Can You Handle Being Treated Well?

@Tolle if your end goal is a husband. Then lead yourself with your goals and nothing else. On your death bed you'll only have yourself to blame.

Too damn old for my own foolishness! lol

I'm 34 and have been single for 2 years now. (My ex hu was a doozy to my life :spinning:) I enjoy dating; it feels like a whole new world now that I have experienced my womanly "glow up". But the end game is a husband at some point sooo..
 
Too damn old for my own foolishness! lol

I'm 34 and have been single for 2 years now. (My ex hu was a doozy to my life :spinning:) I enjoy dating; it feels like a whole new world now that I have experienced my womanly "glow up". But the end game is a husband at some point sooo..

Do you! I personally would not be feeling bad about stringing someone along :nono:. It's not like he has professed his love or you are in a serious, exclusive relationship. You are dating and enjoying yourself. Have fun! IMO he is doing what he is supposed to do. Impress you! Why would you be super worried about his feelings at this point? You are the prize! Take your time and have fun. If this guy is spending a lot and does a lot that's fine but how he makes you feel matters also.

Some men do a lot early on to sweep you off your feet and rush you. Some are just like that. That may be his dating style with everyone. Or he may be smitten. Thing is you just don't know yet...so take your time and have fun. Get to know him and the other guys. And even if it turns out he's smitten, you may not be, and yo, that's okay too. You ain't got to like every dude that likes you. Do whatever you want to do. Shoot, by spring you may have a whole new roster. Do you! Look out for you and what's best for you. That's all that matters.
 
The quality of men that I am dating has improved beyond measure once I started living completely unapologetically. I am on a dating high right now.. I am juggling a few very eligible bachelors and having such a fun time. All of the guys I date are gentleman and ensure I have a good time and problem free life if they can help it. But this one guy is so intense with his desire to profess, protect, and provide that I had to stop and take stock.
I love this!
 
Thanks for the recs @sj10460 and @crlsweetie912.

I am excited about this weekend.

I am trying to truly decide if I truly like him VS liking the things he does for me... He keeps professing his desire for our future and buying me things; I have never had a problem accepting gifts but in all honesty it's starting to come off as a tad desperate. OR am I so not used to being treated well that it seems desperate. OR maybe a little bit of both..

Its hard to explain but I wonder if he does these things because he thinks I am special, or would any woman who gave him the time of day get the same treatment. I guess it shouldn't matter but for some reason it does. I'm hoping that this weekend gives me some clarity on my feelings.

I am dating 2 other guys pretty heavily and realize that I have more fun with them (They're a bit more ratchet :look:). But I know that fun does not equate to a healthy stable relationship. (Not a current goal of mine) One of them in particular is not as good of a catch(in terms of accomplishments and covering me) but I laughed until I cried and my belly ached on our date last night. On top of that, I know he can tell that someone else has been occupying my time and he has upped the ante a bit in his pursuit. He is taking me to Trinidad for Mardi Gras in February, so if nothing else at least ole dude has inspired some healthy competition.

I will be sure to let you guys know how my weekend goes. :woot:

Again, follow your instincts. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything.
 
Thanks for the recs @sj10460 and @crlsweetie912.
I am dating 2 other guys pretty heavily and realize that I have more fun with them (They're a bit more ratchet :look:). But I know that fun does not equate to a healthy stable relationship. (Not a current goal of mine) One of them in particular is not as good of a catch(in terms of accomplishments and covering me) but I laughed until I cried and my belly ached on our date last night. On top of that, I know he can tell that someone else has been occupying my time and he has upped the ante a bit in his pursuit. He is taking me to Trinidad for Mardi Gras in February, so if nothing else at least ole dude has inspired some healthy competition.
This is amazing. Most guys out here don't want to compete now a days. Take fully advantage.
 
Question- can you go without having tickets? I really want to go but when they mentioned the whole ticket situation, I was just like whatever and didn't look any more into it.

Starting Dec. 19, the National Museum of African American History and Culture will make free, same-day passes available online rather than requiring visitors to line up in person. The museum is also allowing a limited number of walk-up visitors after 1 p.m. on weekdays, crowds permitting.

The museum announced that advance timed passes for April will be distributed online and by phone beginning Jan. 4, while passes for May will be available starting Feb. 1. The passes are available by visiting nmaahc.si.edu or calling 866-297-4020.

Passes obtained online may be printed or displayed on smartphones.

The changes to the visitor policies come after some 600,000 guests have visited the museum since it opened Sept. 24.


Although the timed passes have successfully controlled crowds and wait times, they have not been fully used during the week, said Beverly Morgan-Welch, the museum’s associate director for external affairs.

About 40 percent of advance passes are being used on weekdays, and 60 percent on weekends. Officials say they wouldn’t want 100 percent usage, since early estimates for how many visitors could be accommodated were too high and did not predict the long length of stays.

Weekday attendance averages about 6,300, while weekends are closer to 8,500, according to the museum.

Entertainment Alerts

Big stories in the entertainment world as they break.

Perhaps the most important change is for group admissions. Starting Dec. 19, noncommercial groups of 10 or more guests can request passes up to a year in advance directly through the museum’s website.

The museum hopes the new policies will decrease the perception that there’s a scarcity of passes. Morgan-Welch said that in the frenzy to get passes, guests grabbed multiple passes for multiple days before knowing if they could actually use them. Distributing one month of free passes, rather than the three-month blocks used in August and October, should reduce the public’s impulse to grab more passes than needed.

Colder weather prompted the museum to shift the in-person line for same-day tickets to a virtual queue, Morgan-Welch said. Beginning next week, same-day passes will no longer be distributed outside the museum at 9:15 a.m. Instead, visitors may obtain passes for that day from the museum’s website, starting at 6:30 a.m. Only a limited number of same-day passes, and no walk-up passes, will be available on weekends, because more pass holders use their tickets on Saturdays and Sundays, she said.
 
No red flags. This dude is a straight up nice guy. The more I think about it.. guys who are too into me don't keep my attention long and he is perhaps just a bit too into me. BUT the stops he is laying out has put me in weird territory.

Im leaving to meet him for a date now. I'll update tonight.
I always dated guys completely smitten with me . You have to ask yourself why you don't feel you deserve a nice man who's into you
 
The weather could have been better but I had a ball. We did a bit of the tourist thing, shopped, grabbed a movie, partied, ate at some AWESOME restaurants and drank (a lot.. :look:).

I learned more about him and he really is a kind man. He is in a bit too deep for it to be so early on; he told me he loved me and was not going anywhere. I don't feel the same right now but I'm pretty sure that I can grow to love him. I have to slow him down because I am not ready to stop dating other guys just yet. But if he is consistent, I can see me being ready after this summer.:beach:


The 2nd runner up has been heavy on my mind so I hung out with him when I got back home. Always a great time..

The 3rd runner up is a little pissed as he wanted the Sunday evening slot but eh.
 
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Thanks for the pics. You are gorgeous and the hair is to die for! He has a nice smile. But you are doing the right thing:yep:. Move things at a pace you are comfortable with. He is not the last or the only guy who will wine and dine you and fall hard. I am happy that you are having so much fun. You deserve it.
 
Pic no. 7 was the first I opened and I got scared a little bit...thinking, "Oh dear G-d, tell me that ain't 50 Cent!" LOL. But anyhoo, give it a good 8 month to a year, the real him will come out. Keep your eyes open. Sometimes, being apart makes the heart grow fonder. If you don't feel you want to be serious, then don't. It's what YOU want. Whichever...if he's still around, he might be the one. Seems like a nice guy.
 
They ain't scare me @DarkJoy :lachen:

Last night was simply everything. This dude is official and I'm going to enjoy the ride.

I don't feel bad or that I am dragging him along because I am honest.

Dude straight up told me that his job is to make the others fade away through proving himself. He is definitely the stand out and I can see the others being left in the shadows if this keeps up.

Its not always the extravagant things either.

We talked about the types of books I like for my son and the next time we saw each other, he had 2 books that fit the description along with a gift card to Barnes and Nobles. (They have not met)

He had to go out of town for work but before he left he got me a car kit and "taught" me how to charge my car battery, put air in my tire, use the flashers, and some other stuff that Ill probably never do.. He also added me to his AAA because he wanted to be sure I would be ok if I had trouble while he was away.

I had to go out of town last week for work. While there, I complained about my flight times and wanting to come home; he text me his credit card info and told me to book an earlier flight to get home. (I did not)

I complained about my new phone being so large and hating the way it felt in my hand. He bought me an apple watch so I don't have to pull it out as often.

Just today, the most beautiful bouquet of flowers were delivered to my job, just because.

He ain't playing and I might just have to fall in line. :yep:

Well damn, where did you meet him... i'm asking for a friend :eyebrows2:
 
Welp! Crash and burn.. :lachen:

Dude turned out to be quite the douche bag but I'm still having a ball with this dating stuff.

It's a long story and I have a conference call in a few but Ill start.

When I first made this thread I had known him for 4 months but had only been heavily dating for about a month.

About a week after the DC trip, We were having a late night phone conversation where he asked if I was still dating other people. I told him that I was.. He said that he thought he had earned exclusivity by now and did not want to share anymore . I was sincere and shared that I understood that what I was offering was not enough and that he should feel free to call me when he wanted to hang out. When I woke the next morning, I saw that I had several missed calls and texts from him. He was apologizing and wanted me to know that he just let his feelings take over but wanted to stay the course.

Me: Ok cool..

A few days later, Im at his house watching a documentary and he tells me he has a surprise for me. He gives me gift box with three compartments inside. The first one had a small rubber globe, the next had a key with a heart on it, and the last had a bank card in it. He got all mushy on me and said that he wanted me to know how serious he was about me despite my caution. He knew that I was his wife and would be patient until I realized that he was my husband. The globe was his way of showing me he wanted to give me the world.. The key was to his house and he wanted me to have access at all times.. The bank card was attached to his checking account; he said whats his is mine from this point until forever. Sweet right? :rolleyes:

Now I'm feeling like "Damn Tolle! What more does he have to do?? This dude is your husband!! Let your guard down! Give him sum aszz! Cut them other dudes off!!"

Then BAM BAM BAM. Someone is downstairs banging on his back door. Gotta get on my call. Will be sure to update tonight.
 
Welp! Crash and burn.. :lachen:

Dude turned out to be quite the douche bag but I'm still having a ball with this dating stuff.

It's a long story and I have a conference call in a few but Ill start.

When I first made this thread I had known him for 4 months but had only been heavily dating for about a month.

About a week after the DC trip, We were having a late night phone conversation where he asked if I was still dating other people. I told him that I was.. He said that he thought he had earned exclusivity by now and did not want to share anymore . I was sincere and shared that I understood that what I was offering was not enough and that he should feel free to call me when he wanted to hang out. When I woke the next morning, I saw that I had several missed calls and texts from him. He was apologizing and wanted me to know that he just let his feelings take over but wanted to stay the course.

Me: Ok cool..

A few days later, Im at his house watching a documentary and he tells me he has a surprise for me. He gives me gift box with three compartments inside. The first one had a small rubber globe, the next had a key with a heart on it, and the last had a bank card in it. He got all mushy on me and said that he wanted me to know how serious he was about me despite my caution. He knew that I was his wife and would be patient until I realized that he was my husband. The globe was his way of showing me he wanted to give me the world.. The key was to his house and he wanted me to have access at all times.. The bank card was attached to his checking account; he said whats his is mine from this point until forever. Sweet right? :rolleyes:

Now I'm feeling like "Damn Tolle! What more does he have to do?? This dude is your husband!! Let your guard down! Give him sum aszz! Cut them other dudes off!!"

Then BAM BAM BAM. Someone is downstairs banging on his back door. Gotta get on my call. Will be sure to update tonight.
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Waiting patiently ...
Can't wait to hear what comes next. That hot and heavy super pushy mess usually crashes and burns. Men who lead with money and buying you a little too much are not generous, they are trying to buy you and are usually hiding something. So glad you held out on him and have others still in rotation. That's how you do it:yep:.
 
Welp! Crash and burn.. :lachen:

Dude turned out to be quite the douche bag but I'm still having a ball with this dating stuff.

It's a long story and I have a conference call in a few but Ill start.

When I first made this thread I had known him for 4 months but had only been heavily dating for about a month.

About a week after the DC trip, We were having a late night phone conversation where he asked if I was still dating other people. I told him that I was.. He said that he thought he had earned exclusivity by now and did not want to share anymore . I was sincere and shared that I understood that what I was offering was not enough and that he should feel free to call me when he wanted to hang out. When I woke the next morning, I saw that I had several missed calls and texts from him. He was apologizing and wanted me to know that he just let his feelings take over but wanted to stay the course.

Me: Ok cool..

A few days later, Im at his house watching a documentary and he tells me he has a surprise for me. He gives me gift box with three compartments inside. The first one had a small rubber globe, the next had a key with a heart on it, and the last had a bank card in it. He got all mushy on me and said that he wanted me to know how serious he was about me despite my caution. He knew that I was his wife and would be patient until I realized that he was my husband. The globe was his way of showing me he wanted to give me the world.. The key was to his house and he wanted me to have access at all times.. The bank card was attached to his checking account; he said whats his is mine from this point until forever. Sweet right? :rolleyes:

Now I'm feeling like "Damn Tolle! What more does he have to do?? This dude is your husband!! Let your guard down! Give him sum aszz! Cut them other dudes off!!"

Then BAM BAM BAM. Someone is downstairs banging on his back door. Gotta get on my call. Will be sure to update tonight.

Damn, so he was a typical lying dude. I'm sorry. But at least you have 2 more in rotation.

Not to say you are open to it, but a friend married a guy who had a similar situation. He dated my friend while living with another woman. That ended and he dated someone else (not my friend) and she ended up having to duck out the back door when the newest girlfriend came over unexpectedly. That ended. They've been married for about 10 years and have 3 kids.
 
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Ok y'all. So normally banging at a mans back door would send my brain a signal that it is a woman. But this dude was running game so hard that I didn't think that was the case..

I continued watching while he went down to check. (I honestly thought it was his nephew who had stopped by earlier) I hard commotion, looked out the window and saw a woman GOING OFF. I put my shoes on to leave but hesitated at the door because I wasn't sure if walking out into the drama was the best thing to do.

I went outside and she was crying and yelling "you in there with her" "you said you loved me". I'm getting in the car she's trying to talk to me, he's begging me to stay .. I'm like look just unblock my car, I don't have anything to do with this. He is now telling her that she ruined the best thing that ever happened to him which makes her even more emotional. I'm in my car about to call the police but she got in her car to unblock me and I left.

I left in shock and I don't think it wore off until I reached home 20 minutes later. He called and called. And called.. I didn't answer.

The next day my office looked like a funeral home (no exaggeration) with all the flowers he sent. After a few days I talked to him, he gave me his bs excuse because of course that was some crazy chic :rolleyes:he briefly dated.

I made up my mind that I would use him for a couple more big ticket items and ghost his azzzz.

Long story (short as possible anyway). I caught him in a few more lil lies but didn't mention it because I didn't really care.

Geez, there's more to this and a grand finale but Mardi Gras boo just got here. I'll be sure to finish when I get back in

BTW Y'all ladies rock.
 
I knew something was wrong with him from the get go! I didn't wanna say anything because I didn't wanna burst OP's bubble in case I was wrong. Usually when a woman asks the questions OP was asking it's usually because she senses something is off but she can't put her finger on it. I've been there myself many times so I know the feeling well. If he sounds too good to be true, he usually is. OP, I don't think you can't handle being treated well. I think your BS radar was on high alert the whole time which is why you couldn't relax around him. As women, we really need to trust our instincts more. :yep: That said, I can't wait to hear the dramatic conclusion to this story! :pop:
 
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