Thank you so much for your support, it truly means a lot. I will surely take the time, starting next year, to read this entire thread.
I did not keep them in for very long. Partially because a salty lady at my job made some mean comments, but also because I'm dealing with porosity on some parts of my hair. Which means that on certain areas, the coils wouldn't hold sorta say. Don't know how to remedy this problem just yet.
And indeed you're right, I need to think long and hard about this lifetime commitment, but I L-O-V-E making lifetime commitments with my hair
. But I'll be sure to inform myself extremely well and then go for it. .
I watched a lady here make jokes about the preconceived notions people have of her, because she sports locs. Not sure if I'd be able to see the humor in it and grow thick skin, I'm rather sensitive in that regard. Any tips on that? TIA.
Wait, what??? In this thread or another thread on the board? Because I didn't get that from any of the posts in this thread.
I'm sorry you're going through that and dealing with these issues and ignorance. People always ask me about this, and I always tell them building confidence can be hard. It's hard, but it's necessary. It's twice as hard to build self-confidence when you come from an environment where no one has laid the groundwork to help you build confidence in yourself.
So with that being said, positive affirmations are good to use and do. If you Google the terms 'positive affirmations to build self-confidence' there is so much there. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Certain songs also help. I know when Erykah Badu dropped "Mama's Gun" and I had a chance to listen to it, "Cleva" became and still is one of my favorite songs from that album. That whole album is fire, but "Cleva" really spoke to me in terms of the negative things people may see, but there's beauty in all those negative things and it's up to us to bring it out.
The greater message that I took from that is that even if others don't accept me, it's okay because I accept me. Others don't have to see my beauty but as long as I see it, that's ok. But I'm not going to let them win and put myself down to make them feel better.
I love "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars also.
There are messages in each of those songs, but you have to be open (heart and mind) to receiving it.
I said it in this thread before, but I will say it again: keep in mind that a lot of times people won't compliment you on something, such as your hair (since we're talking about hair, but it can be anything) for several reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you or your choices. There have been plenty of times I have been guilty of this in the past. I will want to compliment someone on something, but I just don't say anything and let the moment pass. I have stopped doing that over the past couple years, though. That's just one example, but there are countless other examples I can discuss.
Looking at images of women who have locks is also an amazing tool. I have said it before in this thread, but I immerse myself in images of locks and converse with like-minded women every day on social media.
If you like poetry (and even if you don't
get into "Ego Tripping" by Nikki Giovanni. I love her work.
And of course this is one of my favorite episodes and scenes from "A Different World":
Black women are so beautiful. WE are beautiful!
I know I said a lot here, but I can go on with more ideas in another post if you'd like.