Luck don't be SimpleKomplexity Tonight...I hate Vday

[SimpleKomplexity]

I broke All of the Rules today.

I've been really down. I hate Valentine's Day. It always leaves me depressed because I see myself alone forever. I know it's possible, and it really scares me. It just seems how the cards are being played....I'm not Lady Luck tonight...or tomorrow....

All my friends are in long term relationships or have SOMEONE to spend VDAY with. I'm the only one here at the school so I spent time with my friend guy (that I hate because I think he's borderline Mentally Retarted). He kept doing stupid ish..... The whole time on our date all I could think about is my ex. I really miss him.

My date asked me what's the weirdest food I'd ever eaten.... I said ostrich. I almost cried because on my first and last Valentine's Day my boyfriend cooked me ostrich and duck and some other sentimental stuff. He's a chef. I tried to shake it off. I asked my date to reply to his own question. He said the weirdest thing he has ever eaten was a leaf. erplexed I said....yeah you were like in Kindergarten right? He was like nawww I did that a few years ago. Someone paid me to do it, but it got caught in my throat and everyone laughed at me . So all I'm thinking about is that I'm with the retard because not one guy talks to me on even a friend level like that unless he wants to have relations....while my heart is somewhere else.

My ex... he was my only relationship really. ...so being the dumb blond I am...I txted him and told him that I miss him. He told me he misses me too and I should sneak out to have sex with him.........I didn't. He cares nothing about me. Just my body. I stood my ground and he backed off, but claim I only txt him to torture him because I know he wants to have sex with me but I won't let him do it. I continued to complain about my Valentine, and we laughed it off.

The next day me and ole dude went to Walmart. Guess who I see? My ex. With the girl he claimed that he didn't cheat on me with. Holding hands and looking wonderful. She couldn't even look me in the eyes. She goes to school here, and she knew me and my guy were dating when he cheated. He came up to me and hugged me close and we spoke for a few minutes. I couldn't even breathe. Something about seeing him with her, and realizing it will NEVER be me again......I thought I was going to faint in the store.

Ole Retard Mr. Valentine started something about shooting bazookas at the guy after I told him it was my ex. Made gun noises and everything in the middle of Walmart. I didn't even care just as long as I could get outta there. I called me friend sobbing....but I grabbed my composure cuz I really don't want to ruin anyone elses day because of my usual feelings. Sooo I dropped ole dude off....went to see my best friend...

Saw a kute guy. In attempts to make me feel better, she says I should say hey to this kute dude we see at the apartment complex. What do I have to lose? He politely speaks. I get out of my car and talk to him.....he asks me for my friends number instead. *sigh* Happy Valentine's Day to me.

Another guy to her list and zero to mine. Well....I left cuz she had to get ready for her date. She's now out on the town...so I'm back home.....

I give up. It's not that right thing to think, but I don't think I'm good enough. Right now I don't feel pretty enough, confident enough, apparently able bodied enough, or just enough. I felt so bad. I stood in the mirror and just wished I could be on that Swan show or whatever. Change my whole outer appearance. Gain a few inches. Maybe then I would get noticed.... . When I was younger my mother always asked me to wait on dating until I was of age. Now I am of age and still no one would even give me a chance with a ten foot pole. *sigh* I wish people would see the person I see in the mirror.....on my good days.

Oh and congrats to my bff. She's engaged!!

 

[amwcah]

You need to stop beating yourself up! Believe me, there is more to life than men. God will put the right person in your life when he feels you are ready. I believe that you need to work on YOU for now.

Also, I am assuming that you are in college. I suggest that you try to stay focused on more important things such as your academic goals(Dean's List, President's List), graduation(with honors), and career goals. Try to surround yourself with people that are positive, uplifting, and spritual. I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but pray as well.

ETA
I'm mad that no one else took the time out to respond to your post. You obviously need words of encouragement and love.

 

[locabouthair]

Aww, I'm sorry to hear you didn't enjoy your Valentine's day.

My friend has a bad vday too. She was supposed to go out with this guy she's dating and he never called

I know you've heard this before but you have your whole life ahead of you. When I was in college, I wish I didnt stress myself about guys. I'm glad you didnt go over and see your ex. You knew what he wanted and realized you didnt just want sex. You made the right decision.

I agree with everything amwcah said.

 

[LadyCee]

Im sorry you are feelin this way. i can totally relate to where you are coming from. guys can be very hard to understand. im saying you should just try your best to focus on you and only YOU! i know its easier said than done but keep doing it and eventally itll become a habit. try not to stress over guys. it may be hard seeing your friends and all but remind yourself its never good to settle you know why because you are too GOOD! I myself am feeling like im in a rut at this moment but u seriously cant let them to get to you. i say do you hun. i hope you feel better it always helps me to take a hot shower and listen to music. i hope you feel better soon keep us updated.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I give up. It's not that right thing to think, but I don't think I'm good enough. Right now I don't feel pretty enough, confident enough, apparently able bodied enough, or just enough. I felt so bad. I stood in the mirror and just wished I could be on that Swan show or whatever. Change my whole outer appearance. Gain a few inches. Maybe then I would get noticed.... . When I was younger my mother always asked me to wait on dating until I was of age. Now I am of age and still no one would even give me a chance with a ten foot pole. *sigh* I wish people would see the person I see in the mirror.....on my good days.

Oh and congrats to my bff. She's engaged!!

Well if you keep thinking like that, you'll be a regular at the cat adoption center well into old age.

If you think defeat, that's the nail in the coffin.

I didn't have a date for V-day. I've been single well over a year. But today was a VERY VERY good day for me. Two of my favorite sports teams won. The moral, If the dating scene looks dismal, get a life! Find a passion that will keep your mind off of relationships, believe me--I've been where you are. Love will come in time. Focus on YOU, build some confidence, love yourself. Here are some pointers...

1.) Get into the Rules thread. You don't have to follow the Rules, but it will help you realize that finding the RIGHT guy is worth the wait. Your ex cheated...you are better than that. You deserve better. If his new girl feels like that's the best she can get, well that speaks volumes about HER. Time to move on to better things. Next time you come across those two, smile, speak, laugh, and thank her for taking a loser off your hands. She did you a HUGE favor.

2.) Get some self esteem. No amount of a conventionally "pretty" outside will make you feel better inside. If you think you're hot stuff, others will see it and pick up on it. If you give off the vibe of insecurity, you'll only come across men who will use you.

3.) Write down what you are looking for in a guy. Afterwards make a promise to yourself that you will not settle until you find him--and you WILL find him. But also promise yourself that in the meantime you will focus on improving yourself so that when you do find him, you will be capable of making him as happy as he will make you. Would it be fair for you to find Mr. Right, and then have your insecurities and past relationship drama rub off on him?

4.) Next time you are stuck with an "annoying" date, make the best of it. Your friend seems "silly", let him be "silly" and laugh with him. When you start to turn negatives into positive, your outlook will change, and you'll become more attractive to the people around you.

5.) Lastly, realize that there's nothing wrong with having fun by yourself. I stayed home and watched the game by myself. It was calm, aside from my screaming, and I was comfortable with no one to bother me. Stop the self pity. You could have curled up on the couch today with a good book, or watched a good movie while eating take out. Find some single girls to accompany you out on the town next time.

Yes, we all get lonely...I have my days. But if you want something in your life, you need to think it's possible. You WILL find someone, now it's just a matter of waiting for it to happen. Until then enjoy your LIFE. If you're going to be tied down well into old age with Mr. Right, girl have fun being single, selfish, and care free right now!

Hope you feel better.

 

[Cincysweetie]

Girl get a grip and quit being so woe-is-me-ish!!!

You won't be alone forever. Valentine's Day is so not that serious. It's one day a year and it's not worth being depressed over. The true meaning of Valentine's Day is about love. Please do not forget that you are loved by the most important and the most high EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR. God. You have to get to a point where you realize God's love if enough. Next V-Day if you are alone...take yourself out, buy yourself some flowers, make yourself a nice dinner, or spend it with your loved ones. Whatever you do, DON'T sit at home and sulk over what you don't have.

 

[phynestone]

Oh SK....

I know how you feel, I really do. No one is checking for you or telling you that you're beautiful...it doesn't change the fact that you are. The ex knows he's wrong, the girl he's currently with KNOWS she's wrong and that's why she couldn't look you in the eye. In the end, you will come out on top.

Vday (even though I enjoy it from time to time) is just another way for retailers to make money. That's all. I really think you need to take some time and do you.

 

[TCatt86]

Hey SK keep your head up. I know it is hard to believe but not having a date on Valentines Day is not the end of the world. I got a lot of homework done yesterday and I kind of forgot what day it was. My point is you have to focus on other things keep your mind busy and PLEASE sweetie stop contacting your ex you are playing with your emotions when you do that.

 

[vestaluv1]

Girl... you're only 21 right?!
You have ages to find someone... or should I say, for someone to find you.
Enjoy being young and single... TRUST ME!

 

[trenise]

Awwww SK, I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. I think I really understand how you feel. But even if you never get a man in your life, don't focus on being "enough" for another person. No matter what someone tells you about your appearance, or whatever, know that you are beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of your creator. He knows you and your potential. You're in school right? Focus on your education, knowing your God given purpose, and where you want to be in the future. Where do you want to be at 35 or 40. The decisions you make now and the associations that interfere with your purpose now can have long term effects. If you are to have a man, he will find you.

 

[The Princess]

Girl, its so much more to life, once you ready you will see it. When I broke up with my ex, I thought it was the end of the world...But I start being to myself then one day I woke up and the sun was shinning, and I felt good, I feel good, being by myself, making my own rules, do what I want to do, not having to call and ask hey let do this, only to hear him say, I don't feel like it. I do what I want to to when I want. You don't need anyone to validate you, look in the mirror and smile, and love yourself, do what makes you happy. Trust this didn't come in one day, it was a few months. I used to text and sobb for him to come back, then I realize I was being pathetic. I started loving myself, and spoiling myself, and im happier than ever before..
I went to the grocery store and saw people buying balloons, stuffed animals and it didn't phase me at all. I take care of me and im happy..

I know you heard it all before, but things happen for a reason, take this time to love yourself, like really, find what you like to do, and enjoy the time alone, you will be suprised what make you happy and you will realize you did it without a MAN...

Also you stated that the dude ask you for sex, your ex im assumming...Do you really want a dude like that, he has a GF and asking you for sex...Imagine if that was you the (GF) and he asking another chic for sex...When she find out...wow I feel sorry for him....

 

[Mimi22]

Girl u cannot be serious?!
U miss ur ex? The one who ONLY wanted ur nookie? Nothing more? No love, no committment...nada...
Ole Retard might be a valentine, but laugh with it than go against the tide. Ur ex is a bastard! yeh i said it...and what? lol

Jus pray for something 1000 times better! The guy who will MAKE LOVE to u and cherish u and be loyal to u no matter what happens. Thats the guy who will make u wonder why the fudge u even wasted ur tears on that ex-douchebag!

C'mon SK, u are wonderfully made; bright, sexy with an amazing personality! Dont let anyone make u settle! Yuh hear me chile?!!

Aight...i done...

 

[Likeyouneverseenme]

You need to dump your looser friend. If he is that retarded and annoying, then why are you hanging out with him?
I say it's better to be alone that to hang out with people who annoy you.
You are clearly still trying to get over your ex. Don't worry about guys before you've gotten him out of your system. Take time to be alone, and like the other ladies mentioned, focus on school.
There will be other guys, trust me. An since you're still missing your ex, people migt get the vibe that you are not available or interested.
Look out for number 1 first, guys will come and go.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I really hate my posts like these. Makes me feel like attention whore. Kanye West in the making lol. But yall I had to get it all out. I actually do feel like this a lot. More than a lot.

It doesn't make it better when everyone around me, people are going on with life, being happy and I'm constantly down in the dumps. I always thought my college life would be different from this, but it's in fact worse. It's not the fact it is Valentine's Day. It's the fact that this is everyday of my life INCLUDING Valentine's Day. I was determined to go out and have FUN this Valentine's Day. I just knew if I didn't take matters into my own hands, my day would be just like my birthday. Full of krap and ended with me lying in my bed for hours at a time crying. Sooooo I took matters in my hands, went out, tried to have fun, but that ish just made everything even worse. And I still feel like krap. I've tried everything. I'm just now getting out of the bed since I made that post earlier.

I just feel like no one listens to me at times. I can say I feel alone, life is unfair, what can I do to stop being like this, yada yada, but all I here is suck it up and help me pick out an outfit for my date. I try it all. Talking to friends, talking to parents, reading my Bible....and all i feel like is throwing this Bible across the room and breaking the wall because I hear my suitemate talking about all the wonderful things she got and what she did on Vday...AHHHHHHh

I'm going back to sleep. No more negativity. Goodnight

ETA: OH AND THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REPLIED!! I love you guys so much!! Honestly! I'll thank whenever I'm back

 

[january noir]

Girl get a grip and quit being so woe-is-me-ish!!!

You won't be alone forever. Valentine's Day is so not that serious. It's one day a year and it's not worth being depressed over. The true meaning of Valentine's Day is about love. Please do not forget that you are loved by the most important and the most high EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR. God. You have to get to a point where you realize God's love if enough. Next V-Day if you are alone...take yourself out, buy yourself some flowers, make yourself a nice dinner, or spend it with your loved ones. Whatever you do, DON'T sit at home and sulk over what you don't have.

Great words to live by. SK, when you first joined LHCF, your avatar was a smiling, happy young lady. Now, I see a sad, sad face. What happened? From most of your accounts, you have sooooo much going for you and that doesn't stop just because you don't have some man all up in your face.

Come on. Let's snap out of this like Cincy says. VD is just that. A day that retailers look forward to to sell candy, flowers and cheap stuffed animals. Girl, get your own flowers and buy your own Godiva's. I know that you do for yourself already and no amount of retail therapy can make you happy.

You have to be happy with and by yourself. Alone. Not until that happens, will the universe grant you your desire for a partner.

Trust and believe, enjoy your singledom. I yearn for it every now and then (more now than then) because RELATIONSHIPS are HARD... HARD, I tell ya. I've had plenty of practice and I'm still struggling to just not throw in the towel and stay single forever.

Chin up woman and change that avatar back to the smiling face I remember fondly.

 

[ArrrBeee]

I really hate my posts like these. Makes me feel like attention whore. Kanye West in the making lol. But yall I had to get it all out. I actually do feel like this a lot. More than a lot.

It doesn't make it better when everyone around me, people are going on with life, being happy and I'm constantly down in the dumps. I always thought my college life would be different from this, but it's in fact worse. It's not the fact it is Valentine's Day. It's the fact that this is everyday of my life INCLUDING Valentine's Day. I was determined to go out and have FUN this Valentine's Day. I just knew if I didn't take matters into my own hands, my day would be just like my birthday. Full of krap and ended with me lying in my bed for hours at a time crying. Sooooo I took matters in my hands, went out, tried to have fun, but that ish just made everything even worse. And I still feel like krap. I've tried everything. I'm just now getting out of the bed since I made that post earlier.


I just feel like no one listens to me at times. I can say I feel alone, life is unfair, what can I do to stop being like this, yada yada, but all I here is suck it up and help me pick out an outfit for my date. I try it all. Talking to friends, talking to parents, reading my Bible....and all i feel like is throwing this Bible across the room and breaking the wall because I hear my suitemate talking about all the wonderful things she got and what she did on Vday...AHHHHHHh

I'm going back to sleep. No more negativity. Goodnight

ETA: OH AND THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REPLIED!! I love you guys so much!! Honestly! I'll thank whenever I'm back

You have to learn to do you! To reiterate on what some of the other posters said, V-day is a way for retailers to make money.

If you are not feeling like you are worthy of anyone, why would anyone feel worthy of loving you. You must learn to love yourself, enjoy your own company and find things to do (beside school) to occupy your time. Get the focus off of yourself.

Don't you know that sharks are attracted to blood. Right now you are bleeding insecurity and you are shark bait. If you stay in this state, you will attract some fool who is about some bull (ie-ex boyfriend).

What is your passion? If it is animals, go volunteer at a shelter. Do you like old people? Go spend some time at a nursing home. Ask the social worker there about the residents who never have visitors. Old people can drop a lot of knowledge on ya.

Being married/in a relationship is not the be all end all. I have been married for almost 12 years and it is not a walk in the park. Matter of fact, I spent most of my V-day in class and alone. I bought myself some tulips-because they were pretty and I deserved them. I treated myself to a nice sushi lunch. I didn't spend not one minute thinking about what could or should be. I took the day for what it was and I drank in the fact that I am alive, healthy, happy, and most importantly a child of God.

If I sound harsh, I apologize . I have been where you are and I never want to go back.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Great words to live by. SK, when you first joined LHCF, your avatar was a smiling, happy young lady. Now, I see a sad, sad face. What happened? From most of your accounts, you have sooooo much going for you and that doesn't stop just because you don't have some man all up in your face.

Come on. Let's snap out of this like Cincy says. VD is just that. A day that retailers look forward to to sell candy, flowers and cheap stuffed animals. Girl, get your own flowers and buy your own Godiva's. I know that you do for yourself already and no amount of retail therapy can make you happy.

You have to be happy with and by yourself. Alone. Not until that happens, will the universe grant you your desire for a partner.

Trust and believe, enjoy your singledom. I yearn for it every now and then (more now than then) because RELATIONSHIPS are HARD... HARD, I tell ya. I've had plenty of practice and I'm still struggling to just not throw in the towel and stay single forever.

Chin up woman and change that avatar back to the smiling face I remember fondly.

Man it scares me, but as the days continue, I see myself smile less and less. Or it's forced. It's like I'm losing my identity, because that's what people know identify me by. The story behind that avatar is that someone told me I should change my av. I change it like I change draws haha . I took pics for like 20 minutes, and couldn't even force myself to smile. So I settled for the pic u see now.

That's why I closed my blog. It is a sea of negativity, uncertainty, and sadness. I lot of people read it, because it's real. But it's also REAL sad .

BUT.... Today is a new day. Me feeling sorry for myself is making me feel even worse... AND I need to get a grip.... This whole lil sea of depression is doing very very bad for my friendships...and school. *sigh* I am soooo bitter and envious lately of all my friends whose life seems to be going so perfectly. I'm sittin under the dryer right now....so I'll prolly finish my hair and go on a walk.

I think I am depressed seriously. It runs in my fam....but no one ever believes me.. . I work really close to Counseling Services on campus, so if I were to tell them I were depressed...my job might get taken away...so I just....keep it to myself.

 

[Rastafarai]

I think I am depressed seriously. It runs in my fam....but no one ever believes me.. . I work really close to Counseling Services on campus, so if I were to tell them I were depressed...my job might get taken away...so I just....keep it to myself.

I also sense that you are clinically depressed. Is it possible to check with a local physician outside of your University and get the right prescription for you?

NEVER hide depression . It will take its toll if you do not do something for you, immediately.

Please seek for help outside your campus, if at all possible.

Sending a prayer up for you.

 

[january noir]

I also sense that you are clinically depressed. Is it possible to check with a local physician outside of your University and get the right prescription for you?

NEVER hide depression . It will take its toll if you do not do something for you, immediately.

Please seek for help outside your campus, if at all possible.

Sending a prayer up for you.

Listen to Rastafari SK. I think she's right.

 

[january noir]

Man it scares me, but as the days continue, I see myself smile less and less. Or it's forced. It's like I'm losing my identity, because that's what people know identify me by. The story behind that avatar is that someone told me I should change my av. I change it like I change draws haha . I took pics for like 20 minutes, and couldn't even force myself to smile. So I settled for the pic u see now.

That's why I closed my blog. It is a sea of negativity, uncertainty, and sadness. I lot of people read it, because it's real. But it's also REAL sad .

BUT.... Today is a new day. Me feeling sorry for myself is making me feel even worse... AND I need to get a grip.... This whole lil sea of depression is doing very very bad for my friendships...and school. *sigh* I am soooo bitter and envious lately of all my friends whose life seems to be going so perfectly. I'm sittin under the dryer right now....so I'll prolly finish my hair and go on a walk.

I think I am depressed seriously. It runs in my fam....but no one ever believes me.. . I work really close to Counseling Services on campus, so if I were to tell them I were depressed...my job might get taken away...so I just....keep it to myself.

Why would they take your job away? I would think they would be more sympathetic to your situation. Again, agreeing with Rastafarai, please seek help. You deserve to feel better. The sooner, the better.

 

[ArrrBeee]

Man it scares me, but as the days continue, I see myself smile less and less. Or it's forced. It's like I'm losing my identity, because that's what people know identify me by. The story behind that avatar is that someone told me I should change my av. I change it like I change draws haha . I took pics for like 20 minutes, and couldn't even force myself to smile. So I settled for the pic u see now.

That's why I closed my blog. It is a sea of negativity, uncertainty, and sadness. I lot of people read it, because it's real. But it's also REAL sad .

BUT.... Today is a new day. Me feeling sorry for myself is making me feel even worse... AND I need to get a grip.... This whole lil sea of depression is doing very very bad for my friendships...and school. *sigh* I am soooo bitter and envious lately of all my friends whose life seems to be going so perfectly. I'm sittin under the dryer right now....so I'll prolly finish my hair and go on a walk.

I think I am depressed seriously. It runs in my fam....but no one ever believes me.. . I work really close to Counseling Services on campus, so if I were to tell them I were depressed...my job might get taken away...so I just....keep it to myself.

Do not keep depression to yourself. Many times in our culture we tend to neglect our mental health. If you are afraid to seek services at school, see if there is a church nearby that might have a group. You may need to look outside your denomination.

 

[Sasha Fierce]

Well I hope this won't make you feel bad but I have to tell you about my Valentine's Day yesterday because it was THE BEST V-DAY EVER!

I was dressed to the nines. Had on tights, ankle length boots, a cute baby doll sweater dress, a nice little cardigan and the right jewelry to set it all off.

Had lunch at a nice little restaurant. My companion came along with me to prep for a little hobby I'm taking on. Then we enjoyed a great movie later that evening.

Who was my companion you ask?

My homegirl from up the block!

We had lunch, shopped, and went to see a movie with one of my other homegirls around the way!

Why did I put so much effort into looking nice? Well I wanted to look good for my valentine.

Who was my Valentine?

Me! Sasha Fierce! LOL


I know I'm being silly but what I'm trying to tell you is that when I put the focus on me instead of someone else, I had an absolute great time. And I can honestly say that I feel ya because I have mouthed some of those same words that you said above. I felt I was never gonna meet anyone. Felt that I actually was not good enough. Over the years I come to find you will meet guys in places and times you would never think of. They do come around. Trust me. Now my problem is that I only seem to meet the Sam Sausage Head variety of men that I need to kick to the curb more sooner than later! I had a guy friend from another town who promised to come down and see me for V day if he could square away some family issues. Do you think I sat around and waited on his "might get a chance to get there"? Nope! I kept it movin.

I was feeling down on myself and felt I had every right to be down on me. I need to lose 5 pounds so that my jeans fit okay. My skin is not in the greatest condition right now. And for some unknown ungodly reason, I had a small patch of hair fall out at my hairline. *gasp* (LHCF sidenote: It's growing back though and my doc says everything is just fine with me. Could have been my stylist but who knows?). Plus my stylist butchered my hair about a month a go so I have been less than stellar.

But with a change in attitude, I got up on Saturday morning and turned it all around. I was always okay I just needed to get right in the head. Yesterday I got hit on by men and complimented by women on various aspects of my appearance. I even thought the world saw me as a mess but that was only when I went around feeling a mess.

My new hobby? Sewing I want to start learning to make clothes that are just right for me and my donk, lol! Look for ways to make you better instead of making you worse like the stankin thankin (interpretation: stinking thinking). So look around at what you do have. Start to be thankful for that. Go from there bay-bay. Stay encouraged.

Psalm 27:13

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.

 

[january noir]

Well I hope this won't make you feel bad but I have to tell you about my Valentine's Day yesterday because it was THE BEST V-DAY EVER!

I was dressed to the nines. Had on tights, ankle length boots, a cute baby doll sweater dress, a nice little cardigan and the right jewelry to set it all off.

Had lunch at a nice little restaurant. My companion came along with me to prep for a little hobby I'm taking on. Then we enjoyed a great movie later that evening.

Who was my companion you ask?

My homegirl from up the block!

We had lunch, shopped, and went to see a movie with one of my other homegirls around the way!

Why did I put so much effort into looking nice? Well I wanted to look good for my valentine.

Who was my Valentine?

Me! Sasha Fierce! LOL


I know I'm being silly but what I'm trying to tell you is that when I put the focus on me instead of someone else, I had an absolute great time. And I can honestly say that I feel ya because I have mouthed some of those same words that you said above. I felt I was never gonna meet anyone. Felt that I actually was not good enough. Over the years I come to find you will meet guys in places and times you would never think of. They do come around. Trust me. Now my problem is that I only seem to meet the Sam Sausage Head variety of men that I need to kick to the curb more sooner than later! I had a guy friend from another town who promised to come down and see me for V day if he could square away some family issues. Do you think I sat around and waited on his "might get a chance to get there"? Nope! I kept it movin.

I was feeling down on myself and felt I had every right to be down on me. I need to lose 5 pounds so that my jeans fit okay. My skin is not in the greatest condition right now. And for some unknown ungodly reason, I had a small patch of hair fall out at my hairline. *gasp* (LHCF sidenote: It's growing back though and my doc says everything is just fine with me. Could have been my stylist but who knows?). Plus my stylist butchered my hair about a month a go so I have been less than stellar.

But with a change in attitude, I got up on Saturday morning and turned it all around. I was always okay I just needed to get right in the head. Yesterday I got hit on by men and complimented by women on various aspects of my appearance. I even thought the world saw me as a mess but that was only when I went around feeling a mess.

My new hobby? Sewing I want to start learning to make clothes that are just right for me and my donk, lol! Look for ways to make you better instead of making you worse like the stankin thankin (interpretation: stinking thinking). So look around at what you do have. Start to be thankful for that. Go from there bay-bay. Stay encouraged.

Psalm 27:13

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.

I love your post. We all know we wear our misery on our faces and our non-verbals. People pick up negative vibes from others.

I think that when SK gets some help for her depression, she will be able to do what you and other women do. SK's feelings go beyond Valentine's Day.

 

[Filmatic]

I know you are feeling down, but I remember when I saw your avatar for the first time and thought, "Wow she's a really pretty lady." Don't get down on yourself. I've been single for over a year by choice and I have enjoyed it.

Take time to be yourself and get yourself together. If you think you are depressed get help. You can call 411(it's free) and they will tell you where you can get low cost or even free counseling. They can also put you in touch with people if you just want to talk on the phone. You DON'T have to feel like this.

Also just because you don't have a man, doesn't make you less than. I like Sasha made sure that I looked good yesterday. I make sure I look good everyday. And I can tell you, men see confidence and like it. I have had many men tried to get with me while I have been on dating hiatus.

Yes, I have had my lonely times, but I stopped it by getting a life. I started a garden, I started training for a 5k. I got a kungfu rabbit and walked him on a leash. Focusing on me allowed me to move out of MN and get a brand new job opportunity. So focus on you, not a man. They'll always be around anyway.

 

[NYAmicas]

I dont have any advice to offer SK, only Hugs. Im sorry that your V. Day was like that and Im mad at your ex. Im glad you didnt fall for his okie doke! How dare he ask you for sex and the next day he's with the female he cheated with. Looks like dogs cant change their spots, you dont deserve that.

 

[MissYocairis]

Oh honey! It will not always be this way. Look forward. Look to your future with hope and faith. I am pasting the link to BScott's "He's your Ex for a REASON" here because I think it might cheer you up a little. He's funny but inspiring. FORWARD EVER, BACKWARD NEVER. Keep your head up, sis.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrkrf...e=channel_page

 

[Sasha Fierce]

I love your post. We all know we wear our misery on our faces and our non-verbals. People pick up negative vibes from others.

I think that when SK gets some help for her depression, she will be able to do what you and other women do. SK's feelings go beyond Valentine's Day.

You are right JN. I understand these feelings for SK must go beyond a single day just by some of the wording she used. I'm 26 but when I was her age (I'm guessing 20 or 21) I was in a serious depression. 3 of the last 5 years in my college career I was depressed and the first two years was leading up to it. I sought professional help and it was a blessing for me. I highly recommend it.

SK you should have access to counseling services right on your college campus. This is where I found my counselor and she was a tremendous blessing to me.