You go to a party with a couple of girlfriends. There is a handsome, successful guy there who is interested in you the second he sees you. He's talking to you and dancing with you and you become interested in him. Then one of your girlfriends you came with pulls you to the side. She tells you that she's had a crush on him for some time. (She's seen him before but they aren't friends, haven't dated or anything.) It's beyond obvious that he has no interest in her. What do you?
Is He Off Limits?
- Thread starter ndidirod
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Sosoothing
Well-Known Member
No he isn't. She may have a crush on him but he obviously likes you. Add the fact that your friend and he have had almost no interaction.
I hope your friend doesn't make you feel weird about it. I wouldn't expect my friend to possibly miss out on a guy I hardly know, that likes her just because I have a crush him and yet he seems uninterested in me.
I hope your friend doesn't make you feel weird about it. I wouldn't expect my friend to possibly miss out on a guy I hardly know, that likes her just because I have a crush him and yet he seems uninterested in me.
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Well-Known Member
No, he isn't off limits though things may be awkward between you and your gf.
This happened to me once before. My friend thought this guy was soooo cute. He is attractive but not my type. We would see him every time we went out. My goal was hook them up. HOWEVER, one day at our college alumni picnic we ran into him. He chatted me up and basically expressed his interest. I had to turn him down. My friend was so mad. She wanted to live vicariously through me. 
But to answer the question it depends on the friend and how much she was crushing on the guy. I wouldn't want any awkward tension.
But to answer the question it depends on the friend and how much she was crushing on the guy. I wouldn't want any awkward tension.
Love Always
Well-Known Member
The guy hasn't shown any interest in her so no he isn't off limits.
calm_delight
Well-Known Member
How close are you and your "friend". Real, true friend or casual aquaintance / going-out buddy? Her simply having a crush on him does not make him off limits but if she is a true friend and if dating him could pose a problem, you have some thinking to do. Is he worth the risk of possibly losing a friend?
Did you exchange numbers with the guy? If not, what is the probability of you seeing him out again?
If you end up dating, I'd just be open and honest with the friend. In a casual conversation I'd mention him.., "you know the guy from the party, well we've been talking/seeing each other...". SHE would have to be the one to let me know that she has a problem with it. Otherwise, you're just assuming. TBH, It would be pretty silly for her to be upset at you for dating someone she simply has a crush on so I don't think she would say anything.
Did you exchange numbers with the guy? If not, what is the probability of you seeing him out again?
If you end up dating, I'd just be open and honest with the friend. In a casual conversation I'd mention him.., "you know the guy from the party, well we've been talking/seeing each other...". SHE would have to be the one to let me know that she has a problem with it. Otherwise, you're just assuming. TBH, It would be pretty silly for her to be upset at you for dating someone she simply has a crush on so I don't think she would say anything.
She's a casual friend. More like a social buddy. Let's say the guy wants to exchange numbers and wants to see me again.
He is not off limits. Go for it!!!
ThatJerseyGirl
Well-Known Member
chile puleez. tell ole girl she short and LATE.
women can be so ugghhh sometimes ova some dyck.
women can be so ugghhh sometimes ova some dyck.
Livingmylifetothefullest
Well-Known Member
Didn't he pick you?!?! He is not off limits. Your gf can go sit down somewhere.
SUPER SWEET
Well-Known Member
Depends on your friendship and relationship goals...
I've had this happen and she no longer wanted to be either of our friends after our date. She was angry with me. And got angry that he wasn't feeling here.
It's ok because he still is a better friend that she EVER was.
Would you be ok with losing her friendship? How would you feel if you missed your husband to be because of her feelings?
I've had this happen and she no longer wanted to be either of our friends after our date. She was angry with me. And got angry that he wasn't feeling here.
It's ok because he still is a better friend that she EVER was.
Would you be ok with losing her friendship? How would you feel if you missed your husband to be because of her feelings?
RoseTintedCheeks
New Member
It's not that deep to just let him go especially when there's potential drama from the jump. I say wait it out and see if he pursues. It's not worth it to be in drama over a 2 week romance.
RoundEyedGirl504
Well-Known Member
For my close friends, yeah he's off limits. Random chick I barely know, I wouldn't care.
firecracker
Well-Known Member
She don't even know dude! LOL She cannot pull yo coattail after the fact. If she was crushing that hard she should have mentioned it before and tried to get in his line of fire before he sniffed yo scent. I hope you guys can remain friends if you decide to give him a chance. Different strokes for different folks.
lacreolegurl
New Member
This happened to me and a former coworker/friend. I was actually trying to set her up and the guy was giving her no response. She would send him an email...he would copy me in the response. Nothing happened between them.
Well long story short, the guy and I became friends. We'd hung out for the better part of a year when we realized we really liked each other. So, before anything happened, I took her out for drinks and explained how we felt. I didn't want her to see or hear about us from anyone else. She said all was fine...but it changed our 'friendship'.
My husband and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary this year.
Well long story short, the guy and I became friends. We'd hung out for the better part of a year when we realized we really liked each other. So, before anything happened, I took her out for drinks and explained how we felt. I didn't want her to see or hear about us from anyone else. She said all was fine...but it changed our 'friendship'.
My husband and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary this year.
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
Crushes aren't part of the girl code lol. It would be one thing if he was interested in your friend. He's not and she's got an ole crush. Go for it girl!
CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
Absolutely not off limits!! This could be your future husband. Romantic love is as equally important as the love of a friend. But I would be descrete about the relationship only in the early stages until you two figure out where the romance is going. Go for it and have fun.
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TracyNicole
Well-Known Member
Women will block other women from meeting their mate for no good reason. He is not off limits. She hasn't interacted with him on any romantic level. He has not expressed interest in her, but has in you. She is jealous. Did she even mention him before he indicated interest in you? Sorry but unless she is a close friend she is replaceable and good men are hard to find . . .might as well see if he fits the bill.
LilMissRed
Well-Known Member
Nope. Hes not off limits. He/ur gf never dated and even tho he didnt approach her.. she didnt approach him either.. her loss
Hope she doesnt get 'weird' on u if u decide to see him again tho.. that could be a pain smh
Hope she doesnt get 'weird' on u if u decide to see him again tho.. that could be a pain smh
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