Can you grow to love someone

[shenitab]

Go out with the man. It's just a date. I never really had a type. I didn't go goo-goo eyes over my husband when I first met him, but I sure did let him buy me a drink. I also was not looking for a relationship. I had just gotten rid of a deadbeat stalker a few months previously. I have to say, he did grown on me and eventually he knocked all the other dudes out of my dating rotation.
I don't know why ya'll aren't open to dating different "types" of people. I would go out with short, tall, light dark, white, black, hispanic, chubby, lean. As long as they were respectful and I felt I could trust them to act right (I always had my mace, cab money & telephone number, cell phone, and credit card just in case).

 

[Nyssa28]

Most times the guys that WERE my type weren't worth a hill of beans....Once I got over my preconceived notions, I was able to open my mind and eventually fall in love with the man that I'm going to marry. I couldn't be happier.

 

[jennboo]

Go on the date and stop it. He might knock your socks off and then you'll be singing a different tune!!!

Like others have said, it won't kill you, and you'll get a free meal out of it! lol.

You said he has a lot of great qualities and he isnt ugly. I don't understand this 'type' stuff. If you met a guy who was gorgeous but just was not your type, you would pass that up? Or is 'gorgeous' your type and this guy just isnt it?

try 'im out.

 

[TayMac]

Yes you can grow to love someone but you shouldn't be worried about all that yet lol! Just enjoy a nice date and go from there...

 

[BellaLunie]

I just read the op. How old are you? If you are 25 and under you can carry on with that foolishness but over that age I would hope that you realize looks fade and this economy has shown money goes away. If he is a good person give him a shot. Finding a decnet man seems to be a difficult thing so don't pass one up cause he's not pretty enough.

I'm 23 and I was with my ex(baby daddy) from ages 16-22 so this whole dating thing is new to me

 

[BellaLunie]

Thanks for the great advice ladies! I'm going to give him a shot. What's there to lose?

 

[MizAvalon]

Only you know the answer to that. Can you?

I am attracted to people immediately. Looks don't grow on me, I either like you or I don't.

 

[MizAvalon]

See that's the thing from all our conversations he's all that and more. I just can't picture myself with a blonde w muscles. These white boys need to leave me alone !

Say WHAT!! Pass him on over this way!

Please and Thank You.

 

[FlyyBohemian]

I Kinda understand wher you are coming from though. Theres this guy at my church who keeps on contacting me on facebook. Im 23 and hes like 35. Hes known me ever since I was about 14 or 15, and hes sudden interest is wierd. I also dont like dating guys that are that much older than me. How do I ward him off. Hes been at the house that my folks are building. Everyone in our church is family to each other so my parents just see him as a regular church member. Hes not being mean and he just mentioned I looked like a model once, but I really feel like laying him out, but i know that would be just rude when he hasnt done anything. Is it young minded for me to be thinking this way or for me to have a 5 year limit on who I date or marry?

 

[BellaLunie]

I Kinda understand wher you are coming from though. Theres this guy at my church who keeps on contacting me on facebook. Im 23 and hes like 35. Hes known me ever since I was about 14 or 15, and hes sudden interest is wierd. I also dont like dating guys that are that much older than me. How do I ward him off. Hes been at the house that my folks are building. Everyone in our church is family to each other so my parents just see him as a regular church member. Hes not being mean and he just mentioned I looked like a model once, but I really feel like laying him out, but i know that would be just rude when he hasnt done anything. Is it young minded for me to be thinking this way or for me to have a 5 year limit on who I date or marry?

hmm I dont like the sound of this guy. He's known you since you were 14/15? I think he's had those feelings since then. I would just be straight up with him. I'm 23 too and I wouldn't date anyone over 30 so I don't think it's young minded of you. Anything over that would be a problem for me because we wouldn't have anything in common

 

[Bunny77]

I Kinda understand wher you are coming from though. Theres this guy at my church who keeps on contacting me on facebook. Im 23 and hes like 35. Hes known me ever since I was about 14 or 15, and hes sudden interest is wierd. I also dont like dating guys that are that much older than me. How do I ward him off. Hes been at the house that my folks are building. Everyone in our church is family to each other so my parents just see him as a regular church member. Hes not being mean and he just mentioned I looked like a model once, but I really feel like laying him out, but i know that would be just rude when he hasnt done anything. Is it young minded for me to be thinking this way or for me to have a 5 year limit on who I date or marry?

Yeah, I think this is totally different though... I wouldn't want to be 23 dating a 35-year-old either, and I'd wonder why he couldn't find someone closer to his own age.

I think your reasons for not wanting to deal with this dude are very legit.

 

[Coffee]

My wonderful hubby didn't come in the package, I normally dated, but that's what God gives you sometimes. I think He does it to show us that He knows what's best for us. He wasn't unattractive, but larger than I would have liked, well we celebrated our 10th anniversary in June, and it really does make a difference what's in his heart . I'm so blessed!

 

[deltadreamland]

This!

I am not one to refuse free food when single. A girl's gotta eat!

Seriously though, it's a date. You may be pleasantly surprised. I was just telling my BFF last week, that some of the best relationships I've had are with men I wasn't initially attracted to. Looks pique your interest but do NOT keep you interested. It's really what's on the inside that matters. I know that sounds cliche.

I do believe you can grow to love someone. Good luck and report back to the thread, yanno we hate to be left hanging!!!!

And love this!

I completely co-sign this entire thread.

Now, I'm not saying that if I am still turned off after a date (or two or three) that I will force myself to be interested. I'll move on. Also, if the dude looks like Jabba the Hut, then no, I won't give it a chance.

But if he's just "average," and supposedly "not my type?" Yeah, he can have a shot. As I said, I'm thinking long term. When it's 3 a.m., and the baby is crying AGAIN and I need my man to get up and change some stinky diapers, do you think I'm gonna give a damn that he's not "my type?"

And when I'm looking like all hell stuck to my bed after a week with the flu and he's there to feed me soup, will I care that he's 5'9" instead of 6'2"?

I'm just sayin...

Well said ladies! I see it the same way.

 

[BellaLunie]

Well ladies I have to admit I took all your advice and gave him a shot. We went out to a sports bar Friday and he is just as sweet as he usually is! I had some family drama(a whole nother thread) and he is there and genuinely concerned about me. Today we plan on just relaxing and being lazy at his place. I'll keep y'all updated!

 

[LoveLongLocks]

If he is not your type, it will be hard to get over that....
I was in a situation like that, and I tried to keep the relationship....but, I could never get passed the whole attraction thing no matter what I did. So, I do believe that you have to be attractted to that person or you will never feel 100% about the relationship.