neenzmj
New Member
I have a friend who has experienced a 10-year dating drought. For the most part, she seems to be ok with it, but as is to be expected, she does periodically experience some frustration. I’ve offered her some very practical suggestions based on my past experience and she assures me that she does SOME of these things OUTSIDE the office. (Yeah, I know… what happens when a guy might check you out AT the office and you’re looking busted?)
Anyway, I asked my most trusted source (hubby) and here were his top three responses of how NOT to attract a man. I was surprised by number 1 on the list.
1. Closed Body Language
Body language speaks volumes. Even though your mind may be saying, “I’m interested,” your body language may be saying “don’t come within 10 feet of me.” A smile can go a long way in catching a man’s eye and if you’re an arm-crosser (a very closed, unapproachable posture), it might be helpful to find something different to do with them.
2. Bad Appearance
Like it or not, men are very visual creatures – that’s the reality. My friend came to work yesterday with a shapeless, velour button-down top, a pair of shapeless pants and a pair of cream, low-heeled shoes -- in December! (no, they weren’t the least bit cute!) In addition to that, she just got a busted weave (by her own admission). Her appearance screamed, I’ve given up – I don’t care. Guess what? That’s the message that a man will pick up. I’m not suggesting that we have to spend hours trying to look like we’re heading out onto the red carpet, but we should at least make an effort to look as though we didn’t pick our outfits in the dark. Being on LHFC, I am contantly amazed at the creativity of African American women. There are WAY too many options out there for us to ever leave the house looking crazy about the head (hats, half wigs, full wigs, scarves, headbands.) We are masters at the hair cover-up game!
3. Becoming Boxed In
Sometimes it's necessary to branch out from the usual haunts and explore some new locations to meet people. The chances of meeting someone new are minimized if you’re stuck in a cycle of the places you frequent. My friend’s example: work, home, church, family’s house.
It would be nice if there was a 1-2-3 solution to attracting, getting and keeping a man, but unfortunately there is no formula. However, I do feel confident that the items listed above are some of the top ways NOT to attract a man. What do you ladies think?
Anyway, I asked my most trusted source (hubby) and here were his top three responses of how NOT to attract a man. I was surprised by number 1 on the list.
1. Closed Body Language
Body language speaks volumes. Even though your mind may be saying, “I’m interested,” your body language may be saying “don’t come within 10 feet of me.” A smile can go a long way in catching a man’s eye and if you’re an arm-crosser (a very closed, unapproachable posture), it might be helpful to find something different to do with them.
2. Bad Appearance
Like it or not, men are very visual creatures – that’s the reality. My friend came to work yesterday with a shapeless, velour button-down top, a pair of shapeless pants and a pair of cream, low-heeled shoes -- in December! (no, they weren’t the least bit cute!) In addition to that, she just got a busted weave (by her own admission). Her appearance screamed, I’ve given up – I don’t care. Guess what? That’s the message that a man will pick up. I’m not suggesting that we have to spend hours trying to look like we’re heading out onto the red carpet, but we should at least make an effort to look as though we didn’t pick our outfits in the dark. Being on LHFC, I am contantly amazed at the creativity of African American women. There are WAY too many options out there for us to ever leave the house looking crazy about the head (hats, half wigs, full wigs, scarves, headbands.) We are masters at the hair cover-up game!
3. Becoming Boxed In
Sometimes it's necessary to branch out from the usual haunts and explore some new locations to meet people. The chances of meeting someone new are minimized if you’re stuck in a cycle of the places you frequent. My friend’s example: work, home, church, family’s house.
It would be nice if there was a 1-2-3 solution to attracting, getting and keeping a man, but unfortunately there is no formula. However, I do feel confident that the items listed above are some of the top ways NOT to attract a man. What do you ladies think?
to 
To add to this: Even if your mind is saying it's interested, if your heart of hearts is saying "I'm not interested", your true feelings will come across in your body language no matter how hard you try to hide it.
Right! I totally agree. When I see women (especially us) looking torn up and depressed (I ride the subway to work every morning and see some stuff 
So, I REALLY have to work HARD to look "cute" when it's cold outside. In the summer it's easy, in the winter...ummm not so much. 
