barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Before I say all this, I think we are on the same page with deal breakers. Everyone should have them. Mine happens to be fidelity, drugs, domineering, and no moral compass (and that's for me to determine because everyone has their own ideas on this and the guy I'm marrying has to be equally yoked).
Someone else may be okay with drugs, etc. But I will say this...if they are not, they should not resolve themselves to expecting that.
I am not selling exceptions. These are the types of guys I know. Maybe I'm a heck of a filter with abstinence. It's possible that the other guys don't bother me at all or waste my time. Same thing with education, they know when I open my mouth that I'm educated and have an opinion so that filters out guys who want you to sit and look pretty. But then I have to filter out other guys who prey on that or have a belief about the type of woman you are if you are abstinent till marriage (and that's another deal in and of itself).
As for no man is perfect that is definitely true but things like fidelity and drugs are character flaws that I don't accept. No person is perfect. What one person thinks is cute another thinks is annoying.
Everything is a trade off...when you chose one guy to marry, you are saying no to every other guy, when you choose one option in life or career others close. Then there are things like religion, etc. But I do think it's important to know your deal breakers and not make the assumption that you can't get a guy like you want.
But yes you will have to assess the environment. Some areas and states, guys marry earlier than others. Some areas you will have to accept an age difference, etc etc depending on the pool of men (all things I learned working with a matchmaker) but to me things like heavy drug use should not be on the list. But hey, that's me to each their own.
gotcha. I agree with all of this.