I Ghosted My Boyfriend Of 5 Years

[Zaynab]

I responded before I asked his opinion. It's probably on the first page. I was convinced she flew off the coo coo nest before. I agreed with what he said and I expressed it before asking him or posting his response. However people seem to have a huge issue with that idk why. I don't participate in group think though which I realize is an issue on this board (I've expressed that sentiment before as well).

Secondly, I do think she cares and I think she's a bit crazy as well. All of that to prove a point to a man who doesn't care about her is extreme and crazy. Just living your life, looking good and genuinely moving on is enough to make a man want you. Men typically want what they cannot get.

Changing your number .5 mind after, calling your family to tell them un friend and block, breaking your lease etc in a matter of hours then posting it for validation is odd. I agree with my friend , she's probably still single and caring and hoping that he's missing her when there's a strong chance that he's happy he got rid of her crazy behind. He set it up so good to get rid of her.

Secondly I think it's strange that women don't ask male opinion. If I want to know how a man thinks I ask a man. I then ask women how to handle "man think" in an appropriate manner.

The only part I think she did that was stupid to let his family know. Other than that I don't think flew off the handle or is crazy. All the other stuff is whatever, I was just offering you a different angle. I agree about group think because I'm the last person on this board who would ever. But I do know the nature of men lol

 

[Zaynab]

Wait. What was the guy friend's response? I can't see it. I wanna knoooowwwwww. Darn work computer!

I can't remember exactly. If didn't know it was a man, you would think a woman wrote it.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I just don't see all the "she cares so much." She is just saying what happened. Like, it's a summary of factual events. I didn't read any emotion behind it, lol.

I also found it odd how quick some were to respond with the "he don't care about you." Why so eager to put a woman down over a man?

 

[LovelyRo]

Wait. What was the guy friend's response? I can't see it. I wanna knoooowwwwww. Darn work computer!

Basically, the woman will never heal and that she’ll still be single and thinking about the ex years later.

 

[Sosoothing]

You have to be careful of getting a man's opinion regarding women, they often come from a place of bitterness or anger. A man whose been hurt by a woman will still remember it from fifth grade and emotionally punish every woman he encounters, which ironically sounds like the guy is talking about himself.

I only take the opinion of married men or men in very committed relationships, I wouldn't put much value on the opinion of a single man.

Pretty much. Just because someone has a penis, doesn't mean he is credible concerning masculine opinions regarding relationships. I only seek the opinions and advice of men with certain traits who also have years of healthy relationship experience to draw from.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Basically, the woman will never heal and that she’ll still be single and thinking about the ex years later.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

After 5 years she was probably tired of walking in the spirit of girlfriend this was just what she needed to cut her losses since she couldn't reclaim her time.

 

[NinaShamone]

I just don't see all the "she cares so much." She is just saying what happened. Like, it's a summary of factual events. I didn't read any emotion behind it, lol.

I also found it odd how quick some were to respond with the "he don't care about you." Why so eager to put a woman down over a man?

Word. Even if she still feels some type of way, she cares more about her own feelings over his. Otherwise she would have tried to reach out to him and explain herself after all these years.

Good for her.

 

[Zaynab]

I also don't think he was trying to get caught so he could get rid of her. Dudes cheat and do blatant things

I just don't see all the "she cares so much." She is just saying what happened. Like, it's a summary of factual events. I didn't read any emotion behind it, lol.

I also found it odd how quick some were to respond with the "he don't care about you." Why so eager to put a woman down over a man?

I did too. And calling her crazy. Like crazy would be asking him about it or trying to work it out.

 

[blackbarbie986]

What did you expect him to say? Men are invested in gaming us into low self esteem (even friends). Wanna see what ghosting does, catch a guy who has experienced it when his guard is down. Its absolutely pathetic.

Yeah, I met a guy a few months ago that had this done to him, he said the relationship was young great and she just dipped. Which she told him she had a habit of doing when they first met. He never thought she'd did it to him, that was 3 years ago and he's still messed up about it.

 

[intellectualuva]

The ex who pestered me in ghe store was from 10/11 years ago.

I'm sure he may have said I don't care that I left him to someone....but he certainly didn't show it in the bread aisle.......and all the way out to the parking lot.


Some dudes don't care though. Lol.

 

[GreenEyedJen]

Yeah, I met a guy a few months ago that had this done to him, he said the relationship was young great and she just dipped. Which she told him she had a habit of doing when they first met. He never thought she'd did it to him, that was 3 years ago and he's still messed up about it.

Ummmm that might literally be my ex. Deadass.

 

[Mai Tai]

I know a lot of women and I have yet to meet one who ghosted her ex and was unwillingly single and miserable after.

By the time a woman walks away with no strings attached she has empowered herself, be it through getting her finances together, developing the strength to leave a toxic relationship, whatever...When she's done, she is READY to live her best life.

I ghosted my ex-fiance and that was the best decision I've ever made. I legally had to give him a 30-day notice to vacate my apartment but when that door shut behind him on moveout day, I shed like 3.7 tears, had the locks changed within the hour, blocked his number, and was on a date with my now husband that same night.

I do appreciate the opinion of (healthy) men but I value their actions over everything. The words of men, even those of honorable, stand-up guys, are fickle at best when not paired with intentional actions.

The friend thinks the woman in the OP will be single and hard-up for years to come is only projecting what he thinks SHOULD happen to her as some sort of payback. It rarely actually happens realistically. I'm almost 100% positive he (the friend) has been painfully dumped at some point in his life. It's obvious.

 

[MizzBFly]

I applaud the effort. I think more women should make completely clean breaks from people who prove to be traitorous whether it's romantic, friend or family. I don't know that it matters whether a traitor cares or not. They do what they do.

Whenever I hear women say they need closure I get the sense that what they really want is an "opening" to give the person another chance or ask to be given another chance for whatever real or imagined thing they did to cause the conflict.

If somebody does me dirty, that is the closure.

I totally agree wholeheartedly!
I had a female who tried to reconcile after 5 yrs. Bih please #trife behavior, no excuse
it’s a gift you got ghosted instead of lucilled

 

[blackbarbie986]

Ummmm that might literally be my ex. Deadass.

Ever worked in AL, lol.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

I believe i posted this in another thread before Xmas that I cut loose a guy I was dating...we were pretty close but it wasn't going where i needed it to be, I was just done. Blocked on ALL my social media..twitter/FB/IG my phone ..whatsapp. nothing to talk about..you know why if you think hard enough. I don't care what you do...you don't need to know how great I'm doing. Ghosted!!!

Well the one thing I forgot was email...LOL...he emailed a few times..But like was mentioned up top...I felt a relief and more than ever I feel that I have opened up my life for the right person to come along.

Men care...they got egos...and it's shattered when you ghost them.

 

[Ipanema]

So ghosting does two things: It gives you the upper hand, the last word without having to say anything, and it also serves the purpose of shattering, breaking the other person. The person who does the ghosting gets an ego boost while simultaneously crushing someone else's ego? Interesting. I wonder if avoidant personalities (from attachment theory) are more likely to do this.

 

[caribeandiva]

After 5 years she was probably tired of walking in the spirit of girlfriend this was just what she needed to cut her losses since she couldn't reclaim her time.

 

[caribeandiva]

I’m infamous for ghosting men. My blocking finger is strong! I thought there was something wrong with me. This thread has me thinking otherwise.

 

[007PMP]

I thought the same thing. But I would have taken my video game and breakfast with me.

And his video console and games

Ain’t no gaming bih...

 

[007PMP]

I applaud the effort. I think more women should make completely clean breaks from people who prove to be traitorous whether it's romantic, friend or family. I don't know that it matters whether a traitor cares or not. They do what they do.

Whenever I hear women say they need closure I get the sense that what they really want is an "opening" to give the person another chance or ask to be given another chance for whatever real or imagined thing they did to cause the conflict.

If somebody does me dirty, that is the closure.

Exactly. Closure was already had by his actions so what’s there to discuss?! These are the times when you apply what mama said “hush yo mouf gal...just don’t say nothing—stopping talking too much”

 

[Chrismiss]

This wasn't a true ghosting to me. Ghosting IMO has no rhyme or reason. Walking in on your dude in the bed with someone else is a justified breakup. Now, had she walked in and he's asleep alone and she decides or decided on her way over there he isn't her cup of tea, that's a ghost. I think men and women flip the narrative in their favor to save face or to have the upper emotional hand. He was playing games, she bounced. After five years, she knew he had some game to him. Probably wasn't the first time he did something foul.