I saw my ex hugged up with his new boo

[TCatt86]

I don't know why I'm writing this I guess just to vent. My ex and I recently broke up. Like two weeks ago. Well Sunday he spent the night at my house because he was too drunk to drive home, no we did not have sex. He hasn't touched me since we broke up. Something in my spirit told me to look through his text, which I thought I would never do. I found out he started having sex with someone else. I mean I know we aren't together, but that hurt me to the core just because it was so fast. Anyway, when I get off work I go home and change then head out to get a daiquiri and something in my heart told me to not go home but go on the riverfront. Earlier that day he told me that she wanted to talk, so low and behold I see him and her laying on a damn blanket all comfy cozy. I bugged out, I didn't know what to do, I had gone out there to clear my head and work through him moving on so fast and here he is with the chick. Well me being me, I go over there to be "friendly" and say hey. When he saw me coming he got up quick and stopped me before I got to where they were sitting. We got in a little fuss nothing major and I told him to come get the rest of his ish. Now he's telling me I caused drama and the chick wants to fight me.

My question is was I wrong for walking over there? And what would you ladies have done in the situation? I know we were broken up, but I just couldn't let him disrespect me like that by laying on some chick in my face after we broke up only two weeks ago and after he was at my house talking about how he loved me and how I was so good to him., and yes he knew I was there and didn't change his positioning. And this negro had the nerve to send me a text talking about Good Morning Boo. Umm no TCatt don't get down like that no more.

Honestly i don't care, because he ruined my day and I got to ruin his little date.

 

[Keen]

I'm sorry this happened to you but you guys broke up. Men tend to get over relationships quicker than women. It seem as if you were still holding on to hopes that you and him were not over. I don't know how you approached him but if you couldn't be acceptive of his new relationship, maybe that wasn't such a good idea to try to speak. He did see you but he didn't know you were going to be there and like I said you guys broke up so he's free.

 

[sunnydaze]

TCatt,

I know your feelings are still very very raw from your breakup..but since you two are BROKEN UP..what he does and with who is no longer your concern. I do not think he was disrespecting you by having a date with another girl..especially since you two are BROKEN UP.

The best thing you can do is not worry about what he is doing, definitely not do any sort of confronting regarding his date and move on.

Men will have sex in a heartbeat..maybe he was talking to this giril while you guys were together, maybe not...but it really is no longer your concern.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

Why doesn't she want to fight him?

 

[Poli]

I don't think I would have approached them, if he saw me I would have waved, smiled and kept it moving.

 

[TCatt86]

I'm sorry this happened to you but you guys broke up. Men tend to get over relationships quicker than women. It seem as if you were still holding on to hopes that you and him were not over. I don't know how you approached him but if you couldn't be acceptive of his new relationship, maybe that wasn't such a good idea to try to speak. He did see you but he didn't know you were going to be there and like I said you guys broke up so he's free.

I know he's isn't doing anything wrong, so I'm not mad anymore, but damn that sucker moved on fast because yes I was holding on to hopes that we weren't over. I just wish he would have told me something, because when I asked him about it he told me they were just cool and they hadn't had sex. But the hopes are gone, it's not so much that he's having sex, is that he lied to me because he wants to keep me in the pocket just in case they don't work out. And that ain't happening.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

And he was probably dealing with her before you guys broke up!

 

[TCatt86]

Why doesn't she want to fight him?

I guess because I broke up their date. My bad

 

[TCatt86]

And he was probably dealing with her before you guys broke up!

I'm thinking that too!! I can't quite put the timeline together, but I have a feeling he cheated on me with her. Oh well his loss. You ladies are so honest and helpful.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

I guess because I broke up their date. My bad

LOL. What I'm saying is she needs to blame him for the confusion caused.

 

[locabouthair]

I know he's isn't doing anything wrong, so I'm not mad anymore, but damn that sucker moved on fast because yes I was holding on to hopes that we weren't over. I just wish he would have told me something, because when I asked him about it he told me they were just cool and they hadn't had sex. But the hopes are gone, it's not so much that he's having sex, is that he lied to me because he wants to keep me in the pocket just in case they don't work out. And that ain't happening.

your ex sounds trifling. I say good riddance (sp?)

yes you two are no longer together but you broke up TWO WEEKS AGO, of course it's still gonna hurt to see them together, because more than likely he was dealing with her before ya'll ended things.

I would ignore all his texts and calls.

And she wants to fight you? Are ya'll in high school or something? Please. She needs to get a grip. She needs to fight her new man cuz he obviously aint no good.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

I'm thinking that too!! I can't quite put the timeline together, but I have a feeling he cheated on me with her. Oh well his loss. You ladies are so honest and helpful.

EXACTLY! It's okay to be hurt and angry, just so long as you know it's his loss.

 

[Keen]

I'm thinking that too!! I can't quite put the timeline together, but I have a feeling he cheated on me with her. Oh well his loss. You ladies are so honest and helpful.

That maybe why she wants to fight you.

 

[Connie]

I'm the type that when a guy breaks up with me and insists he means it, I cease ALL contact with him. Meaning he doesn't get to spend the night at my house because he's too drunk to drive. I'll put him up in a cab and send him on his way. Meaning I don't return his calls; I erase any messages he leaves on my machine or voicemail without listening to them and I'm not home if he decides to stop by and 'chat'. And if he sees me out in the street I MIGHT say hello and keep on walking, or I'll not speak at all.

If I see him cuddled up next to a new chick, I keep it moving. If he sees me, I don't make eye contact or acknowledge him. I don't go over and start being 'friendly' because I really don't want or need to get to know his new chick better and it just adds salt to the wound, kwim? More importantly, I want to get the message that I'm as done with him as he says he is with me and it doesn't matter who he f**ks, even if I idea of him being with someone else still hurts.

When I see any of his friends and they ask about us, I dismiss the subject and talk about something else, and/or I don't ask about him at all.

And if by chance dude didn't mean it when he said he wanted to break up? We can talk about it....whenever I decide to take some time out of moving with my life to even care.

I don't play.

 

[spelmanlocks]

I know that had to be hard. I remember back in college all of my friends got together to go bowling one time and my ex-showed up with his new girlfriend to bowl with us because we were all mutual friends. It was sooo awkward and we avoided speaking or looking at each other all night. Maybe he talks about you around her and she wants to fight you because she feels threatened. I know that was the case with my ex. But, consider it a blessing, right after I broke up with him I found the man who is now my fiance and a far better man than my ex.

ETA: I agree with Connie. We tried the friends thing and it was a mess. Breaking off contact helped me to move on much quicker.

 

[TCatt86]

That maybe why she wants to fight you.

But what does that have to do with me? She knew I was his girl.

 

[TCatt86]

I'm the type that when a guy breaks up with me and insists he means it, I cease ALL contact with him. Meaning he doesn't get to spend the night at my house because he's too drunk to drive. I'll put him up in a cab and send him on his way. Meaning I don't return his calls; I erase any messages he leaves on my machine or voicemail without listening to them and I'm not home if he decides to stop by and 'chat'. And if he sees me out in the street I MIGHT say hello and keep on walking, or I'll not speak at all.

If I see him cuddled up next to a new chick, I keep it moving. If he sees me, I don't make eye contact or acknowledge him. I don't go over and start being 'friendly' because I really don't want or need to get to know his new chick better and it just adds salt to the wound, kwim? More importantly, I want to get the message that I'm as done with him as he says he is with me and it doesn't matter who he f**ks, even if I idea of him being with someone else still hurts.

When I see any of his friends and they ask about us, I dismiss the subject and talk about something else, and/or I don't ask about him at all.

And if by chance dude didn't mean it when he said he wanted to break up? We can talk about it....whenever I decide to take some time out of moving with my life to even care.
I don't play.

Your advice is the most logical thing. I can't be friends with him and see him all cuddled up with some chick. I love the bolded part. I have just ceased contact, he left some of his stuff, I think on purpose, but I may put in a box and leave it on my porch or something.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

It's time to move on...

You can't keep worrying about who he's with or what he's doing. All you can control is your own happiness and getting a man who is going to be good to you.

I know it can hurt though. Two weeks after my last heartbreak my ex was with another girl, AND he posted photos of them all over FACEBOOK. So of course I saw them. I was LIVID. But now that I'm over him, I realize how bad he was for me. The new girl had to deal with his mess, I was free to find a REAL MAN who would be good to me!

 

[Keen]

But what does that have to do with me? She knew I was his girl.

She may feel threaten by you. If she was the other woman and he just broke up with you, she may fear that he'll go back to you if you want him back. Maybe she knows, he's still trying to play nice with you.

 

[NOLA2NY]

I don't know why I'm writing this I guess just to vent. My ex and I recently broke up. Like two weeks ago. Well Sunday he spent the night at my house because he was too drunk to drive home, no we did not have sex. He hasn't touched me since we broke up. Something in my spirit told me to look through his text, which I thought I would never do. I found out he started having sex with someone else. I mean I know we aren't together, but that hurt me to the core just because it was so fast. Anyway, when I get off work I go home and change then head out to get a daiquiri and something in my heart told me to not go home but go on the riverfront. Earlier that day he told me that she wanted to talk, so low and behold I see him and her laying on a damn blanket all comfy cozy. I bugged out, I didn't know what to do, I had gone out there to clear my head and work through him moving on so fast and here he is with the chick. Well me being me, I go over there to be "friendly" and say hey. When he saw me coming he got up quick and stopped me before I got to where they were sitting. We got in a little fuss nothing major and I told him to come get the rest of his ish. Now he's telling me I caused drama and the chick wants to fight me.

My question is was I wrong for walking over there? And what would you ladies have done in the situation? I know we were broken up, but I just couldn't let him disrespect me like that by laying on some chick in my face after we broke up only two weeks ago and after he was at my house talking about how he loved me and how I was so good to him., and yes he knew I was there and didn't change his positioning. And this negro had the nerve to send me a text talking about Good Morning Boo. Umm no TCatt don't get down like that no more.

Honestly i don't care, because he ruined my day and I got to ruin his little date.

Hi TCatt,
Break ups are hard especially the breaking up process because it's just that a process. Yes you shouldn't be concerned because you guys weren't together but you are also human.... Some times we need that little puch to truly let go and maybe (hopefully) this was it for you....

On another note..Girl I see you are one of Nola's finest ....you bought back fond memories talking about daiquairis and the riverfront...good thing it wasn't a Sunday...(well a pre-katrina sunday) then the whole city might have been out there. Did you have a crawfish withcha?

 

[TCatt86]

Hi TCatt,
Break ups are hard especially the breaking up process because it's just that a process. Yes you shouldn't be concerned because you guys weren't together but you are also human.... Some times we need that little puch to truly let go and maybe (hopefully) this was it for you....

On another note..Girl I see you are one of Nola's finest ....you bought back fond memories talking about daiquairis and the riverfront...good thing it wasn't a Sunday...(well a pre-katrina sunday) then the whole city might have been out there. Did you have a crawfish withcha?

No I didn't have the crawfish!! LOL!! And the riverfront is back, since the lake is closed or whatever everybody goes on the riverfront on Sundays. Thanks for the encouraging words. I guess I was bound to see them out one day, the city is only so big and we all go to the same places, I'll be darned I let somebody mess up my going out.

 

[poetist]

LOL. What I'm saying is she needs to blame him for the confusion caused.

But what confusion did he cause? It's not like the OP is under the impression that they are still together. It's not like he invited the OP to the riverfront knowing that he'd be there with his new chick. I don't see how he's wrong. Triffling maybe, but not wrong.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

But what confusion did he cause? It's not like the OP is under the impression that they are still together. It's not like he invited the OP to the riverfront knowing that he'd be there with his new chick. I don't see how he's wrong. Triffling maybe, but not wrong.

This confusion:

I know we were broken up, but I just couldn't let him disrespect me like that by laying on some chick in my face after we broke up only two weeks ago and after he was at my house talking about how he loved me and how I was so good to him., and yes he knew I was there and didn't change his positioning. And this negro had the nerve to send me a text talking about Good Morning Boo. Umm no TCatt don't get down like that no more.

Yes, they are not together, but all the boo-loving that he was trying to do led her to believe that they may get back together. I'm sure if they were clearly and completely over with no hopes of getting back together, TCatt wouldn't have been this pissed and probaby wouldn't have gone over there.

TCatt?

 

[Spongie Bloom]

well break ups are a toughie... and yes men tend to move on and neck breaking speed doesnt mean he has gotten over you it just means hes moved on thats just what men do so dont take it to heart better yet dont even think about it...delete his number and move on.

 

[TCatt86]

This confusion:



Yes, they are not together, but all the boo-loving that he was trying to do led her to believe that they may get back together. I'm sure if they were clearly and completely over with no hopes of getting back together, TCatt wouldn't have been this pissed and probaby wouldn't have gone over there.

TCatt?

You're right I would have sent a text and kept it moving. But even now after all this ish he is trying to play this game, sending me text like I love you, she's threatened by you blah, blah, blah. And they all are getting ignored. I really feel we would have gotten back together and he would have kept messing with her, I'm just happy I found out before it happened.

ETA: That before I found out about her I know we would have gotten back together, but once I found out about her, that was the end of that. If I hadn't read the text he would have gone on like business as usual love up on me, and sex her once a week.

 

[poetist]

This confusion:



Yes, they are not together, but all the boo-loving that he was trying to do led her to believe that they may get back together. I'm sure if they were clearly and completely over with no hopes of getting back together, TCatt wouldn't have been this pissed and probaby wouldn't have gone over there.

TCatt?

Before she saw him with the girl and before he sent her a text talking about "good morning boo," she knew he was sexing this chick, per the text msg she read. As women, we end up allowing ourselves to get even more hurt, when we know the truth, but still try to hold on to false hopes.

 

[poetist]

You're right I would have sent a text and kept it moving. But even now after all this ish he is trying to play this game, sending me text like I love you, she's threatened by you blah, blah, blah. And they all are getting ignored. I really feel we would have gotten back together and he would have kept messing with her, I'm just happy I found out before it happened.

The game he is trying to play is no different than what many men do when trying to have their cake and eat it too. Im just not sure why you held on to hopes that things would work out when you knew he was sleeping with this chick and lying to you about it.

Nonetheless, glad you peeped game and are moving on. Good luck to you.

 

[poookie]

I'm the type that when a guy breaks up with me and insists he means it, I cease ALL contact with him. Meaning he doesn't get to spend the night at my house because he's too drunk to drive. I'll put him up in a cab and send him on his way. Meaning I don't return his calls; I erase any messages he leaves on my machine or voicemail without listening to them and I'm not home if he decides to stop by and 'chat'. And if he sees me out in the street I MIGHT say hello and keep on walking, or I'll not speak at all.

If I see him cuddled up next to a new chick, I keep it moving. If he sees me, I don't make eye contact or acknowledge him. I don't go over and start being 'friendly' because I really don't want or need to get to know his new chick better and it just adds salt to the wound, kwim? More importantly, I want to get the message that I'm as done with him as he says he is with me and it doesn't matter who he f**ks, even if I idea of him being with someone else still hurts.

When I see any of his friends and they ask about us, I dismiss the subject and talk about something else, and/or I don't ask about him at all.

And if by chance dude didn't mean it when he said he wanted to break up? We can talk about it....whenever I decide to take some time out of moving with my life to even care.

I don't play.

i wish i was more like you

 

[filthyfresh]

I'm the type that when a guy breaks up with me and insists he means it, I cease ALL contact with him. Meaning he doesn't get to spend the night at my house because he's too drunk to drive. I'll put him up in a cab and send him on his way. Meaning I don't return his calls; I erase any messages he leaves on my machine or voicemail without listening to them and I'm not home if he decides to stop by and 'chat'. And if he sees me out in the street I MIGHT say hello and keep on walking, or I'll not speak at all.

If I see him cuddled up next to a new chick, I keep it moving. If he sees me, I don't make eye contact or acknowledge him. I don't go over and start being 'friendly' because I really don't want or need to get to know his new chick better and it just adds salt to the wound, kwim? More importantly, I want to get the message that I'm as done with him as he says he is with me and it doesn't matter who he f**ks, even if I idea of him being with someone else still hurts.

When I see any of his friends and they ask about us, I dismiss the subject and talk about something else, and/or I don't ask about him at all.

And if by chance dude didn't mean it when he said he wanted to break up? We can talk about it....whenever I decide to take some time out of moving with my life to even care.

I don't play.

YES! We are just alike. Everyone thinks I'm so weird for cutting ties like that. But you have to. You can't leave any room for confusion or doubt that you two are actually through. Men don't get the point sometimes. And you just have to show them that you mean business.

 

[Connie]

YES! We are just alike. Everyone thinks I'm so weird for cutting ties like that. But you have to. You can't leave any room for confusion or doubt that you two are actually through. Men don't get the point sometimes. And you just have to show them that you mean business.

I was beginning to think I was the last of a dying breed..LOL!