I'm convinced that I'll never be married...

[asubeauty]

I know exactly how you feel and, as someone who has been there, I'm asking you not to worry. I celebrated my second wedding anniversary yesterday and got married the year I turned 28. My husband and I started dating the year I turned 26. Up until then, I hadn't dated anyone longer than 2 1/2 months.

Why the timeline? As you can probably tell from the above, when I was 23, not only did I not have any marriage prospects, I had NEVER (not even with a high school sweetheart) had a long-term relationship. I felt like everyone around me was married, getting married, or had at least known true love, but I was destined to be alone forever. Little did I know that I was about 2 1/2 years away from meeting the man I would ultimately marry and spend my life with.

As much of a cliche as it is, you really don't know what is "around the corner". There is a whole world outside of your medical school so you shouldn't feel like the dating climate there will drive whether you find anyone at all. Besides, there's a chance that your next relationship could be with someone you already know. I met my husband when I was 23, but (long story short) I didn't care for him all that much at the time. He re-entered my life a couple years later and the rest is history.

While I understand your fears, you aren't destined to live the life that your mother and grandmother led. You should, however, learn from your mother's mistakes and not sabotage yourself. Have standards and boundaries and be cautious, but if a relationship is going well, don't almost insist that something is bad will happen eventually.

Thanks so much, MD_Lady!! **I'm trying to be like you when I grow up... ** It's really encouraging to hear that.

It's funny that this thread came up... I actually have a date for this weekend! Not saying that we are going to get married and live happily ever after, but it is nice to feel like someone sees something attractive in you.

 

[Nola Darling]

Hope your date goes well!

Thanks so much, MD_Lady!! **I'm trying to be like you when I grow up... ** It's really encouraging to hear that.

It's funny that this thread came up... I actually have a date for this weekend! Not saying that we are going to get married and live happily ever after, but it is nice to feel like someone sees something attractive in you.

 

[sunshinelady]

Hell, you'se about to be a doctor. I'll marry your ***, keep you happy, and give you a bunch of babies.

 

[*Luscious*Locked*Doc]

Hey don't worry I think there are many women on this board that understand what you are going through - myself included. I am in medical school and I spend all my time in the library or the hospital. I'm busy 24/7 and so focused on my career that sometimes when I get a break and look up I'm like man that's all I have. I think it's hard to date when you are in professional school because you are so consumed and from my vantage very few of the relationships people started out in have lasted since we got here, but I do go to a very competitive medical school and people are kind of ridiculous here erplexed which can be hard on relationships especially with people who aren't involved in medicine.

I'm 25 that's three years older than you and I feel the same as you do so often - that I will end up alone. Some men hear the words medical school and they lose interest immediately others perk up and get interested because they want someone to take care of them. I try to keep myself up and look good not for men but for my own self-esteem. I just wanted to let you know you aren't as alone as you think. It's hard for many successful black women, but i have met so many older black female physicians that are happily married and doing well so there's some hope in that. Good luck on your date I'm sure everything will be fine, but don't forget to pluck them brows girl I also wanted to add that when you least expect it that's when you'll meet someone and connect at least that's always been the case for me. And when I'm looking all I see is a wasteland filled with garbage...lol. Again good luck girl and keep your spirits up!

 

[ClassicBeauty]

My friend said that every guy she talks to says he wants to get with a doctor... but she said that most of them are lazy and trifling too...



Where are you from, DivaStyle?

I'm from TX, but I live in Jackson.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Do not even worry about marriage at age 23. My worries never came but I do have friends who are my age and older and they are still single and very much concerned that they may never have children, yet alone husbands.

I did not start dating my husband until I was 29. My last long term relationship ended about 7 years prior to meeting my now husband. The funny part is he had been watching me (met him at work) for 3.5 years before he asked me out. And it's a good thing too since I was completely focused on being a good lawyer back then and not thinking about a man or having a family - ever.

I agree with the above poster who said to have standards and boundaries and be cautious, but don't sabotage it by thinking something bad will happen. And also, based on past experiences, do not discount any man who gets up the courage to ask out a doctor. Not all men who approach you are looking for a sugar mamma. I have a single friend who is pushing 40 (partner at a law firm) and she passed on a ton of great guys because they could not afford to buy her the 2 carat engagement ring that she feels will make or break her marriage?

 

[memee1978]

dont give up.neither will i.im finally engaged and im almost 30 now.

 

[MD_Lady]

Thanks so much, MD_Lady!! **I'm trying to be like you when I grow up... ** It's really encouraging to hear that.

It's funny that this thread came up... I actually have a date for this weekend! Not saying that we are going to get married and live happily ever after, but it is nice to feel like someone sees something attractive in you.

I'm glad I could help. I hope you enjoy your date!

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Hell, you'se about to be a doctor. I'll marry your ***, keep you happy, and give you a bunch of babies.