In love with losers while looking over Mr Perfect

[anon123]

I heard this quote and it seems appropriate. Yeah, it's cliche and whatever, but it really has a way of hitting on the truth: "Some relationships are like roller coasters: thrilling in the short term but nauseating in the long term."

 

[PeaceFlow]

I'd like to add that good, loyal, commitment minded, career men do not have to = boring.

My SO is probably the most fun, sexy, manly man I've been in a relationship with, but he treats me really well too. My ex was a skinny, goody/goody geek, but brilliant in bed

I personally couldn't deal with someone who wasn't sexy (personality wise) to me and confident, but will compromise in other areas that are not so important.

 

[ManeStreet]

I have a wonderful boyfriend who is everything I ever wanted. Educated. Wonderful job. Smart. Goofy. Stable. Loving. Attentive. Etc. problem is I'm just not into him. No matter how great he is and how bad I've done in the past...he feels like I value my exes over him. I feel like I focus on the negatives with him (such as the sex isn't great. He whines at times. He's too sensitive)

On the other hand I have a douchebag ex. Left me out of the blue and you know how they are...they always come running back. Never the less I love him. I contemplating leaving my loving boyfriend on a chance. I feel butterflies with the diuchebag. We can laugh about anything. We can talk about anything. I feel like my current boyfriend is only insurance. He's my way to know I will be well taken care of, not one day be a single parent, and not being cheated on

Why do I constantly love the douchebags and feel no kind of love towards the nice guys. He's everything I ever wanted but that's not enough *sigh*

Advice from those who are older and once young dumb and "in love" like me

You sound like a normal
20 something. Dating at that age is about experiencing different personality types & situations. U learn alot about yourself as you date. It sounds like you arent 100% sure what "type" of man you want to be with & thats fine. Take a break from committed relationships for a while & just date different people & learn what you like & dont like.

Dont feel pressured to do heavy serious dating. Meet alot of different people, travel, take up new hobbies, try new things. It seems unrelated to dating but those activities will lead you in a positive direction in discovering who You are strengths/weaknesses & that will help you when it comes to dating.

 

[iCandyc]

I didn't read the other comments but I think you're actually not feeling your current because you're still stuck in your ex. Once you get over your ex completely your feelings for your current bf will change I was in this exact place once.

 

[tinkat]

I recommend you read baggage reclaim thoroughly. If your bf is not for you that is fine but to consider leaving him for a no good says a lot about how you feel about yourself. A lot of times we go after what is not good for us bc we feel that what we deserve is less or that love is suppose to have those fireworks. I have learned that those fireworks are sooooo overrated and fizzle quickly. Emotional roller coasters are for the birds.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours.Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Fine 4s]

I typed up this long message and lost it!

I would like to hear more about the ex. What made him a douche? He left you out of nowhere...tell me more.

Bottom line, you're not into your SO and it doesn't matter who comes sniffing around or not.

PrissiSippi,

Still waiting on more description of the ex....

 

[PrissiSippi]

@PrissiSippi,

Still waiting on more description of the ex....

I think I've posted about him before. We were only together 4 months. Those 4 months were great but there were some things I did like or want to tolerate. He would be consistently late. Everytime we were supposed to go out at 6 for example...it would be 7 or 8 until I saw him.

After we made our relationship public I started getting threatening phone calls from his ex. She said God told them they were supposed to be together and even though they had been broken up for 6 months, she wanted him back. She would call my phone late asking where was he...I asked himt o tell the girl to not call my phone and respect me...he never did.

One day we were going to make dinner together and watch a movie... He told me he was showing up at 5. He never showed up. I found out the girl drove from where she is to his house. She has a little boy whom my ex takes care of. She slit her wrists on his doorstep and said she would kill herself in front of her son unless he got back with her. He had to drive her to the ER and essentially that was the last time I heard from him.

We had already had some disagreements because of his neglience he had failed to show up for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or my birthday. His car was constantly breaking down. I felt like he wasn't reliable...I couldn't depend on him. On the other hand his personality is great. We don't need money...all we need is conversation, music, a movie or etc. We can do nothing and I feel on Cloud 9. I stay laughing....I don't feel the same with my boyfriend.

Also I like firm men. Tell me what you like/don't like and mean what you say. He often did that. He caught me when I was slipping (being lazy, not cleaning up like I used to, not keeping up with hair/makeup, not doing homework) That was a turn on to me.

My boyfriend now....he's a girly man in my opinion. I guess that's what a person should like. Instead of saying, "You're slipping on housework." he will say, "Baby is there anything you want me to help you clean up?" or "Do you need me to take out the puppy while you straighten the apartment up?" He is very sweet but in some instances he is passive. He can't speak his mind...when I force him to speak his mind by making him very angry....he curses and can't speak because he's not used to speaking his mind. My new boyfriend is very easy going....very sweet, but not manly at all. If someone were to wrong me...I couldn't see him sticking up for me because he assumes the 5th for everything. It's sad to say but he's just....too nice. I'm nice myself... I guess I don't like others just like me.

 

[Fine 4s]

OK-
I understand why above posters think that neither are a match for you. Not sure if the feelings towards your current SO are about you or him (could be a combo of both but time will tell.) However, your 'nice' guy has characteristics that remind me of my ex, very feminine. Didn't work for me. Couldn't see him standing up for me either...In the long run mr. 'nice' wasn't alwasys so 'nice' at times either.