Is this weird Never been in love....27yrsold and never been in a relationship?

[Sexyred]

It has always seemed weird to me that I am 27 going on 28 and I have never been in a relationship in my entire life and I have never been in love. What am I missing?erplexed I guess I can only blame myself because I do not go out to actively meet guys, I am very picky, and I do not put up with foolishness(sp?) Maybe I have been sabotaging myself all along? I would like to know if anybody else thinks this is weird? because sometimes I truly fear waking up one day, 50 years old and I am still single, loveless and alone? Is anybody else going through this?

 

[chichibean]

My best friend was a lot like you. She did not have her first relationship until she was 29-30. Like you, she did not go out and actively seek to meet men and she wasn't that open to men when she did. That is probably why she met her current SO online. It just suited her personality. But I will say she is getting married this summer (age 33) and she is very happy. So don't lose heart it will happen for you... it is just timing... but it helps if you open your heart up to the possiblity and make yourself available.

 

[Nefertiti0906]

It has always seemed weird to me that I am 27 going on 28 and I have never been in a relationship in my entire life and I have never been in love. What am I missing?erplexed I guess I can only blame myself because I do not go out to actively meet guys, I am very picky, and I do not put up with foolishness(sp?) Maybe I have been sabotaging myself all along? I would like to know if anybody else thinks this is weird? because sometimes I truly fear waking up one day, 50 years old and I am still single, loveless and alone? Is anybody else going through this?

Well I guess we're both weird, lol.

I have had "friends", but not a bf/gf relationship. I plan to change that starting this year by being less aloof and paying more attention to guys

 

[Sexyred]

Well I guess we're both weird, lol.

I have had "friends", but not a bf/gf relationship. I plan to change that starting this year by being less aloof and paying more attention to guys

Well welcome to the club I thought I was the only one who belonged to that weird club but yeah I am not alone and good idea to start paying attention to guys.
Thanks chichibean for replying I wish your friend the best. I think she is one of the lucky ones who was able to find love. Maybe one day I will be so lucky

 

[Duchesse]

thank the lord I'm not the only one

I always feel like such a weirdo whenever guys/people ask about my past relationships or my longest one...i'm always like...ahh..err..you mean the dude I dated for 3 months which was hardly a relationship?? Or the one I played phone tag w/forever? or the one who took me to dinner once and started talking babies...you get the point.

I'll be 26 in August, and feel like I need to hurry up and get in a real relationship quick just for the sake of it (jk..). It really sucks to be so picky, and for the pool to seem so crapadocious, and I really do enjoy being single most of the time, but I don't want to wake up and be 32 and never having experienced really being in love. then I will really feel socially inept.

So Sexyred, you are not weird at all girl, probabaly just very picky (which isn't a bad thing imo)

 

[Mejayt]

I've been in relationships before but I have never really been in love. I thought that I was strange because my friends were always talking about how much they loved their boyfriends and etc and I would be looking like "Whatever!" I believe that love will happen when God believes you are ready. I know I was not ready to love or give love to anyone then. I'm only 23 so I feel there is plenty of time for that. I believe my current friend may be the one to get my love.

 

[sunnydaze]

I was 25 when I had my first real relationship (and all that it entails). Don't sweat it girl.

 

[drasgrl]

Not to offend you but yes I do think it's weird. It seems like you are scared to take a chance or some kind of lack of socialization skills with the opposite sex. A man is not going to magically fall in your bed. If you want a relationship you have to make yourself available. Not being in love I can see but never having a bf at your age tells me there is something a little strange going on.

 

[prettypuff1]

Me either..


I see everyone in my family enjoying the company of someone, and I never have.. There have been a handful of guys that i truly have wanted something with. Maybe even 1 or 2...The rest were just good enough for that time....

I wonder about myself sometimes. I have met guys, they have either been selfish or crazy or jerks or unrelable. I really can't figure it out. But i am 24 never been in anything serious and wonder if it will happen for me..

 

[poetist]

I don't think its "weird" but it is unusual. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being picky and you have probably saved yourself from a lot of drama. But if you are interested in having a relationship, you do have to make yourself available. I am definitely shy and do not believe in approaching guys or throwing myself at them, but I am open to meeting people.

Do you currently or have you ever had any close male friends? I think this is key - because it will indicate whether you are even comfortable with socializing with guys.

 

[bftscgirl]

Well i guess y'all have another member of the weird club, or like my Mother likes to say," Baby you are just a late bloomer." If I hear that one more time I think I am going to kill her and myself. LOL. I really don't think murder/suicide would help the situation though cause I hear say it is really hard to find a man when you are dead.

I totally understand what u mean I just think for some it comes a lot easier than others. And as for the lack of social skills that is not always the case, thank you.

Anyway, I think I am going to stop worring about it and start working on it.

 

[caribeandiva]

that is odd but you're not alone. i have cousins who are 33 and 31 and have never had boyfriends, been on dates or even kissed guys (as far as i know).

i'm 24 and i've never been in a serious relationship either (my longest one was 2.5 months) but i know i have trust issues and a commitment phobia so i usually ended sabotaging all my "relationships". I'm fixing that cause i don't want to end up alone either. You need to really really look inside your soul for why you've stayed that way for so long and then start fixing it.

 

[Sexyred]

Not to offend you but yes I do think it's weird. It seems like you are scared to take a chance or some kind of lack of socialization skills with the opposite sex. A man is not going to magically fall in your bed. If you want a relationship you have to make yourself available. Not being in love I can see but never having a bf at your age tells me there is something a little strange going on.

This is the funny thing I am very good at socializing with guys and my best friend of over 11 years is a guy. I have met guys at clubs, on the train, at school, etc. I just don't believe in the meeting me today and in my bed tonight and that is what most of those guys wanted. I would like to be friends first and find out about each other. If this is weird/wrong then I will accept the fact that I will be single until the day I die. I am available and I am open to meeting guys and going on dates I just refuse to chose any guy that pops up with a smile just to be with someone.

 

[Sexyred]

Well i guess y'all have another member of the weird club, or like my Mother likes to say," Baby you are just a late bloomer." If I hear that one more time I think I am going to kill her and myself. LOL. I really don't think murder/suicide would help the situation though cause I hear say it is really hard to find a man when you are dead.

I totally understand what u mean I just think for some it comes a lot easier than others. And as for the lack of social skills that is not always the case, thank you.

Anyway, I think I am going to stop worring about it and start working on it.

@the bolded that is hilariousluckily my mother doesn't bother me about that kind of stuff but I think I would feel the same way you do if she did.

 

[poetist]

This is the funny thing I am very good at socializing with guys and my best friend of over 11 years is a guy.

So you've never made a connection with any of your guy friends? THose are sometimes the best relationships.

 

[neyhla]

you 're not alone girl..I m 23 and my longer date was 4 months ...Still waiting for the REAL one...

 

[drasgrl]

This is the funny thing I am very good at socializing with guys and my best friend of over 11 years is a guy. I have met guys at clubs, on the train, at school, etc. I just don't believe in the meeting me today and in my bed tonight and that is what most of those guys wanted. I would like to be friends first and find out about each other. If this is weird/wrong then I will accept the fact that I will be single until the day I die. I am available and I am open to meeting guys and going on dates I just refuse to chose any guy that pops up with a smile just to be with someone.

1. That's great I thought maybe you didn't leave the house or something.

2. I don't believe it it either and neither did any of my boyfriends and the guys I dated. Not all guys are like that.

3. Do you think you are being too picky? If they smile at you that's great would you rather they get in your face with a frown? Maybe they were just trying to be friendly. You won't know what someone is like until you go on a few dates and get to know them.

 

[Lylddlebit]

~~~~~~~~~Deleted~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Sexyred]

I think it's weird if your giving up the goodies in exchange for none of the benefits that love can bring. But if you just have high standards and are not willing to settle for less than the standard that you have made for a acceptable partner BRAVO! There is no sense in going through the struggles of a relationship for someone who isn't what you want. It's only worth it if your partner is worth it.

I total agree and I couldn't have said this better

 

[DaPPeR]

Me either..


I see everyone in my family enjoying the company of someone, and I never have.. There have been a handful of guys that i truly have wanted something with. Maybe even 1 or 2...The rest were just good enough for that time....

I wonder about myself sometimes. I have met guys, they have either been selfish or crazy or jerks or unrelable. I really can't figure it out. But i am 24 never been in anything serious and wonder if it will happen for me..

Im going on 23 in June and I have never been in love and never had a SERIOUS relationship. Long distance relationships dont count to me. Hopefully it happens soon enough

 

[Imani]

I'm 25 and never had a real relationship. And by the time i'm the OPs age, I'm fairly certain i still won't be. 25-27 is still young to me. So no, i don't think its weird at all. I feel like i'm just starting to find myself and get my life together.

when i tell people this i do get looked at in disbelief or like i'm crazy or something.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I guess I can join the club!!

I'm 26 going on 27, and I've NEVER had a serious bf. I've had guy "friends", guys I was interested in, and guys I talked to over the phone and hung out with, but never a serious relationship.

I'm trying to open up a bit more also. Not that I'm aloof by nature, but more so opening up to guys...even the ones I'm not that interested in at first. Some guys have been interested in me, but they just haven't been my type. I'm not picky, but I definitely don't want to settle either. I think this year I'm just going to work on being a little more open and at leaset give some of these guys a chance at a friendship. In the past, if I wasn't 100% attracted to a guy, I wouldn't really give him the time of day! No date, no loooong phone conversations, no "friendship"...NOTHING! I figured...what was the point?? If I know someone likes me, but he looks like a truck ran over his face, I'm sorry.... Add on top of that, some guys had the personality of wood....

But now days, I'm getting better. I'm giving more guys a chance even if I'm not immediately attracted to their looks or personality. I'm at least giving them a chance.

If I had a dime for everyone who asks me: "do you have a boyfriend?" "I would think someone as pretty as you would have a bf by now", "are you married?" "*gasp in horror* You're not married?!??" (like it's some sin or something) I'd be RICH!

Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with not being married or not having a boyfriend at age 30. Some people find their true loves at different times in life. No biggie.
But now if someone is 50 and has NEVER been in a romantic relationship, then I would think that was kind of odd.... UNLESS of course, it was by choice.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

This is the funny thing I am very good at socializing with guys and my best friend of over 11 years is a guy. I have met guys at clubs, on the train, at school, etc. I just don't believe in the meeting me today and in my bed tonight and that is what most of those guys wanted. I would like to be friends first and find out about each other. If this is weird/wrong then I will accept the fact that I will be single until the day I die. I am available and I am open to meeting guys and going on dates I just refuse to chose any guy that pops up with a smile just to be with someone.

That's how I am too. I would like to be friends first with a guy, and take it slow....you know, getting to know each other little by little. But maybe that's the problem. Maybe some guys don't want to go "slow".

I did fall in love with a guy friend of mine a couple of years ago, but alas...it's pretty clear that even though he likes me as a person, and is attracted to me, he doesn't like me as much as he likes this OTHER girl that he's interested in. *sigh* Soooo..... It took me a while to get over that, but now I'm good. At least I know that I CAN love someone deeply.

I'd be more worried if someone never liked/crushed on someone ever. That would be kind of odd to me. IMO.

 

[Hairsofab]

I'm 30 and I've never been in a serious relationship. I blame a lot of things for that. Sometimes I think I might never find anyone, that maybe I need to lower my standards or get realistic. But I do think it is weird I don't think it is normal. I guess I'm pretty weird!

 

[Sexyred]

Well at least now I know I am definitely not alone. Whew..wipes swept away from face. I think of it more now as something unusual not necesarily weird because whats funny I truly do believe that I will meet my soul mate I just don't know when or how and thats the hard part because I would like, not need, but would like to meet him now.. I guess I will be waiting for two things for this hair to grow and for Mr. Right and not Mr. Right now. Thanks ladies for sharing, sometimes I know it is a little hard to tell people this because of all the shock and perplexed looks you get as if you belong in a sideshow circus act.

 

[caligirl]

I don't think you're weird at all. I read/heard once that people who serially date are just practicing to get divorced. Maybe you are holding out for that one special man that you will commit your life to.

 

[sky_blu]

Dont sweat it. Ive only had one serious relationship and everything else was just ____________. When its your time you'll find who your meant to be with.

 

[sydwrites]

I guess I can join the club!!

But now days, I'm getting better. I'm giving more guys a chance even if I'm not immediately attracted to their looks or personality. I'm at least giving them a chance.

If I had a dime for everyone who asks me: "do you have a boyfriend?" "I would think someone as pretty as you would have a bf by now", "are you married?" "*gasp in horror* You're not married?!??" (like it's some sin or something) I'd be RICH!

quote]

I agree with this whole post, especially with the bolded

 

[SunySydeofLyfe]

I dont think so, but you might want to evaluate why you are phobic about commitment, I am a commitment phobe in every aspect of my life. I realize my issues stem from my mother leaving me days at a time, I worry that if I get to close the person will eventually leave so what is the point. I have however had several serious relationship that once it was on the verve of marriage I ran, several great jobs that I sabatoge and I have had 4 cars in the last four years (my newest is a 08 solara, I had a 07 jeep), a mess I know.....In another forum, they talk about a book....calling in the one (someone correct me if I am naming it wrong)....Im thinking of getting it to help me work thru my issue, stay in prayer and keep the faith......

 

[Nefertiti0906]

I dont think so, but you might want to evaluate why you are phobic about commitment, I am a commitment phobe in every aspect of my life. I realize my issues stem from my mother leaving me days at a time, I worry that if I get to close the person will eventually leave so what is the point. I have however had several serious relationship that once it was on the verve of marriage I ran, several great jobs that I sabatoge and I have had 4 cars in the last four years (my newest is a 08 solara, I had a 07 jeep), a mess I know.....In another forum, they talk about a book....calling in the one (someone correct me if I am naming it wrong)....Im thinking of getting it to help me work thru my issue, stay in prayer and keep the faith......

Good luck! I'm also a commitment phobe. I started that book hoping it'll help me and of course, I stopped reading it because I was afraid I'll find the one erplexed