I Need Help Y'all

hopeful said:
He's smothering you. That is not cute and IS another form of abuse. Men like that are CONTROLLING. He will want you all to himself, no friends, no extracurricular activities. Just another kind of crazy in a different suit. Keep it moving sweetie. The kind of guy when you leave will threaten to kill himself, then a month later be all boo'd up and in love again :look:.
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Great insight! @hopeful . I kinda sensed that about him. I'm like what's the rush? I just bought a bicycle and when I told him, he's talking about buying one too and getting a bike rack for his truck so we can ride together....QUE?! N*gga it's been a week WTH! I'm pretty sure he's lowkey mad with me.

He texted me today talking about some "If you call or text me later, it's highly likely I won't be available. And probably this weekend as well. It's clear that I'm putting my life on hold for you and I won't do that anymore. I'm tired of trying to find a tiny bit of your time"

I replied " I never expected you to put things on hold for me dear. We've known each other barely a week and a half. it's okay to slow things down and gradually get to know each other. Go have fun boo :)". I don't think he expected my reaction, cuz he's called 4 times now :look:
 
At the risk of been shot down, I will tell you what I really think. You know how some people think black men treat white women better and that they would do way more for white women than they would do for black women because they view the white woman as a prize? Well, I think the same of some Haitian men. They will cuddle/smother non-Haitian women to death.
 
Keen said:
At the risk of been shot down, I will tell you what I really think. You know how some people think black men treat white women better and that they would do way more for white women than they would do for black women because they view the white woman as a prize? Well, I think the same of some Haitian men. They will cuddle/smother non-Haitian women to death.
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Hmmm, that's interesting @Keen . Why do you suspect that is? Have you seen this happen in action?

lux10023 said:
Op I lmao

When you said ****** annoying!!! Lolol

I have some thoughts about the rest but

I do like that you are well aware of your quirks
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@lux10023 I'm curious to hear your thoughts ..spill lol :look:
 
kblc06 said:
Great insight! @hopeful . I kinda sensed that about him. I'm like what's the rush? I just bought a bicycle and when I told him, he's talking about buying one too and getting a bike rack for his truck so we can ride together....QUE?! N*gga it's been a week WTH! I'm pretty sure he's lowkey mad with me.

He texted me today talking about some "If you call or text me later, it's highly likely I won't be available. And probably this weekend as well. It's clear that I'm putting my life on hold for you and I won't do that anymore. I'm tired of trying to find a tiny bit of your time"

I replied " I never expected you to put things on hold for me dear. We've known each other barely a week and a half. it's okay to slow things down and gradually get to know each other. Go have fun boo :)". I don't think he expected my reaction, cuz he's called 4 times now :look:
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You should've responded with just "ok" :look:
He was being attention seeking and wanted a reaction.
 
kblc06 said:
Great insight! @hopeful . I kinda sensed that about him. I'm like what's the rush? I just bought a bicycle and when I told him, he's talking about buying one too and getting a bike rack for his truck so we can ride together....QUE?! N*gga it's been a week WTH! I'm pretty sure he's lowkey mad with me.

He texted me today talking about some "If you call or text me later, it's highly likely I won't be available. And probably this weekend as well. It's clear that I'm putting my life on hold for you and I won't do that anymore. I'm tired of trying to find a tiny bit of your time"

I replied " I never expected you to put things on hold for me dear. We've known each other barely a week and a half. it's okay to slow things down and gradually get to know each other. Go have fun boo :)". I don't think he expected my reaction, cuz he's called 4 times now :look:
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Been there, done that. I agree with @hopeful on this one, his behavior isn't normal given the timeframe. He needs a woman to fill a void; He'll eventually start mistreating you once he reconciles his issues and will start smelling himself. Then you'll be sitting there wondering what happened to the wonderful man you met and be lowkey heartbroken. Gone head and free yourself now.

However, you should start to figure out why you like emotionally distant men though. Do you think you have abandonment issues?
 
Keen said:
At the risk of been shot down, I will tell you what I really think. You know how some people think black men treat white women better and that they would do way more for white women than they would do for black women because they view the white woman as a prize? Well, I think the same of some Haitian men. They will cuddle/smother non-Haitian women to death.
Click to expand...


In my experience, the ones from Haiti are the aggressive ones, even with Haitian women. I had to fight so many off or straight up ignore them to get the point. They are touchy too soon, overbearing, and claim you before you have even decided if you want to further the relationship.

However, dont be fooled! This is a tactic in their controlling ways as @hopeful mentioned. Once they break your guard down and you fall for them, then they pursue the next gal the same way. So you r stuck with them and considered the main chick while they have others on the side, and it's acceptable in that culture because the boys are considered porcelain dolls...
 
sweetvi said:
In my experience, the ones from Haiti are the aggressive ones, even with Haitian women. I had to fight so many off or straight up ignore them to get the point. They are touchy too soon, overbearing, and claim you before you have even decided if you want to further the relationship.

However, dont be fooled! This is a tactic in their controlling ways as @hopeful mentioned. Once they break your guard down and you fall for them, then they pursue the next gal the same way. So you r stuck with them and considered the main chick while they have others on the side, and it's acceptable in that culture because the boys are considered porcelain dolls...
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I didn't even think about the scenario you mentioned. The book I read described this guy as faithful but suffocating. The men you describe are what she she explained to be a "combo pack," men who have multiple abuse patterns. Wow, just wow! Women need to be educated and aware. We gotta stay woke and keep waking up others.
 
kblc06 said:
Great insight! @hopeful . I kinda sensed that about him. I'm like what's the rush? I just bought a bicycle and when I told him, he's talking about buying one too and getting a bike rack for his truck so we can ride together....QUE?! N*gga it's been a week WTH! I'm pretty sure he's lowkey mad with me.

He texted me today talking about some "If you call or text me later, it's highly likely I won't be available. And probably this weekend as well. It's clear that I'm putting my life on hold for you and I won't do that anymore. I'm tired of trying to find a tiny bit of your time"

I replied " I never expected you to put things on hold for me dear. We've known each other barely a week and a half. it's okay to slow things down and gradually get to know each other. Go have fun boo :)". I don't think he expected my reaction, cuz he's called 4 times now :look:
Click to expand...

Okay, so he tried the emotional manipulation route, you didn't fall for it and he immediately, like instantaneously, obeyed his thirst? How sad and pitiful. Dude has zero follow through.

x0iki.gif
 
LoveLiLi said:
Okay, so he tried the emotional manipulation route, you didn't fall for it and he immediately, like instantaneously, obeyed his thirst? How sad and pitiful. Dude has zero follow through.

x0iki.gif
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What did he do? What do you mean by "obeyed his thirst"?
 
I've been in this situation more times than I can count. You can't make yourself want him. When you find yourself being mean it's time to pull away.

And I gotta add, this guy may sound good on paper and you may be somewhat flattered at all he is doing , but things aren't perfect with him. He is controlling and manipulating the situation so that he can have you. He has played this same exact role with other women. He may suffer with some self-esteem issues that turns to controlling the situations ... Especially if he is ignoring your coldness and still basically begging to be with you..... I've strung guys along with issues like this, and it NEVER turned out well..

Let this go (if you don't want him)


Eta: I saw something to the tune of 1.5 weeks of knowing each other ? Is this correct??? If so, I change my post to I'm positive he suffers from low self/esteem and is broken. Run.
 
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kblc06 said:
Update: Soooo he was to take me to a villa in Haiti for the New Years. :spinning: ......AAAAANNNNDD



DUN DUN DUUUUUUN

He used the L word :look:. I'm waiting to have my car repaired and he's letting me use his truck. I gotta cut it after this.
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are you living my life :lol:

I'm sure he's planning my birthday trip after I done told him not to.

I do not think he's dangerous. I think he's an ambitious caribbean man. He sees what he wants and he sees a wife and mother in you. Heck he probably sees his mother in you! And he's willing to do whatever he believes it takes to woo a woman to woo you. Is his family in Haiti? If so, he's taking you to show you off and receive their blessing. They already know about you and love you... trust :look:
 
God_Favor said:
I've been in this situation more times than I can count. You ca

n't make yourself want him. When you find yourself being mean it's time to pull away.

And I gotta add, this guy may sound good on paper and you may be somewhat flattered at all he is doing , but things aren't perfect with him. He is controlling and manipulating the situation so that he can have you. He has played this same exact role with other women. He may suffer with some self-esteem issues that turns to controlling the situations ... Especially if he is ignoring your coldness and still basically begging to be with you..... I've strung guys along with issues like this, and it NEVER turned out well..

Let this go (if you don't want him)


Eta: I saw something to the tune of 1.5 weeks of knowing each other ? Is this correct??? If so, I change my post to I'm positive he suffers from low self/esteem and is broken. Run.
Click to expand...


I think so too. And that's where the pretentiousness comes in. Like he always talks about who he knows and the type of work he does. Why are you trying to sell yourself, ya know?
LiftedUp said:
are you living my life :lol:

I'm sure he's planning my birthday trip after I done told him not to.

I do not think he's dangerous. I think he's an ambitious caribbean man. He sees what he wants and he sees a wife and mother in you. Heck he probably sees his mother in you! And he's willing to do whatever he believes it takes to woo a woman to woo you. Is his family in Haiti? If so, he's taking you to show you off and receive their blessing. They already know about you and love you... trust :look:
Click to expand...

GIIIIIIIIIIRLLL! Let me find out we dating the same people :rofl:. He put me on the phone with his best friend last night. He said "I've heard so much about you, I can't wait to meet you. I hope you're everything..........described". It's like he feel like he won a prized peacock :lol:. And yes, his mama and daddy are still in Haiti as are a couple of brothers and sisters. It literally feels like I'm being snowballed into a relationship
 
FemmeFatale said:
I know one thing, that grow to love him business is easier said than done. You HAVE to be honest with yourself. When I read the unattractive but good guy thread I said nope, no can do, I'm in my prime, there's no reason to settle for that.
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Care to point me in the direction of the thread you speak of? Please and thank you!
 
kblc06 said:
I think so too. And that's where the pretentiousness comes in. Like he always talks about who he knows and the type of work he does. Why are you trying to sell yourself, ya know?


GIIIIIIIIIIRLLL! Let me find out we dating the same people :rofl:. He put me on the phone with his best friend last night. He said "I've heard so much about you, I can't wait to meet you. I hope you're everything..........described". It's like he feel like he won a prized peacock :lol:. And yes, his mama and daddy are still in Haiti as are a couple of brothers and sisters. It literally feels like I'm being snowballed into a relationship
Click to expand...


Girrrrl. You are already married to him in his mind loll
 
kblc06 said:
Nope. Youngest and onlies can behave similarly and be rather self absorbed. I'm a Leo ascendant and Taurus moon (on a Taurus cusp at that). Maybe it's the Venus in Gemini...i can be very wishy washy when it comes to romantic interest in general. It takes A LOT to sustain my attention. Ironically, the only signs that have are scorpios, Capricorns, and some Leo's ( I guess due to the whole mysterious nature ****)
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What about a Sag only child up to 10 years old ?
 
hopeful said:
He's smothering you. That is not cute and IS another form of abuse. Men like that are CONTROLLING. He will want you all to himself, no friends, no extracurricular activities. Just another kind of crazy in a different suit. Keep it moving sweetie. The kind of guy when you leave will threaten to kill himself, then a month later be all boo'd up and in love again :look:.
Click to expand...

Sounds like my ex. I'm still suffering from relationship ptsd as a result.
 
kblc06 said:
Update: Soooo he was to take me to a villa in Haiti for the New Years. :spinning: ......AAAAANNNNDD



DUN DUN DUUUUUUN

He used the L word :look:. I'm waiting to have my car repaired and he's letting me use his truck. I gotta cut it after this.
Click to expand...

:lol: too many similarities..

stop being silly and run, yours is still early. dont be like me still planning escape routes and ish.
 
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