I just need.. help.

[FoxxyLocs]

If he were your husband my answer would be different, but you are not obligated to this man. Don't do this to yourself. Sticking around and working through mental illness is a WIFE's job, not a girlfriend. You could stick around and do all of that for him and still not even end up together. You don't owe him anything. You need to get out of this while you still can. Encourage him to get help, pray for him, and leave him ALONE!

 

[surecutie]

The best advice I can give to you is to leave while you still have your personal sanity. I know you love this man but this is one time you need to love yourself more. Support him as a friend if you feel so inclined but leave the FT support to a mental professional and his family. It's very selfish on his part to engage anyone in a relationship when he is not in the best place emotionally.

 

[sweetvi]

my family member has two children by someone we suspect to have a mental disorder. needless to say he drained her emotionally and spiritually for many years. It is not worth it if he is not trying to seek help. We need Jesus to heal us, man can not do it. you are not his savior just his support........IF HE DECIDES TO GET TREATMENT

 

[DarkJoy]

I was trying to be compassionate in my first post.

These ladies are right though. If I had it to do over again, I would not waste valuable youth trying to 'fix' another person. I would have left but being 16/17 I was young and ignorant. You have experience on your side. Leave while you can. There's so much more out there with lots more promise without dead weight dragging behind you every moment of your life.

Take it from someone with experience. Leave. While YOU still have hope.

 

[Mai Tai]

Honestly you can't love him for his potential. You have to be good with him NOW and if he improves for the better in the future then it is all gravy. Also be aware that sometimes when men make a change good/bad they will sometimes dump the person who was there.

If this ain't the truth then I don't know what is. OP...You've gotten some excellent advice here so what you gonna do?

 

[ThickHair]

OP, where are ya sis????

 

[MissMariee]

I'm here, I'm here! Thank you all SO much for your advice. You're all 100% right, this is draining me, and I can't love him for his potential. As of right now I'm keeping my distance. I've told him if he wants support, I will be there. But as far as relationship goes he nor I can be FULLY committed until he gets help & gets better. He agrees. I don't want to fully give up on him, but I'm also not going to waste my youth hoping he can pull it together. I give him a few months to show me he is actively, on his own, making steps & I will reevaluate this relationship. If at the point he has not, then I will cut all ties.

Idk. If I'm being ridiculous please tell me!

 

[Mai Tai]

I say make a clean break NOW. Keeping in touch and continuing to be hopeful of his recovery will close you off to bigger and better blessings. Again I know it sounds harsh but what exactly will YOU get out of keeping him in your life period?

 

[Oneprettypa]

I had an ex that was like that. Things were absolutely perfect and I thought he was "the one." However, after a while he became severely depressed and asked me to "support him" etc. I felt obligated to do so because I loved him, but I began to notice that I felt down and sad after almost every convo with him. Drastic change because he used to make me feel so alive after a phone convo. I felt drained and annoyed when I saw his name on caller ID. In a nutshell, you have your OWN life to live. You will start to feel like you are failing him when nothing you do takes him out of his funk. Support him from a distance. This is a horrible platform to begin a marriage or anything more serious than it is now.

 

[Farida]

I would not allow the relationship to progress without him getting help. He will suck the life out of you and try and make you feel guilty for his problems. A healthy person should not need you to be OK. You should enhance his life, not make if. Be frank and tell him he needs help and for now you cannot be in this relationship until he is healthy. If he threatens to kill himself call for help and they can commit him to a facility or something. It is hard to let go of good people we love. But you are not married. Spare yourself the disaster.