preserving your marriage is more important than protecting the source's identity.
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I wish I would have held of confronting but I was sooo angry so I jumped the gun.

ETA: I feel the same way about preserving my marriage, but I know that revealing my source will open a whole nother came of worms. But my husband says I am always assume that I know what he will do or how he will react, so maybe I am just assuming the worse? IDK. I feel stuck.
 
Taleah2009 said:
I wish I would have held of confronting but I was sooo angry so I jumped the gun.
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Yeah, patience patience patience.
I don't know if you are a prayer, but I often have to pray to be calm and patient.
If it's false, you probably need to give up that source with the understanding that the source wasn't sure but rather you know than not know. You don't want your marriage to end or be damaged over protecting another person.
 
Taleah2009 said:
I wish I would have held of confronting but I was sooo angry so I jumped the gun.
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It happens. I'm assuming you're saying it will be worse if you tell your DH because your source is someone close to him? Do you trust this person? I would still question the validity of the source's source since you said it seems out of character for your DH. This all just sounds very weird and high schoolish :-\
 
Dee-Licious said:
Yeah, patience patience patience.
I don't know if you are a prayer, but I often have to pray to be calm and patient.
If it's false, you probably need to give up that source with the understanding that the source wasn't sure but rather you know than not know. You don't want your marriage to end or be damaged over protecting another person.
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The source came to me saying their source was credible, but how do I know that??? Even their source most likely wasn't even there. So its a much of hearsay mess.

I am definitely going to pray to be more calm and patient. I tried everything. Counting to 10, taking breaths. But nothing helped. I knew confronting him right away was a bad idea.
 
Taleah2009 said:
The source came to me saying their source was credible, but how do I know that??? Even their source most likely wasn't even there. So its a much of hearsay mess.

I am definitely going to pray to be more calm and patient. I tried everything. Counting to 10, taking breaths. But nothing helped. I knew confronting him right away was a bad idea.
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Yeah, if you were angry it probably was more of an "accusation" than a calm questioning to discuss what you were told.

Marriage is constantly learning and growing. Use this experience to help ya'll move forward.
 
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