I'm sorry Phyto Pusha...my new goal is to ...

[MonaLisa]

eliminate you and your cause of a PhytoRelaxer world. Please forgive me for forsaking you....I love and admire what you have tried to do.

But, alas....my little sensitive heart cannot take anymore disheartening commentary regarding our beloved PhytoRelaxer. I must disencourage all use or thought of trying this product.

I cannot...push or support this product anymore...as it may spur someone to purchase it...and they will come back with tales that my heart cannot bear to absorb. I cannot take the silent tears that fall at my computer...

It hurts too much. Like, tiny stab wounds to my Phytoloving heart...that bleeds Milky Reconstructor.

Yes, yes dear heart....I wish, you wish, that everyone could experience our joy...that's why we wanted to spread the glorious word....of...PhytoRelaxer...

but...everyone is not....experiencing the joy....

so everytime I catch someone pushing the Phyto--giving glorious reviews...I'm gonna track down and post everything I can find to give them a reason not to try it...to spare them the pain of the unknown...of this hair terror...the Phyto.

Someone, must take the stand to have them stick with Affirm, Deep Brilliance, Just for Me, Revlon, etc. -- to not jump...off of that hair cliff...someone...must pull them back...

Forgive me KAddy, forgive my beloved Phyto family...for I may commit...a heinous sin against the family.

It must be done. It must.

*Mo tosses her black cape over her shoulder and dons a white half mask over her face...*

*Exit...stage left*

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

Mo, you are too funny. I was actually picturing a superhero as I was reading the words

As for phyto. For every 10 people who say they absolutely adore it there will be at least 1 to 2 people who hate it or have a bad experience with it. That goes for any relaxer! Same for hair products and so on and so forth!!

 

[AJamericanDiva]

<Diva takes a seat... excitedly anticipating the start of the unfolding drama.... >

 

[MonaLisa]

<Diva takes a seat... excitedly anticipating the start of the unfolding drama.... >

LMBO!!!! Oooh Diva! Thank the Lord for you! U sure nuff came right on time when I needed a really good laugh!!!!!

 

[MomofThreeBoys]

Mona,

You never fail to put a smile on my lips after reading your posts.

 

[UmSumayyah]

You're too late Mona. I've already got 2 boxes and am just waiting for 4 more weeks can pass so I can try this relaxer.

 

[MonaLisa]

You're too late Mona. I've already got 2 boxes and am just waiting for 4 more weeks can pass so I can try this relaxer.

Dayum UmSumayyah!!! I am so sorry!!! Let me apologize in advance on behalf of myself, the Pusha, the whole Phyto family here at LHCF, all the employees at all retailers and online beauty supply retailers that supply Phytorelaxer, the PhytoSpecific corporation and its employees, should you experience extremely dry hair, tangles, no body, emphysema, diarrehea, dry mouth, constipation or lack of sexual desire.

But if it comes out good, like I'm praying it does (Mo drops down on knees)...then I will make an exception...to let the Pusha take credit....(Please don't post...I don't want to have to break out a whole bunch of negative stuff about my beloved product...it's killing me to have to think about it).

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

You're too late Mona. I've already got 2 boxes and am just waiting for 4 more weeks can pass so I can try this relaxer.

....and I already have my phyto for my next touchup sometime in the spring

 

[MomofThreeBoys]

Dayum UmSumayyah!!! I am so sorry!!! Let me apologize in advance on behalf of myself, the Pusha, the whole Phyto family here at LHCF, all the employees at all retailers and online beauty supply retailers that supply Phytorelaxer, the PhytoSpecific corporation and its employees, should you experience extremely dry hair, tangles, no body, emphysema, diarrehea, dry mouth, constipation or lack of sexual desire.

But if it comes out good, like I'm praying it does (Mo drops down on knees)...then I will make an exception...to let the Pusha take credit....(Please don't post...I don't want to have to break out a whole bunch of negative stuff about my beloved product...it's killing me to have to think about it).

Don't you touch my Phyto relaxer review thread!

 

[UmSumayyah]

I'm sure it will be fine Mona. My hair LOVEEEES no-lye relaxers. This is the reaction it has to lye formulations: .

 

[MonaLisa]

LOL@ DSD....chick is not playing...she trying to stock up for the year! I'm touching up myself with the 'hair killer' in April....

LOL @ Natalie - and this is how it begins...when they turn on you for your beliefs!!!! There will be some hair left on the floor and some tears when this is all over...lol.

@ UmSumayyah - I'm sighing relief at that statement...but...it's not too late!!! You can change your mind and post the Phytorelaxers in the exchange/sale board - some Phyto crackhead would surely snap them up!

 

[ClassicChic]

You're too late Mona. I've already got 2 boxes and am just waiting for 4 more weeks can pass so I can try this relaxer.

Oh, my!!! I just got a box this weekend. I am praying this will be a good experience for me.

 

[MonaLisa]

Oh, my!!! I just got a box this weekend. I am praying this will be a good experience for me.

Hi Cherokee....Please scroll back up and see apology given in advance.

and....ummm...what is up with the ticker in your siggy....??? Don't you mean lost...not gained...right? lol.

 

[ClassicChic]

Mona, girl you are a nut. I think the Phyto has taken over your brain cells. LOL. My ticker is right. I am trying to gain a little more so I can have that thickness, ya know! LOL.

 

[KAddy]

 

[MonaLisa]

Thank you Godfather...I mean KAddy. *Mo kisses pinky ring*

I must be let loose....to stop the Phyto madness that has ensued. The Phyto Train must be stopped...no one...must be allowed...to board the train...

Whoo, whoo the train goes....no more I say. Whoo, whoo...no more.

 

[Carlie]

eliminate you and your cause of a PhytoRelaxer world. Please forgive me for forsaking you....I love and admire what you have tried to do.

But, alas....my little sensitive heart cannot take anymore disheartening commentary regarding our beloved PhytoRelaxer. I must disencourage all use or thought of trying this product.

I cannot...push or support this product anymore...as it may spur someone to purchase it...and they will come back with tales that my heart cannot bear to absorb. I cannot take the silent tears that fall at my computer...

It hurts too much. Like, tiny stab wounds to my Phytoloving heart...that bleeds Milky Reconstructor.

Yes, yes dear heart....I wish, you wish, that everyone could experience our joy...that's why we wanted to spread the glorious word....of...PhytoRelaxer...

but...everyone is not....experiencing the joy....

so everytime I catch someone pushing the Phyto--giving glorious reviews...I'm gonna track down and post everything I can find to give them a reason not to try it...to spare them the pain of the unknown...of this hair terror...the Phyto.

Someone, must take the stand to have them stick with Affirm, Deep Brilliance, Just for Me, Revlon, etc. -- to not jump...off of that hair cliff...someone...must pull them back...

Forgive me KAddy, forgive my beloved Phyto family...for I may commit...a heinous sin against the family.

It must be done. It must.

*Mo tosses her black cape over her shoulder and dons a white half mask over her face...*

*Exit...stage left*

Wow! I didn't know it was that serious, Mo.

 

[MonaLisa]

Wow! I didn't know it was that serious, Mo.

Oh...it's very serious sweet long haired Carlie. Verrrrrrry serious....
don't you even think about boarding this train sweet thing...I will not let
your ticket get punched....

 

[Cowgirl]

Mo, you too much girl. ROFLMBO. But I needed the laugh.

 

[Carlie]

Don't worry Mo', I'm already being spoiled and pampered by Affirm! I'd need a really good reason to switch. Affirm would have to hurt me real bad.

 

[MonaLisa]

Don't worry Mo', I'm already being spoiled and pampered by Affirm! I'd need a really good reason to switch. Affirm would have to hurt me real bad.

I'm maaaaaaaaaaaad at the cheerleaders in Pyramid formation!!!!! LOL!!!
That's right! You stick with that Affirm and don't u think about switching...

*Mo sucks it up....cause it is painful to have to utter.....*

Affirm is the best relaxer that one could use. Phyto...*spits on ground*...don't even consider that. There is a warrant out on it..."wanted for attempted hair killing...."

 

[Carlie]

Awww...you know you dont' mean that! If Phyto is doing your hair good, then that's all that matters. You should be cheesin'....like this:

 

[toinette]

Forgive me KAddy, forgive my beloved Phyto family...for I may commit...a heinous sin against the family.

*Exit...stage left*

*in my best godfather voice*: never take sides against the family or you's might end up taking a lil swim wit da fishies

 

[MonaLisa]

BUMPING....my mission will be heard by the masses....

 

[Bee6]

BUMPING....my mission will be heard by the masses....

Hearing loud and clear...read the apology and I'm still gonna take the plunge after my braid challenge

 

[MonaLisa]

Hearing loud and clear...read the apology and I'm still gonna take the plunge after my braid challenge

Okay Bee....thank you for reading the apology/disclaimer before you take the plunge - cause my lil non phyto pushing heart can't take one more stab...

 

[dreemssold]

It's time for someone to be committed to the Phytoasylum !

You know I'm just joshin, Mo...speak the truth, LOL!

 

[MonaLisa]

It's time for someone to be committed to the Phytoasylum !

You know I'm just joshin, Mo...speak the truth, LOL!

***The camera pans across a scenic, grassy knoll. The shot focuses on a brick building covered in ivy. The shot tightens on a sign, almost obscured by the ivy that reads "Phytoasylum."

There is a long, pan shot down a hallway that leads to a room, there is a tiny glass plane window in the door. Our viewpoint is from the glass plane window.
As we peer into the room, we see MonaLisa clutching a box of PhytoRelaxer Index #2, rocking to and fro in her rocking chair....someone slips a note under the door. MonaLisa stops rocking long enough to go retrieve it.

The note reads: "Mo...we gonna try and get you out of there, okay? Just hold on. Love, Dreems."

Mo drops the note on the floor and runs to the window...and peers out...into the distance....***

 

[sengschick]

I'm behind you 100% Mona!!!!

Phyto is the DEVIL!
Phyto is the DEVIL!
Phyto is the DEVIL!
It'll make your hair dry and brittle (and you know your hair doesn't like No-Lye anyway) and worst of all it'll never grow!!!!









Sengschick sits back quietly hoping the masses cancel their orders so once again Phyto can be hers and hers ALONE! (*insert Dr. Evil laugh here)

 

[MonaLisa]

I'm behind you 100% Mona!!!!

Phyto is the DEVIL!
Phyto is the DEVIL!
Phyto is the DEVIL!
It'll make your hair dry and brittle (and you know your hair doesn't like No-Lye anyway) and worst of all it'll never grow!!!!

Sengschick sits back quietly hoping the masses cancel their orders so once again Phyto can be hers and hers ALONE once again! (*insert Dr. Evil laugh here)

Mona is LHBO!!!