What's wrong with me???

Hummmm thanks for all the replies.

I'm still not sure what I think of it all.

Since my personal situation, I have met more and more gay men in the Navy. I'm not thinking ALL navy men are gay, they aren't--but the whole reason I gave a Japanese man a chance in the first place is cause the two navy guys I went on dates with BEFORE him were 1. still married and 2. trying to ho around.

It's funny cause EVERYTHING in my life seems in control now, my job and etc, but not my personal romance life. I seriously analyze these men and think they all have something going on that's suspect.

And in Japan, counselors are near impossible to find. Japanese ppl don't seem to believe in getting help b/c of the stigma attached...but I'm gonna find someone to talk to--not just another girlfriend who's having issues herself.

So I guess that's something I need to do--find a therapist--I think they have them more in Tokyo...
 
:lachen::lachen::lachen:Your post had me cracking up. I know you've been through somethings but you have to learn to not allow an assholes bs foul behavior to dictate your future. Don't go giving up yo power to love and trust again like that momma. You can be more aware and discerning in your future interactions fo sho. :grin: And why da helz ain't I heard from you lately chica?

Sorry girl...I guess I've been busy dealing with the nutty rice crackers at my job and getting over how my ex did me dirty. But I'm gonna get it together..:yep:
 
I noticed your siggy said, "You won't find it unless you go looking for it." I repeat, YOU WON"T FIND IT UNLESS YOU GO LOOKING FOR IT!" What are you looking for? Your mind is a POWERFUL weapon and asset. "YOU WILL FIND IT IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IT"
 
You have lots of issues, please get help.......not only did you rip him for being married and cheating, which you don't know but you think he's a pervert. Damn maybe he's just out enjoying the weather. Why does he have to be gay? What is your problem?

In defense of the OP, you have to know what happened to her--what she revealed in past threads to understand where she's coming from.

What she went through in her past relationship would test anyone's faith in a man.

I won't go into what happened, that's up to her, but as I stated in my earlier posts, if you know/knew her story, you'd see that her actions are justified. She is not over-reacting at all.
 
Even though I understand why you would be hesitant, you should have at least kept the number, because if when you changed your mind, you could have contacted him. Now, unless you see him again, you'll never know. Since you didn't ask him why he was there at the park, you'll never know whether or not he was a freaky guy, a nice guy or a nice, freaky guy. It hurts to be hurt, but don't let it cripple your life.
 
I think its too early to think about another relationship but she could use a few distractions and sometime to heal.
 
I was out today with a girlfriend and her kids. (She's Japanese married to a Black guy) and her youngest and I are at the monkey cage in the public park.

I notice this semi-cute Black guy is chilling on the bench across from us with his laptop. (I notice Black ppl everywhere here..) So I look over but don't really "look" too much, you know.

A few minutes later, he comes over and says "Your son is really cute" and I say "Oh I'm just watching him for his momma" He goes "Oh" and then proceeds to give me his number, say he's in the Navy and can we have some coffee sometime.

I think "Nah ni**a you probably gay, married, or something worse. Why you in the park with a laptop during the middle of the day??Probably looking at kiddie porn or doing some DL crap on your Black wife who's in America and has no clue.And you wanna include me up in the ish. I KNOW YO GAME"

But I just said "sure" and then when we left the park, I threw the number in the trash. I know that may be wrong, but my friend said I have issues, cause he might have been a nice guy on his off day, came to the park to do homework for his job or degree or just writing a stroy. YEAH RIIGHT.

And it doesn't help that my friend is always telling me her husband "emotionally cheats" on myspace, flirts and stuff on her. I'm seriously beginning to think all men are up to something scandalous and the ones that aren't, must be gay, freaky, or into kids.

Maybe I need conseling...

Ok feel free to tear my post up.

You sound just like me.:lachen:
 
You did right, you are not ready and it's a good thing you know it. Take time for yourself without dating for a while, you still have some things to sort through...then look out males of Japan because you have shown to me through your posts you are a good person able to give and love wholly:yep:.
 
Unfortunately, I can totally feel where you are coming from, OP. :yep: I haven't been through half as much as you have been through in your past relationship, but I am also losing faith in men fast. :ohwell: Just ended a 4 year relationship with a man I just KNEW I was going to marry, only for it to crumble in my hands. Things went from perfect to down right miserable without an inkling of a warning. It's a tough thing to go through, so I know that you are really hurting in your situation. I honestly don't see how women/people can jump in and out of serious relationships without serious hurt/baggage or becoming more cautious in future relationships. Love is nothing to play with, and it's a hard thing to get over. That really makes me question whether a lot of people really know what it means to be in love....

I say take your time. Who says you have to jump in a relationship so soon?? If you aren't ready, then you aren't ready! I definitely don't plan on dating anytime soon (if ever).
 
The only problem I have is he should asked for your number or traded numbers. What kind of man gives a women his number lol

Good point! OP, don't worry about it, it's just one number from one man who for all we know could have been crazy or a jerk, we just don't know because he was just a stranger in the park. Please give yourself sometime to heal. By fall if you are still feeling paralyzed, very fearful, seek counseling. I think you are going to be okay in a few months though. You just need a break from men. Enjoy your blossoming career, enjoy your lovely life, and the fact that you are healthy and young and beautiful. You have so much time for men and romance. I wish you well, you have been through quite an ordeal. Most would be traumatized after such an experience.
 
That man probably gave her his number because if he had asked for an exchange he would have really gotten his feelings hurt. LOL
 
In defense of the OP, you have to know what happened to her--what she revealed in past threads to understand where she's coming from.

What she went through in her past relationship would test anyone's faith in a man.

I won't go into what happened, that's up to her, but as I stated in my earlier posts, if you know/knew her story, you'd see that her actions are justified. She is not over-reacting at all.


I suppose past actions can color your feelings but somethings are just over the top. Unless her past man was a gay pedophile, then sometimes you have to realize when you are being irrational and do something about the behavior.
 
I suppose past actions can color your feelings but somethings are just over the top. Unless her past man was a gay pedophile, then sometimes you have to realize when you are being irrational and do something about the behavior.

How is she being irrational? Given the propensity of people to cheat in general and the frequency of the occurrence it's actually quite rational to be cautious but not traumatized to the point of emotional handicap but I know that's not what we're saying here right?

...Anyway Yoko I totally feel you. There's nothing wrong with you. You were HURT in a major way. It's way too fresh right now and it's going to take a while to start to trust again. Also I personally think you were right to be cautious with the navy guy. I grew up around a naval base and I would never date a military guy unless I knew him exceptionally well. Maybe just coffee would have been ok though : ) Good luck sis
 
I suppose past actions can color your feelings but somethings are just over the top. Unless her past man was a gay pedophile, then sometimes you have to realize when you are being irrational and do something about the behavior.

Her feelings were not over the top. Like I posted before, you have to know the story, then you'll see where she's coming from.
 
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