I am actually OFFENDED when an ugly dudes "holla"

[dangerousvirgo2001]

"What would it take to be with a woman like that?"

I think all men should ask this question when trying to get a women that is out of reach. Maybe he would think twice!

 

[movado32k1]

Girl just take it as a compliment that you look good. Think about it this way; fine men have women them 24/7 so they dont really have to make too much of an effort. Men that are less than pleasing to the eye dont have women coming to them so they have to say to everyone they find attractive in hopes they will find someone. I personally get men who are broke down, old, wana be gangters who dont have two pennies to rub together trying to talk to me all the time. If they didnt try to talk to me I would be worried that I was not on point when I went out. Tell them thank you for the compliment and . Oh and to answer your question.

I have one question for you: Why is it that society has this double standard where, whenever a man does not find a woman attractive/up to par/his type, whatever, it's just "his tastes" or what he likes...but when a woman has high standards, and God forbid I want a man who looks good, I'm seen as "PICKY"?

"Eligable fine men far out number women soooo it is all about supply and demand." They are in demand and there is more than enough of a supply to women to choose from. Women unfortunatly cannot say the same.

 

[Tybi]

Not so much offended, I guess I should be "honored" that they find me attractive, even though I know that some of these guys holler at anything that moves. I just be polite and KIM, because you never know how someone might react to being turned down.

What kills me are the double standards that seem to be prevalent. I have had so many men pushed at me by family and friends that look a HAM to the core, yet no one can understand why I am not interested. I guess my feelings and desires need not be addressed, I am just a girl after all. It just infuriates me when I go out and see men that I personally find very attractive, men that make my heart beat fast and my mouth water, and yet seem to have men approach me that cause me to feel nothing in the slightest. I may as well be talking to a brick wall as far as the level of being turned on I get. I don't spend 4 days week in the gym, eating all these veggies and taking vitamins to look presentable to be with a guy that is 100 pounds overweight with missing teeth and bad skin. And no one seems to understand why I remain single, sorry but I cant force myself to be in a relationship with someone that I can't even imagine holding hands with let alone make love to.
ARRRGGGHH!

 

[metro_qt]

I think what it is, is that Fine looking men have more 'Finesse'... they know who to approach, and when...
They won't aproach anyone and everyone.. just those who truly meet THEIR standards...

The busted looking men approach EVERYONE with a numbers game mentality... "If i speak to everyone, someone will respond"

You'll often hear men reply to a woman who's turned him down "Well.. you're not even that good looking anyway!"

 

[Bene]

I wouldn't dare be so arrogant as to feel offended when a less then physically perfect man finds me attractive and tells me so. I take it as a compliment, that he actually found me to be a regular person and that he thought it wouldn't be the end of the world to approach, as in not thinking he's automatically going to get a nasty shoot down. I'm not into crushing egos, and I'm flattered that people don't assume that I am.

Then again, I'm no beauty queen. On the other hand, I have dealt with pretty boys and they really aren't any better than the not-quite-so-pretty. In some cases, I've found their personalities to be foul and ridiculous. Their approaches have been laden with an overabundance of confidence that I've found distasteful.


Also, I'm not into deciding that someone is "good enough" for me based on appearance.

 

[lwilliams1922]

I'm not as bothered if I don't find the person attractive. It's a matter of taste. He might not be my type but I TRY to be flattered that he was impressed with me.
The issue I have is the ghetto guy trying to holler or look at me with obvious x-ray vision look.

 

[Lovestyr]

Hmmm interesting standpoint. But,I'm going to agree with momma. The physical makeup of a man may look appealing but I personally care more about his ambitions, goals, and his ethics. You may have very well passed up a good catch by dismissing him because he didn't fit your criteria. Did you ever think that maybe these guys who you classify as ugly didn't think you were an a 8 or 9? And that's why they approached you. Its great to think highly of yourself but maybe you should reconsider your values. Just saying didn't mean to offend you, just my point of view

 

[hopeful]

I'm not as bothered if I don't find the person attractive. It's a matter of taste. He might not be my type but I TRY to be flattered that he was impressed with me.
The issue I have is the ghetto guy trying to holler or look at me with obvious x-ray vision look.

The bolded is how I look at it.

 

[LiftedUp]

I have 2 scenarios.

First, I have a friend who is way below average and short. He's looking for a tall beauty queen. I don't understand. He's never been in a relationship and he's been shot down so many times that I'm shocked he has the semblance of ego he currently has. I told him that he has to compensate otherwise but he said that he has nothing. I told him that he should work his way up to his ideal but he argued me down on that one. Some people complain that women should lower their standards then they'll get a "good man" but the men out there but the men are clearly not doing so.

Second, there is this classmate who doesn't come to class but hits me up for notes and wants to "group study" the night before exams. Now I've heard of good looking guys doing this. String the girl along to pass their classes. But um he's not good looking. Not even a little bit. Not even remotely. I feel insulted . I wondered if I look as though I have low self-esteem etc. Anyway, I told him point blank that our group studying will be fruitless.

So I can understand where you're coming from. I don't look that friendly/approachable so men who are approach are those who feel as they have little chance of being shot down.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I agree to an extent.

But with the bolded; men who say that after trying their hardest to talk to you is only saying that because their ego is bruised. Because, if you didn't look that good to them, they wouldn't be trying so hard. Don' let them fool you.

I think what it is, is that Fine looking men have more 'Finesse'... they know who to approach, and when...
They won't aproach anyone and everyone.. just those who truly meet THEIR standards...

The busted looking men approach EVERYONE with a numbers game mentality... "If i speak to everyone, someone will respond"

You'll often hear men reply to a woman who's turned him down "Well.. you're not even that good looking anyway!"[/QUOTE]

 

[Ayesha81]

I dated an ugly man once and he was the meanest man I have ever met in my life. He was rude and just plain ol mean. When I had enough of him I told him to be ugly and mean is a tragedy.

 

[TwoSnapsUp]

I have dated men who, when I first met them, I thought they were ugly. This was after getting to know them and thinking they were nice. So wrong. They all had the nerve to act as if they were prizes. Ninja please

 

[ryanshope]

Ugly men I think become callous because of SO much rejection---meh...

 

[Godyssey]

Well, ugly is relative. I wouldn't mind someone ugly hitting on me as long as he was put together and respectful. Not that I'd date him if I were single, but it wouldn't offend me because at least he's putting in effort and people cant control their genetic make up. Now, if he were a true bum with obviously nothing to offer, then I'd take offense.

 

[abcd09]

The only time it annoys me is when someone acts like you owe them a date or to flirt because they made it known that they like the way you look. Or when they persist even after you've said no, then try to say you're stuck up, as if you need to date every man who compliments you in order to be a nice girl.

One time a homeless man literally got mad at me, as if it made no sense to reject him I was polite but come on.

 

[DrC]

As long as they're presentable and polite, there will be a friendly response. It's the arrogant ones who feel they're entitled to know your name, number and pantie size, because Ray Ray and dem think contributing their improper approach is a gift to women, and we should be grateful for it. How dare we turn down a rude bum dude with 10 golds and no job who feels entitled to everything? How dare we!

 

[Britt]

As long as they're presentable and polite, there will be a friendly response. ! It's the arrogant ones who feel they're entitled to know your name, number and pantie size, because Ray Ray and dem think contributing their improper approach is a gift to women, and we should be grateful for it. How dare we turn down a rude bum dude with 10 golds and no job who feels entitled to everything? How dare we

This is what bothers me more than an ugly dude... a bum dude and the all the straight hood ni99as on the corner... And they have the nerve to get offended if you don't welcome their advances. I wonder what goes through the minds of some men. Why do they try to reach out to women outside their league? I don't get it ... at all. Their confidence is straight through the roof ! I was walking to the train the other day and this dude from around the way hurried up to walk up beside me (He's usually quite cordial) and proceeded to ask me to put a car in my name and he'll give me the money! I was soo livid, my knee jerk reaction woulda been to curse him out but at the momment I was in my head thinking good thoughts on my way to church . When I see him again, I'll let him know to never ask me no fu*** sh!t like that again

 

[DrC]

This is what bothers me more than an ugly dude... a bum dude and the all the straight hood ni99as on the corner... And they have the nerve to get offended if you don't welcome their advances. I wonder what goes through the minds of some men. Why do they try to reach out to women outside their league? I don't get it ... at all. Their confidence is straight through the roof ! I was walking to the train the other day and this dude from around the way hurried up to walk up beside me (He's usually quite cordial) and proceeded to ask me to put a car in my name and he'll give me the money! I was soo livid, my knee jerk reaction woulda been to curse him out but at the momment I was in my head thinking good thoughts on my way to church . When I see him again, I'll let him know to never ask me no fu*** sh!t like that again

Brittster


WHAT?!?!?! Ninjas asking for cars? WTF?

 

[Kindheart]

This is what bothers me more than an ugly dude... a bum dude and the all the straight hood ni99as on the corner... And they have the nerve to get offended if you don't welcome their advances. I wonder what goes through the minds of some men. Why do they try to reach out to women outside their league? I don't get it ... at all. Their confidence is straight through the roof ! I was walking to the train the other day and this dude from around the way hurried up to walk up beside me (He's usually quite cordial) and proceeded to ask me to put a car in my name and he'll give me the money! I was soo livid, my knee jerk reaction woulda been to curse him out but at the momment I was in my head thinking good thoughts on my way to church . When I see him again, I'll let him know to never ask me no fu*** sh!t like that again

Society brainwashed us to think that if we really want something we can have it ,just have to be confident . *roll eyes* I can't even think of how many unattractive people i know who think they re great catches and have ridiculously high standards . They think they re a 10 while they re a 3
Completely delusional.
A customer at work yesterday was like I m so sexy don't you think " in a serious tone . I looked at him . Looked away ,raised my eyebrows and walked off . Lol .

 

[Britt]

@Brittster
WHAT?!?!?! Ninjas asking for cars? WTF?

YES! He asked like it was nothing! I just kept walking and eventually he turned back away. It took me a second to process the foolishness he just blatatly asked me!