Thank you for for responding. I think I'm not worried about distance, I think I'm worried about losing him. But you're right. Distance will probably help and I will learn a few things from it.
A) Its a POSSIBLE job offer. I think you may be reacting to quickly.
B) Is his move permanent or temporary? Have you guys talked about how this will impact your relationship or what changes you will need to make in your relationship to make it work despite the distance?
C) Based on what you've said, I think what's going to make or break your relationship given the distance (assuming he gets and accepts the job) is how YOU communicate your feelings as the person 'at home'.
I'm in a LDR and have been for about 2 years - I moved about 2 months after meeting him to go to grad school. Additionally, I traveled for 4.5 years for work while working mostly with men and saw the patterns in the relationships that strengthened with the traveling husbands, and those that sputtered and fell apart. And the key is communication.
The bolded in your response struck me. I think you really need to give some thought as to why you're worried about losing him and where that is coming from. Is it based on his actions/comments and intuition about who he is or is it based on your own feelings about yourself?!
I believe LDRs are always hardest for the person at home. He's going to be a in a new city, experiencing new things with new people. His life is expanding, in a way, and you need to be careful about viewing your life as "losing" or changing for the negative. Does that make sense?
And I say this all because I've been on the other side of the coin in a past relationship. Communication becomes tantamount and how you communicate will often become more noticeable than what you communicate. Over time, the shift in our conversations from "how are things, what'd you do today" to "I miss you, I want to see you, when do I get to see you" to "do you miss me, do you love me" to "how come you didn't text me, how come you didn't call me when you said you would". And once you make the third transition, he is now in a pattern of avoidance rather than excitement when it comes to communicating with you. I've seen MANY a LDR fall apart because the person away got tired of carrying the emotional weight of the feelings of sadness and "missing" from the person at home.
The point: Don't react so soon. Its early, and its a job opportunity which can lead to beautiful things for the both of you in the future. And be cognizant of how you communicate your feelings - be his support system and he will continue to be yours, despite the distance, not an emotional weight.
