I have cold feet.

[SUPER SWEET]

Ok, well we made a decision this weekend.

We will be getting married in March and moving in April 1st and having a big wedding next year.

Now, why do I feel nauseated. Oh...my feet.

Best wishes girlie

 

[Leslie_C]

Ok, well we made a decision this weekend.

We will be getting married in March and moving in April 1st and having a big wedding next year.

Now, why do I feel nauseated. Oh...my feet.

Aww...congrats. Im getting married in March too! We really wanted the beach wedding and to bring our family down here to FL,etc but its not in our budget right now. So since we dont want to keep pushing the date, we are doing it in our home town in early. It will be a nice, small wedding...but not the beach wedding we wanted. At least our families will be their and that was an important thing to us. I want to do a renewal of our vows in a few years though, barefoot on the beach. I love the beach...lol.

I know what happened before makes you nervous, but this is a whole different relationship with a whole different person. Im sure it will work out fine! Its not like you are following a guy all over the US and he is just your boyfriend or something...that would be different. We are probably going to have to move away from FL when hubby graduates in the fall bc all the good job offers are all over the map...I really dont want to go, but I will if we have to. Best of luck!

 

[gone_fishing]

Aww...congrats. Im getting married in March too! We really wanted the beach wedding and to bring our family down here to FL,etc but its not in our budget right now. So since we dont want to keep pushing the date, we are doing it in our home town in early. It will be a nice, small wedding...but not the beach wedding we wanted. At least our families will be their and that was an important thing to us. I want to do a renewal of our vows in a few years though, barefoot on the beach. I love the beach...lol.

I know what happened before makes you nervous, but this is a whole different relationship with a whole different person. Im sure it will work out fine! Its not like you are following a guy all over the US and he is just your boyfriend or something...that would be different. We are probably going to have to move away from FL when hubby graduates in the fall bc all the good job offers are all over the map...I really dont want to go, but I will if we have to. Best of luck!

Where do you live in FL (if you don't mind). He wants to move to Ft. Myers. That's where we just spent Christmas.

 

[Leslie_C]

Where do you live in FL (if you don't mind). He wants to move to Ft. Myers. That's where we just spent Christmas.

Tampa now...and now that u mentioned it, I moved over here from Orlando FOR HIM lol. That didnt really occur to me haha. Its bc when he got out of the military he couldnt find a decent job so he decided he wanted to go into aviation maintenance and the only school we could find locally that offered financial aid instead of student loans (and participated in the GI bill) was in Tampa. I felt like it was something I had to do and it was to help him and use for our future. So I did, and Im only an hour away from Orlando but thats where my only family in FL lives and all my friends who I miss dearly. I dont like Tampa and dont know anyone here . But Im busy so I just make the most of it and what free time I do have we spend together. Luckily he will finish in the Fall and we are outta here. It will be nice if we can stay in FL and great if we could go back to Orlando, but who knows where we will end up. On the bright side since I work in the medical field me finding a job wont be a problem no matter where we go next. I just really really really dont want to go up North. Im a southerner! lol

 

[gone_fishing]

Best wishes girlie

Thank you. I'm happy and wanna cry at the same time. I don't know what's going on.

 

[gone_fishing]

Tampa now...and now that u mentioned it, I moved over here from Orlando FOR HIM lol. That didnt really occur to me haha. Its bc when he got out of the military he couldnt find a decent job so he decided he wanted to go into aviation maintenance and the only school we could find locally that offered financial aid instead of student loans (and participated in the GI bill) was in Tampa. I felt like it was something I had to do and it was to help him and use for our future. So I did, and Im only an hour away from Orlando but thats where my only family in FL lives and all my friends who I miss dearly. I dont like Tampa and dont know anyone here . But Im busy so I just make the most of it and what free time I do have we spend together. Luckily he will finish in the Fall and we are outta here. It will be nice if we can stay in FL and great if we could go back to Orlando, but who knows where we will end up. On the bright side since I work in the medical field me finding a job wont be a problem no matter where we go next. I just really really really dont want to go up North. Im a southerner! lol

I think we passed through Tampa on the way to Ft. Myers. Like 75 or 95 can't remember which highway.

Are you from there originally. I'm always wondering about weather, humidity, allergies, mosquitos. Man, I was there in Dec and it was 83 degrees. I might shrivel up and die in the summer.

 

[*KP*]

Wishing you all the best

 

[Monigirl]

I can relate somewhat to your delimma. I was in the military and my civilian husband decided he wanted to move back to his home of record after I separated. I was hesitant but went along (he was afraid we could not make a living outside of the military too). Since I was the active duty spouse, I still had 6 months left in the AF ( My last base was in Monterey, CA) so he went ahead of me and found a job and the house in IL. Everything was going good according to him, but I was so afraid and full doubt. I wanted to be near my family after I got out of the military and planned to go to school for free in TX b/c I am Texas veteran and etc..... Well I gave IL a chance and it as been tuff beening so far away from my family and living in a town where the job market sucks for him and me. Well, it has been 3 years now and I have had enough of IL and want to move back to the south (TEXAS). Luckily he has had enough tooo of his old stumping ground. We are planing to move this spring to TEXAS.

Maybe give his idea a try and if things start to go down hill. Ask him to promise you if his plan does not work out, that he will move back to an area of your choice. Or better yet to a place that would benefit both of you. Make him sign a home made contract for fun. LOL!! Men be forgeting their promises.

God bless! I will keep you in my prayers.

OT: Your siggy pic is beautiful. You have such nice even clear skin.

 

[gone_fishing]

I can relate somewhat to your delimma. I was in the military and my civilian husband decided he wanted to move back to his home of record after I separated. I was hesitant but went along (he was afraid we could not make a living outside of the military too). Since I was the active duty spouse, I still had 6 months left in the AF ( My last base was in Monterey, CA) so he went ahead of me and found a job and the house in IL. Everything was going good according to him, but I was so afraid and full doubt. I wanted to be near my family after I got out of the military and planned to go to school for free in TX b/c I am Texas veteran and etc..... Well I gave IL a chance and it as been tuff beening so far away from my family and living in a town where the job market sucks for him and me. Well, it has been 3 years now and I have had enough of IL and want to move back to the south (TEXAS). Luckily he has had enough tooo of his old stumping ground. We are planing to move this spring to TEXAS.

Maybe give his idea a try and if things start to go down hill. Ask him to promise you if his plan does not work out, that he will move back to an area of your choice. Or better yet to a place that would benefit both of you. Make him sign a home made contract for fun. LOL!! Men be forgeting their promises.

God bless! I will keep you in my prayers.

OT: Your siggy pic is beautiful. You have such nice even clear skin.

You were stationed in my home town!

Well, I lived specifically in Pacific Grove, Ca but close enough!

I miss it so bad!

Thank you. I left you a message in your Fotki earlier!

 

[esoterica]

Good luck Adequate!

 

[Mystic]

Wow, that's a tight tangle. How about going with him to check the area out. If you like what you see, you can help him pick the house out etc., but let him know that you are not able to move right away. Stay in Cali for a while and visit him on the weekend or so. Let him feel it out for 6-12 months and hopefully you will be able to transition the move slowly rather than immediately. That way you will see how stable it would be for him and you would be able to assimilate your self to the area before doing a big move - test the waters before jumping in. I have helped couples relocate to different locations for jobs and this is what most of them do. If it doesn't work out, at least they have the option to go back home.

This is long.

Ummm...I need advice I think.

When I first got married to my husband (now ex) we lived in California where I am from. He's from Texas. I never had any intention of moving from there although he was in the military at the time. He had a year left on his contract when we got married and told me he'd be getting out - meaning he wouldn't re-enlist. He was stationed where I lived and there was no hint that he'd be sent to another post elsewhere. I was content with that and we bought a house in Cali and started our life there waiting for his contract to end.

Well, he got all freaked out towards the end and wanted to re-enlist. I was not having that 'cause I already told the man I'm not moving every other year all over the nation. He knew that before we got married. Long story short he did re-enlist one more time and ended up in Kosovo for a year (back then).

The end of that contract he didn't re-enlist.

But, what he DID do was tell me he wanted to move away from Cali. He said the cost of living was really high. This is after we lived in Cali for a few years (after marriage). He's originally from the South although not this state.

He was applying for jobs on the east coast and he finally asked me to move with him to accept a position at a large banking company. I didn't want to but we had our child at this point and everyone told me I needed to follow my husband/let him be the head of the household etc. and that we were a family and I needed to do this.

So I did. I moved for my husband.

So we moved - completely to a new town with new people where I knew NOBODY and had no relatives. I was very sad and depressed when we first got here but I had him so things were okay.

However, when we moved here his job offer fell though because they downsized some department unexpectedly. All they offered him was a severence package after all of that. With this being an "at will" employment state we didn't even have grounds to sue for the inconvenience.

Anyways, my husband looked and looked for a job for 8 months before he decided (and broke my heart) to take a very high paying job working for a foreign entity (not espionage or anything...legit).

Sigh...

He asked me to move with him but it was in the middle east (Bahrain) and I did not want to move again. I just did not want to go. So I stayed here when he promised he'd only work for a year and then come back.

Well that never worked out, he was money hungry and kept wanting to stay long and longer and although he was sending money home I was miserable without him but not miserable enough to move to a desert island in the persian gulf.

So anyway long story as short as possible, we filed for a divorce (after I became aware of some infidelity on his part).

Now fast forward to today.

My fiance moved up here from South Florida (gulf side) and now wants to go back.

He's saying where we are now is not the place for him and by Spring 2009 he intends to move back there.

I just got settled here though (it seems) even though it's been a few years.

Obviously, I would not be moving anywhere till after the wedding but it just freaks me out that once again a guy is asking me to relocate and I'm just scared I'm going to get down there and everything's going to go haywire and I'm going to have to start over again.

So we were talking last night and he's telling me that he will not stay where we are now until he dies. He said he loves me but he expects me to trust him to make a good decision for all of us. He reiterated all the times I said I wanted to be near the ocean since that is where I grew up so he doesn't see a problem with us moving to Florida.

Well central Cali is WAY different Florida. They should call it the hurricane state rather than the sunshine state. But, in addition, I don't know if I want to live in such a hot humid climate all year around. I also don't know what the job market is like down there and if I'd be able to rebound if things didn't work out because who knows what situation I will be in if things go sour.

I feel selfish for thinking this way but because of prior experiences it has me VERY VERY antys to think about and the fact that he's put a deadline on it feels like a tremendous amount of pressure for me.

He wants to go down to south florida this spring and summer so that we can look at the area and get a feel for if I like it.

I'm willing to do that but what if I don't?

I just feel like I'd be such a fool to uproot all my stuff and move for a man again. I did that for one husband already and I am still regretting it to this day!

Any advice?

 

[Leslie_C]

I think we passed through Tampa on the way to Ft. Myers. Like 75 or 95 can't remember which highway.

Are you from there originally. I'm always wondering about weather, humidity, allergies, mosquitos. Man, I was there in Dec and it was 83 degrees. I might shrivel up and die in the summer.

You will get used to the heat and wont go out in the daytime much when its blazing. Your hair will hate the humidity lol. But I love the sunshine and the fact its hardly ever cold (Ill take heat over cold any day!)

 

[gone_fishing]

oooooooooooooops wrong thread

 

[Connie]

Ok, well we made a decision this weekend.

We will be getting married in March and moving in April 1st and having a big wedding next year.

Now, why do I feel nauseated. Oh...my feet.

Congratulations! I'm happy for you!

If you're getting married this March, why not just have a 'celebration of your new marriage' party next year on the day that would've been your wedding date? Technically you'll already be married anyway; this could be a gathering of friends and family to celebrate your union and you could re-recite your vows and/or make new ones to give it that matrimonial/wedding feel if you want.

Just a suggestion

 

[gone_fishing]

Congratulations! I'm happy for you!

If you're getting married this March, why not just have a 'celebration of your new marriage' party next year on the day that would've been your wedding date? Technically you'll already be married anyway; this could be a gathering of friends and family to celebrate your union and you could re-recite your vows and/or make new ones to give it that matrimonial/wedding feel if you want.

Just a suggestion

big reception party?

I'll bring this up to him.

Honestly, that wedding would be for the benefit of friends and family (both of whom live far far away) who cannot come to this small ceremony in March.

 

[cocoberry10]

I should say that the reason he wants to move is because he moved here to work for a mortgage company that went under several months ago and he's now in limbo as fiding another job paying what he wants although he is working now.

He said moving to Florida would allow him to use the connections he already has established to get back to the income level he was before (outside of the realestate market).

First, hugs to you Adequate!:hugs:

Second, I think this is less about your current situation, and it's more about the past. You moved for your ex and things didn't work out, and you were miserable. But from all accounts (as far as what you've written), your new man is very different from your ex. I know you are afraid of the future, but trust is essential to any relationship. And yes, starting over is difficult, but I say pray to the Lord to show you whether this is the right decision or not. Ask Him to provide all your needs so that when you move, things will be in order. Let Him show you if this is not the right decision. You still have some fear from the past, and it can seep into the current situation. It really seems like you have a good man (I don't know him personally, but from what you've said). So, just pray and know that God will show you! Who knows? Maybe there's a mansion with your name on it in Florida! And Florida is not too far from NC, right?

 

[Connie]

big reception party?

I'll bring this up to him.

Honestly, that wedding would be for the benefit of friends and family (both of whom live far far away) who cannot come to this small ceremony in March.

Oh I see...well in that case, by all means do the formal thing so those who couldn't make the small ceremony won't feel cheated. And take lots of pictures!