Hairsnob
Deep Thinker
My ex-fiancé from my early 20's was a dreamer. He was fun, attractive, strong, helped with the cooking and cleaning occasionally and we did a lot of fun things together. I never once pressed him to get married but he proposed just because all of his friends were getting engaged/married.
He wasn't as motivated career-wise and the more my career and education advanced, the more he resented me because he had a mediocre job even though he'd dream about what he wanted to do for a living. He started acting up right after the engagement. All of a sudden this fun loving guy started cheating. Then he became verbally abusive, started destroying my belongings and then he became physically abusive. It was over after the physical abuse but I regret staying too long dealing with the verbal. He was a loser with low self-esteem and I was young and "still learning"
.
He'd call me a stupid B**** and I'd call him a P**** in return thinking I was tough just because I said it back. Lesson learned: the first man to call me out of my name will not get called one back, he'd get shown the door. Once, he picked up my new VCR and dropped it on the floor right in front of me because he was jealous that my brother bought it for me. And the stitch mark on my forehead is a constant reminder that I will never disregard the abusive signs again. I'm a tough girl and if you hit me you're getting hit back no matter how big you are so I gave him a pretty good mark on the top of his head after I bashed him in the head with a house phone in self defense. Being a tough girl means nothing because we could have killed each other if we stayed together.
He's still working mediocre jobs and he never married. I'm surprised he's not in jail because I'm sure the abuse probably continued with other women but I have no idea.
So yeah, knowing what I know now, I would have never looked his way. It explains why I don't give guys that show any signs of those same insecurities even a second glance. My friends say I'm too picky because I won't date a guy who is not at or above the same career level as me and I really don't care what they say because I'm so jaded from that. Yeah, all guys are not the same and are not insecure but still.
He wasn't as motivated career-wise and the more my career and education advanced, the more he resented me because he had a mediocre job even though he'd dream about what he wanted to do for a living. He started acting up right after the engagement. All of a sudden this fun loving guy started cheating. Then he became verbally abusive, started destroying my belongings and then he became physically abusive. It was over after the physical abuse but I regret staying too long dealing with the verbal. He was a loser with low self-esteem and I was young and "still learning"
.He'd call me a stupid B**** and I'd call him a P**** in return thinking I was tough just because I said it back. Lesson learned: the first man to call me out of my name will not get called one back, he'd get shown the door. Once, he picked up my new VCR and dropped it on the floor right in front of me because he was jealous that my brother bought it for me. And the stitch mark on my forehead is a constant reminder that I will never disregard the abusive signs again. I'm a tough girl and if you hit me you're getting hit back no matter how big you are so I gave him a pretty good mark on the top of his head after I bashed him in the head with a house phone in self defense. Being a tough girl means nothing because we could have killed each other if we stayed together.
He's still working mediocre jobs and he never married. I'm surprised he's not in jail because I'm sure the abuse probably continued with other women but I have no idea.
So yeah, knowing what I know now, I would have never looked his way. It explains why I don't give guys that show any signs of those same insecurities even a second glance. My friends say I'm too picky because I won't date a guy who is not at or above the same career level as me and I really don't care what they say because I'm so jaded from that. Yeah, all guys are not the same and are not insecure but still.
came knocking. Since then I look back at that relationship and shake my head and asking myself what the heck was I thinking. And also thanking the Lord fervently that he never asked. I would have been so miserable, so depressed and not be the fabulous, well traveled, and confident person I am today. 
Say it ain't so. No one would blame you if chose to hate this man but hatred would hurt you more than him. Good thing you let go.
if I ever saw him again.
...
I would probably be bored mentally but taken care of sexually. We both would've been cheaters tbh. 
my life wouldve been hell and I would've died young. 
I would be in jail literally this moment had I of stayed. 
