Is he into me or not?? LONNNGGG
- Thread starter Nelli04
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Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
Yall both sound "young" lol but he's definitely giving mixed signals. I think that everytime you text and fb message him, you're chasing him. I think you should stop doing that. Lots of time guys like girls but don't act on their feelings for whatever reason. It has nothing to do with you or your worth. But guys go after what they want and will not risk losing it by sending mixed messages. You should try to move on unless he directly asks you out. And even then, use some caution. 
Girl leave him be, when you didn't go to his room and have sex with him, he was done with you.
He put his arm around, more than likely because one of his frat bros said something about you and he was doing the male mammal thing = peeing on the tree.
Move on, he is not into you.
ETA the only paragraph you needed to write was the 4th paragraph.
He put his arm around, more than likely because one of his frat bros said something about you and he was doing the male mammal thing = peeing on the tree.
Move on, he is not into you.
ETA the only paragraph you needed to write was the 4th paragraph.
noemi
Well-Known Member
It sounds like he's just being a friend. Saying hi when he see you and inviting you to parties, nothing unordinary in college. I would just cool it and see if he initiates any contact, and if not, don't worry. It looks like you guys keep running into each other anyway. Just keep it cordial and try not to get too wrapped up in his texts and warm/cool actions.
CarLiTa
Well-Known Member
As for the last line, you should try calling people sometimes. As someone who texts a lot, I realize when dealing with guys that talking is best.
As for ur situation, I am weary of frat guys, though some are actually nice.
my impression is that he likes the attention you give him, which is why he was flustered when you did not make the move to say something to him.
I suscribe to the belief that if the guy was into you, you would not have to do any of the stuff you're doing, all the scheming/planning not to say anything to him, etc. etc. Things would just flooww and flow well.
As for ur situation, I am weary of frat guys, though some are actually nice.
my impression is that he likes the attention you give him, which is why he was flustered when you did not make the move to say something to him.
I suscribe to the belief that if the guy was into you, you would not have to do any of the stuff you're doing, all the scheming/planning not to say anything to him, etc. etc. Things would just flooww and flow well.
Awwww, I remember those college days.
Anyway...he's a frat boy. He probably has tons of girls chasing after him, and just wants to have fun. If you are not "that girl", then leave him alone. You sound sweet, and if you continue with this dude you will be left broken hearted. Just let him do the initiating from now on.
Anyway...he's a frat boy. He probably has tons of girls chasing after him, and just wants to have fun. If you are not "that girl", then leave him alone. You sound sweet, and if you continue with this dude you will be left broken hearted. Just let him do the initiating from now on.
brownbeauty196
Active Member
He was looking to have a little fun when you guys first met on facebook. Why bother with a man who does not remember who you were?
It's not like you had plastic surgery or something
erplexed
Don't bother to keep texting him, he probably would just try to get some.Dont't worry I'm sure there are plenty more cute guys on campus
It's not like you had plastic surgery or somethingerplexedDon't bother to keep texting him, he probably would just try to get some.Dont't worry I'm sure there are plenty more cute guys on campus
TayMac
Well-Known Member
As mentioned..he is college frat boy. They have a rep for being whorish in college even though that does not apply to all. If he was interested in more than a roll in the sack, I think he would be making some real contact as in PHONE CALLS to set up a date. All these random meetings, the compliments (not to say they aren't true) and texts are just getting your hopes up. Time to move on.
thanks for the responses!
I only posted the whole story just to show how much the situation changed.
He knew from the jump I only wanted to be friends and in all honesty I do like him, but moreso I wanted more male friends at my school. I barely know anyone.
I am not sure if he didn't recognize me at the first event though, that's just the impression I got.
But I definitely agree with yall, he is not into me. It's just my friends gassing my head up about him approaching me instead of me approaching him. Sigh.
Too bad the majority of the few black guys at my college are in frats. lol
I only posted the whole story just to show how much the situation changed.
He knew from the jump I only wanted to be friends and in all honesty I do like him, but moreso I wanted more male friends at my school. I barely know anyone.
I am not sure if he didn't recognize me at the first event though, that's just the impression I got.
But I definitely agree with yall, he is not into me. It's just my friends gassing my head up about him approaching me instead of me approaching him. Sigh.
Too bad the majority of the few black guys at my college are in frats. lol
blue_flower
Well-Known Member
The guy obviously isn't into you. Sorry, but it's true. I get plenty of run ins with guys like that: they want to sweet talk you and as soon as you don't give it up, they just cut you off. I agree with ThickHair: when you didn't go to his room he was done with you. I would ignore him and stop initiating contact.
blue_flower
Well-Known Member
I've never heard of this phrase before to describe guys. I like it!
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Don't give up all hope, just wait and see what happens. I was like you 20+ years ago in college. I saw my dh on campus and was like 
lol. He ignored me for the most part for months accept for an occasional hello or dance at a party. When I finally said whatever it's his loss, he approached me. And the rest is history. You just never know. But don't chase or approach him and stop the "I just want to be friends" talk, I think you would be quite happy if he asked you out on a date.
lol. He ignored me for the most part for months accept for an occasional hello or dance at a party. When I finally said whatever it's his loss, he approached me. And the rest is history. You just never know. But don't chase or approach him and stop the "I just want to be friends" talk, I think you would be quite happy if he asked you out on a date.
ThatJerseyGirl
Well-Known Member
*lightin up my newport*
see, das dat bullshyt ri der....
first, he don't even remember you, cuz he done been wif so many broads, you're a numba. second, don't ever ever play urself like dat again. Period. when he didn't acknowledge you, dat shoulda been a wrap right there....plus he a frat boy, he tryna get as much puddi as he can. and trust, he's gettin it. be glad he didn't get with u, cuz no tellin what he passin around....and i'm willin to bet his penis bout to burn off anyway cuz he done ran up in so much boody, don't make no sense.
to him, ur an option. with frat boys, there is no such thing as "friends." all they wanna do is hit, tell his boys (which, by da way will make u a hot commodity on campus, and surely you don't want ur name smeared on campus, or worse, get a letter from the health office tellin u dat u picked up an STD cuz he had to tell who he slept wif, etc) and keep it movin... he ain't gonna hit you up no more on Facebook cuz its too difficult to get in ur drawers.
consider urself lucky. i know yall young, but stop going for looks all da time (i know, i know...)
if you wanna friend dat bad, getchu one of those nerdy Steve Urkel lookin math/science major guys. Hell, those the ones that'll do your homework, carry ur books, and can benefit you.... ten times outta ten, they ain't burnin cuz nobody givin them any nookie...lololol...but ur boy, his weewee is tainted chile..
see, das dat bullshyt ri der....
first, he don't even remember you, cuz he done been wif so many broads, you're a numba. second, don't ever ever play urself like dat again. Period. when he didn't acknowledge you, dat shoulda been a wrap right there....plus he a frat boy, he tryna get as much puddi as he can. and trust, he's gettin it. be glad he didn't get with u, cuz no tellin what he passin around....and i'm willin to bet his penis bout to burn off anyway cuz he done ran up in so much boody, don't make no sense.
to him, ur an option. with frat boys, there is no such thing as "friends." all they wanna do is hit, tell his boys (which, by da way will make u a hot commodity on campus, and surely you don't want ur name smeared on campus, or worse, get a letter from the health office tellin u dat u picked up an STD cuz he had to tell who he slept wif, etc) and keep it movin... he ain't gonna hit you up no more on Facebook cuz its too difficult to get in ur drawers.
consider urself lucky. i know yall young, but stop going for looks all da time (i know, i know...)
if you wanna friend dat bad, getchu one of those nerdy Steve Urkel lookin math/science major guys. Hell, those the ones that'll do your homework, carry ur books, and can benefit you....
ten times outta ten, they ain't burnin cuz nobody givin them any nookie...lololol...but ur boy, his weewee is tainted chile..
PatTodd
Well-Known Member
^^^^If I could only thank her 10 times!
As an "old" lady, I must say, reading your post really took me back to those college days when we second-guessed everything a boy said or did and always gave him the benefit of the doubt. When you get a little older, you will know that if a man is not initiating contact with you (and sometimes even if he is), he's not into you. You did the right thing by not going to his room (never do that, by the way). He will continue to acknowledge you when his boys are looking because that way it looks like you are one of the pretty girls in his "stable" and none of his friends will try to step to you. Speak when he speaks to you, otherwise, move on.
As an "old" lady, I must say, reading your post really took me back to those college days when we second-guessed everything a boy said or did and always gave him the benefit of the doubt. When you get a little older, you will know that if a man is not initiating contact with you (and sometimes even if he is), he's not into you. You did the right thing by not going to his room (never do that, by the way). He will continue to acknowledge you when his boys are looking because that way it looks like you are one of the pretty girls in his "stable" and none of his friends will try to step to you. Speak when he speaks to you, otherwise, move on.
thanks again
I am definitely not doing the initiating anymore.
my friends just don't understand why i still felt like it was all a game and that this whole situation was not going anywhere.
My cousin went through the same situation with another frat who tried to get her into his room and the only time he hit her up was at like midnight asking her to come over...
I guess I will be going back into my 'I can't stand guys' mode again. lol...I have the worst luck.
I am definitely not doing the initiating anymore.
my friends just don't understand why i still felt like it was all a game and that this whole situation was not going anywhere.
My cousin went through the same situation with another frat who tried to get her into his room and the only time he hit her up was at like midnight asking her to come over...
I guess I will be going back into my 'I can't stand guys' mode again. lol...I have the worst luck.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Don't let this one little situation throw you off. You do not have the worst luck
. Think positively and be open to people, just be cautious and don't chase. Nothing wrong with being optimistic and open. Lots of women have boyfriends and someone who cares about them, why shouldn't you too?locabouthair
Well-Known Member
^Just know that if a guy is really interested he will make the effort to call and spend time with you.
And dont think you have the worst luck.
And dont think you have the worst luck.
MissMeWithThatIsh
New Member
It doesn't sound like he was interested enough.
Even if you only look "busted" that one time, it was enough to leave a "lasting" first impression no matter how you looked any time after that. Not that you can't redeem yourself, but you coulda flipped it in your favor and put him on the chase for you by saying "no, gotta go, i'll meet you some other day."
Chill on him. He's a moot point of interest right now.
And he's all "ME PHI ME" aka all into himself at the moment...
Even if you only look "busted" that one time, it was enough to leave a "lasting" first impression no matter how you looked any time after that. Not that you can't redeem yourself, but you coulda flipped it in your favor and put him on the chase for you by saying "no, gotta go, i'll meet you some other day."
Chill on him. He's a moot point of interest right now.
And he's all "ME PHI ME" aka all into himself at the moment...
I wouldn't say he's not into you, op. (although i usually say that)
You didn't really give him a chance to make the first move. or the 2nd.. 3rd...etc.
whenever he's online you always hit him up
it started when you went from the place writing your paper to his dorm to meet him-- you set the standard that first day, by not making him come to you. you told him you'd walk over to him. room service. (not in a sexual way).
but,
i think if you fall back for awhile you'll see if he likes you.
give him a chance to make a move.
and stay away from his frat activities. college guys in frat activites- step shows, probates all that group stuff- they aren't acting for their own interests. they're acting and participating for the good of the group. and to show off. and to be the 'man' the frat thinks they are. so sensitivity may not be a part of that-- not until he's more mature anyway.
generally i've found guys act strange when they are all in a group. my college b.f. was in a frat and he'd act different around them. i refused to be 'that girl', and didn't want to be characterized as a groupie. no frat activities for me!
anway i'm trying to say (i'm tired too lol) that the way he acted at the probate, may not dictate how he feels about you. it just may have been a conflict of interest. and you are not his g.f. so...
relax a bit, don't contact him and see what happens. next time you see him just smile from a distance but don't go over to him. let him come to you. if he does, be pleasant and nice. don't ask him out. don't scold him for his absence. don't text him!
You didn't really give him a chance to make the first move. or the 2nd.. 3rd...etc.
whenever he's online you always hit him up
it started when you went from the place writing your paper to his dorm to meet him-- you set the standard that first day, by not making him come to you. you told him you'd walk over to him. room service. (not in a sexual way).
but,
i think if you fall back for awhile you'll see if he likes you.
give him a chance to make a move.
and stay away from his frat activities. college guys in frat activites- step shows, probates all that group stuff- they aren't acting for their own interests. they're acting and participating for the good of the group. and to show off. and to be the 'man' the frat thinks they are. so sensitivity may not be a part of that-- not until he's more mature anyway.
generally i've found guys act strange when they are all in a group. my college b.f. was in a frat and he'd act different around them. i refused to be 'that girl', and didn't want to be characterized as a groupie. no frat activities for me!
anway i'm trying to say (i'm tired too lol) that the way he acted at the probate, may not dictate how he feels about you. it just may have been a conflict of interest. and you are not his g.f. so...
relax a bit, don't contact him and see what happens. next time you see him just smile from a distance but don't go over to him. let him come to you. if he does, be pleasant and nice. don't ask him out. don't scold him for his absence. don't text him!
I am definitely falling back, I am no longer texting or facebooking him anymore, I made that decision yesterday lol.
I never chase guys, but I guess it was the attention and the nice convos we had in the beginning.
But I just can't give up the frat/soror events...they're the only fun things about my school and the only time you see black people come out to hang
I shall see what happens in the next few months...
I never chase guys, but I guess it was the attention and the nice convos we had in the beginning.
But I just can't give up the frat/soror events...they're the only fun things about my school and the only time you see black people come out to hang
I shall see what happens in the next few months...
sorry I wasn't clear. I wasn't trying to advise you to give up fraternity events
i'm just saying don't try to engage him at those events.
he doesn't sound mature enough to respond well to you while under group pressure.
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