Interracial relationships

My ex husband was Mexican-American. I was terrified to meet his parents, because I thought they would have a problem with us dating. Turns out they were the sweetest people in the world. Our parents even went to high school together (small world). We did have a lot of cultural differences. For example he expected me to do 100% of the domestic duties even though I worked 2 jobs. He worked part time. His family was very wealthy and supported him/us financially and that made him lazy. One of the many reasons hes an ex. He also had a drinking problem that he blamed on being mexican. Wtf?!

He was also very jealous and verbally abusive.

Currently I am married to an Italian/Hispanic man. He works hard, takes care of home, great with our kids, etc. When we first started dating black guys would give me a hard time about dating outside of my race. And occassionally a white girl tries to test me, but I kindly let them know to have several seats lol!
 
Last edited:
I've only ever been in interracial relationships. I've dated a few white men but had two long-term relationships with hispanic men (one Puerto Rican, one Guatemalan). It was interesting meeting their families because there were language barriers and cultural differences (mainly food) that I had to adapt to. I never REALLY knew what either one's parents thought of me, but they were always hospitable when I visited so I'd say I was accepted. I have experienced discussions about race with my love interests but they were mainly educational/informative, not ignorant or unaccepting. Overall, I've had mainly positive experiences (in terms of race) in both dating and having long-term relationships with men of other races. I'm not dating anyone at the moment though.
 
Prettymetty said:
Currently I am married to an Italian/Hispanic man. He works hard, takes care of home, great with our kids, etc. When we first started dating black guys would give me a hard time about dating outside of my race. And occassionally a white girl tries to test me, but I kindly let them know to have several seats lol!
Click to expand...

This sounds like my dream lol! I love Italian men, and your marriage sounds wonderful :) I'm glad you got out of that abusive relationship prior :nono:
 
I've also only been in interracial relationships. That's the only kind of relationship I could be in since I'm interracial myself. My preference has always been for white men though I did date an Indian for a long time. We were on the track for marriage but I ended it bc it didn't feel 100% right. Current SO is white and I feel that we were made for each other!

Do I feel like people stare when I'm out with a white man? Sure. Does it bother me? Nah!

Sent from my iPad mini mini.
 
I was married to a white man (Italian). He was a terrific guy. Taught me about unconditional love, putting myself first and learning how to say, "No." I am currently dating a Haitian man. Love him to pieces. He is the opposite of my ex-husband but even more wonderful. I prefer black men. I mostly have dated black men with a white man here and there. I am not even sure I could be with a man that is not Haitian anymore.
 
Most of my previous bfs have been black men, but my last bf was white. :yep:

Honestly, he was probably one of the sweetest guys I've ever dated. VERY attentive, awesome conversations, thoughtful, and he would shower me with so much praise I almost felt overwhelmed at times lol :look:. We had a lot in common, and he was always very open and forthright with me. :yep:

I never had any problems with family/friends/people staring... Maybe I was too busy having fun to even notice lol. :lol: We had the same mutual friends, so there was never any "conversation" to be had or any fear that I would be looked at weirdly or anything.

I'm single now, but I would definitely date interracially again in the future. :grin: :yep: I've ALWAYS been interested in guys of ALL races....ever since I was 11 years old....and that one guy in my class lol... :giggle:

To me I figure that men are MEN. I try not to look at things as "race" this and "race" that, because I think that type of view tends to divide us unnecessarily, when at the end of the day, we're ALL human. #shrug

IDK..... Maybe that's just my opinion, but the way I look at it, men are men. I know IRR isn't for everyone, but for ME....I'm not going to pass up a nice guy who's interested in me just because he has a different skin hue than me. :rolleyes:
 
for me the most important thing about being in interracial relationsihps is not to be "colorblind" or try to ignore our cultural differences. i think a lot of people probably prefer to pretend these things aren't important, but for me interracial relationships wouldn't work AT ALL if i tried to pretend like we don't experience life differently with direct reference to race.

my last ex was indian, ex before that was white. im currently single, but the last guy i was interested in is native american even though for the most part he looks hispanic. the only races i dont really go out with much are mexican/latin and asian. asian men don't ask me out though i did go out with a vietnamese man a few months ago.
 
I've never been in one, but living where I live, I believe I need to be more open to the idea. Sadly, it still feels taboo to me.

Will be lurking this thread.
 
my ex was italian, and it wasnt all that (/bitter ex talk? :lol:). best thing about him being italian was his full head of thick dark hair :lol: and that he could cook... at the time i thought he was a fantastic cook, but ive since dated other guys that are better cooks. i feel like every non-black man i date can throw down in the kitchen.
 
Im currently in an interracial relationship. His father is white & mom is Mexican. No one believes he could be hispanic because his skin is so fair. This is absolutely the best relationship I have ever been in. Im foreseeing an engagement early next year. I want to go to the court house however he insists for me to be patient so that he can give me a proper proposal & a big wedding. *shrugs* Court house just seems better to me.
 
Last edited:
My DH is white but in the past I only dated black guys. I never had a preference for one or the other, the way I see it is that my exes were a$$es and my DH is not. Simple for me. His family was always very welcoming, though it took a bit for my family to get over themselves.

Unfortunately some people don't see it that way. All the flack we got from our relationship has been from random black guys. The worse was one day when we were walking home from work, literally just walking not holding hands or anything. Some guy at the corner was eyeing us weird but I paid him no mind. As we passed he muttered something under his breath. I turned and said "excuse me?" and he just unloads on me. He called me all kinds of names and said other horrible things. It was so unnerving. The worse was he was in our neighborhood and from time to time I would hear someone yelling and see that it was him, cursing me out again. This even happened once when I was walking with my then boss to a meeting :nono: Afterwards we reported it to the campus police. That was probably over a year ago, and since we moved we haven't seen him since.

That being said if I had to do it over I would absolutely choose DH. If anything, if I ever see that guy again I'll make out with DH in front of him :grin:
 
emada said:
My DH is white but in the past I only dated black guys. I never had a preference for one or the other, the way I see it is that my exes were a$$es and my DH is not. Simple for me. His family was always very welcoming, though it took a bit for my family to get over themselves.

Unfortunately some people don't see it that way. All the flack we got from our relationship has been from random black guys. The worse was one day when we were walking home from work, literally just walking not holding hands or anything. Some guy at the corner was eyeing us weird but I paid him no mind. As we passed he muttered something under his breath. I turned and said "excuse me?" and he just unloads on me. He called me all kinds of names and said other horrible things. It was so unnerving. The worse was he was in our neighborhood and from time to time I would hear someone yelling and see that it was him, cursing me out again. This even happened once when I was walking with my then boss to a meeting :nono: Afterwards we reported it to the campus police. That was probably over a year ago, and since we moved we haven't seen him since.

That being said if I had to do it over I would absolutely choose DH. If anything, if I ever see that guy again I'll make out with DH in front of him :grin:
Click to expand...

Oh wow. I hear these stories all the time but never this extreme. People are crazy.
 
Been in several, no difference than a same race relationship to me. My standards and expectations are the same no matter what you look like.
 
I have always dated Inter-culturally( Black people of different culture or country) or Inter-racially. I am currently talking to a Turkish guy. He is the sweetest thing ever!! His English is not the best but he is very nice and attentive and cute. We will see how it goes.

I don't care if people stare or look. I notice that white women have the most problem if Im out with my Turk man. Black men hated it when I dated the hispanic guys and looked even more confused when we would converse in Spanish. :lol:

I my preference is African(black). I would love to date an AA but Ive havent had many AA suitors. I always tend to attract Foreign men, some how! White or Black.
 
emada said:
My DH is white but in the past I only dated black guys. I never had a preference for one or the other, the way I see it is that my exes were a$$es and my DH is not. Simple for me. His family was always very welcoming, though it took a bit for my family to get over themselves.

Unfortunately some people don't see it that way. All the flack we got from our relationship has been from random black guys. The worse was one day when we were walking home from work, literally just walking not holding hands or anything. Some guy at the corner was eyeing us weird but I paid him no mind. As we passed he muttered something under his breath. I turned and said "excuse me?" and he just unloads on me. He called me all kinds of names and said other horrible things. It was so unnerving. The worse was he was in our neighborhood and from time to time I would hear someone yelling and see that it was him, cursing me out again. This even happened once when I was walking with my then boss to a meeting :nono: Afterwards we reported it to the campus police. That was probably over a year ago, and since we moved we haven't seen him since.

That being said if I had to do it over I would absolutely choose DH. If anything, if I ever see that guy again I'll make out with DH in front of him :grin:
Click to expand...


How awful! :nono: :nono:
 
My fiance is white European and I'm black Hispanic. I find most of our differences stem from his views/culture as a Frenchman while mine are American. He doesn't quite understand all the racial issues we have in the states, in France people are not identified as white/black/latino/etc, they're just French.

We haven't ran across any issues being together here, at least not yet. His family adores me, our relationship has been very smooth sailing, thankfully!
 
Every relationship I've been in lol.... I'm multiracial/cultural so it comes with the territory. Honestly, race is just about the last thing I care about when it comes to romantic relationships or friendships. I have found guys from all kinds of backgrounds attractive....I think I just like men period, LOL.

I don't really care what other people think. I've always lived in major city type areas where it's pretty common/diverse/etc. so I've never really experienced any craziness, though I know others who have. Sometimes it surprises me this is still an issue....I mean it's 2014! C'mon people.
 
pre_medicalrulz said:
Im currently in an interracial relationship. His father is white & mom is Mexican. No one believes he could be hispanic because his skin is so fair. This is absolutely the best relationship I have ever been in. Im foreseeing an engagement early next year. I want to go to the court house however he insists for me to be patient so that he can give me a proper proposal & a big wedding. *shrugs* Court house just seems better to me.
Click to expand...

Courthouse is just fine for me. I cant see myself spending all that money for a day. You know how many wigs/conditioners/oils I can buy with that $$? Shoot lmao!!
 
sweetvi said:
pre_medicalrulz

wow you see how quickly things can change

just last year we were all complaining about being single...and look at you now haha
Click to expand...

I knooooow right!!! Lol! :)

Prettymetty said:
Courthouse is just fine for me. I cant see myself spending all that money for a day. You know how many wigs/conditioners/oils I can buy with that $$? Shoot lmao!!
Click to expand...

Lmbo!!!!! Girl this had me rolling!
 
My ex husband was Mexican- American and I cosign everything you said minus the drinking. Very narcissistic and what I do will never equal his output, despite he JUST went to school while I worked a full time job, went to school plus housework and they all had to be to his standard. Oh yeah, that and write his papers, blah. Good riddance.

My fiancé prior to that was African American. Narcissistic also.

Finally I was like, "HM, why the arseholes?" Every single one of them. There was the Senior in high school while I was a freshmen: the Nigerian Baseball Star Arsehole. Because they show some sort of preferential treatment that was outside their normal narcissistic tendencies does not make you special, it makes you a doormat and them a leech."

Once I figured that out, dating is okay. I have been seeing a Persian guy for nine months. From the start I told him I will be open about everything. I do not know if it is going to be a happy ending. Maybe not, but my new motto is being present. Trying not to think about the past or future and be appreciative for the moments I am experiencing, because, frankly, I have a lot of work to do and catching up, as far as self love, career, family life. I may not have time for the type of relationship I want right now. And he respects and understands that.

We are alike but different. My parents are like you tried it "your way" and it did not work so now go with this guy, but at the end of the day, I do what I want lol. His family, shhhhhhhttt. He was engaged twice to WW and they were more consumed with the "Persian lifestyle" and they ended up failing, partly due to their greed. So now mom is like you tried it your way, now Persian bride or you will always fail. I think that wounded him because he already went against tradition. I think that is partly because dad was married to a WW prior to marrying my BF's mom and she fleeced him financially. And dad was not the only son, so the patriarch responsibilities did not fall on him. So mother (Persian) is a bit smug. And I meet them next month...yay? I may flake on it, because I am not ready for disharmony and frankly, I am scared that he will not stand up for me if his mother disapproves. His mom has a way of getting ideas across from what I have observed. If I am being honest here. I do not have time to deal with that.

Another honest thought is I have to make sure I am not a compromise or settle. Yes I am a great girl: kind, caring and takes care of my friends and family, but do not settle on me. You either experience a deep connection with me or don't. I must admit the WW thing "concerns" me. When he generalizes them I know it comes from a place of hurt. And I correct him. It does nothing to stroke my ego, but it is weird because normally we are on here talking about the reverse scenario. Black men who feel some kind of way about BW and start degrading and building up WW. But yeah, I do not generalize AA men or Mexican Americans or Nigerian men because of bad experiences. I saw why I seek out these types and made a change.

These are my only two concerns. I going to need him to open up and let go and stand up for me. I do not know why I think he won't but I am going up against tradition here.

All these problems and deterrents are a check right now. I cannot get too involved, because I got things to do. Although sometimes I want to say ***** it, let's just do this. It is not the right time. Maybe next year if we last that long lol
 
Last edited:
This thread could get really interesting...

Yes, I have dated white dudes and no I don't prefer white dudes by any means. I prefer black men but all I ever seem to get approached by are blonds. Y'all can have them lol.

They ain't all that but you'd never know it by reading this forum.
 
I've dated my current boyfriend for going on a year. Prior to him I was in another interracial relationship. Love is love and you like what you like. I don't see color, but a few people around us do, and I feel bad for people like that.
 
Dating 2 white guys. The main one admitted last night that he was really proud of himself for hearing Beyonce's Drunk In Love and recognizing it because I played it for him.

We spend a lot of time together. He's clearly smitten, which is something I love. Not sure if its a "white guy" cultural thing or just that ive dated less expressive black guys in the past. No qualms about introducing me to his family and his lifestyle (he's a farmer in a 99.9% white country area). He's never been uncomfortable being affectionate towards me in front of others. I appreciate that.

Last night he was cuddling me and I asked if my hair (im natural, collarbone length when straight, had it styled in big loose curls) was poking him in the eye. He responded with "I dont mind. I love everything about your hair" and buries his face in it. I melted lol
 
Oh. And this is my first interracial relationship. I enjoy it. I've alwaus been attracted to men in general, so no real preference on my part. However ive noticed something odd. Since ive started dating him, im getting more attention from other white guys. Not while he and I are together (since we're too busy being wrapped up in each other usually) but just while out alone. Maybe im sending out a white guy radar lol
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Nella
Relationships
Replies
7
Views
2K
Supergirl
Supergirl
Candy1978
Natural Hair and Interracial Relationships
2 3 4
Replies
91
Views
18K
MsCounsel
MsCounsel
upandcoming
Relationships
Replies
6
Views
1K
Shimmie
Shimmie
neenzmj
Teaching on Marriage/Relationships
Replies
6
Views
2K
LatterGlory
L
Laela
Wrong Relationships....
Replies
6
Views
2K
Laela
Laela
Back
Top