Is anyone just done?

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

My head hurts.

I really can see myself purposefully staying single. I just don't have any hope when it comes to love and marriage anymore.

Yes, I have been hurt and I know time heals all wounds, but I have never been so sure about myself and this 'love thang.'

I am at a point where I just don't have the time nor the energy to even TRY to start again.

I also realized that in my recently tanked relationship that just because a man's not hitting you or cheating on you doesn't mean you should stay with him.

I give men the side eye hard now and I don't care about hurting their fragile egos either...

Interestingly, so many men have been approaching me. I guess my 'I am desperate' personna has changed to a ' I don't give a damn' one and they have been flocking to me like flies to decaying crap AND they have been honest with me about themselves UPFRONT without me asking them reasons for their lack of attention to me. I don't even have to ask for a reason why they didn't call me when they said they would...

 

[GeorginaSparks]

i thought you were married?

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

i thought you were married?

Back in the day when I was young, dumb, and full of

 

[SweetNic_JA]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I remember when you were married and you two seemed genuinely happy...You are hurting right now, even through your anger. Your blood will settle and your heart will mend, and just like an elastic band it will snap back into shape. It is possible to love again, even though it seems so impossible right now.

Focus on getting your suga bubblin again and let yourself heal.

 

[locabouthair]

(((HUGS)))

 

[diadall]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I remember when you were married and you two seemed genuinely happy...You are hurting right now, even through your anger. Your blood will settle and your heart will mend, and just like an elastic band it will snap back into shape. It is possible to love again, even though it seems so impossible right now.

Focus on getting your suga bubblin again and let yourself heal.

Great advice.

Sent from my SGH-T959V using SGH-T959V

 

[Murjani]

Back in the day when I was young, dumb, and full of

Haven't hear this saying in years..

I just think you need some TIME...away from all the relationship/men stuff...revisit when you are truly ready

 

[SurferBabe]

This would be the perfect time to fall in love with yourself again. You can be open to love without having to purposely seek it out. In fact, having a "I don't give a d***" attitude may make it easier to hold tight to your standards since you are not desperate for a relationship right now.

 

[MissYocairis]

This would be the perfect time to fall in love with yourself again. You can be open to love without having to purposely seek it out. In fact, having a "I don't give a d***" attitude may make it easier to hold tight to your standards since you are not desperate for a relationship right now.

^^^LOVE this! It's true! perfect time! I remember when you were married too, Bubblin'. (this is CBC)

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

^^^LOVE this! It's true! perfect time! I remember when you were married too, Bubblin'. (this is CBC)

LAWD THE HEAVENS ARE ON EARTH!!!

Girl I have been wondering about you and I was wondering where you were!!!


)))))SUPER LOVE HUGS, HONEY((((((

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I remember when you were married and you two seemed genuinely happy...You are hurting right now, even through your anger. Your blood will settle and your heart will mend, and just like an elastic band it will snap back into shape. It is possible to love again, even though it seems so impossible right now.

Focus on getting your suga bubblin again and let yourself heal.

Can I be bluntly honest?

I don't even know if I want the blood to settle and my heart to mend.

I have never felt so sure about myself before. Like I mentioned, I know time heals all wounds, but this wound right here, I kinda like it.

Let me explain why I like it- it's because now I love me and I realized that I only have one life to live. I refuse to live it according to a man's ego.

My 77 year old gma, and 80+ year old cousin and great aunt have been married before and all three of them are finally HAPPY with their single life.

I look at this, I look at how vibrant they are and they dispel the myths that once you get old, you want someone to grow old with you. They don't give a damn

I am allowing myself to feel this anger, the relief (yes yall, I feel relief from being divorced AND breaking off engagements), joy, confusion, bitterness, etc instead of me pretending like I am super woman to others so I won't hear those insensitive arsed words 'don't be bitter because you may hurt the next man.' Lol, it always ends up returning to a man and their feelings, lol.

I can finally say I am truely at peace with God's plan for my life, which is what I believe to stay single. Who knows, maybe I will get married but I am no longer going to try to seek out men or make sure they seek me out anymore. If the good Lord came down from heaven right now and told me 'yes, you are a female version of Paul and I want you to stay single and serve me' I will accept it with no qualms.

Okay, I rambled long enough. Thanks for listening.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

I've been done for some time. I enjoy being single. I have the energy to put into building my career and just having fun. Relationships were really draining and confining for me. You should just continue taking time to enjoy yourself and not worry about dating right now. And if you decide to date again, you will be stronger and less likely to put up with crap.

 

[natural_one]

I have already decided that if my current SO and I don't work out, I'm done. I have always enjoyed being single and I have enough friends and family that my life would be fulfilled.

ETA: I would do all the things I always wanted to do, like move to NY or LA. I would keep a few boytoys around for entertainment but other that just enjoy my life

 

[Lucie]

I know how you feel. You spend so much time with one person and to think of how things have turned out, hurts! A lot! But, time DOES heal! Trust me. I used to feel so sad when people would tell me that and think they couldn't possibly understand how I felt. As for getting into new relationship, there is no set time. I thought it would take me years to move on, but guess what? I did find a terrific new man, who truly understands me and is patient with me.

In the time that I did not date, I learned a lot about myself. My strengths. My weaknesses. And for my weaknesses, I truly did a 180 and worked on becoming a better me. Whatever you decide, whether you are speaking in the moment or have totally made up your mind, you will be better than OKAY. You are a smart, beautiful, kind, young woman and I know things will be better than you ever imagined. xoxo

 

[AnjelLuvs]

This would be the perfect time to fall in love with yourself again. You can be open to love without having to purposely seek it out. In fact, having a "I don't give a d***" attitude may make it easier to hold tight to your standards since you are not desperate for a relationship right now.

I really LOVE this post, it is the truth...

 

[ElegantPearl17]

This thread is right on T-I-M-E!!

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Back in the day when I was young, dumb, and full of

Im very sorry to hear that. *hugs*

 

[zzirvingj]

I also thought you were still married. I'm sorry you're going through this. How long has it been since the break up? I agree you may just need more time.

 

[blac_quarian]

Can I be bluntly honest?

I don't even know if I want the blood to settle and my heart to mend.

I have never felt so sure about myself before. Like I mentioned, I know time heals all wounds, but this wound right here, I kinda like it.

Let me explain why I like it- it's because now I love me and I realized that I only have one life to live. I refuse to live it according to a man's ego.
My 77 year old gma, and 80+ year old cousin and great aunt have been married before and all three of them are finally HAPPY with their single life.

I look at this, I look at how vibrant they are and they dispel the myths that once you get old, you want someone to grow old with you. They don't give a damn

I am allowing myself to feel this anger, the relief (yes yall, I feel relief from being divorced AND breaking off engagements), joy, confusion, bitterness, etc instead of me pretending like I am super woman to others so I won't hear those insensitive arsed words 'don't be bitter because you may hurt the next man.' Lol, it always ends up returning to a man and their feelings, lol.

I can finally say I am truely at peace with God's plan for my life, which is what I believe to stay single. Who knows, maybe I will get married but I am no longer going to try to seek out men or make sure they seek me out anymore. If the good Lord came down from heaven right now and told me 'yes, you are a female version of Paul and I want you to stay single and serve me' I will accept it with no qualms.

Okay, I rambled long enough. Thanks for listening.

This is all part of the healing you are going thru. Sometimes we are not even cognizant of the healing. Often we may think healing has a some kind of given protocol, but it's happening even as you typed this response and by started this thread. Healing takes many forms. Be well and do what makes YOU feel right. Everything you are feeling is a valid

 

[Dee Raven]

Well, I'm done too. It's too much work and too little return, IMO. The society we live in is overly misogynistic and accepting of disrespectful, nonsupportive men and I don't have time for that. But I have always felt like I was called to a life of singleness, so oh well. As for you Bublin, you know what's right for you. But I do wish you well during this time. Break ups are hard.

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

You all know what?

I am thankful for this ending.

I kinda think of things differently than a lot of people. For example, take the death of Minnie Riperton. When I saw her story on Unsung and to see a loving, caring, and devoted mother and wife, an angelic singer, just a sweet spirit being taken from this earth prematurely via breast cancer ravenging her body, my initial reaction was to get angry and wonder why good people die and these idiots reign on the earth.

But then I thought about something.

She was taken from this earth with an untarnished image. If she remained here, no telling what she could've gotten involved with that would've hurt more people than her death did.

I look at this failed relationship the same way. Instead of me moping about the wasted dreams and plans we planned, I thank God that I am not drowning my tears with liquor, illegal drugs, sexual escapades...basically anything that would be my demise and in return cause others to be depressed because of me.

I will be honest- I tried to escape the pain back in the day. This is one reason why I kept going back to my ex. I didn't like the pain from our partings, so I would go back to him.

Now, I am wiser. I am allowing myself to feel it all because I know I won't be feeling it as much this time next year.

 

[MissJ]

I thought you were still happily married, too. I remember you posting the story of how you and your now ex-husband met and everything. I've never been married, so I don't have any advice on life after a divorce. I hope you feel better though.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

My head hurts.

I really can see myself purposefully staying single. I just don't have any hope when it comes to love and marriage anymore.

Yes, I have been hurt and I know time heals all wounds, but I have never been so sure about myself and this 'love thang.'

I am at a point where I just don't have the time nor the energy to even TRY to start again.

I also realized that in my recently tanked relationship that just because a man's not hitting you or cheating on you doesn't mean you should stay with him.

I give men the side eye hard now and I don't care about hurting their fragile egos either...

Interestingly, so many men have been approaching me. I guess my 'I am desperate' personna has changed to a ' I don't give a damn' one and they have been flocking to me like flies to decaying crap AND they have been honest with me about themselves UPFRONT without me asking them reasons for their lack of attention to me. I don't even have to ask for a reason why they didn't call me when they said they would...

Awwww...

I think you're just fed up, tired, and still have some healing to do. I have felt the same way you are feeling right now, and usually it was after a bad breakup. I just didn't have the strength anymore.

I think it's good that you are not giving a care to any men right now. Honestly....I think that's a GOOD thing for you right now because you probably still need to heal from the previous relationship.

Now that I'm over the whole relationship and all the past hurt & pain, I'm feeling more open and optimistic about my future love life. I can't honestly say that I don't feel like putting in the towel sometimes, but I feel a little more optimistic about it at least. I haven't given up on men YET lol, but I have given up on WORRYING about being in a relationship or worrying about WHEN I'll finally find my Prince Charming. There's no use worrying about it imo.

I'm not even surprised the men are flocking towards you. They can probably sense that you're not "desperate" for a relationship and that is always attractive to men.

Just hang in there... I think that with a little bit of time, you will feel differently again. But in the meantime, it's GOOD to take a break and just focus on yourself for a change.

 

[ONAMSHN]

I think you are just sick and tired of being sick and tired, and AIN'T NUTHIN WRONG WITH THAT!!!!

 

[Arian]

**raises hand** Now I'm just doing whatever...sad: