Ladies are any of you fearful of...

[Energist]

About 3 years ago, one of my best friends went to her cousin, a hair stylist so that she could cornrow her hair so that she could go home and sew a wig on. After she cornrowed my girl's hair my friend said that her cousin quickly sprayed this solution on her hair and between the braids. She asked her cousin what it was and she was like "nothing."

A week or two later my friend took the cornrows out and she had permanent parts between the cornrows. This thinned her hair out big time and she swore her cousin did it. My girls hair wasn't long but it was ultra thick. She cut it all off and started over. Years later her hair thickness is barely what it use to be.

They have always had a little strained relationship and me and her other friends tried to convince her that she was being ridiculous. Needless to say they had a big blow up and don't talk anymore.

Yeah it was this story Took a lil' searchin' to find it, but there it is

 

[deltagyrl]

I nerved worried about it before, I am/was OK with getting the weave check. Until one day I was talking to a co-worker who is a RN. I was asking her my RN questions about how is it once your in nursing program. She told me something i never though about before. She told me when your going to your nursing class and you have a BW professor you should down play your looks until you find out how she feels about other BW. She said when she was in nursing school the professor would pick on the women who walk in to class with long hair and well dress. They would make them work the hardest and still gave them a lower grade because they didn't like them. This is scare because they hold your grade in their hands and will use that as a way to get at you because they are jealous of your looks.

Okay she sounds delusional. I went to an HBCU where all of my instructors were AA or African and I only had one crazy professor who hated EVERYBODY.

She should've mentioned how black RN's are usually mistaken for CNA's or LPN's by patients, white nurses and doctors.

Don't listen to that foolishness. Be flyyy.

 

[jevetta]

These stories are scary but not uncommon. My niece (11 at the time) was jumped on her way home from day camp by a group of middle school girls jealous of her APL type 3a hair. They tore a handful out of the side of her head. I've seen with my own eyes grown women give that little girl the evil eye over her hair. My sister has the same hair type, but I'd never seen that level of hate directed at her. Sis says it's because her daughter has a dark complexion that her long curly hair offends these women and girls so much. My sister is lighter in hue, so people assume she's mixed and is "allowed" to have that kind of hair, but how DARE her dark child have long flowing curls. People are SICK.

This is scary. My dark skinned 10 year old gets teased my middle schoolers when she wears her braidouts. They all ask if she has a weave. Now I am going to have to warn her about the dangers of jealous girls. So Sad. Jeve

 

[Natirelle]

I get parinod when to many ppl touches me afro. then I will go home and wash my hair becasue it itches. (not egging no one)

 

[southerncitygirl]

I think the very nature of women from the time we are little girls is to see one another as competition or a threat. However being from Richmond, VA and currently living in NYC I feel sure that people will question whether my hair is real but won't try to cut or burn it off. Here in Harlem there's some tore up heads and not many people with healthy hair at my job when I flatironed black folks always ask about my lineage so thats nothing new, though it annoys me!

 

[KrystalClear]

You are not being irrational, me personally, I am not in fear at all. I live in TX, there are a lot of mixed people, black people, white ... just different races, with long healthy hair. I don't think it's as shocking to people here to see black women with long hair. They most likely WILL think it's a weave though.

I will be proud of my long hair when it gets to BSL and/or longer... and I will not feel bad for it at all!

 

[Carolina18]

Wow, I've only read of such horrendous stories coming from AA members of hair boards. I've never known of anything like this happening in the UK or elsewhere.

This thread reminds me of something I read on here once. One poster's cousin was away at college, and went to wash her WL hair after track practice or something, when it started falling it out clumps. Apparently some jealous girls at her college put depilatory cream (veet/ nair) in her conditioner bottle!!!

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I don't worry about it at all. In NYC there are quite a few ladies with healthy relatively long hair, so while I do usually stand out a bit for being MBL I'm not SO much of an anomaly, now if you live somewhere where they dont have as much ladies with longer hair then there will be more hateration

I had to deal with non-stop envy from my own cousin from down-south though and that was really hurtful, if it wasn't my long hair, it was because I was thin or some other reason there was no reasoning with her, I had to cut her off, it sucked. I might start a thread on this

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Let 'em get envious.

 

[almond eyes]

Well, I was on the train the other day and this lady had beautiful MBL hair and she kept combing it and flipping it and she did this for a good twenty minutes. All the black women on the train were like, "what the heck, get off yourself."

I don't think these incidents are common. I think most black women with long hair get love.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[classychic1908]

In the 6th grade a girl cut half of my single ponytail and my hair was not even APL.
As an adult I'm a little less worried about things like that happening, but I would be mindful about where I choose to wear my hair straightened and down...

 

[toyagurl]

I went to private school as a child because my mother was fearful of me getting attacked because of the length of my hair. She said that they would cut it off. I don't have long hair now but it is very shiny and healthy. Even though it is not long at all I get weave checked often...even the Asian lady at the BSS asked to touch it. I wish that healthy hair on BW wasn't such a pink elephant and long hair a spotted zebra. Sad.

 

[30something]

I was in Oklahoma two months ago (one of the black sections), I also notice that women barely had hair past neck length. It must be the hard water, or that there was no beauty supplies store for miles. Would have to go to OKC or Elk city to at least find a sallys. Its sad to say but the reason why people think black women can't grow their hair is because what they see around them. erplexed

Jealous is a big fat b---h, I cant stand it esp when its about something you worked so hard for.

Its not an irrational fear.. someone tried to burn some chick hair off! What is that!

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

no. i used to have long hair for most of my life and i never had any problems with other women being envious, to my knowledge.​

 

[caribeandiva]

Still love this thread!

 

[BostonMaria]

This thread is scaring the poop out of me

I always have a back-up scrunchie in my bag. If I am wearing my hair down and I'm on the train I can put it in a side ponytail and hold on to my hair LOL

Nobody has ever cut my hair, but when I was 9 years old and lived in Miami some girls tried to beat me up because my hair was long. Imagine that?!!! I had to pull my DD out of a Boston school and move to the burbs for this exact reason. No way I was going to let her get beat up over this mess.

 

[longhairlover]

I have gone through lots of hate because of my hair, and it's not even mbl. I have had females with weaves fling their hair when they are around me and it's like mine is real boo boo lol!

Women are just cats and some are haters it will never change.

When I go on interviews the interviewers are always focused on my hair line it's like wtf! are you looking for? We don't all wear fake hair!!

No matter how we show them AA women can have healthy hair and long hair people won't respect it, they will always think we are naturally bald from myths they made up about us. You will learn how to deal with it.

You'll learn to ignore it and just fling that hair!

Don't feel self conscious at all do you.

 

[EMJazzy]

This thread is precisely why I embrace my shrinkage.

 

[TamedTresses]

This thread is scaring the poop out of me

I always have a back-up scrunchie in my bag. If I am wearing my hair down and I'm on the train I can put it in a side ponytail and hold on to my hair LOL

Nobody has ever cut my hair, but when I was 9 years old and lived in Miami some girls tried to beat me up because my hair was long. Imagine that?!!! I had to pull my DD out of a Boston school and move to the burbs for this exact reason. No way I was going to let her get beat up over this mess.

 

[CrissieD]

I have never thought about this. Until now. You guys are scaring me.

 

[MaintaintheSexy]

Your hair is your crown and glory and to be ashamed of it or want to hide it because its "too long" is outrageous. When you look at women from other countries who have hair down to their ankles, you don't see them looking for a hair clip or a scrunchie to tie their hair up, they let it flow all over.
When it comes down to women, Black women, in particular, there is no sisterhood among us. It's a constant competition of who looks better, who's hair is longer, who has the better body, the better man, the better education, the better career, the better house, the better car, the better clothes, the better jewels, the better pastor, it goes on and on. It's sad.
Your long hair, whether its been long since you were a child or if its a newfound length you've achieved through proper hair care, it's your hair, that God gave you, so embrace it. God didn't bless you with all that hair to be hiding it and ashamed to show it. He's probably shaking His head at you for even feeling this way.
As for the jealous people, you better do what I do, turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to them. Hold your head high, beautiful, and let that hair loose so it can blow in the wind.

 

[caribeandiva]

Your hair is your crown and glory and to be ashamed of it or want to hide it because its "too long" is outrageous. When you look at women from other countries who have hair down to their ankles, you don't see them looking for a hair clip or a scrunchie to tie their hair up, they let it flow all over.
When it comes down to women, Black women, in particular, there is no sisterhood among us. It's a constant competition of who looks better, who's hair is longer, who has the better body, the better man, the better education, the better career, the better house, the better car, the better clothes, the better jewels, the better pastor, it goes on and on. It's sad.
Your long hair, whether its been long since you were a child or if its a newfound length you've achieved through proper hair care, it's your hair, that God gave you, so embrace it. God didn't bless you with all that hair to be hiding it and ashamed to show it. He's probably shaking His head at you for even feeling this way.
As for the jealous people, you better do what I do, turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to them. Hold your head high, beautiful, and let that hair loose so it can blow in the wind.

Great post! I think women of other races experience hair hate too especially those who have Kim Kardashian like hair. Haters will hate. That's what they do instead of being productive and finding a solution to their problems. Wear your hair with pride and pray to God to keep you safe.

 

[Vashti]

When I was a little girl I had long, thick hair and it got cut by some other little girl in school. My mom was so mad she cussed the teacher out for letting it happen because when the teacher found out she tried to hide it by tying my hair up to mask the damage instead of just being truthful about what happened when my mom came to pick me up from school.

My hair grew back long a couple of years later and my mom always kept it braided up and pinned to my head and never pressed it unless there was a special occasion. She did the same with my sister whose hair was even longer than mine. That way, instead of dealing with girls wanting to cut off my hair I had to deal with them calling me booty-head and doo-doo head because it was in its poofy, natural state while the rest of them had bone-straight relaxed hair or jheri curls. It was then that I wanted my hair to look different so I could get some relief. So when I became a teenager I messed my own beautiful hair up with perms and relaxers and bad hair care.

Somebody earlier said that if isn't one thing with people like that it will be something else and that was true for me. Whether your tresses are straight and long and healthy or naturally tight and thick, you just can't win. Somebody's going to have an issue with you.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Wow... when I first posted in this thread my hair was pretty short... now it's really getting long! Since I don't often wear it down I don't have to worry that much about hateration. Eventually though, once it gets to my goal of classic length, I'll keep it braided/bunned/pinned up as much as possible for protection.

 

[LiberianGirl]

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[Janet']

...This thread is eye-opening!

 

[I Am So Blessed]

well my whole life living here i have seen about 6 black girls that i can remember with BSL or longer hair. so black hair care is not common here either, but i have yet to have any female hate on me. i would hate for that to happen. if i had a hater, it would seriously make me depressed. i would tryed to help her. <shrugs) but know what you mean about feeling the way you do with wearing your hair out. my advice is to just keep wearing your hair out and dont pay them people no mine,but always keep a look out.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

thats why i always sit in the back of the class!! that way theres no body sitting behind me. when my hair is out i watch it carefully as if it were my baby!

 

[I Am So Blessed]

wow I can't believe someone would try to do that to your friend.

i've never worried about people being envious as my hair gets longer. but i wanted to ask the ladies on hee if longer hair gave them any unwanted or too much attention.

i would have to say, only sometimes. most think its a weave, and that burns me up lol....i just want to scream "F you, ok?" but i dont.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

I'm never fearful but I'm always aware, especially in my surroundings of catty jealousy and the potential for things to go beyond that. I don't really see myself trusting wearing my hair out in a club environment as it reaches APL & beyond, but I'd be totally alright with people 'thinking' it's a weave, I know it isn't and anyone close enough to me know it isn't and anyone who wants to get to know will know it isn't so everybody else can suck it.

thank you, after reading this i feel better