or is he a hopeless case?
Im 20 years old and ive been talking to this guy for about a month and a half now. here are times when he is very endearing and affectionate but often times I want to just shake this ish out of this kid and be like "what is your problem." The two times I’ve tried to suggest that we should just be friends, he some how pulls me back in and makes me feel bad for wanting to walk out on him.
The thing is that I know he’s been through a lot, negative family life, lack of love in the home, dad left and has been cheated on several times by ex’s. Although I know im not obligated to help him cope with his sad life or anything like that, I would feel bad just walking out on him especially since a lot of people have already done so and thats part of the root of his issues. And maybe its my female traits or my hope to become a psychologist that makes me believe I can impact this guy in a positive way. He’s very insecure and his views on the world are pretty negative and he constantly plays the victim role and the “its your fault” card. He’s not as affectionate as I would like in a partner but the random spurs of affection and the fact that I know where his inability to be emotionally available comes from, makes me want to give him a chance and makes me believe he can change.
His guard is usually up making it hard to create any real bond but the times when he lets it down are really enjoyable.
Anyway, im wondering if I should entertain this thing any longer. At the very least he occupies my boring summer and ive seen some real good movies free of charge lately lol. Im going back to school in about 1.5 month anyway but I really want to know just in case this occurs in future relationships as well.
Do you give men like this a chance/time to change or do you not give them a chance at all? They’ve been hurt and I know if I was hurt I would want someone to invest time and patience in me too. Is it ok to play the counselor role in a relationship to affect change and help someone be a better them or resolve internal issues?
I kind of don’t buy the whole “you cant change people”, I think people are very easily influenced and therefore possibly changed by others (of course if they are ready to be changed. )
Im 20 years old and ive been talking to this guy for about a month and a half now. here are times when he is very endearing and affectionate but often times I want to just shake this ish out of this kid and be like "what is your problem." The two times I’ve tried to suggest that we should just be friends, he some how pulls me back in and makes me feel bad for wanting to walk out on him.
The thing is that I know he’s been through a lot, negative family life, lack of love in the home, dad left and has been cheated on several times by ex’s. Although I know im not obligated to help him cope with his sad life or anything like that, I would feel bad just walking out on him especially since a lot of people have already done so and thats part of the root of his issues. And maybe its my female traits or my hope to become a psychologist that makes me believe I can impact this guy in a positive way. He’s very insecure and his views on the world are pretty negative and he constantly plays the victim role and the “its your fault” card. He’s not as affectionate as I would like in a partner but the random spurs of affection and the fact that I know where his inability to be emotionally available comes from, makes me want to give him a chance and makes me believe he can change.
His guard is usually up making it hard to create any real bond but the times when he lets it down are really enjoyable.
Anyway, im wondering if I should entertain this thing any longer. At the very least he occupies my boring summer and ive seen some real good movies free of charge lately lol. Im going back to school in about 1.5 month anyway but I really want to know just in case this occurs in future relationships as well.
Do you give men like this a chance/time to change or do you not give them a chance at all? They’ve been hurt and I know if I was hurt I would want someone to invest time and patience in me too. Is it ok to play the counselor role in a relationship to affect change and help someone be a better them or resolve internal issues?
I kind of don’t buy the whole “you cant change people”, I think people are very easily influenced and therefore possibly changed by others (of course if they are ready to be changed. )
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