Let's chat: The Older Man

[Belle Du Jour]

I've always been attracted to guys who were older than me (LOL, I had a HUGE crush on Captain von Trapp when I was a pre-teen ), but now, in my late 20s, I'm seriously attracted to older men. I'm talking late 30s, 40s. There's just something about an older guy who's distinguished, well dressed, respectful, confident, etc. The only issue: many men in their 40s have a lot of experience, may have married and divorced, or had kids. I'm not interested in dating a divorced guy with kids. Anyone else also attracted to older men? Let's chat.

 

[pisceschica]

Yes, but right now I don't have the life experience to be able to hang with one. I'm 23 so I'm looking at early-mid thirties. While most men in that age range know what they want and have "been there done that" I don't. I think when you are dealing with anyone man or woman that knows what they want they will have to have tons of patience to deal with someone like me who is going through a quarter life crisis.

 

[Transformer]

I've always been attracted to guys who were older than me (LOL, I had a HUGE crush on Captain von Trapp when I was a pre-teen ), but now, in my late 20s, I'm seriously attracted to older men. I'm talking late 30s, 40s. There's just something about an older guy who's distinguished, well dressed, respectful, confident, etc. The only issue: many men in their 40s have a lot of experience, may have married and divorced, or had kids. I'm not interested in dating a divorced guy with kids. Anyone else also attracted to older men? Let's chat.

Let's not forget medical history also....they're more likely to have high BP medication, diabetes medication, have seen everything and done it all therefore nothing is new.

I know this a thread for women who like older men...and I'm deeply prejudiced. My father was much older than my mom....no thanks.

 

[JFemme]

Let's not forget medical history also....they're more likely to have high BP medication, diabetes medication, have seen everything and done it all therefore nothing is new.

Ebony, Ebony...aint that the truth...

 

[Transformer]

When my mother became a widow, she was discussing all the men that were making a play for her....the deacons, the undertaker, and the next door widower. We told her to forget about bank records and review their medical records first!

I had a "Children sitter" some years ago that lived in an adult living facility. I asked "Momma Nelson" whether there were elgibile bachelors around...she stated..." I don't want any of them, all they talk about are their ailments."

 

[SugarBaby]

Let's not forget medical history also....they're more likely to have high BP medication, diabetes medication, have seen everything and done it all therefore nothing is new.

I know this a thread for women who like older men...and I'm deeply prejudiced. My father was much older than my mom....no thanks.

Ebony, Ebony...aint that the truth...

Dang, EBony and JF,

Get the fit ones..There are some very fit 40's and 50's out there...

Since I am fit, I require the man to be fit also.

 

[WAVES4DAYS]

Let's not forget medical history also....they're more likely to have high BP medication, diabetes medication, have seen everything and done it all therefore nothing is new.

I know that's right!

 

[JFemme]

When my mother became a widow, she was discussing all the men that were making a play for her....the deacons, the undertaker, and the next door widower. We told her to forget about bank records and review their medical records first!

I had a "Children sitter" some years ago that lived in an adult living facility. I asked "Momma Nelson" whether there were elgibile bachelors around...she stated..." I don't want any of them, all they talk about are their ailments."

I cant stand women of a certain age who go on ad nauseum bout their "ailments"... reading obituaries and such...


(too funny)

And SugarBaby, you are correct.... there are indeed many fit 40 something afoot.. (or so they appear)

Some men can be the biggest whiners...

Okay, I'm out....breakfast is calling...

 

[Transformer]

You're right there are some fit older men. I just can't get over supplementing a better quality of life for him while he pays child support payments. If you find one that has never been married, and doesn't have kids that probably means that he's so set in his ways/inflexible that nobody can stand him.

I have a coworker like that--but's he's not fit either.

 

[honeybuni84]

I tend to date older men... I'm 25 and i have a child and a man in his 30's or 40's deal with it better than someone my age. it seems like when i tell a 25 year old guy that i have a son, they tend to shift interest from dating to just " getting down" When i tell someone in their 30s i don't have that issue..

I am concerned about the age gap as we age together, but I think as long as the gap isnt too great, it will work out..

 

[SugarBaby]

You're right there are some fit older men. I just can't get over supplementing a better quality of life for him while he pays child support payments. If you find one that has never been married, and doesn't have kids that probably means that he's so set in his ways/inflexible that nobody can stand him.I have a coworker like that--but's he's not fit either.

Whew! EB...You are so right on that level..hard to find an evolved man that is working on his issues...

(kinda hard to find this in women too. . People in general stop growing unless there is a real connection to self facing issues)

Good Points, EB.

 

[MizAvalon]

Dang, EBony and JF,

Get the fit ones..There are some very fit 40's and 50's out there...

Since I am fit, I require the man to be fit also.

Exactly. What kind of man in his 40's is falling to pieces like that?

I don't want him!

I really like older men though. Their baggage, not so much.

Oh, and I am not mad at you for crushing on Capt. Von Trapp!

 

[BGT]

There's this guy I'm into, who I'm pretty sure is into me. He graduated high school the year I graduated 5th grade

 

[ThickHair]

I am casually seeing a 61 yo, I am 38, just 2 years older than his daughter. We have fun together and take it for what it is. We are on different levels and we know that we could never be a serious couple, so we enjoy the dates to the opera, shows and dinners. It is what it is. I get very nice presents and he just wants a little taste, literally every now and again. I don't have a problem with it because, believe me I won't end up pregenat because it doesn't work like that and he was straight forward with that information.

His head is big with his friends (or they see him as foolish) because he got a hot, smart honey on his arm. I will tell you that his friends did try to test me to see if I was an airhead or not and I held my own with everything they threw at me. I will say, I only go around his friends who have girlfriend, never around his friends with wives. I understand it and it doesn't bother because I have never and will never introduce him to my friends. They already clown me about seeing him. Asking me when am I going to Shady Pines to get another date. LOL.

But I do see myself marrying a man at least 10-15 years older than me.

 

[Transformer]

I
His head is big with his friends (or they see him as foolish) because he got a hot, smart honey on his arm. I will tell you that his friends did try to test me to see if I was an airhead or not and I held my own with everything they threw at me. I will say, I only go around his friends who have girlfriend, never around his friends with wives. I understand it and it doesn't bother because I have never and will never introduce him to my friends. They already clown me about seeing him. Asking me when am I going to Shady Pines to get another date. LOL.

But I do see myself marrying a man at least 10-15 years older than me.

Thick Hair- Just exploring this. You're an old man's trophy, what is his reciprocal value to you? You're not comfortable yet mixing with all levels of his friends and neither with yours...if you were to marry someone in the same age bracket what's going to be the impact to social relationships. He's fine at 61 but in about 6 years he will probably be collecting SS and the rapid acceleration of health problems. He's investing in his SOCIAL security-at least that's what my father did. By the way, I was born when my father was 65.

By the way, we had a close friend that married a young lady 5 years older than his daughter. We think she's the fool because she brought everything to the table. He had children and many, many prior relationships and debt. He's smart and ambitious but they had to work their way his backlog of debt and past spending habits. I personally think she was rob of experiencing growth with someone closer to her age.

 

[GodsPromises]

I love dating older men and it seems that they love me. My grandmother always said
"Better to be an old man's darling than a young man's fool" I most of the time live by that rule.

 

[Transformer]

I love dating older men and it seems that they love me. My grandmother always said
"Better to be an old man's darling than a young man's fool" I most of the time live by that rule.

Don't you know "old men give you worms."

 

[*5+5]

Two of my besties are married to older men.

One is 29 and her husband is 48 <<---divorced, w/3 kids prior

The other is 26 and her husband is 37 <<---no baggage

I'm not attracted to older men but I can say both of my friends have always been WELL provided for and have awesome sex lives.

Not for me tho’, the thought that I was only 11 when he was 30 doesn’t sit too well with me.

 

[Transformer]

Life is about the journey....and I prefer to travel it with someone that hasn't seen the sights also. When the age gap is so large to tend to give up a lot of things or you're married to an "old fool" that is trying to stay young.

 

[Almaz]

Okay if you get with one and actually marry one just make sure you have some mighty good arse insurance. Take it from me.

Just saying

 

[Transformer]

Okay if you get with one and actually marry one just make sure you have some mighty good arse insurance. Take it from me.

Just saying

By the time you hook with them the only life insurance available is Globe Life. You know the one that you pay $10.00 for every $1000.00 increment.

 

[SugarBaby]

EbonyB, Your wisdom on this subject is killing me....


You telling the real deal in many respects.

 

[Love Always]

Ebonybee, girl your posts got me ! You're so serious about not dating older men and I'm with you on that one because I perfer men in my age group. Even though your posts were pure comedy you really did brings things into perspective .

 

[SugarBaby]

Ebonybee, girl your posts got me ! You're so serious about not dating older men and I'm with you on that one because I perfer men in my age group. Even though your posts were pure comedy you really did brings things into perspective .

N,

We both posted at the same time, we are both laughing together with EbonyB...She is preaching.


I do date older but she definately has enlighted some issues.

 

[ladysaraii]

I've always liked guy who are a bit older than me, like 4-5 years. Although the last couple guys I've been attracted to her 39 (I was 25/26)

Older men love me for some reason. It's a bit disconcerting.

 

[Transformer]

As you all can tell, I HATED being an old man's daughter. I learn a lot of wisdom from him but it would have been nice to have a person only one generation removed from you as a parent. My mother suffered the most.

She thought she would marry an old man and that he would die off soon leaving her a "life insurance" widow. He fooled her...he lived to age 92 and it took everything to pay his medical cost and funeral.

 

[lovely008]

My first crush was on a 30-something year old man, I was 8. I didn't really date in high school but I realized when I got to college that I still could only connect with older guys. The youngest guy I've dated was 27 and the oldest was 34, this was all before I was 23!

I sometimes feel like I get more out of relationships with them, they are always more knowledgeable and of course much more experienced in life and in sex

Although, I have to say and I know this might sound weird but if a guy in his 30's or 40's mostly dates women my age (early 20's) or younger, I get a bit suspicious. The last guy I dated that did this ended up being emotionally immature and was basically trying too hard to be hip. I ended up feeling like he was using me to recapture his youth as opposed to dating me because he wanted to be with me. It's one of many aspects that can make it a bit complicated..

 

[Love Always]

Although, I have to say and I know this might sound weird but if a guy in his 30's or 40's mostly dates women my age (early 20's) or younger, I get a bit suspicious. The last guy I dated that did this ended up being emotionally immature and was basically trying too hard to be hip. I ended up feeling like he was using me to recapture his youth as opposed to dating me because he wanted to be with me. It's one of many aspects that can make it a bit complicated..

You took the words right out of my mouth. That's my problem with older men that has this mentality erplexed.

 

[Transformer]

My first crush was on a 30-something year old man, I was 8. I didn't really date in high school but I realized when I got to college that I still could only connect with older guys. The youngest guy I've dated was 27 and the oldest was 34, this was all before I was 23!

I sometimes feel like I get more out of relationships with them, they are always more knowledgeable and of course much more experienced in life and in sex

Although, I have to say and I know this might sound weird but if a guy in his 30's or 40's mostly dates women my age (early 20's) or younger, I get a bit suspicious. The last guy I dated that did this ended up being emotionally immature and was basically trying too hard to be hip. I ended up feeling like he was using me to recapture his youth as opposed to dating me because he wanted to be with me. It's one of many aspects that can make it a bit complicated..

Gosh, I've seen this so many times. Everyone thought my dad was the MAN. A young wife and a kid would keep him young--wrong, it just aged the hell out of me and mom!

 

[Ms Red]

I tried and failed. I am in my mid-late twenties and tried dating a guy who was only 37. Although he was never married with no kids, the guy was soooo set in his ways. He even had to eat at 5:45 p.m. EVERY.DAY.

Perhaps a bad experience but I'll pass!