Do I have a right to feel uncomfortable?

She has her own "gut feeling" too. To ask him once and be rejected? Ok. But ten times? She also knows what's up. I also feel some type of way about a man taking money from a female that's not family, especially knowing she likes him... Keep your ear to the ground OP, and eyes wide open.
 
You certainly have a right to feel uncomfortable. I too used to date a man with several female friends and learned the hard way.

Today, I would never seriously date a man with several (or one) close female friends.
 
Have you spoken to your boyfriend about this and told him how you feel?

Does he have a lot of male friends? If he is the type of person who just has a lot of friends I don't see the problem. Someone is going to catch feelings, can't be helped. But if you are uncomfortable with a particular friendship he has, you should address it with him and he should distance himself from her.

I am friends with a guy who was actually trying to get with me while engaged to another woman. He called me the prototype. :perplexed

I put some distance between us, I do NOT want to come between this man and his wife. We still chat on Facebook every now and then.
He lives in another state which I am very much grateful for. :yep:
 
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You have a right to all your feelings. If you mean justified, I'd say yes. Only because she has already expressed interest in him. He may think it's over but women know how to pine over a man like no other.
 
BEAUTYU2U said:
You have a right to all your feelings. If you mean justified, I'd say yes. Only because she has already expressed interest in him. He may think it's over but women know how to pine over a man like no other.
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If a guy told me he wasn't into me I would cut him off completely and move on. Why torture myself? This type of nonsense is why people have so much drama in their relationships. He needs to put distance between them even if nothing happens between them; because it makes his new girl uncomfortable.
 
CurlyMoo said:
If a guy told me he wasn't into me I would cut him off completely and move on. Why torture myself? This type of nonsense is why people have so much drama in their relationships. He needs to put distance between them even if nothing happens between them; because it makes his new girl uncomfortable.
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I hadn't read about him rejecting her ten times :lachen: I should probably edit that. Cause homegirl got issues.
 
Yes you have a right to feel uncomfortable. I would. It sounds like this woman was willing to do whatever it took to "make" him like her. She may say she is falling back but I wouldn't trust it. Did he use her? I wouldn't be cool with that either.
 
OP...Keep your eyes open, and your ears to the ground.

Your man is supposed to protect your relationship from possible and perceived intrusion. He's rejected this woman 10 times, when he should have dropped her after his first "no" was ignored by her.

This woman is disregarding your relationship through her persistent effort to win your man which in turn is highly disrespectful to what you all are trying to build. Any man that ALLOWS someone to disrespect you like that is NOT a keeper.
 
Be careful with her. She seems desperate and stalkerish. He rejected her 10 times and she won't stop. I get it that he doesn't want to be a jerk to her but he clearly isn't being firm enough.
 
Pull out your funeral dress and go with him to the service. Observe her behavior at the service. Have you seen him interact with her before? The fact that he has a lot of female friends is unsettling. The only good part about it is that you know about his " friends". Someone I know got married and all the ladies went to the house to visit. I refused to go by there and make her uncomfortable like that. He said we are living at such and such address. Come on by. No I am not. You be married and visit her by yourself.:nono::nono:
 
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He rejected her ten times. What man keeps count? Ten times? Im giving him the side eye and da bidness right along with it.

And he is going to the funeral?

Yeah. Ok. Tell him you want to go to the funeral with him. If he claims he told this girl he is in a relationship, tell him to give you the details of the funeral and that you're going with him in support, and that you would love to meet his friend.

You gotta be nice when you say it. Don't be mean and demanding. Gotta put some shuga on it. Say "baby, I'd hate for you to go to the funeral by yourself. As your woman, I need to be by your side and support you during this difficult time. Plus, I'd love to meet your friend and thank her for being sucha supportive friend to you. What day is the funeral, honey?"

Make it all about HIM and you being there for him. Don't make it about her.

Let us know his reaction. You gotta learn how to play this to your advantage to get the answers you want. Men aren't difficult. They're just not that bright. Feed his ego on that and see what he say.

Report back.
 
So, she gets to stay around forever just because she was around first? :perplexed At some point she needs to hit the road, and I think now is a good time.:yep:

ThickHair said:
Spongebob But the friend was around before OP. I wouldn't be bothered. I understand what you mean about cultivating new friendships though, no permitted in the least.
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If you were in your teen or early 20's with no children to embarrass, I'd tell you to beat the brakes off of both of them for trying to pull the wool over your eyes.
Just kidding...but not really.:look: :lol:

You really should have a serious talk with him though. Like others have said, there has to be more to this story, and I have a feeling that this situation will not end well.
 
I dont believe he has constantly rejected this woman. Not for one second. And him accepting money from her like that just rubs me the wrong way.

In short: Its his actions that would bother me more than having a female friend.
 
Mortons said:
I dont believe he has constantly rejected this woman. Not for one second. And him accepting money from her like that just rubs me the wrong way.

In short: Its his actions that would bother me more than having a female friend.
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This x 7. Its like...he's taking advantage of her feelings for him
 
i can't stand men with a million female "friends". 90% of the time there is unrequited love, the friend and the man have a history, or she's a potential prospect. It's always messy and men play dumb and act like they don't understand what the problem is and call the women that call them and their harem out, insecure. I hope that for your sake the woman is is part of that 10%, but it doesn't seem likely. Tread lightly.
 
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Mortons said:
I dont believe he has constantly rejected this woman. Not for one second. And him accepting money from her like that just rubs me the wrong way.

In short: Its his actions that would bother me more than having a female friend.
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I don't either tbh.

I find it highly unusual for a woman to directly come at a man again if he has 100% shut her down: "I'm not attracted to you and it's never going to happen". Never mind 10 x (which is a nice round number by the way:look:).

I'm not saying they may not "hang around" wishing and hoping, but I've never known any woman to ask repeatedly if they have been shut down properly. If he was very clear and didn't throw her any subsequent crumbs of hope why would she embarrass herself 1 month later again, or whatever lol. Doesn't make sense. Yes I know some men do this:lol:, but women are usually much more butt hurt by a firm 100% rejection even if thirsty. Whenever I see extreme desperation its usually around men who haven't said anything out of politeness, or men who have been vague with them for whatever reason.

If the story is true in it's entirety then she is a little unhinged and I think you should watch your back even if he doesn't find her attractive. I wouldn't be comfortable with having a woman like that around. Can we say OBSESSED.:axehunter:
 
Yeah, I didn't want to say it , but glad you ladies did. He rejected her 10 times and she takes care of him financially is red flag about his character. He acting like the women stalking him and so in love with him....Yeah right... I hate when guys trying to act like the other woman/women in his life are crazy,stalkers etc....

Who knows what he us telling her about you....He got you thinking she is some type of crazy stalker to watch out for

JMO take it with a grain of salt
 
Don't take the "insecure" bait! I hate it when common sense caution and justified possessiveness is translated into insecurity! You should be concerned about his many women friends and especially about the one who had admitted to liking him.

I agree with the poster that said she aint never had a hetero male friend who wouldn't hit it under some circumstance. Ask him if they've ever been intimate...Every chick a guy has labled "crazy" usually has a story behind it about how she got that way, and most of it is about the emotional rollarcoaster the guy has had them on (ie leading them on, having sex then saying they're not "ready" for a relationship). And just like you guys flirted off and on for years its possible that he did that same thing with her...just without the next step of a relationship. And we know how we can think as women..."If I wait around and be a good supportive friend he will eventually see that I'm the one for him and be with me."

If I had a guy friend and one of us was in a relationship and he declared his feelings for me I would immediately stop being friends with him! Nope...I will not entertain your unfaithfulness to your SO nor would I put my man in a position to be unconsciously competing for me. That is completely egotistical.

He may be a part of the 5% who have completely good intentions but weather or not he is, you really need to make your feelings known and check that in the beginning.

Though I would want to go to the funeral, I don't think its a good idea because you already know she has feelings for him and seeing him with a girlfriend at her dads funeral could be overtaxing to her emotionally. Just because she backed down doesn't mean her feelings disappeared quickly. No need to make a statement in her time of loss.
 
**Update**
Well, today is the day of the funeral and he didn't go. I expressed to him that I was uncomfortable, but he could still go. He told me he was still going, but this morning he decided not to. He sent a card and food to the repast (my suggestion) by another mutual friend. Thanks for the advice ladies. He also told me that he's going to stop talking to her because of how it makes me feel and she needs to move on.
 
Flawed2Perfection said:
**Update**
Well, today is the day of the funeral and he didn't go. I expressed to him that I was uncomfortable, but he could still go. He told me he was still going, but this morning he decided not to. He sent a card and food to the repast (my suggestion) by another mutual friend. Thanks for the advice ladies. He also told me that he's going to stop talking to her because of how it makes me feel and she needs to move on.
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I will asume this means deleting her from his phone and all social media. If not.... :ohwell:

ETA: That said, I wouldn't expect him to delete her right now during this difficult time... but in a month or so, she's got to go. That is, if he's not bs-ing you.
 
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That sounds great. But, still watch him because he has questionable behavior with women. He's doing this for you, but that don't doesn't mean he is changing his overall behavior. He sounds like a man that uses women and leads them on.

Flawed2Perfection said:
**Update**
Well, today is the day of the funeral and he didn't go. I expressed to him that I was uncomfortable, but he could still go. He told me he was still going, but this morning he decided not to. He sent a card and food to the repast (my suggestion) by another mutual friend. Thanks for the advice ladies. He also told me that he's going to stop talking to her because of how it makes me feel and she needs to move on.
Click to expand...
 
Have you seen in person how they interact with each other? If they are so close, maybe y'all can hang out together :look:.
 
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