They dated for at least five years and was married for another five. She found out how much he makes during their divorce. He didn't make a lot of money but made it seem like he makes a lot. Apparently because she has her own money she never asked. They have two children.
Is It Normal To Be Married And Not Know How Much Your Spouse Makes?
- Thread starter abioni
- Start date
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
imo no
Transformer
Well-Known Member
Guilty. I have a rough idea but I’ve never seen his W2 nor do I view the taxes. He could have a secret stash account somewhere.
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
I know a married couple that keeps their money separate that has never cohabitated. They’re planning on moving in soon but sleeping in separate rooms and they want kids together so nothing surprises me anymore. LMAO
LivingInPeace
Well-Known Member
No.
Just out of curiosity, has this ever bothered you? How do you all handle making big purchases where ones income would have to be revealed (house, car,etc..)?
Transformer
Well-Known Member
All our accounts are joint but that doesn’t mean all of his income is going into the account. We usually take turns buying real estate. If he buys a property, he just does in his name only on the loan documents.
He keeps track of my income because I pay taxes quarterly which he submits the paperwork.
MomofThreeBoys
Well-Known Member
No.
Kalani
Well-Known Member
Man, if I knew these options were available in marriage then my "need my personal space/need my 'me' time" self would have warmed up to the idea ions ago
.
awhyley
Well-Known Member
After ten years, you would think that she had an inkling. Thank goodness she has her own money.
Black Ambrosia
Well-Known Member
I think it's odd but people do odd things.
bubbles12345
Well-Known Member
Yea not sure how this works with all the financial decisions you have to make before and during a marriage, but ok ...
Lylddlebit
Well-Known Member
"Normal" isn't what I would use as a measuring stick. I think rather it's normal or not you have to determine if it's acceptable or impactful. For me it would not be acceptable for my husband to withhold anything he owns that is of value from me so naturally that type of information is readily available and proactively provided to me. I also wouldn't find it acceptable to be blindsided by anything that could pose a liability to me to be withheld either. So I need those details too.
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LiftedUp
Well-Known Member
This was my normal growing up. My mother kept her salary information under lock and key and encouraged me to do the same lol. My aunt, her sister, also does the same. I have a friend who, based on the advice of an older lady, also does the same. I dont based on my personal choice.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I guess people just fork over what is needed? I have purchased a car and financed one on my own. I don’t put nobody’s name on nothing and I don’t believe in financing stuff with spouses anymore. Lol
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
No.
bubbles12345
Well-Known Member
If you can't trust someone with your salary info, why marry them? And if they refuse to tell/show you their salary, that's sketch to me too. Marriage is like a business to me. I don't play with finances.
I knew my hubby's salary, credit, debt, savings etc. within weeks after we started dating. I had to make sure I wasn't wasting my time and that he could provide me the lifestyle I wanted.
I knew my hubby's salary, credit, debt, savings etc. within weeks after we started dating. I had to make sure I wasn't wasting my time and that he could provide me the lifestyle I wanted.
If you can't trust someone with your salary info, why marry them? And if they refuse to tell/show you their salary, that's sketch to me too. Marriage is like a business to me. I don't play with finances.
I knew my hubby's salary, credit, debt, savings etc. within weeks after we started dating. I had to make sure I wasn't wasting my time and that he could provide me the lifestyle I wanted.
I feel the same way. How do you sleep next to someone every night, have kids with them, etc..., but don't share your salary info. Different strokes for different folks, but it seems odd to me.
Same for me and DH. I had no problem sharing financial information with my husband when we were dating and same for him.
I know lots of married couples who purchase cars with just one spouse on the loan and title. DH and I don't do it that way, but I don't see it as a big deal for married couples who do. I'm thinking more in terms of larger purchases such as a house, investment property, vacation home, etc...
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
That's odd and I would say, but it works for them...but it didn't.....
Not at our house. I kinda handled his income and had a POA before we were married, so I've always known . He doesn't have a POA for me.
A few years ago I had surgery and at his request I added him to my "not so secret" bank accounts, just in case.
He puts my name on property and vehicles he buys when I'm not around. We're all in with each other.
I kinda want to separate our cash when we retire but then again I don't want to set that precedent in our relationship.
A few years ago I had surgery and at his request I added him to my "not so secret" bank accounts, just in case.
He puts my name on property and vehicles he buys when I'm not around. We're all in with each other.
I kinda want to separate our cash when we retire but then again I don't want to set that precedent in our relationship.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I wouldn’t finance anything with a spouse. Been there, done that. If you are purchasing things out right, financial disclosure doesn’t come into play, unless you file taxes together.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I also think things are different if you haven’t established things for yourself and you are starting out as a couple together. Plus if you are coming into a marriage with children, those people need to be considered. Tradition gets thrown out the window. Previous children come first. But marriage is what you make it. I know if I went in a second time I would probably live in separate households. I know of some couples that works for, Heck Rupaul even lives like that! Lol
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