bkprincesa
New Member
Sooo I was just at the mall with my mother and we got into a heated discussion. My older brother is getting ready to get married to a White woman, and we were speculating on what their kids would look like. Out of nowhere, my mother says "I think they're gonna have bad hair. I just know it." I look at her like 
... And I ask why she thinks this.
She goes on to inform me that (in her past experiences) she's encountered biracial children with "bad" hair. I asked her to elaborate on her idea of what embodies "bad" hair. All she could come up with was nappy-looking and wild.
I reminded my mother that her own brother married a white woman years ago and their two children didn't fit her stereotype of biracial children having "bad" hair. They both have an obvious curl pattern of a looser texture than typical AA Hair--I'm guessing 3a or 3b. I do recall the older of the two girls having really frizzy hair when we were growing up but now that I've become educated on the importance of moisture thanks to LHCF, I would bet money on the frizziness being caused by lack of moisture.
Perhaps their mother didn't add anything to their hair to keep it moisturized or to define the curls after shampooing and conditioning. Perhaps she didn't use the proper tools to detangle the hair. Since her hair is straight, she may not have known that there are extra steps needed to properly care for the curly hair that her children had. As I explained this to my mother she still had a skeptical look on her face as if she wasn't buying any of it.
When I asked my mother if the biracial children she had seen with this "bad hair" before had white mothers, she got quiet. Aha! It makes sense that some biracial children walk around with their hair in poor condition. Their mothers lack the knowledge needed to properly care for it! Of course their hair is going to look frizzy, dry and disheveled when its dehydrated and wrongfully manipulated.
My mother declared that her grandchildren would not look like that. I asked how she intended to prevent them from looking that way when their mother probably has no clue how to care for their hair (I know it's a generalization, but I am kind of close to my brother's fiancee and she really IS one of those White girls who has no clue lol). My mother said stubbornly that the kids can't come to her house looking that way.
We got into parenting skills and all that, specifically in reference to my mother thinking that she will consider their parenting skills poor if they can't take good care if their kids' hair. (Which led me to a new revelation that I will reveal in another thread.) My mother seemed to think that she could totally take charge and do whatever she wanted to the minute my brother places the children in her care.
I tried to explain to her that, though that may have worked when she was raising me and my brother (my grandmother, aunts and even a cousin had free reign over the care of my hair), times have definitely changed. Parents are way more particular about their children's appearance and the way they put their children together each day, so my mother's alterations may be seen as an attack on/a challenging of their parenting skills. I told her that it wouldn't be her place to just do whatever she wanted to their hair without the parents' permission first. So she asked "if I don't have a say at all, then what is the point of being a grandparent?" I just shook my head....Is the state of her grandchildren's hair really the only thing she can see herself playing an important role in?? What about giving them love and support, showing them discipline and instilling manners and principles in them wherever their parents forget to? Sheesh.
... And I ask why she thinks this. She goes on to inform me that (in her past experiences) she's encountered biracial children with "bad" hair. I asked her to elaborate on her idea of what embodies "bad" hair. All she could come up with was nappy-looking and wild.
I reminded my mother that her own brother married a white woman years ago and their two children didn't fit her stereotype of biracial children having "bad" hair. They both have an obvious curl pattern of a looser texture than typical AA Hair--I'm guessing 3a or 3b. I do recall the older of the two girls having really frizzy hair when we were growing up but now that I've become educated on the importance of moisture thanks to LHCF, I would bet money on the frizziness being caused by lack of moisture.
Perhaps their mother didn't add anything to their hair to keep it moisturized or to define the curls after shampooing and conditioning. Perhaps she didn't use the proper tools to detangle the hair. Since her hair is straight, she may not have known that there are extra steps needed to properly care for the curly hair that her children had. As I explained this to my mother she still had a skeptical look on her face as if she wasn't buying any of it.
When I asked my mother if the biracial children she had seen with this "bad hair" before had white mothers, she got quiet. Aha! It makes sense that some biracial children walk around with their hair in poor condition. Their mothers lack the knowledge needed to properly care for it! Of course their hair is going to look frizzy, dry and disheveled when its dehydrated and wrongfully manipulated.
My mother declared that her grandchildren would not look like that. I asked how she intended to prevent them from looking that way when their mother probably has no clue how to care for their hair (I know it's a generalization, but I am kind of close to my brother's fiancee and she really IS one of those White girls who has no clue lol). My mother said stubbornly that the kids can't come to her house looking that way.
We got into parenting skills and all that, specifically in reference to my mother thinking that she will consider their parenting skills poor if they can't take good care if their kids' hair. (Which led me to a new revelation that I will reveal in another thread.) My mother seemed to think that she could totally take charge and do whatever she wanted to the minute my brother places the children in her care.
I tried to explain to her that, though that may have worked when she was raising me and my brother (my grandmother, aunts and even a cousin had free reign over the care of my hair), times have definitely changed. Parents are way more particular about their children's appearance and the way they put their children together each day, so my mother's alterations may be seen as an attack on/a challenging of their parenting skills. I told her that it wouldn't be her place to just do whatever she wanted to their hair without the parents' permission first. So she asked "if I don't have a say at all, then what is the point of being a grandparent?" I just shook my head....Is the state of her grandchildren's hair really the only thing she can see herself playing an important role in?? What about giving them love and support, showing them discipline and instilling manners and principles in them wherever their parents forget to? Sheesh.
I did her hair and gave her protein treatments (BEFORE learning about proper hair care, go figure) and blew her hair out every 2 weeks (she likes it straight). She now knows how to do her own hair and it is now BSL 
She thanked me for teaching her how to do her natural hair. But I can say that I've also seen Black women with biracial children that had wild hair. It's a foreign texture so I can understand why you wouldn't know what to do. It's curly but you cant use grease(I know it's a no-no now but I' sure most don't). You wash and condition it everyday but it's still super dry. 
