How to spot a NARCISSIST and why you attract them!

[hopeful]

Thanks for sharing @ChasingBliss. Keep us updated on how you are doing.

 

[Evolving78]

Yes, Sam Vaknin. I have and read his book many years ago ..cover to cover ...Malignant Self Love, Narcissism Revisited. I'm pretty sure I shared that here some time ago.

I am overall loving how Narcissism awareness is spreading. Although I dont have any platform, I do my best to share what I know to as many as possible.


If you dont mind, can you share who the 2 psychologists are? I love listening to new people.

Ross Rosenberg and Vital Mind Psychology. Finding out “my why” for getting caught up in a vicious cycle, and the attraction of it all really helping me to make changes in my life. I was raised by a diagnosed narcissistic parent. It is truly a long recovery process, especially not being able to go completely no contact.
I am also looking into how neurological disorders mimic narcissistic tendencies. Awareness is spreading, but a lot of folks self diagnosis people from just reading an article. A lack of empathy, immaturity, etc could be a symptom for anything.

 

[OneShinyface]

Just popping in here to say that if you are in a marriage with a narcissist ....and you want to be happy. GET OUT! The older they get the worse they get.

You are SO RIGHT! Was married to one for 26 years. I thought I was the one who was crazy. Once I got out, it was like I had been living in a cave without sunlight and finally making my way out to bask in the sunshine.

 

[ChasingBliss]

You are SO RIGHT! Was married to one for 26 years. I thought I was the one who was crazy. Once I got out, it was like I had been living in a cave without sunlight and finally making my way out to bask in the sunshine.

I read posts all over the internet and I get flashbacks of so much. Things I thought didn't bother me and they did so very much. I was thinking today that even when things were supposedly ok, I was always in a state of pretending I was fine when I was terribly unhappy because I felt like I could not be myself without a fight. Being my unique SELF, the self that most people loved. I just numbed myself out and thought well it is what it is.

Also the presence. Every time he was around me, the air got thicker...my spirit began screaming at me that it was time to LET GO.

 

[hopeful]

You are SO RIGHT! Was married to one for 26 years. I thought I was the one who was crazy. Once I got out, it was like I had been living in a cave without sunlight and finally making my way out to bask in the sunshine.

Married to one nearly 29 years. So glad we both got out. It feels so good to be free. The real world is so much better than the fairytale. My therapist recently suggested I read Full Catastrophe Living. The full catastrophe on any given day is better than the fairytale. I’m learning to accept all that life offers, including the sadness and ambiguity, including that I am fully responsible for me, because the real nightmare is the fairytale and Prince Charming. Now the sky is bluer and my life is mine.

 

[PrissiSippi]

One of my rotational daters was a compulsive narc. Everyday was a blatant gas-lighter. So happy for this thread and people that point it out.

1. They tell blatant lies.
He told me I don't bring anything to his life. He asked me what do I do for him besides cook for him. (Bruh I must give you something...you're here aren't you.)

2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof.
He told me he would get my nails done and then said he never said it and said I was trying to manipulate him.

3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.
He told me I'm a job to be around. He told me I would be a great person BUT xyz....

4. They wear you down over time.
He started off buying groceries for my house. Then stopped buying them but kept eating all my food at my house.

5. Their actions do not match their words.
He texted and told me I was the girl he prayed to God for. But then he refused to put a title on things or let me meet his family.

 

[sunnieb]

Not sure if this has already been posted. The video is a bit long but very enlightening.

I'm so glad this video was still available!

I'm reading through each post and just nodding my head. I plan to share my story too, but wanted to repost this vid.

She really gets it.

 

[Evolving78]

I'm so glad this video was still available!

I'm reading through each post and just nodding my head. I plan to share my story too, but wanted to repost this vid.

She really gets it.

Check out Darlene Lancer. She really hits home when it comes to narcissism and codependency.