I've been stupid.
- Thread starter Vinyl
- Start date
FlowerHair
Reclaiming my time
We've all been there. Don't feel bad 
It's very rare that we can stay friends with an ex after a bad breakup.
On a positive note, with him being such an a**hole you're bound to meet someone much better next time!
It's very rare that we can stay friends with an ex after a bad breakup.
On a positive note, with him being such an a**hole you're bound to meet someone much better next time!
*Happily Me*
Well-Known Member
Flowerhair is right - It's happens :/
You live and learn. (hugs)
You live and learn. (hugs)
firecracker
Well-Known Member
I'm sure your not the only person that is hated by an ex but so what! Be glad your rid of his kind and him! Nobody is perfect so what you fell for the okey dokey momentarily. It doesn't matter who ends a bad relationship as long as its over!
Highly Favored8
Well-Known Member
((((((HUGS)))))))
No, you not the only one and yes, I been through what you been through simlar. Send this man on his way. What goes around comes back around!
No, you not the only one and yes, I been through what you been through simlar. Send this man on his way. What goes around comes back around!
misskris816
Well-Known Member
Hugs to you!
Don't be so hard on yourself, we have all been there before. Aren't you glad that it only took one day for it to fall apart rather than months, or even years?
You don't deserve to be with a man who will call you such terrible names. All you can do is learn from this and not allow him back in your life again. You deserve much more than anything he can give you.
Don't be so hard on yourself, we have all been there before. Aren't you glad that it only took one day for it to fall apart rather than months, or even years?
You don't deserve to be with a man who will call you such terrible names. All you can do is learn from this and not allow him back in your life again. You deserve much more than anything he can give you.
SUPER SWEET
Well-Known Member
Don't feel stupid...feel better that you are moving on! Please don't fall weak to his words, but look at his actions towards you. Keep moving forward and DON"T LOOK back! It will be tough to move on at first but you can do it! Love can be just like hair progress... So you will grow strong and get into a healthy relationship.
firecracker
Well-Known Member
I know sweetie but words only have as much power as we allow them too. The minute those thoughts come into your head ask God to remove them.
Time will heal your wounds. I usually give it double the amount of time your in the relationship or find a hella temporary fione distraction.
LadyCee
New Member
hey the dreamer,
i really understand how u are feeling and wat u are going thru cuz im in a similar sit. u feel like allowing urself to be frnds w the person will possilby work thngs out w u two but it usually hurts more cuz the person juss doesnt really care at least not anymore. i am hoping that thngs get better for you and all those who have gone thru this crap. ive been called horrible thngs even after ive done a **** load of thngs for this person and den i question God and ask why but i just have to remind myself that i can make it thru da rain like mariah says altho i did care for my ex and enjoy his company cuz i was practically w him all the time i have to force myself to see that he doesnt not care anymore so why should i but girl i sure no its easier said den done but he will get his im just patiently waiting
. i know evil but hey
oh yeah ur not stupid juss going thru emotions luv makes u do crazy thngs
i really understand how u are feeling and wat u are going thru cuz im in a similar sit. u feel like allowing urself to be frnds w the person will possilby work thngs out w u two but it usually hurts more cuz the person juss doesnt really care at least not anymore. i am hoping that thngs get better for you and all those who have gone thru this crap. ive been called horrible thngs even after ive done a **** load of thngs for this person and den i question God and ask why but i just have to remind myself that i can make it thru da rain like mariah says altho i did care for my ex and enjoy his company cuz i was practically w him all the time i have to force myself to see that he doesnt not care anymore so why should i but girl i sure no its easier said den done but he will get his im just patiently waiting
. i know evil but heyoh yeah ur not stupid juss going thru emotions luv makes u do crazy thngs
NYAmicas
Seeker
He sounds like a potential emotional abuser and you surely dont need that.
Don't sacrifice your happiness for someone so bitter..... only then would you be stupid. *Hugs* If he contacts you again do yourself a favor and hang up.
Divine Inspiration
Well-Known Member
And now you are free to heal, grow, and eventually love again without wondering what would have happened if...
I think your choice has a silver lining. You can move on from this without regret and you don't have to endure the agony of whether you should give it another try. You've tried the tender final attempt, and it was not fruitful.
And that's ok. Be very patient with yourself during this time. You can't change anything that's already happened, but you can commit to a different future.
I always say that when we think our lives are over, they're usually just beginning.
Feel better.
I think your choice has a silver lining. You can move on from this without regret and you don't have to endure the agony of whether you should give it another try. You've tried the tender final attempt, and it was not fruitful.
And that's ok. Be very patient with yourself during this time. You can't change anything that's already happened, but you can commit to a different future.
I always say that when we think our lives are over, they're usually just beginning.
Feel better.
Ms.Nigeria
New Member
Don't feel bad. just learn from it
drasgrl
Well-Known Member
This is the one who threatened to kill himself right? Don't feel too bad we all make bad judgment calls sometimes. You were trying to be a friend and you should not feel bad for trying to be good to someone. Now you know the truth. It's on him not you. Dust yourself off, don't give him another thought, wish him the best and live a good life because that really is the best revenge
What I don't understand is that my friends said similar things about him... That he wasn't good for me, was making me unhappy, etc, and after we broke up a few of them pointed out how much happier I was with life. (Until all this happened, of course.)
So, if he turns around and says his friends said those things/made him realize those things about me, why does it hurt so much since I know he wasn't good for me in the first place?
So, if he turns around and says his friends said those things/made him realize those things about me, why does it hurt so much since I know he wasn't good for me in the first place?
misskris816
Well-Known Member
Most people don't like to be rejected, regardless of who it's coming from. Although you don't see it now, his decision was a gift and you'll be grateful for it later.
Divine_Order
New Member
(((HUGS)))
Guuurl....f**k him! Check right to the next! That was some hurtful stuff to say. Anytime a person feels the need to call you out of your name and defame your character...BEAT IT!!!
Guuurl....f**k him! Check right to the next!
That was some hurtful stuff to say. Anytime a person feels the need to call you out of your name and defame your character...BEAT IT!!!
BrooklynSouth
New Member
Nah, you were not stupid..just hopeful....now if you hook up with this dude or his friends ever again...welllllllllllllllll...................
You are not stupid. You are learning. Like Firecracker said words only have power if you let them. Take it as a lesson learned. A lot of us have been there.
Get the fool out your mind. He just showed you who he really is. Believe him. Now buy yourself some flowers and keep it moving. You have no place in your life for that.
Get the fool out your mind. He just showed you who he really is. Believe him. Now buy yourself some flowers and keep it moving. You have no place in your life for that.
DivineNapps1728
Well-Known Member
I know exactly what you're going through doll & you're not dumb or a bad person; sometimes when men realize they messed up rather than apologize and move forward they become vindictive and bitter...misery does love company, apparently he wants you to hurt the same way he did.
The reason it hurts so much is because when you love someone & go out of your way to do right by them you never expect them to turn on you; when they do the shock, confusion, frustration and pain knock you down hard leaving you wounded. And because we still love these knuckle heads we leave our hearts open and maintain hope that the relationship could still thrive so when they come waltzing back they break us down lower than before because we just know we knew better.
It's okay to be sad for a season, but don't allow him to have that much power over you and remember that the only reason he said those hurtful things was to be evil; I'm sure he knew exactly what buttons to press and what insecurities to exploit. Take some time away from your girlfriends' rants &think & cry & pray. Remember that you're a fabolous young woman and that the reason his insults seemed outlandish is because they hold no truth. Waiting for things to improve doesn't work, you have to fight the heartache, depression and anger a break up brings head on.
My friends says it best, when you get to the point where you realize it's either got to be him or yourself & you decide to put yourself first you'll experience a world of difference. He seems to be looking out for himself, who are you going to take care of?
Thank you DivineNapps. I'm doing a lot better recently, although I do still think of him fairly often. Mostly just wondering what he's doing, if he's thinking about me, thinking about our relationship, and yes, wanting to rub my own happiness in his face to make him feel bad... but of course I won't be doing that. It's just an interesting thought I entertain.
Will he fade from my mind with time, too? Where it gets to the point that I go days without thinking of him. I'm so used to thinking about him first thing I wake up, that my brain just does it automatically. Even if he's not the first thought anymore, it manages to push him in there somehow.
Will he fade from my mind with time, too? Where it gets to the point that I go days without thinking of him. I'm so used to thinking about him first thing I wake up, that my brain just does it automatically. Even if he's not the first thought anymore, it manages to push him in there somehow.
DivineNapps1728
Well-Known Member
No prob dear. If you restructure your daily rituals and focus on yourself & the task at hand as opposed to how he would fit into what you're doing he'll fade. You'll lose the urge to call him, stop thinking about him all the time & move forward with your life.
Just an update... I was going alright until today; my Mom mentioned him, and she said that his parents said some negative things about him the last time she talked to them... So at first I felt better about the whole thing because I was thinking, "If his own parents say that about him, I must be the person in the right here..."
But then I got to thinking about him... and the relationship... and how dumb I was throughout the whole thing/how much time I wasted. Then, I looked up his blog... and I noticed that three days after we stopped talking, he made his first entry in a year which basically said, "Joy, at last."
And it made me feel horrible because I wonder... did he write that because he's happier now that I'm out of his life?
Up until tonight, I'd been feeling pretty good... I still think of him fairly often, but it's mostly just anger and wanting him to suffer. I want him to feel pain... I feel like he doesn't deserve to be happy.
Anyway, I thought briefly about talking to him (before I read his blog), but I guess the blog contents deterred me from that... If he really is happier without me/because I'm out of his life, talking to him would only bring on drama. I blocked him on everything, so unless he goes through some friends there's no way he can contact me... a part of me wonders if he did try, but I'm going to just chalk that up to tonight being a bad night...
But then I got to thinking about him... and the relationship... and how dumb I was throughout the whole thing/how much time I wasted. Then, I looked up his blog... and I noticed that three days after we stopped talking, he made his first entry in a year which basically said, "Joy, at last."
And it made me feel horrible because I wonder... did he write that because he's happier now that I'm out of his life?
Up until tonight, I'd been feeling pretty good... I still think of him fairly often, but it's mostly just anger and wanting him to suffer. I want him to feel pain... I feel like he doesn't deserve to be happy.
Anyway, I thought briefly about talking to him (before I read his blog), but I guess the blog contents deterred me from that... If he really is happier without me/because I'm out of his life, talking to him would only bring on drama. I blocked him on everything, so unless he goes through some friends there's no way he can contact me... a part of me wonders if he did try, but I'm going to just chalk that up to tonight being a bad night...
firecracker
Well-Known Member
Stop torturing yourself young lady. You have to do things to get your mind off of him.
DivineNapps1728
Well-Known Member
You'll be fine dear, there will be many good & bad days just keep in mind that regardless of which type you experience you're still moving forward.
Also be aware that when one is bitter their actions exemplify that; his follies are and outgrowth of hurt & anger. If you can't deal with him & be cordial don't bother with him or else you'd be perpetuating the same foul behavior he directed towards you; two wrongs don't make a right.
When my ex & I broke up he told me that he no longer loved me and hadn't for a long time, that devastated me, but I accepted it and moved on. I figured that he didn't care for me why waste the energy focusing on him. Later he confessed that he said that because he knew it would hurt me and he wanted me to feel how he felt. Your ex may be doing the same type of thing so don't read into the blog fiasco too much; he knows you're gonna be checkin his blog/myspace/facebook etc, so he strategically placed that message to get you peeved. If you know you were the best girlfriend you could be then there's no need to entertain the negative comments he's making about you. Don't let him get over his heartache at your expense.
@ bolded: took the words right out of my mouth.
