My homegirl is sleeping with a married man and wants a way out!!!!!!

[andrea]

Wait...what?

1. She is grown. She is making poor decisions. Why are YOU the one in need of help? She knows good and well she's wrong...what else IS there to say to an adult making bad choices?

2. Please don't judge her? She's a good person? Um, I'm gonna have to vehemently disagree on that one. She's sleeping with a married man...that makes her "of questionable character" in my book to say the least.

3. Clearly she is lacking in something...self-esteem, common sense, morals, something. However, I don't think that's something you can give her.

4. If she were truly tired of him, she wouldn't be dealing with him. I'm guessing she's telling you that to not look like a loser/whore, but if she were really done, it wouldn't even be a topic of discussion between the 2 of you.

5. He calls...she doesn't answer. What's hard about that?

6. If she wanted a real relationship, she would have never started sleeping with him and footing the bill for their trysts.

7. She hates being the other woman? Seriously? Apparently she doesn't hate it enough to stop.

8. What should she do? STOP SCREWING/TALKING/SEEING a married man! It's not hard. He can only call for so long. No, another conversation does not need to be had. Just STOP.

Man, that's it...I'm doing a "Never Settle 2009" conference call because this mess it out of control!

Thank you.. I still am not reading the first post.. I mean when I was younger I guess it didn't bother me what my friends did.. I really did not pay attention.. However, as I have experienced things.. A woman that sleeps with a married man is not my friend nor can she be.. I mean I am a woman.. That is a character flaw.. Not only that.. No one makes you cheat and you are just as guiliy if not more then the married man. I mean Women need to treat women better..

Anyway, Thanks Divine.. Great post and straight to the point.. People only do what you allow them to do... This is probably a game to him and he probably knows that she isn't serious.. So, give it time she will come around.. I swear I am not reading the first post. We have to treat ourselves and each other better..

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

Thanks again, she's actually talking to him right now, I hear her yelling, so I think she's done, I just had a talk with her, and she better change her ways.....or I'm putting her out!!!

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Thanks again, she's actually talking to him right now, I hear her yelling, so I think she's done, I just had a talk with her, and she better change her ways.....or I'm putting her out!!!

erplexed

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

erplexed

I know right, but she answered the phone to tell him, that's it's over and she doesn't want to deal with his s*** anymore, she feels horrible and needs to find herself......she's tired of disrespecting herself and the other woman.....but again, thanks for your help.

 

[MzLady78]

She can stop if she really wants to. Tell her to change her number. Me thinks she likes the attention and back and forth or else she would have stopped long ago. She's getting something out of it even though she says she doesn't want to live like that.

I agree.

I'm sitting here looking at the title of this thread like "wants a way out"? He gave her an out when he told her he was married, she just won't take it.

Tell that nicca to kick rocks and be done with it, it's not rocket science.

 

[andrea]

I know right, but she answered the phone to tell him, that's it's over and she doesn't want to deal with his s*** anymore, she feels horrible and needs to find herself......she's tired of disrespecting herself and the other woman.....but again, thanks for your help.

If it was over.. She wouldn't have picked up the phone... Silence is enough.. What does she owe him.. Anyway..

 

[senimoni]

I'm failing to see why she can't "find her way out", does she like drama? How old is she?

 

[blaqueskimo]

Does she want to stop, really?

If she does, let her change her #

Put a restraining order on him, and let him know if he comes near her she's calling the cops and his wife.

Hmmm doesn't sound like she really wants to stop to me. Based on her stating her friend says" It's not like they can go anywhere together or do anything, and that she wants a real relationship".


It's not hard to NOT answer the phone call of someone you don't want to talk to.....you just don't. If you're answering it's because you want to talk or your trying to play games and perhaps get him to choose?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I'd call the police. At this point, since she told him to leave her the heck alone, he's a stalker.

It does not sound at all like she wants out....she just wants him to pick her over his wife. That RARELY happens.

 

[firecracker]

WTH? She has been paying for hotel rooms to give up her goodies? Married man or not thats really wack! She doesn't need an out. She needs therapy for her sex addiction and some self respect.

 

[prettypuff1]

Thanks again, she's actually talking to him right now, I hear her yelling, so I think she's done, I just had a talk with her, and she better change her ways.....or I'm putting her out!!!

she not done... If she was done she wouldnta answered the phone...

 

[DragonPearl]

girl, I wish it was that easy, but she doesn't know her like that, he's very secretive, i mean he just told her like two months ago he is married, and they have been messing around for 6+ months, she doesn't know where he lives, works at, or nothing else, he's a pretty good liar from what she tells me.....she's just tired of dealing with a man who's married......

The bolded is what REALLY freaked me out. That there are actually women who engage in regular trysts with men they know nothing about. That there are women who go to hotel rooms with men they know nothing about. Haven't they watched those psycho killer reports? OP, please have your friend seeing a therapist. If she can pay for a hotel room to have some dude lay pipes on her, she can afford a therapist. Oh, and regarding the married dude, all she has to do is stop answering his calls. It's that simple.

 

[mxdchiq86]

please stop allowing her to use you as an emotional crutch and getting you all emotionally wrapped up in her '' situation ''. i understand that she is a friend of yours but, she knows damn well what she needs to do in order to rightfully handle the situation. she's just using you as a source to vent, 'cause honestly.. what can you do for her? she is an adult. tell her to stop answering his calls, trust me.. that man will run back to his wife asap.

 

[Likeyouneverseenme]

girl, I wish it was that easy, but she doesn't know her like that, he's very secretive, i mean he just told her like two months ago he is married, and they have been messing around for 6+ months, she doesn't know where he lives, works at, or nothing else, he's a pretty good liar from what she tells me.....she's just tired of dealing with a man who's married......

What??? Call me Miss CIA, I would know his social, blood type, and his momma's favorite dish by now. I won't have anyone dippin in my juice box for 6 months and not do a background check

It doesn't seem like she wants to cut him out. Getting rid of a married man can't be that hard.

 

[rayness]

Why would she be with a man and she does not know where he lives, works, I am guessing she does not have his home number? Those are red flags right there. I never understood women like this. She needs some help and you should stop trying to comfort her. Wrong is wrong. She is messing with a married man and she wants you to feel sorry for her. For what???

 

[TCatt86]

Sounds like she really doesn't want to get out. If she does she needs to cut all contact, fussing with him, telling her how she feels won't do anything other than keep the lines of communication open.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

WOW at sleeping with a dude for 6 months and don't know where he works, where he lives, if he's married or anything.

She needs to hit up that STD clinic with the quickness. If he's doing her like this then god only knows what kind of nasty dirt he is also doing... prostitutes and strippers probably. Gross.

Of course, :scratchch if he's banging her back out for free, he doesn't need to pay a prostitute for it...

But she definately needs a full medical work-up... erplexed

 

[Cichelle]

Please. Just stop. Yes, it's that simple. It's been said here before but I just had to type a quick post to say it again.

When the situation stops having a pay-off for her, she'll put a stop to it right quick. And if I were you, I wouldn't even bother myself with trying to help her or advise her at this point. JMO.

 

[secretdiamond]

please stop allowing her to use you as an emotional crutch and getting you all emotionally wrapped up in her '' situation ''. i understand that she is a friend of yours but, she knows damn well what she needs to do in order to rightfully handle the situation. she's just using you as a source to vent, 'cause honestly.. what can you do for her? she is an adult. tell her to stop answering his calls, trust me.. that man will run back to his wife asap.

Yup! You're falling for the okie doke OP.

She's telling you all of this, making you feel "sorry" for her situation, asking random strangers on a forum to "help" her, just so you don't look at her like a whore while she goes on with this affair that she's "trapped" in.

 

[Country gal]

Don't waste your time with your friend. She can get away from him. She chooses not too and wants attention. If you want to get away from someone who is married than block the calls. Change your numbers. call his wife.

 

[jaiku]

I don't know this is a non issue. If she really wanted to end it, it would be over. Unless he has a gun to her head he can't make her do anything she don't want to do.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Man, this chick has me disgusted.

Women like this are the sole reason why dudes come up on decent ladies and say ignorant stuff like, Hey wanna f***? And then be surprised when you are enraged at such bold and disrespectful behavior. Even after you explain that you are married, half of them are like I can keep a secret.

Men act like this because there are women like the OP's friend who give thier cookies away at the first dude who looks at them sideways. Gross. And dangerous.

 

[Princess4real]

Okay... I know I'm focusing on the wrong thing here... but I'm still trippin' on the fact that SHE paid for the hotel rooms!!! WHAT the hayell???

So she just found out he was married... but before that, she thought it was okay to not only be a cut buddy, but then to PAY to be someone's cut buddy?

lawd, lawd, lawd!!!!

Penis is in high demand, should be on the NASDAQ! I would be rich if I invested in penis!!! Women would make me filthy rich with their can't say the words "Nah son" azzez, it's like crack rocks for some! Crack heads and D**k heads running around.

 

[Vanity1]

WHAT? She is footing the hotel bill? I am not trying to be funny, but that must be some good dilz. Cause it would not be hard for me to cut ANYTHING off if bro ain't even trying to foot the bill.