Light Skinned Men vs. Dark Skinned Men: What's Your Preference?

[bravenewgirl87]

Girl yes!! That is why I LOVE chocolate complexions. There's nothing like a dark chocolate smooth creamy complexion. I had a friend that was like that. He was so sexy. God Rest His Soul.

God rest his soul? I guess thats why you said you had a friend like that.

 

[cocoberry10]

I'm slap happy right now (I've been up for now 24 hours)

I'll bite.

Dark men are hot.
Light men are hot.

Heck I just don't care

Its about how well he treats me, respects me, and loves /likes me that counts.
My SO is mighty white, but frankly I wouldn't care if he was the color of midnight either.

Long as he not ugly its on baby!


-A

To your bolded: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Beauty knows no "complexion", IMO.

 

[cocoberry10]

Well if you're hot, then you're hot. I don't discriminate. But I prefer my men sexy and chocolate. But I always attract and end up dating light skin men.

I'm sure you have no problem attracting any man you want, hon

Yeah, I must agree with B (hope you don't mind that nickname Blossssom ).

Guys in my community would call you "sexy chocolate" Bmore!

 

[cocoberry10]

I agree with the bolded - I'm dark skin and I've always preferred light skin guys. and as of late only light skin guys have been showing the sister some interest....

Girl, it's that LOA (law of attraction) thing. I really believe that's the real deal! LOA is a powerful mutha*****

 

[cocoberry10]

In my experience, It is rare to see younger dark skin men and women together. Most of the dark skin guys in my area either date white or light skin women.

Where are you located, if you don't mind me asking?

I'm a darker (browner/darker) woman, and I've dated both. I hear this, and have even seen it, but my experience has not been that one or the other likes me more. I think those that have a strong preference don't date what they don't want to date.

But I have noticed that most of the guys I've dated have had that "pretty boy" look (light or dark).

I usually get a tall, dark-skinned, beautiful complexion (hershey kiss skin) guy with a bald head or a tall, light skinned boy with beige, honey, or caramel skin that's crystal clear and usually bald or close cropped hair. Some on both ends of the spectrum have light eyes, some don't. I guess we can't determine who we attract, they just come to us???

 

[cocoberry10]

my preference is fine men!! I dont care about the complexion as long as they look good

Amen! I agree

 

[glamazon386]

God rest his soul? I guess thats why you said you had a friend like that.

Yeah he got killed a little over 2 years ago. He got a new car and the same night somebody stole it and doubled back (while driving his car) and shot him while he was walking down the street. I loved me some Eric. I miss him so much.

 

[cocoberry10]

It's called divide and conquer and blacks have fallen for it ever since coming here.

Amen, tell it! Preach bishop preach. You need to replace some of those scandalous ministers!

 

[cocoberry10]

I dont have a preference...i like the healthy glow of dark skin but that wont make me go after him I dont have a preference I just like nice skin.

Yeah, nice skin is a must for me. Maybe b/c I have nice skin (and many guys that approach me say so )

 

[glamazon386]

Yeah, I must agree with B (hope you don't mind that nickname Blossssom ).

Guys in my community would call you "sexy chocolate" Bmore!

LOL Yeah I get that. All the men I've ever been approached by love my complexion. But it's weird bc almost all of the men I've dated (with the exception of the current guy and the older guy I was talking to a few months ago) have been light skinned with type 2/3 hair and usually light eyes. That's just what I attract. Anybody who approaches me and is attractive, charming, and doing something with their life I'll pretty much talk to but seems like that's all I would get. Even though that wasn't my preference. IDK why... and then it's always like I'm the "token darkie" to them. I get the whole "I've never dated a dark skinned girl before you, but you were so pretty I couldn't help myself." or "You're exotic looking" erplexed

 

[cocoberry10]

I like and have dated men of all shades. My SO is biracial and he's very light-skinned. I'm light brown skinned. I have learned that the light skinned darkskinned thing is just as hurtful to men as it is to women, so I try not to be in the mindset that one is more attractive than the other.

Can you elaborate?

 

[seraphinelle]

LOL Yeah I get that. All the men I've ever been approached by love my complexion. But it's weird bc almost all of the men I've dated (with the exception of the current guy and the older guy I was talking to a few months ago) have been light skinned with type 2/3 hair and usually light eyes. That's just what I attract. Anybody who approaches me and is attractive, charming, and doing something with their life I'll pretty much talk to but seems like that's all I would get. Even though that wasn't my preference. IDK why... and then it's always like I'm the "token darkie" to them. I get the whole "I've never dated a dark skinned girl before you, but you were so pretty I couldn't help myself." or "You're exotic looking" erplexed

See that would offend me.

Don't use me to fill your quotas or so that you can feel better about yourself.

SMH

Cute afro puff BTW.

 

[glamazon386]

See that would offend me.

Don't use me to fill your quotas or so that you can feel better about yourself.

SMH

Cute afro puff BTW.

Thanks! Yeah it bothered me too. And it seems like their gfs after that were always dark skinned and I'd be like HEY!! That's why I shut men down when they start that whole "you look exotic" where's your family from? mess. I'm regular black from Baltimore thank you. I didn't start getting that until maybe a year or two ago. Maybe we can thank music videos for that?

 

[Covergirl5906]

I really don't care...though I prefer guys with some color over really pale guys....really as long as he is has a good heart, fine and smells good it's all good...

 

[thiccknlong]

I prefer light skinned guys. didnt notice this at first but over the years it became obvious

even more than a light skin guy, is a nice, spiritial, mature guy.

Would I marry a dark guy ? Nope, I doubt it. If he's not light but had all the qualities I wanted, yes. It's called, having less drama in your life. A bunch of kids or 2,3 baby mama's or no direction or career, or a ho-ish lifestyle is just plain ole drama.

and i'm allergic to drama. i will confront issues to stimulate thought, but i dont like drama.

 

[spelmanlocks]

Can you elaborate?

I see it in my boyfriend who has had some black women reject him on the basis of his being too light skinned. He's just told me how at the time it really hurt to hear someone say I don't like light skinned men, instead of considering him as a whole person (based off what he's told me the poll results aren't surprising either). But I'm glad they rejected him, because that left him open for me to scoop up.

Also I just think men are just as sensitive as women they just cover it up better. I know too many very lightskinned and very darkskinned men who've been ridiculed for their skin tone. I also believe it may be part of the reason why really darkskinned men go for lighter skinned girls than themselves.

 

[thiccknlong]

I see it in my boyfriend who has had some black women reject him on the basis of his being too light skinned. He's just told me how at the time it really hurt to hear someone say I don't like light skinned men, instead of considering him as a whole person (based off what he's told me the poll results aren't surprising either). But I'm glad they rejected him, because that left him open for me to scoop up.

Also I just think men are just as sensitive as women they just cover it up better. I know too many very lightskinned and very darkskinned men who've been ridiculed for their skin tone. I also believe it may be part of the reason why really darkskinned men go for lighter skinned girls than themselves.

True, men are human also. I dated a guy who was realllly dark. He confided in my about how some ppl ridiculed him about his color. One was a former friend of mine. I couldnt be-lieve how she dissed or mistread him because of his skin color ! I guess I'd seen some other things in her that i didnt like is one reason why we are no longer friends. This just solidified it. Preference is one thing. Mistreating or embarrassing or disrespecting someone because of skin color, is downright WRONG !

 

[cocoberry10]

I prefer light skinned guys. didnt notice this at first but over the years it became obvious

even more than a light skin guy, is a nice, spiritial, mature guy.

Would I marry a dark guy ? Nope, I doubt it. If he's not light but had all the qualities I wanted, yes. It's called, having less drama in your life. A bunch of kids or 2,3 baby mama's or no direction or career, or a ho-ish lifestyle is just plain ole drama.

and i'm allergic to drama. i will confront issues to stimulate thought, but i dont like drama.

Now, I don't usually call people out, because we are all entitled to our opinions. But after reading your post, I'm a little haunted (not trying to make this thread "heated," but it is what it is).

You seem to be one of the posters that takes the greatest issue with Black men and all their "issues," "preference" "hatred for Black women" and "destruction of the race," yet you said those things in bolded. And I believe in giving "evidence" when I call people out, so see below your posts and/or threads I am adding to my post. Please address, I'd definitely like clarification (and I'm not attacking you, but I'm a little concerned. I am sensing a little bit of hypocrisy on your part and I just need some clarification).

Also, are you insinuating that darker-skinned men tend to have more "drama" or "more baby mamas, etc." I would like that clarified too. Thanks.

80% of the black men I see are with any other race than a black women.

That is why i say the black man has failed the entire race.

It's already showing. On Oprah, she reported that 70, 70% of black females were single. Look at how many of them are dating other races. And please, PULL - LEEZE don't let him have a little $, or fame or position behind him, he is SURE to trade in a sista with a sista figure for a white or almost white women with a model thin figure.

if you think skin color doesn't matter to most black men, stop lying or wake up and smell the skunk that you've been walking over

Oh, and this second post I'm quoting is a thread YOU started.

Theres a thread about Black men not sweating us. And one guy mentioned Black men don't have what they need to save themselves. I disagree.

I have a question. Please answer objectively, not so much of what your nice husband is doing, or your nice father is doing, but what you've seen of black men as a whole....

Has Black men failed the Black race and the Black woman ?

I ask this because, I came for moreso of a middle class upbringing. But, from my neighborhood and other families I know about, most of the Black guys abused their wives, were very mean and controlling, cheated like it was a career, left there wives, had babies out of wedlock like its cool , etc. Several of the ones still with their wives have cheated so, SO much and so badly, I have no idea why the wife just...took it. To be honest, I only know of a simple few black men still with their wives, of which I haven't heard of anything severely bad about how they treated their wives.

My father beat my mom like a child. My sister's husband would go to work talking about her like a dog. My neighbor was dating some married man whose wife shot at her, but the neighbor still ended up takeing the husband from the wife...correction, the husband still left his wife. The lady down the street's husband has been cheating so long, I think she just forgot about it. His business is ALLLL over town. The lady across the street, when I visited her kids, some married guy used to come to her house and have "relations". I know cause her kids told me and heard them several times. I know I've been cheated on by all my boyfriends. My white friends who have dated black guys each have said what broke them was the black guy cheated, but all of their white boyfriends have not cheated (and yes, i know white boys cheat)...I could go on and on and ON...

To add to the pain, a few yrs ago, BLACK MEN HAD THE HIGHEST HIV RATE OF ANY OTHER RACE OR GENDER...And because so man black men screw around with 3,4, 5, 10 black women at a time....I'm sad to say ... ...they've given HIV to Black women and now BLACK WOMEN HAVE THE HIGHEST HIV RATE THAN ANY OTHER RACE OR GENDER...

Before, it was alot of them being lazy and not working, then it was the cheating and heartbrake many black women were subjected to, Then it was the babies outside the family , THEN it was the beating of us and beatin our azzes and leaving us with very few decent mates, NOW they are killing us.

I know white ppl don't live in a perfect world, no one does. BUT, as a whole, white men are aLOT more family oriented. They have more morals for marraige and believes in that institution, while many of our men are still coochie hunting, many white guys are in the office building working their 9-5 with their family pics on the cubicle table...most professional black men don't do that...well, the few prof black men there are...

Oh, and need I forget, when the Black men (many) have the fame and big dollars, they marry white. Scottie P, charles Barker, lord i could name sooooooooo many and there are still sooooooo many i don't know by name, but be sure if there pic is in Jet mag, and their wife is pictures, probably 80% of the time, she is NOT black. White. Latino. hispanic, asian, anything but us.

Its sad. I'm not hating. Not being mean. Just documenting SOME of what I know. And many of you know of similar or MORE than I've mentioned here, you just haven't laid it out or counted it up like I have. But all in all, i've seen such a STRONG PATTERN of severe negative treatment of black men onto black women and their lack of respect for marraige. Not isolated events, a STRONG PATTERN in different families, different social settings (college, church, friends fathers, family, work, yeah we only had 4 black guys in our dept and alllll 4 were cheating on their wives with females at work and doing it so disrespectfully that eeeeverybody knew about it), different geographical setting.

Although there are still some good black men out there, many are just...making things worse for us and the community.

Whats your take ?

 

[thiccknlong]

Now, I don't usually call people out, because we are all entitled to our opinions. But after reading your post, I'm a little haunted (not trying to make this thread "heated," but it is what it is).

You seem to be one of the posters that takes the greatest issue with Black men and all their "issues," "preference" "hatred for Black women" and "destruction of the race," yet you said those things in bolded. And I believe in giving "evidence" when I call people out, so see below your posts and/or threads I am adding to my post. Please address, I'd definitely like clarification (and I'm not attacking you, but I'm a little concerned. I am sensing a little bit of hypocrisy on your part and I just need some clarification).

Also, are you insinuating that darker-skinned men tend to have more "drama" or "more baby mamas, etc." I would like that clarified too. Thanks.



Oh, and this second post I'm quoting is a thread YOU started.

I didnt read it all, but to the bold, OH LORD NOOOOOOO ! Sorry, i hope it didnt read that way. My message was really the opposite. That no matter the color, i dont want the drama of the things mentioned. so, i'd pick a guy who DOES NOT carry that drama over color. Preference for a height, color, financial status is one thing. Stupidity is another.

 

[cocoberry10]

I didnt read it all, but to the bold, OH LORD NOOOOOOO ! Sorry, i hope it didnt read that way. My message was really the opposite. That no matter the color, i dont want the drama of the things mentioned. so, i'd pick a guy who DOES NOT carry that drama over color. Preference for a height, color, financial status is one thing. Stupidity is another.

Whew, I gotcha girly!

Thanks for the clarification. And I agree. I don't like drama either!

 

[thiccknlong]

Whew, I gotcha girly!

Thanks for the clarification. And I agree. I don't like drama either!

Girrrl, no. That would be CRAZY ! I've dated from verrrrry dark to verrrry lite. And, nothing replaces a good man. I know the physical attraction has to be there. But, I wouldnt deny a good guy, as long as i'm attracted. And his character is one factor of the attraction.

Now I DO take issue with the plight of the black male. Color of the black male, has no relevance. Many of them hurting themselves is bad enough. Now, alot are hurting the black female. There are some GOOD black males. I am fortunate to know some, thank God lol. But, to many are overshadowing the bad. And the bad have taken over.

Okay. I'm done lol

 

[ShaniKeys]

I'm really into Mos Def - Omar Epps - Taye Diggs kinda guys, but lately I've been noticing alot of cute lightskinned guys

 

[mzcris]

Hmmm...this is good! I prefer my men dark chocolate...but light/fair skinned brothers seem to gravitate to me. My skin toned is medium dark brown...but you know that is just the outside of a man the inside is what counts. My husband is not dark at all & it does not matter at all!

 

[rabs77]

Hi Blossssom,

Was going to wave to you in the other topic but you were too busy replying, LOL

My required list. (the concise edition, in no particular order)
Degree
nice teeth.
5'9 or above
Good credit
No children
No previous marriage

I also have a preference for engineers, don't know why, Just do.

You just described my boo down to a T(And we are both engineers)

 

[cocoberry10]

I see it in my boyfriend who has had some black women reject him on the basis of his being too light skinned. He's just told me how at the time it really hurt to hear someone say I don't like light skinned men, instead of considering him as a whole person (based off what he's told me the poll results aren't surprising either). But I'm glad they rejected him, because that left him open for me to scoop up.

Also I just think men are just as sensitive as women they just cover it up better. I know too many very lightskinned and very darkskinned men who've been ridiculed for their skin tone. I also believe it may be part of the reason why really darkskinned men go for lighter skinned girls than themselves.

Thanks for explaining. I totally agree with you. I know a lot of guys who were ridiculed for their complexion, light and dark. Some of these men (especially the darker ones) I notice, won't even date black women. This may be ONE (NOT THE ONLY) of the reasons we see the increase in interracial dating.

 

[thiccknlong]

Thanks for explaining. I totally agree with you. I know a lot of guys who were ridiculed for their complexion, light and dark. Some of these men (especially the darker ones) I notice, won't even date black women. This may be ONE (NOT THE ONLY) of the reasons we see the increase in interracial dating.[/quote]

For the bolded, i think some of that is an expression of self hatred and where some of it starts. No, all black guys with white or close to white SO's are not with them for self hatred. But, with this happening so often, especially the more $ they make or more power or fame, i think with some of them that are dark skinned, they dont like that complexion. because they begin to wish and covet the opposite, they pick someone who they can look upon and see what they want, and pick someone who will change the color of their children.

No, not with all. But, with many dark skinned brotha's , i do think so. usually, the guy who has white or almost white, interestingly, is not just black, but dark.

thats when one should not place their issues on others, but deal with them inside. i think if this were to happen, you'd have less color issues as opposed to mere preference.

 

[Bklynqueen]

Well if you're hot, then you're hot. I don't discriminate. But I prefer my men sexy and chocolate. But I always attract and end up dating light skin men.

Girl, me too..I don't know why that is. My first lover was like chocolate liquor and fine as wine and he turned me out! Love chocolate men to death, but always end up w/ the light skinned guys- I ain't mad though! Long as I'm treated respectfully and the attraction is there, it's all good w/ me.

 

[cocoberry10]

Thanks for explaining. I totally agree with you. I know a lot of guys who were ridiculed for their complexion, light and dark. Some of these men (especially the darker ones) I notice, won't even date black women. This may be ONE (NOT THE ONLY) of the reasons we see the increase in interracial dating..

For the bolded, i think some of that is an expression of self hatred and where some of it starts. No, all black guys with white or close to white SO's are not with them for self hatred. But, with this happening so often, especially the more $ they make or more power or fame, i think with some of them that are dark skinned, they dont like that complexion. because they begin to wish and covet the opposite, they pick someone who they can look upon and see what they want, and pick someone who will change the color of their children.

No, not with all. But, with many dark skinned brotha's , i do think so. usually, the guy who has white or almost white, interestingly, is not just black, but dark.

thats when one should not place their issues on others, but deal with them inside. i think if this were to happen, you'd have less color issues as opposed to mere preference.

I agree with you, but I do think it's all self-hatred. Because if you choose to be with someone of another race b/c you don't like your complexion, I think that's a form of self-hatred. And for some men, the only way they can get a non-black woman to marry them is if they have enough $$ to get the kind of woman they want!

 

[thiccknlong]

I agree with you, but I do think it's all self-hatred. Because if you choose to be with someone of another race b/c you don't like your complexion, I think that's a form of self-hatred. And for some men, the only way they can get a non-black woman to marry them is if they have enough $$ to get the kind of woman they want!

I agree. I had a friend guy tell me, he'd HEARD alot of females complain about how guys are chosing based on color, but really paid it no attention b/c the guys he knew really made no issue about it. but he said, it was when he ( who makes good $$$ ) bought his first house. its in an all black neighborhood here in NC, and ALL , here me , all , of his neighbors either had a white SO or they were light skinned. i know the neighborhood and it is upscale, more middle class.

i told him, even I didnt think it was that bad. but he said, he just noticed it and was like, whoa !

 

[brownsuga_91]

Yeah I get you just like light skinned women are SOO much more attractive than dark skinned women.erplexed

I'm not calling all dark skinned people SOO less attractive than light skinned people, i'm just saying i find myself MORE attractive to light skin guys most of the time. I'm not saying all light skinned people are prettier than all dark skinned people, there can be beautiful and ugly people dark or light.