Issues with not being exclusive

[Helpmeblongagain]

Is there anyone here that has issues with not being exclusive. Im realizing that I don't even like the person Im talking to...talking to other people.

Am I alone?

Just curious...

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

I need a little clarification.

It sounds like you don't like the person you're talking to.
But then it sounds like you WANT to be exclusive with that other person.
Which one is it?

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

if you don't like the person you are talking to talking to other people, that is not an exclusivity issue, that sounds like a control issue.

now, when you say talking, do you mean talking as in dating? or just casual conversation.

unless you guys have actually sat down and said that you two are being exclusive to one another (actually made a committment), then you are not exclusive. you are, my dear, a free agent and so is he.

 

[Ediese]

Nope I don't have that issue because I usually make it clear that I'm dating other people too. I'm not quick to settle and be exclusive unless I'm ready. Since I date multiple people, it helps me make that decision.

 

[Lylddlebit]

~~~~~~~~~Deleted~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Almaz]

Issues with not being exclusive. Ohhh AIDS STD's heartache

 

[locabouthair]

If you're not exclusive with someone, you have to realize that there is a possibility that they may be dating others.

How long have you two been talking, if you dont mind me asking.

 

[aribell]

Naw I am the same way. If a guy is serious about pursuing me, him pursuing others is a sign he isn't serious enough. I just take it for what it's worth though. I expect follow through on what's promised to me nothing more nothing less.

The bolded is the issue for me. People are free to do what they please, but not desiring exclusivity is an indication of a lack of seriousness, IMO. Some people do like to do the "friends first" thing, though, which might prolong things.

 

[Ediese]

Issues with not being exclusive. Ohhh AIDS STD's heartache

That's not necessarily true. When I'm dating, I usually date multiple people until I'm ready to be exclusive. I don't have sex with either of them until I've decided to started dating one of them exclusively, and then the rest are let go.

 

[kayte]

Nope I don't have that issue because I usually make it clear that I'm dating other people too. I'm not quick to settle and be exclusive unless I'm ready. Since I date multiple people, it helps me make that decision.

co-sign BIGTIME

Originally Posted by Almaz
Issues with not being exclusive.
Ohhh AIDS STD's heartache

non-exclusive dating does NOT mean sexing...
It's dating as in going out..

and btw...it only takes only one occurrence.....
one partner to transmit something...numbers are not always culprit

Is there anyone here that has issues with not being exclusive. Im realizing that I don't even like the person Im talking to...talking to other people.

Cut him loose...good you found out and WERE NOT exclusive w/the dude
...release that..good gracious...why bother?
keep dating other people.....and don't feel guilty..

you've discovered one of the purposes of dating..
to see if you even like the person or not....
dating is the venue for that
not an SO relationship or
God forbid! engagement and marriage..some people find out then
believe it or not

no you're doing exactly what a sane selfloving woman would do
keeping the pool open of men you do like...to eventually choose the
cream of the crop...and weeding out those who do NOT make the cut


exclusive no probs w/me..
multi is fun..casual...& if a guy acts up ..it's like NEXT!!!
when exclusivity happens.... it will be with man who has proven himself over the long haul
and that I'm head over heels with...

hth..Op

 

[Helpmeblongagain]

if you don't like the person you are talking to talking to other people, that is not an exclusivity issue, that sounds like a control issue.

now, when you say talking, do you mean talking as in dating? or just casual conversation.

I don't think its a controlling thing. I don't mention it, I just move on after a while. And I meant as in dating.

unless you guys have actually sat down and said that you two are being exclusive to one another (actually made a committment), then you are not exclusive. you are, my dear, a free agent and so is he.

Im aware. I posted the thread to see if seeing multiple people makes others uncomfortable too...

Naw I am the same way. If a guy is serious about pursuing me, him pursuing others is a sign he isn't serious enough. I just take it for what it's worth though. I expect follow through on what's promised to me nothing more nothing less.

I think this is my issue. So, I start to feel like Im wasting my time even when I dont feel like Im looking for a relationship. Weird, I know.

If you're not exclusive with someone, you have to realize that there is a possibility that they may be dating others.

How long have you two been talking, if you dont mind me asking.

Im not asking because Im currently dating someone. It was just a conversation I had with someone earlier.

 

[texasqt]

Just sharing and generally speaking
My dad said it best one day - "What? You think you're the only woman, or the first woman he's ever dated? He knew women before you and the day you met him they didn't disappear. If he didn't know any before you, you better think something's wrong with him!"

Basically, most times when you meet someone either they are already dating someone else, even if they consider them 'just a friend' or you may be. It takes time to get to know someone so just relax and enjoy the date and the companionship. Don't get so serious about it so soon because you'll end up finding out that you don't really like that person. That's why there's dating and then there is a relationship. Every man you date doesn't have to be your exclusive relationship. Let them date and you date until you find someone and you both agree to more.

It use to stress me out because if I'm dating someone I usually don't have the time nor the energy to date anyone else. So my "date" becomes my exclusive relationship while to him we are just dating. I would get frustrated when he wasn't available but hey - I knew what was up and where we stood. Like I said, just enjoy the dates if you care to. But know that there will be very few men that you will meet on Monday and be exclusive with by Tuesday.

 

[<3Curlz]

I was "casually dating" a guy for almost a yr lol. I'm the type of female that dosent care to b too touchy feely(cuddling and all that)but i got real comfortable with him.in oct 08 I realized he was having sex wit other ppl and cut it off. I told him the exact reason why and he ended up not wantin to make it somethin serious. It sucked but I went into the relationship feelin like all I wanted was sex and got turned down in the end. We're still friends tho,I can't bad mouth him