septemberbaby
New Member
My cousin and her husband have been married for several years. He does not help out around the house: inside or outside. He works full-time, comes home, sits on the couch and watches tv, plays with his cell phone and/or plays Madden every night and on his days off.
He doesn't do any cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, interact with the kids much either. He doesn't take out the garbage, clean the gutters, take care of the yard (he refuses pay a landscaper) or pick up after himself. He's not handy. He leaves piles of dirty and clean laundry as well as garbage on his side of the bedroom floor all the time. She is not allowed to touch or clean up his side of the room because it makes him very angry. He told my cousin it's because she doesn't know what is clean and what is not.
erplexed But she's tired of living in his filth.
He is, though, very playful with her and tells her he loves her all of the time but does not show the same attention/affection to her kids - which are his stepchildren. He's only interested in knowing their whereabouts when they are not home. He wants all the details. But when they are home, he doesn't have anything to do with them: doesn't spend time with them, talk to them, take them out for pizza, ice cream, to the mall, movies, play with them, etc.
Whenever she brings these things to his attention, he gets very defensive and a heated argument always follows. He tells her that he doesn't bring up the things he doesn't like about her, he just keeps his mouth closed because "it's no big deal" to him. He also tells her that he knows what needs to be done around the house and that he's a grown man, so she doesn't need to tell him what to do. He doesn't like or ever want her telling him what to do. Those are the two main responses she gets whenever she asks him to do something or reminds him to do something.
He gives her a hard time all the time, over every little thing. Basically, if it's not for his job, it's not getting done/taken care of. When she told him that's how she felt, his response was "My job pays me." WHAT?!
She works outside of the home full-time. She does all the cooking, cleaning, shopping and takes care of the kids and everything that has to do with the home. Mind you, they both pay bills together with their income. But to hear him tell it, he pays all the bills and takes all the credit for what they have.
Her husband doesn't have any friends, hobbies, or interests. He's not very social and doesn't keep in touch with his family.
My cousin is not happy at all in this marriage. She says since her husband is not out running the streets, beating, cheating on her, gambling, drinking, drugging, but works and pays the mortgage, she shouldn't complain. I told her marriage is a partnership. He is not doing his part. I think he's a selfish, inconsiderate, jerk. I also think he's weird but that's another thread.
Their sex life is non-existant
Your thoughts? Is he a Kang?
What is his problem? What should she do?
Where is @Zaynab? I need her expertise on this mess.
He doesn't do any cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, interact with the kids much either. He doesn't take out the garbage, clean the gutters, take care of the yard (he refuses pay a landscaper) or pick up after himself. He's not handy. He leaves piles of dirty and clean laundry as well as garbage on his side of the bedroom floor all the time. She is not allowed to touch or clean up his side of the room because it makes him very angry. He told my cousin it's because she doesn't know what is clean and what is not.
erplexed But she's tired of living in his filth. He is, though, very playful with her and tells her he loves her all of the time but does not show the same attention/affection to her kids - which are his stepchildren. He's only interested in knowing their whereabouts when they are not home. He wants all the details. But when they are home, he doesn't have anything to do with them: doesn't spend time with them, talk to them, take them out for pizza, ice cream, to the mall, movies, play with them, etc.
Whenever she brings these things to his attention, he gets very defensive and a heated argument always follows. He tells her that he doesn't bring up the things he doesn't like about her, he just keeps his mouth closed because "it's no big deal" to him. He also tells her that he knows what needs to be done around the house and that he's a grown man, so she doesn't need to tell him what to do. He doesn't like or ever want her telling him what to do. Those are the two main responses she gets whenever she asks him to do something or reminds him to do something.
He gives her a hard time all the time, over every little thing. Basically, if it's not for his job, it's not getting done/taken care of. When she told him that's how she felt, his response was "My job pays me." WHAT?!
She works outside of the home full-time. She does all the cooking, cleaning, shopping and takes care of the kids and everything that has to do with the home. Mind you, they both pay bills together with their income. But to hear him tell it, he pays all the bills and takes all the credit for what they have.
Her husband doesn't have any friends, hobbies, or interests. He's not very social and doesn't keep in touch with his family.
My cousin is not happy at all in this marriage. She says since her husband is not out running the streets, beating, cheating on her, gambling, drinking, drugging, but works and pays the mortgage, she shouldn't complain.
I told her marriage is a partnership. He is not doing his part. I think he's a selfish, inconsiderate, jerk. I also think he's weird but that's another thread. Their sex life is non-existant
Your thoughts? Is he a Kang?
What is his problem? What should she do? Where is @Zaynab? I need her expertise on this mess.
Women (for the most part, IME) neglect to put this on their list of requirements for choosing a spouse and then 
when they don't have these qualities in a husband. Well, what did they expect? 
She said Kangery. 
This is my word of the day, and I have to use it in a few more posts. 
