Some of these men are Cancer...Just Cancer

[hopeful]

I think it's important that we teach young women how to navigate relationships. Teach them the ins and outs, how to set standards, how to protect themselves, how to love and how to be loved. Women should not fear men's game. If your head is right, you've got support, high standards and high self esteem you will be ok in most cases. I don't think love she be avoided, it should be welcomed in our lives. We are reaching an epidemic (IMO) of lonely, educated, unloved women.

 

[Bunny77]

I think it's important that we teach young women how to navigate relationships. Teach them the ins and outs, how to set standards, how to protect themselves, how to love and how to be loved. Women should not fear men's game. If your head is right, you've got support, high standards and high self esteem you will be ok in most cases. I don't think love she be avoided, it should be welcomed in our lives. We are reaching an epidemic (IMO) of lonely, educated, unloved women.

Wow, that last sentence really spoke volumes.

I think that not talking about relationship navigation is what's gotten us in this problem in the first place. So we have extremes of girls seeking love in the wrong places and falling for game because they weren't taught (either by example of seeing a father loving their mother or learning from trusted women in their lives) or of simply not having relationships period because they're scared of being used and abused by men.

Neither is healthy or helpful at the end of the day.

 

[hopeful]

Wow, that last sentence really spoke volumes.

I think that not talking about relationship navigation is what's gotten us in this problem in the first place. So we have extremes of girls seeking love in the wrong places and falling for game because they weren't taught (either by example of seeing a father loving their mother or learning from trusted women in their lives) or of simply not having relationships period because they're scared of being used and abused by men.

Neither is healthy or helpful at the end of the day.

And Bunny I wrote that not directed at PrettyFace because she knows the young ladies she works with better than we do and it's none of my business what she is teaching "her" girls. But this is my thinking on the matter in general. A lot of girls are going to miss out on a lot of fun if they focus completely on school. A young woman's life can be very fulfilling if she is a good student and has healthy, satisfying relationships with men and women. With appropriate boundaries, standards, morals, etc. romantic relationships can be so sweet and satisfying.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

And Bunny I wrote that not directed at PrettyFace because she knows the young ladies she works with better than we do and it's none of my business what she is teaching "her" girls. But this is my thinking on the matter in general. A lot of girls are going to miss out on a lot of fun if they focus completely on school. A young woman's life can be very fulfilling if she is a good student and has healthy, satisfying relationships with men and women. With appropriate boundaries, standards, morals, etc. romantic relationships can be so sweet and satisfying.

Nothing but the truth!

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

(Sorry SK for jacking your thread! )

Lol No No Continue I'm learning here!

I think it's important that we teach young women how to navigate relationships. Teach them the ins and outs, how to set standards, how to protect themselves, how to love and how to be loved. Women should not fear men's game. If your head is right, you've got support, high standards and high self esteem you will be ok in most cases. I don't think love she be avoided, it should be welcomed in our lives. We are reaching an epidemic (IMO) of lonely, educated, unloved women.

You just spoke the TRUTH right here. i just wanted to scream...PREACH from the amen corner right there! I agree with this also. Young women such as myself would be better off if we stopped basing our relationships off of magazines, tv shows, and our "hearts" and relying on educated peopl people as you guys who know the ups and downs and how tos for a successful relationship. Man of the problem that young women face now adays could be avoided if we just had a successful relationship to base our own after or have a wise ear to talk to. Avoiding relationship to not be bit by "the game" is an unwise decision. All that will happen is that we will experience "the game" at a later age, and without previous experience we'll just make the mistakes we should have made years ago.

Wow, that last sentence really spoke volumes.

I think that not talking about relationship navigation is what's gotten us in this problem in the first place. So we have extremes of girls seeking love in the wrong places and falling for game because they weren't taught (either by example of seeing a father loving their mother or learning from trusted women in their lives) or of simply not having relationships period because they're scared of being used and abused by men.

Neither is healthy or helpful at the end of the day.

And Bunny I wrote that not directed at PrettyFace because she knows the young ladies she works with better than we do and it's none of my business what she is teaching "her" girls. But this is my thinking on the matter in general. A lot of girls are going to miss out on a lot of fun if they focus completely on school. A young woman's life can be very fulfilling if she is a good student and has healthy, satisfying relationships with men and women. With appropriate boundaries, standards, morals, etc. romantic relationships can be so sweet and satisfying.

I agree with this statement, but I wish there were more books or lectures (wrong word) to educate the young community on our decisions in the dating world. Like I said earlier, everything I learned I learned it on my own. Books, tv, and playing it by ear. Many of us make poor decisions that seem very wise to us, but are skewed in reality because we just don't know any better. But that being said, without relationships period, we wouldn't know or learn that those decisions are somewhat off or not the proper way of dealing with men.

 

[inthepink]

Interesting information here...I'll relate a bit of my own experience.

I was one of the ones who did not have a relationship in high school, college, or the first part of my adult life. (I finally began dating a guy for 4 months when I was 27 years old...yes, 27). And I do feel like I missed out on a whole LOT of learning. So, I would say young women should be educated about men, taught which kinds to avoid, but first and foremost develop self-esteem. Honestly, for me, the reason I did never date anyone till 27 is because I had low self-esteem. Luckily, I didn't just accept anything in pants to make me feel better about myself.

Speaking from experience, avoidance may not be such a good thing for EVERYONE. For some young girls, I would say that yes, avoidance may be the best thing. Reason behind that - temptation. If young women don't know how to cope with temptation or have not learned how to deal with it before it comes up, then it's probably best to avoid until they feel comfortable enough to handle the situations that may arise in a young relationship.

Heh...what do I know?

 

[CarLiTa]

Very interesting thread. Enjoyed reading it.

I searched for some articles, and these are good ones that came up:

How to be loved:

http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-be-Loved-2

Ways to be loved by others:

To communicate love, you have to show you understand, appreciate and take pleasure in the other person's essence. Stop and analyze the good they do, and stop focusing on their flaws. We often show more courtesy and attention to strangers!

Push yourself to show people that you appreciate them. Practice saying: "I like what you said." "I'm glad you came." "You did that perfectly."

The most effective way to be loved is to give to others. When you give physical, material, emotional, spiritual pleasure -- with no strings attached -- they will love you.

In practice, how does someone become a "giver"? The answer is simple: Start giving.

Some people say "I can only give to someone I love." This is incorrect. The Hebrew word for "give," hav, is the same root as ahava, meaning "love." The Jewish idea is that giving is what leads to love. When I give to you, I have invested a part of myself. You then become more precious to me and I love you.

Compassionate communication:
http://www.nwcompass.org/compassionate_communication.html

RESPONDING TO A "NO"

Responding to a refusal is a four-part process rooted in empathy:
1. Describe the situation
2. Guess the other person's feelings.
3. Guess the reason for that feeling, together with the unmet need;
then let the person verify whether you have correctly understood.
4. Clarify the unmet need.

How to be open to love:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Being-Open-to-Love&id=142676

I recently heard an interview with The View’s Star Jones. She told Larry King that she had had a big, long list about what she wanted in a guy but didn’t realize that she didn’t stack up to the list herself. She did not feel worthy of the list. She realized that if she wanted someone, kind, generous, fit and healthy – well she had to be someone who was kind, generous, fit and healthy. One day she took a hard look at the list and realized she had one of two choices – “Change the list or change myself.” She decided to work on herself.

So make a list of what you want in a healthy relationship. Check off the ones on the list that you are giving yourself now. You want someone who is compassionate? How compassionate are you with yourself? Looking for someone who is accepting of others? How accepting are you of others...or yourself? Start working on the ones on the list that you are not giving yourself. Change doesn’t happen overnight. There’s an ancient saying that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Now is a good time to start becoming the love you want!

I went all out. Hope some of these are helpful, though. They were a good read.