How may times in your life have you met that PERFECT GUY?

[melissa-bee]

How many times in your life have you met that PERFECT GUY?

Where he is just everything you could want in a man. Somebody that just ticks all your boxes and you just hit it off straight away.


I'm 22 and I for the first time I have met that perfect guy. I hung out with him for a day. And he is just everything. However there are 1 small, 1 medium and 1 large reason we cannot carry on the way we both wanted.
The small one is that he is not talking to me. If it was only that 1 reason I would have pushed my self to make up with him because it’s a minor issue IMO. However the large reason is that he is already seeing someone which he didn't want me too know, but I went and "nosy nosed" on his public Facebook profile that he is in fact in a relationship (also has his SOs name tagged in the status. This is the reason he is not talking to me.

So the reason why I ask this question is because I'm wondering how often this "perfect guy" comes around for the average lady in a life time.
I've been dating for about 7 years and this is my FIRST "perfect guy".

I know there are a lot of experienced ladies on this forum when it comes to relationships, so because I’m 22 you may think I’m just being naïve like a teenager in love. I was going to write a short paragraph on MY “perfect guy”… but it won’t be a short paragraph. I guess I can write loads of bullet points if a few show interest.

So the question I’m asking YOU is, have you met this “perfect guy” before, how many times in your life, what is/was your relationship, if you didn’t get to know him did you regret is because you haven’t found someone since????

 

[Kindheart]

I dont understand what makes him perfect when :
1)he doesnt talk to you/ignores you.
2)Has an official GF .
3)Went out with you when He has a gf ,that alone is a huge red flag as it means he doesnt respect his partner and potentially a cheater.

I wish i could say something posivitive but he sounds like someone you should avoid rather than run after.
To answer your question I dont believe in perfection ,I ve met guys that seemed perfect and found out later on that they werent or lied about ALOT of things such as wives<kids around the country etc.
My hubby was perfect when I met him then later on as we started sharing our lives together i found out he wasnt flawless as i thought,he s a human after all ,and so am I ,we have arguments about silly things sometimes but we still love each other without being Perfect ,or perhaps we re perfect for one another with our imperfections

 

[melissa-bee]

I dont understand what makes him perfect when :
1)he doesnt talk to you/ignores you.
2)Has an official GF .
3)Went out with you when He has a gf ,that alone is a huge red flag as it means he doesnt respect his partner and potentially a cheater.

I wish i could say something posivitive but he sounds like someone you should avoid rather than run after.

I'm not trying to defend him.
1) He's ignoring me because of something i done.
2) I know
3) I know, but it wasn't really a date. I met him on holiday then when we got back to London I just returned something to him and we ended up chilling out.

I didn't really want to write this story out, because I knew people would end up commenting on the situation which i can only be brief about. I just want to know how often you have met that guy???


And when i say perfect I don't mean something lifted out of a daydream...kind of like realistic perfect including the flaws.

 

[Ladybelle]

the sooner you learn this the better: there is no such thing as the PERFECT guy. they all have flaws of some sort. we as women choose which flaws we can tolerate/deal with and/or accept.

good luck!

 

[melissa-bee]

the sooner you learn this the better: there is no such thing as the PERFECT guy. they all have flaws of some sort. we as women choose which flaws we can tolerate/deal with and/or accept.

good luck!

I already understand this.

 

[diadall]

I voted other because I hope to marry him.

 

[Ladybelle]

I already understand this.

So the reason why I ask this question is because I'm wondering how often this "perfect guy" comes around for the average lady in a life time.
I've been dating for about 7 years and this is my FIRST "perfect guy".

oh, i guess i misunderstood the question then. like i said before- good luck and i wish u the best!

 

[mz tracy 25]

I haven't met him yet

 

[kittikat24]

Yeah, I've met a really nice/spiritual/husband material guy
The only thing is that I haven't talked to him (too intimidated!), only observed him. *sigh*
Guys like him are one in a million I tell ya...

 

[JustKiya]

Never met him.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I think I understand. I've only met two men in my life that made me think about getting married or having babies. Neither one was perfect but they moved me in ways that I can't explain. (Not talking about sex)

For me, I met the second guy 5 to 7 years after the end of the relationship with the first guy. I dated other guys in between but it wasn't the same. Hopefully it won't be that long before I meet the next one.

 

[lea86111]

yeah i think you mean a guy who's "perfect" for you, a guy you just click with on a mental level...i only met one i thought was like that once. I'm 23 and when i met him i was a young'n but we are currently acquaintances (i chose associate cause it's the closest to it, i think an acquantance is a notch lower than an associate, like we say hi n talk when we see each other but we don't make plans to hang nor we're friends) anyways, i just loooooovvvveeedddd being around him @ the time, i felt i could be ME and he was just all i wanted! Lol foolish me...i dunno if he was "acting" but to make a long (and i do mean long) story short we ain't together (never really were), he's with somebody else right now. I'm over it (took a long time). I'm waiting for somebody who'll make me feel the same way he did

 

[lolascurls]

I think I understand what you're asking OP.
Meeting that guuy that makes you start thinking down that line because:
1) You click mentally
2) You click emotionally
3) You feel like a better person when you're with them
4) They kinda jolt you out of your complacency/ disinterest in relationships.

I've met a guy like this once so far. Last year, I had just turned 25 then and I would call him an associate. We haven't yet made any plans to hang out but I'm working on it. Our differing work patterns have kinda meant we haven't been in the same area together for 8-9 months. But we strike up conversation really easily again and it makes me wonder....
At 23, I thought I'd met a nice guy who made me question whether I would end my self-imposed relationship hiatus (I was just finishing my post-grad then), but I realised after a bit more interaction, that was a
I hope I do get to progress with the first guy because he's a real gentleman, well brought up, intelligent and funny. I don't have to feel I'm carrying the conversation, or even feel too nervous around him :sigh:

 

[melissa-bee]

Thank you to the last few posters who actually understand what i mean.
Didn't mean perfect literally. Sometimes it's hard to put in to words.
I understand there is no universal perfect guy. Perfect means different things to different people including flaws.

 

[Maracujá]

We did not get to know each other better, I believe because he had a gf at the time. Now I met someone else that would be perfect for me (esp. in the looks department) but he has some flaws that could be considered red flags.

 

[lolascurls]

A friend of mine is currently with her ideal guy! When she first met him, he had a girlfriend so she only was friends with him. She confessed that she felt there was a mutual attraction, but he was always careful to make sure he didn't spend so much time with her to annoy his girlfriend. She backed off and then dated another guy. She wasn't as into this new guy, but he was so kind, gentlemanly and sweet that she ended up liking him. Sadly, he broke things off when things started feeling "too serious" for him.
Understandably, my friend was shaken. A few months later, she bumps into her ideal guy again, but he is now single and makes a very obvious play for her. She was thrilled to say the least. They've been dating steady and strong for the past 2 years now! (I hear wedding bells, lol!)
The point of the story was, whilst dating the guy inbetween, my friend fell for that guy and was starting to think about marriage and saying things like, "I know I said I don't want to have my own children but, he would be such a great father. I couldn't deny him that!" I feel that relationship, made her more ready for her ideal guy when they finally got together. She's now more open-minded on such topics as a result!

 

[LilMissRed]

I voted OTHER... Im not a believer in a PERFECT guy or woman. I think we ALL have flaws... it just depends on who's willing to accept u.. flaws and all *shrugs*

 

[Bublin]

I think I understand what you're asking OP.
Meeting that guuy that makes you start thinking down that line because:
1) You click mentally
2) You click emotionally
3) You feel like a better person when you're with them
4) They kinda jolt you out of your complacency/ disinterest in relationships.QUOTE]

I'm a little disillusioned at the moment (i'm fresh out of relationship with a Narcissist!)

Most of these qualities you see in a guy during the first few months of a relationship.....then true colours start to show and you realise they are not so perfect.

I'm coming from a specific point of view and have met men in the past whom fit all 4 critereon and then i realise it was all a bunch of acting.

But to answer your question (as i do know where you are coming from) is, yes, i have met 2 guys. Turns out one tried to con me out of £1000's after he asked me to marry him. I accepted but felt it was all wrong but went with the flow cus he asked me infront of all his family. Later i found out he was in debt up to his eye balls and was about to lose him home. His family adored me and couldn't wait for us to get married. Now i know why - his sister even whispered to me asking how the hell i put up with him. - lol. I ran.

Guy No.2 turned out to be a Narcissist and nearly turned me freaking mental. Of course when we first met he was THE perfect guy. Little did i know what he had in store for me.

When i get back onto the dating scene. I will not be 'looking' for the perfect guy. Just someone whom is sincere, honest, kind and genuine but not someone whom appears 'too good to be true'...cus it won't be true.

 

[tash85]

I have a guy friend who is Perfect for me, with a capital P. We've spoken multiple times a week for the last 2/3 years but I don't feel like a relationship is what he really wants

Its disappointing for me, because this is the kind of guy I know I would have a brilliant relationship with, but he truly is an amazing friend so I'm still happy.

 

[Britt]

When I find the perfect guy for "me" we'll get married.

 

[Neek-a-Nator]

Melissa-Bee, I TOTALLY get what you are saying. I met that guy when I was 31 and he was PERFECT for me until the end which lasted 2 years. I'm 34 soon to be 35 and haven't come CLOSE to meeting anyone like that again, it scares me cause since I had the pleasure of experiencing a relationship like that I CAN NOT settle for less. It's hard to explain because it's the intangible that "perfect person" was able to leave you with.

 

[Anacaona]

Sigh... I met the "perfect man" a couple of weeks ago and I had WEEKS, WEEEEKS to make a move and of course like a frickin idiot, I let him slip away and now I can't find him and I don't know if I'll ever see him again.

I mean the man is absolutely brilliant, attentive, polite, funny, and positive. I mean I've never met anyone like him before but because our environment of interaction wasn't really conducive to relationship building, and my own stubborn reluctance to open up and just take a chance, I have once again lost my chances on a genuinely AMAZING man. And it's not like this was a one sided attraction, he did try several times to initiate conversation with me, but there was only so much he could do in our setting.

I've been sulking for the past couple of days and I guess eventually get over it but of all the men I let get away, this one stung in particular.

 

[Dposh167]

i'm still dating him now actually. just celebrated 1 yr

 

[lea86111]

man, it must feel wonderful to be with someone you think is perfect for you even better to be married to them. Some lucky ladies on here

 

[Imani]

OP, i understood what you were asking from the beginning.

Hmm, I'ma go with never.

There were two that I THOUGHT were the perfect guys for me, but I think they were more so a reflection of what I thought I needed or wanted in my life at that particular point in time. Also, they were both lacking in the same thing, which was that the physical attraction wasn't really there, which I'm beginning to realize is important. You ain't gotta be Idris Elba, but I need to have some type of attraction to you.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

yes and it was amazing. it was the best relationship and the happiest i ever was. sadly, it did not last. we just didn't meet each other at the right time in our lives. ♥

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Never met him.

 

[straightlovely]

Re: How many times in your life have you met that PERFECT GUY?

I've only met him once. We are together now and I hope to marry him. This is the only person I've met where I've really been able to say he has everything I am looking for. Of course with flaws..but one's I don't mind dealing with.

 

[goldielocs]

I have met 2 guys who were perfect for me. I was fortunate to date one for 3 years and marry the other. I would have married the first one, but he passed away while we were dating- car accident.

 

[Hairsofab]

I met one, once. I thought he was perfect. He was close to perfect. But he wasn't interested in me.