I just found out that I was the OTHER WOMAN...

TG2000

TG2000

New Member
I am so devastated. ......

Background info
I was introduced to my ex-SO in 2004. We started off as friends. We would go bowling, go to live sporting events, just simply enjoying each others company. We offically became a couple in 2006. He told me he was in love with me and wanted to start a life with me. We started preparing for a future together by getting our finances in order, paying off debt, and saving money. We decided against living with each other because I believed the only man I should live with is my husband. He understood that and purchased a condo nearby.

As the years progress, we have both save up a substantial amount of money(seperate accounts) and paid off major debt. Monthly, we would go over the statements. We were really progressing well with our plan. We talked marriage, kids and everything. I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life....

Fast forward to last week.....
So I get a text message regarding my ex-SO. The unidentified person texted, "I have info regarding "SO". If you care to hear it, please call ###-####, I look forward to talking to you". I like WTH?:perplexed So I called the number and it was a women who claimed that she was his live in girlfriend of 7 years!!!! She said they have been talking marriage for 6 years! So this past weekend we all got together and he admitted everything to me. The house was in the woman's name. He told her that he rented the condo out to his best friend. We were together all the time and I don't see how he could of pulled this off.

This sorry bastard started crying and apologizing to me.:rolleyes: Telling me he never meant to hurt me. He said he just got caught up. Wtfe! He said he wanted to stay with the other women. He has more invested there. I'm sure there were some red flags but I must of overlooked them. Now I'm depressed, I hate for my child to see me like this. I can't eat, can't sleep, can't think....can't do anything!

I haven't heard from him until this morning. He texted saying "Please don't contact me anymore...I plan to do right by my girlfriend....sorry again". WTF.....:wallbash: my heart stopped. I can't believe this fool! That is exactly how men end up on "SNAPPED" Sorry SOB!!!! I'm pissed!!!
 
Sorry you are going through this.

He's a sorry piece of crap. Now the woman is staying with him and he will prob marry her since he was caught. Couldn't be me, he would be gone.
 
WOW. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know it sucks to hear this now,but just give it time and be glad not another day of your life was wasted on this fraud of a man.
 
So sorry that he put you through all of this. I pray you can get things back in order for yourself and your child. He's a douche bag. Another will come to mend your heart.
 
coooldddddddddd bloooooodedddddddd...argghh

if your on the east coast and need someone w/ a big blk truck and a blk catsuit to do a drive-by on his *** lemme know...hmmm

wish you the best diva--stay strong..this was a blessing in disguise--trust!!!
 
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WOW!!! What a sorry piece of manure!!! I'm really sorry this has happened to you. He must have been really good at his craft. Did you ever meet family members? Any of his friends? They are just as crappy and lame if they knew and didn't tell you.
 
I am SOOOO sorry you had to go through this. He definitely is a sorry SOB! Look at it this way... Count yourself lucky that you spared your child the heartbreak of having a useless man in his life. You are still alive and have so much going for you...(your hair is banging by the way). You obviously appear to be independent and financially stable to take care of yourself and your little one which is a feat in its own. The crisis in Haiti is a constant reminder that some of the issues in this life are so insignificant compared to the big the picture. And to be honest the worst part is the fact is your ex's words even shows that he will eventually come back...they all do. His words like he's "too invested"---major warning sign that hes not satisfied at home and probably never will be because he's trying to make something out of nothing. I digress---although I have snapped/"waiting to exhale moments"....its not worth it and gives attention to where its not due. I truly wish you the best...heartbreak is not easy and although the time spent cannot be regained--always forge ahead!
 
OMG Girl I'm soooo sorry.
And he has the nerve to text you about "wanting to do right by his gf?

The GOOD thing is YOU did everything right:

- you kept your money separate
- you didn't make a home with him

You stood on your resolve even in the face of temptation. And you did wait a long enough time to be with him. Sometimes there's really nothing you can do to avoid a cheater... they can be tricky. I feel for this "girlfriend" of his... he might cheat again because he's "trying to do right" and "has more invested." I think he needs to handle himself
 
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I'm sooooo sorry this happened to you!!!:bighug:I can't imagine your pain. He's as cold as ice. His day will come sweety, when he'll have to be accountable for his actions! He dished dirt but the question is, will he be able to handle when it comes back around? I will keep you in my prayers. This too will pass!!
 
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I'm at a loss for words for several reasons....My stomach just turned reading this. Just know that you are not alone. My heart goes out to you.
 
perfect28 said:
coooldddddddddd bloooooodedddddddd...argghh

if your on the east coast and need someone w/ a big blk truck and a blk catsuit to do a drive-by on his *** lemme know...hmmm

wish you the best diva--stay strong..this was a blessing in disguise--trust!!!
Click to expand...

That really made me smile...thank you for that!
 
Oh Darling I am so sorry to hear this. I know that he is a piece of Garbage and even HELL is too good of a place for him to go. I know this can be pretty painful that he lied to you lied to your child and lied to the other woman. I am sure that you are not the first woman he has did this too and won't be the last. But the is not consulation to you. You are in my prayers and I hope you heal from this pretty fast. Cause it sucks cause he like They all lied.

But the upshoot is. YOU said while you were with him you saved a substantial amount of money. And you paid off a bunch of debts and everything was in separate accounts. At least this idiot had some morals as not to set up shop with you. Because that would have been really devasting. I am sure his live in GF knew what was going on. I think that there is more to this than meets the eye. Just be glad that you are out of it.

Believe me you are in a WAY better position now than ever cause you are gone you saved up some money and paid off some debts. In Hindsight aren't you glad that you did not get joint accounts. he could have taken the money and left. And you would have never seen him again.

It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts and you are allowed to feel hurt. This ain't something you can get over in a day.

THANK G-d almighty that he did not move in with you. THANK G-d almighty that you did not get joint accounts. Thank G-d almighty that he did not marry you cause I don't think the GF is leaving no matter what he does. Think of that situation.

Just keep stacking your paper and living your life. This time next year I betcha he will try and text you again to say hello and whatnot (they all do) but you will be in a much better position.

You will be fine and away from that mess.

He needs his balls stomped or something
 
Oh TG I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I agree with the advice that all the other ladies have given you especially ole girl with the catsuit and big truck. What he did was unspeakable but what you need to know is that everything happens for a reason you might have needed your heartbroken right now for you to able to embrace the right man when he comes along and he WILL come along when your not looking for him.

I feel that men who do things like this ALWAYS get what's coming too them. I'm sending you a big hug and I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that the pain will eventually go away and this experience will make you a stronger person.:bighug:
 
my jaw is sitting on this table. I cant believe him. When u think back OP, does anything start to make sense that he could've been hiding something?
 
You WILL get through this. Stay strong and positive. Surround yourself with family and friends.

Count your blessings...it wasn't 16 or 26 years down the line. I wish you the best.
 
southernchocolate said:
WOW!!! What a sorry piece of manure!!! I'm really sorry this has happened to you. He must have been really good at his craft. Did you ever meet family members? Any of his friends? They are just as crappy and lame if they knew and didn't tell you.
Click to expand...

Yes, I met his family. Yeah, me and his sister traveled together. Trifiling...
 
I am in shock though I really shouldn't be. I am so sorry. I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. My own heart stopped when I read this. I really don't know what else to say.
 
Lord, that is so low! I'm sorry you had to go through this. But look at it this way, he's no longer your concern anymore. Be thankful that his girlfriend text you to find out what's going on. Too bad she still staying with him but then again she might have cut him out, too. Either way, he is no longer your problem. Be glad you found out about him now therefore you can move on. It would have been a lot worse AFTER you married him.

I read that you have mentioned traveling with the sister. I wonder does she know what he's doing. Something tells me that she does. Like they say blood is thicker than water. I don't know the extent of his sister and your friendship but now that you and that a**wipe broke up I would limited contact with his sister as well. Believe me she knows more than you think. And from here on out, don't talk to his sister about your new relationship you have with men in the future. She may help her brother keep tabs on what you are doing so he can ease his way back into your life.

I tell ya this is crazy!
 
Girl, take it to the Lord in prayer and please believe GOD will handle his butt. I want to call him so many names but I know in my heart that those names won't mean a thing compared to what is in store for him. You will not want to be around when his time comes because even though he hurt you with his LIES you will be the one to pity him one day. Believe me, I know. Oh, and he will come back, they always DO, ALWAYS. I'm sure the text was sent to you while he was in front of the chick to assure her dumb butt that he's not dealing with you no more. She needs to pack it up and head for the hills too.

Think of all the good things he did, you got good credit and money in the bank, the rat bastid served his purpose. Thank GOD that you had enough sense to remain independent while dealing with him. Shared accounts could have meant your money was helping to fund his other relationship.

Let me shut up because i'm extremely heated. My issues is, if I want to be the other woman, LET ME MAKE THAT DECISION, it's not up to you to give me that part. OLE #($*@(@(@_)%)%&#&@)(!)!!_!_!*$(#(#!!!!!!!
 
tallglass2000 said:
Yes, I met his family. Yeah, me and his sister traveled together. Trifiling...
Click to expand...

Yes, just straight up trifling. I know how you feel though. When I was younger I was involved with a man-boy (because he wasn't a real man in any aspect) I was with this dude for three years. We were both military and in the same unit so whenever the unit deployed, we were together. Well to make a loooooonng story short, dude was still trying to win back his girl he lost 8 years ago while we were still together. He was telling her the entire time that "he wasn't messing with anyone" and how much he loved her.

His family knew the whole time but still hee heed and ha ha-ed in my face like there was nothing wrong. I didn't find this out until after we had broken up and a month later he finally married her. I felt so stupid because I had put up with so much from him. But you know, every time I look back on the situation, the signs were so clear. But because i was in love, I chose to ignore them and blow them off as something else. That was the first time I'd ever been hurt like that and trust me it was painful.

But of course, time heals all wounds and I was actually happy for going through it because that relationship taught me so much. Trust me, it's gonna hurt like nobody's business for a while, but after the rain, the sun will shine so much brighter. Believe me it will.:yep:
 
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I am so sorry that this happened to you.
Remember that God makes NO mistakes, you will bounce back and you will find happiness again. Thank goodness you didn't rely on him financially, the emotional hurt is enough to go through, if not having to deal with practical issues also.
(((((Big Hug)))))
 
tallglass2000 said:
Yes, I met his family. Yeah, me and his sister traveled together. Trifiling...
Click to expand...

Wow! That's just down right dirty for another woman to co-sign with this garbage! :nono: :rolleyes: I like everyone else here hate that you are going through this situation. I have been in a similar scenario before years ago with someone I thought I knew well but found out he was married. Fortunately before I become emotionally (let alone physically) involved with him:spinning:. Thank God for that! I would've been telling his wife the truth but sometimes you don't get a chance to offer your opinion before you are seconds away from meeting your maker! Anyway, in addition to what has already been said, once the pain starts to subside (and it will), try to analyze this relationship to see the signs you missed and resolve to not ever go there again. Then share with some other women to try to spare them. Some will listen. Some will not but you will be doing your part to heal and help others.
(((BIG HUG)))

And 1 more thing.. be glad yo u2 didn't have any kids together. I'm glad you didn't buy houses, cars, etc together. I cannot tell you how many women do all this stuff together with no permanent committment then are screwed finacially, emotionally, mentally, you name it!:wallbash: OK exiting thread getting heated just thinking about stuff like this...:angry2:
 
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What a blessing to find this out! Now you don't have to waste another minute of your life with that %$%$%$%.
 
This is the ultimate in betrayal, It is the same as if he cut your soul.

You are going to go through a grief process and just be gentle with yourself.

Sooner or later there will come a time that you will need to forgive and move on just know that will need to happen in order for you to move on and not carry this into another relationship or in your current family relationships.

And when I say forgiveness this is needed for you not for him. There are some silver linings in the midst of all of this.

You are debt free, you are financially stable. Focus on you and your baby. When you can wrap you head around this then move on to what you want to accomplish for yourself. The goals you would like to see happen for you and your baby.

Help your heart to heal and flourish. I promise you, one day you will have to help someone else who will be victimized by this same scenario and you can be there for her, help her, she will see that you got through this like a soldier and she will know that she can make it also.

Anytime you need to vent, or need help find your support base and go to them. Even some of the ladies here can be helpful if you need them.

Take care of yourself and your little one. You WILL get through this and you will be better and stronger than ever if that is what you chose.

I wish you all the best.
 
I'm so sorry that you're going thru this TG, but like so many of the ladies said this too shall pass.

He'll prolly try to come back with the, "she made me say that stuff" crap but cold turkey that fool. Don't allow him to rid his guilt with a novel of an apology later on.
 
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