Layluh
Well-Known Member
Chew the meat. Spit the bones
How Has Not Being A Heaux Benefitted You? And Vice Versa
- Thread starter Layluh
- Start date
I just read the entire book yesterday. The author never said to lie about rape. But he did insinuate that real molestation and rape experiences are some tools some women use to garner sympathy from the man without having to be expected to put out. It hooks him emotionally and he is less pushy about expecting sex immediately, he also sees the woman through a softer lense.
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
i see. thanks for explaining. i feel better about reading the book now. i do know some men that believe a majority of women lie about being molested.
So I went to look for the passage that reviewer critiqued. The section was sex = trauma. The author did not say to lie and claim false rape, but use a similarily tramatic experience as a tool.
But you may interpret what he says differently.
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
makes sense. it is emotional manipulation and with guys you do have to use that to get what you want.
This is so true.
PretteePlease
#fakeworkouts
For me I don't think the question is how has being a heaux helped or hurt it is about being selfish and calculating.
Not being selfish and calculating has hurt me emotionally and financially. When you give your all to a man and don't
see it come back that is a kind of betrayal. When you continue to give your all to one person after another thinking
that that will bring you what you want/need that is crazy.
I wish i had been a more SELFISH CALCULATING BUSINESS MINDED PERSON. I wish I could have been a
mental heaux. I wish I could have sold dreams. If I could go back I would be the biggest self centered take no prisoners
type laser focused type person.
I wish i could have slept with Lambo. I could be flying around in my PJs on the PJ but no i wanted an emotional attraction
I'm a be a calculating move on purpose selfish person #HEAUXLIFE
Not being selfish and calculating has hurt me emotionally and financially. When you give your all to a man and don't
see it come back that is a kind of betrayal. When you continue to give your all to one person after another thinking
that that will bring you what you want/need that is crazy.
I wish i had been a more SELFISH CALCULATING BUSINESS MINDED PERSON. I wish I could have been a
mental heaux. I wish I could have sold dreams. If I could go back I would be the biggest self centered take no prisoners
type laser focused type person.
I wish i could have slept with Lambo. I could be flying around in my PJs on the PJ but no i wanted an emotional attraction
I'm a be a calculating move on purpose selfish person #HEAUXLIFE
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Yes! @PretteePlease 
. I think the black community encourages black women to be nice, hold onto hope, and pray ... and kinda stops there. Having critical thinking skills is very important. Being encouraged to be happy and self-focused. Encouraged to drop people who are a drain, don't reciprocate, be it a friend, lover, relative, whatever. But instead we are shamed for walking away from that bottomless pit that keeps taking, told to be nice, keep trying, hang in there 
. We deserve to be happy and we will only get that happiness by investing in people and things that reciprocate and rewards us, love us back. We have to be calculating, think outside the box, and make good, smart choices, course correct as needed, and keep our needs front and center.
. I think the black community encourages black women to be nice, hold onto hope, and pray ... and kinda stops there. Having critical thinking skills is very important. Being encouraged to be happy and self-focused. Encouraged to drop people who are a drain, don't reciprocate, be it a friend, lover, relative, whatever. But instead we are shamed for walking away from that bottomless pit that keeps taking, told to be nice, keep trying, hang in there . We deserve to be happy and we will only get that happiness by investing in people and things that reciprocate and rewards us, love us back. We have to be calculating, think outside the box, and make good, smart choices, course correct as needed, and keep our needs front and center.
quirkydimples
Well-Known Member
@barbiesocialite I want a copy, too. 
quirkydimples
Well-Known Member
Whoops. You're rightOk...if yall want a copy of the book, just PM her like I did! We do not need a whole tread of "Send me the book too" messages. I loooooove rachet reading so "Ho Tactics" it is for me this month.
Now back to the topic at hand...
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Ok everyone, I found you need the book you have to send me a pm with your email. It's inconsiderate for me to derail the thread
UniquelyDivine
Well-Known Member
What do you mean by a mental heaux? I'm intrigued
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Yes! @PretteePlease
I agree with this.
People try to shame me all of the time for being self-absorbed but I'm really not nearly as selfish as I think I should be. It's like if you think your time is too valuable and you're too good to deal with other people's crap and baggage people act as if your a bad person will never attract anyone. Thats total bs. The most selfish self-motivated women are the most likely to get what they want, IME.
Even for me, sometimes it's hard to separate others opinions of you from your own opinion of you. Sometimes it's hard to not care what people think . But alas, you cant control anyone but yourself. People will always think what they want anyway regardless of how good/great/nice/considerate you may try to be.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
@barbiesocialite
And for most of us being selfish has to be a goal because by default most women, especially black women, are too nice, giving, self-sacrificing. Our best version of selfish and self-focused likely doesn't come close to the average man. And the shaming thing is crazy because most of us don't want to hurt anyone, we just want to focus on ourselves and be happy. Like why you mad about that? It's stupid. People are so threatened by women who choose themselves, love themselves, fight for themselves. Society is hell-bent on black women losing, being at the bottom of the heap. Many of us are now saying nope
, not how I'm going to live.
And for most of us being selfish has to be a goal because by default most women, especially black women, are too nice, giving, self-sacrificing. Our best version of selfish and self-focused likely doesn't come close to the average man. And the shaming thing is crazy because most of us don't want to hurt anyone, we just want to focus on ourselves and be happy. Like why you mad about that? It's stupid. People are so threatened by women who choose themselves, love themselves, fight for themselves. Society is hell-bent on black women losing, being at the bottom of the heap. Many of us are now saying nope
, not how I'm going to live.FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
@barbiesocialite is right, my friend that married VERY well is the most selfish and unapologetic woman that I know and she wouldn't even gel well with this board.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Makes sense to me.
I think this is why most of my girlfriends that I know outside of LHCF never do well the few times I've invited them to the board. They are not about saving black people from themselves they are about helping themselves and being the best at it.
Layluh
Well-Known Member
That's funny. Australian dude told me how it's not selfish people but rather the compassionate, wanna save the world people are the ones you actually have to watch out for.
I definitely gotta watch out for these wanna save the BM, black community and everybody but BW type people. I've already been there done that and it's wack and depressing.
I definitely gotta watch out for these wanna save the BM, black community and everybody but BW type people. I've already been there done that and it's wack and depressing.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
I believe this too.
I dont trust do-gooders and kiss arses. I would never be friend one. I think humans are innately selfish (i.e. babies are born parasites). I find something insincere about people who worry about everyone else but themselves.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
It's so much less stressful when you are not worried about saving folks! MLM. My Life Matters.
I love this!
thatscuteright
Well-Known Member
It's so much less stressful when you are not worried about saving folks! MLM. My Life Matters
Love this #mylifematters #HeavenonEarth
PretteePlease
#fakeworkouts
heaux mentality is me me me i will give you X but I expect XYZ that benefits me
you will give me $
you will give me time
you will take me nice places
you will take me on trips
you will benefit me or you will not exist
You shouldn't have to ...for free
sweetvi
Well-Known Member
It's so much less stressful when you are not worried about saving folks! MLM. My Life Matters
Thats been my new motto. People will drain you dry!!
MrsMe
Well-Known Member
Yes! @PretteePlease
I'm married but if DH and I separate, I will be the quiet heaux.
I know how to play all the men at work and they love to help out in any way, except for this one black man (he's a donkey to everyone).
As someone mentioned up thread using your damsel in distress skills can be used in any context without involving physical contact. I've been told by one of my "helpers" at work that the male assistant in my classroom would do "anything to please" me and that all I had to do was ask. I know it's not sexual at all.
This is a man nobody has been able to work with before but I managed to wrap him around my fingers by speaking his language. Everybody else complains when all they have to do is ask politely, make him feel valued and needed. Keyword here is needed.
Most men are basic. You just have to figure out what makes them tick.
Emotions make this more difficult to master so don't fall for them.
I know from experience because it took me years to realize this.
Ayesha81
Well-Known Member
When I started having my own of everything there is a certain vibe that comes with it . I started attracting well off men effortlessly. I didn't have to do anything to get their attention. I didnt have to ask for anything. They just gave it o me. I always hear " I can tell your about your business". Basically not being a heaux has benefitted me by getting my myself all the way together.
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TopShelf
Sewing & Growing Gamma Gal
Yup, it's true and this is what turned me off from the book. I stopped reading after that
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