I facebook messaged him... now what??

isawstars

isawstars

Well-Known Member
There is this guy at my university's gym, who I've been eyeing recently... A few months ago I asked one of my guy friends about him and they were actually roommates one year. My friend offered to introduce me to him. However, warned me that he tried to fix him up with another girl and she said that it was difficult to have a conversation with him. So naturally, I declined.

Now that I've been seeing him at the gym consistently, I told myself I'd speak to him. But for some reason I've been too shy to speak to this fellow and that is unlike me! So last night, my best friend convinced me to send him a facebook message. I've never done that before but she said that if he's interested he will respond back... and of course that phrase, "what's the worst thing that could happen?--he won't respond, that's it."

I messaged him saying, "Hey. I've seen you at the gym a few times and just wanted to say hi..." And he messaged me back today saying "Hey, I've seen you too lol." Now I am thinking. Now what??

My friend told me I should shoot a message back saying "When's the next time you're going? Maybe I could teach you a thing or two...*wink*" But I don't know if that's the route to go with him. From what I've been told he's a devout Christian, doesn't drink, plays pick up basketball at the student center, and wasn't outgoing when set up with a girl once.
 
I would wait until I saw him at the gym to see if he approaches you. I would not message him via facebook anymore unless he asks you a question and/or tries to engage you in a conversation. To me the ball is in his court now. I would not chase him.
 
Hmmm...if he's a sincere christian then self-respect is important to him (always keep that in mind no matter what).

To play it safe ease up on the facebook messaging. Sounds as though you are chasing him. If anything get your friend/his ex-roomate to do the introduction and take it from there.
 
Yeah, you've already took a step forward. I'd casually say hi next time I see him at the gym and keep it moving. If he pursues a conversation then score! But if not at least you had the nerve to say something and mark him off for the next guy.
 
You were bold by making the first move to grab his attention. I would not do anything else if I were you. The ball is in his court at this point.
 
If a guy likes you, he will make it happen. I really believe facebook, text messages and email all get in the way of having a healthy relationship. I'm married now, but I only "received" loving text messages from my DH while dating. No way was I replying or sending. Men like to do the chasing.

Now of course I told him in person when I saw him, "I got your message. You are so sweet". But sometimes I wouldn't even mention his messages. :lachen: It drove him crazy...and I wasn't even playing games, this is just the way I am, let the guy do the chasing. Good advice!
 
Thanks for the advice ladies!

Hopefully he will be in the weight room tomorrow so I can simply say "hi." My only concern is that he isn't assertive from what my friends tell me.

My girl friend is pushing me to message him back by telling me, "is that how you want the conversation to end? flirt with him, darn it!" But I think you ladies are right... I don't want to scare him away. I'm just afraid he won't make a move.
 
isawstars said:
I'm just afraid he won't make a move.
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If I have learned ONE thing in my relationship life, it's to just move on if a man doesn't make a move. (Heck, I'm going through that now, lol, but I'm leaving dude alone... no "sneaky" attempts to try to get him to talk to me.)

But the simple answer to this is that if he doesn't make a move, he doesn't make a move. There's nothing more to do but move on.

You put yourself out there, possibly a little too much, but it's done. If he doesn't make a move, oh well. Such is life!
 
Don't send that boy any more messages. He knows you're interested, heck you went out of your way to send him a FB message. If he's interested he'll take it from here.
 
You should message him back and say something like, "Oh okay. . .well, say hey next time! lol" and leave it at that. Put it on him to do something. (ETA: IMO, being in college, FB msgs are so common and easy. . .that msg was too vague to let him know anything more than what you stated. . .which is good.)

So when you see him at the gym you can do you and glance over, but wait for him to say something to you. And if he doesn't then, he just doesn't. You've already told him what to do so if he declines that says something. But at least now if you see him out an event or end up around the same ppl, you can speak and not feel awkward.

Well, that's how I think/would handle it lol.
 
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hopeful said:
I would wait until I saw him at the gym to see if he approaches you. I would not message him via facebook anymore unless he asks you a question and/or tries to engage you in a conversation. To me the ball is in his court now. I would not chase him.
Click to expand...

Nothing more to say. That is great advice. I have learned from the the ladies on here, that you have to make them work a bit. Don't make is so easy.

I'm not talking about sex and I'm not talking about playing games. I'm just saying kick it old school, LOL! Have him court you. :yep:
 
MissNina said:
You should message him back and say something like, "Oh okay. . .well, say hey next time! lol" and leave it at that. Put it on him to do something. (ETA: IMO, being in college, FB msgs are so common and easy. . .that msg was too vague to let him know anything more than what you stated. . .which is good.)

So when you see him at the gym you can do you and glance over, but wait for him to say something to you. And if he doesn't then, he just doesn't. You've already told him what to do so if he declines that says something. But at least now if you see him out an event or end up around the same ppl, you can speak and not feel awkward.

Well, that's how I think/would handle it lol.
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Thanks! I took your advice and said something quite similar and he said "lol I'll be sure to do that" :grin:
 
You sent him one FB msg you aren't chasing him yet....Either respond back to his msg or wait until you see him in the gym.
 
i think the above advice is great, but just remember...he's just a man...
he's not some complex specimen worth some extra time care, he's just a human. lol.
if you wanna start a conversation, go ahead. If you want to wait, wait.

Life is too short to over think every move, I think. I always like to think about it this way...
In 10 years you most likely won't remember, nor care about this conversation, so you should do what you feel. lol. Not saying that you should go all crazy with it, but it shouldn't cause you stress... you probably have mid terms coming up...

lol
 
I think it was a good move, he was probably working up his way to speak to you as well, and who knows, maybe that other chick was boring, lol.
 
Update

Well i got to the gym later than normal today because it was raining and ugly out. When I got there he was playing basketball with his intramural team--and his arms looked ripped :lick:. The court is next the weight room so i know he saw me but I pretended I didn't see him because I got shy and didn't know what to do. I lifted weights... and he was still playing... and when I couldn't find anything else to do decided to go upstairs to do cardio... of course, while i was going up the stairs i saw him walking inside the weight room getting his bag and seemed to be looking around maybe?

I am so mad at myself I left the weight room 2 minutes too soon! :wallbash: When I finished doing cardio I went back downstairs and he was gone.
 
isawstars said:
Update

Well i got to the gym later than normal today because it was raining and ugly out. When I got there he was playing basketball with his intramural team--and his arms looked ripped :lick:. The court is next the weight room so i know he saw me but I pretended I didn't see him because I got shy and didn't know what to do. I lifted weights... and he was still playing... and when I couldn't find anything else to do decided to go upstairs to do cardio... of course, while i was going up the stairs i saw him walking inside the weight room getting his bag and seemed to be looking around maybe?

I am so mad at myself I left the weight room 2 minutes too soon! :wallbash: When I finished doing cardio I went back downstairs and he was gone.
Click to expand...

Girl, you will run into that boy again. If it's NOT at the gym, you should feel free to say what up, smile or do whatever it is you wanna do. If you see him again at the gym, I'd still wait for him to speak first. . .don't get mad @ urself for missing him! Hehe that's so cuteeeeee :giggle:
 
cutiepiebabygirl said:
It might be a good thing that he "missed" you...because if he's interested, he'll be extra anxious to see you next time.
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I agree :) I say do what feels right, no need to play games :) have fun in the process and don't sweat it all too hard. He may turn out to be a cool friend either way :)
 
I am so mad at myself I left the weight room 2 minutes too soon! When I finished doing cardio I went back downstairs and he was gone.
Click to expand...

lol...the gym is STILL gonna be there...:grin:
wear somethin pretty


ETA

& offer prayer
yes....this deserves divine attention
how do you think you met him in the first place:lachen:
 
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