How well you are treated in a relationship..

[Kinkyhairlady]

Is determined by who your family is. I know this sounds stupid but I am starting to notice that a lot of men in the Haitian culture especially seem to go after women who’s family is well known in the community. I also notice these same men will not cross certain boundaries with these women in fear that the women’s family will come after him. I had this discussion with a cousin of mine who is married but claims he does not like the women, they have a child togheter and he cheats but refuses to leave her. I think he does not leave because the girls family has money and many of her uncles have large business in Haiti and here in the US. He dated a young girl before marrying this one and she was not well off but was trying to make it on her own but he never married her, though he said he loved her. I just think who your family is, really determines the type of men you will attract and who will stay with you. I would like to here everyone’s opinion on this because this is something I am noticing more and more.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I agree that a man feeling welcomed in your family as if he was "one of their own" makes a big difference in his loyal to the family (which you benefit from because not only will he not want to let you down, he wont want to let the family down either).

However, I dont think it will determine him staying with you. Men that go after women for their family obviously arent looking for a true life partner but a quick meal ticket. Eventually because he gets caught cheating or he gets the courage to do so, he will leave you.

A man knows what and who he wants. Its the women that captures his heart that will get and keep him. Often it has nothing to do with her money or family.

 

[dlewis]

I've heard my father say a many times, if you love the family it'll help you stay married to the woman. I believe that. Most times if you divorce the woman you divorce the family too.

I don't think how well you are treated is determined by your family. I believe how well you are treated are determined by your standards.

 

[MiamiHottie]

I dont get how she is being treated well? He's cheating and doesnt want to leave because of the connections.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

I dont get how she is being treated well? He's cheating and doesnt want to leave because of the connections.

I don't mention that she is treated well, cause I know he cheats but so does she. I think he stays more so to say he is associated with them. In my culture when talking about someone and who they married, folks always love to say oh the women or man they married came from such a place in Haiti, or their family is such and such. I guess it is some sort of accomplishment that you got to be down with a certain family.

I have another male cousin dating the president of Haiti's niece or cousin and I swear my family kisses her but like she sh** gold. I just don't get it.

 

[ThickHair]

Arrangements like that don't usually last.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Like dlewis said, it has little to do with how these women get treated. They get a husband by title but not in relation. These are loveless, convenient, business arrangements with a marriage license. These arrangements dont last very long.

I've heard my father say a many times, if you love the family it'll help you stay married to the woman. I believe that. Most times if you divorce the woman you divorce the family too.

I don't think how well you are treated is determined by your family. I believe how well you are treated are determined by your standards.

I don't mention that she is treated well, cause I know he cheats but so does she. I think he stays more so to say he is associated with them. In my culture when talking about someone and who they married, folks always love to say oh the women or man they married came from such a place in Haiti, or their family is such and such. I guess it is some sort of accomplishment that you got to be down with a certain family.

I have another male cousin dating the president of Haiti's niece or cousin and I swear my family kisses her but like she sh** gold. I just don't get it.

 

[Renewed1]

Like dlewis said, it has little to do with how these women get treated. They get a husband by title but not in relation. These are loveless, convenient, business arrangements with a marriage license. These arrangements dont last very long.

So true Prettyface. I had a middle-eastern friend and her first marriage was arranged, needless to say, she was only married for a year before she divorced him.

One day we were discussing arranged marriages and I made the comment similiar to yours. My friend response was, well at least the divorce rate is low with arranged marriages. Very weak argument, when you are talking about spending the rest of your life with someone.

 

[princessnad]

I think the OP has a point but it may be stronger depending on the culture.